Hobbyist VTuber

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“Cut! Great job, everyone~.”

Four hours had passed since Haeun’s first filming wrapped up somehow.

Having just finished the last shoot without any significant blunders, Haeun stepped outside the set with Jo Jeong-yoon.

However, before they could completely leave the filming location, Kim So-hyun appeared and approached Haeun.

I looked at Kim So-hyun with a puzzled expression, just like when Kang Seon-woo had approached Haeun a few hours earlier.

“Uh, Haeun… um, well…”

A moment of fumbling followed. Stuttering and stammering.

What exactly did she want to say to hesitate so much? I momentarily stopped walking and waited for Kim So-hyun to speak up.

“I’m sorry about today… for various reasons.”

Kim So-hyun extended an apology regarding several issues, including ignoring Haeun’s greetings.

Not knowing how to respond, I pondered for a moment but ended up just mumbling that it was okay since I didn’t harbor any ill feelings toward her.

In truth, I had completely forgotten when Haeun’s greetings had been ignored.

Above all, there were other thoughts occupying Haeun’s mind at that moment.

Wrapping up the conversation with Kim So-hyun with a polite remark about hoping for good cooperation in the next shoot, Haeun resumed her steps toward the exit.

Thus, Haeun got into Jo Jeong-yoon’s black van.

Once they began to drive down the quiet, late-night highway with no cars passing by.

‘Hmm, Haeun, your interpretation is spot on, but… from now on, I think it’d be better to focus more on the situation than the character itself.’

She started considering another perspective on acting that Kang Seon-woo had introduced her to.

This was the first time someone had given advice on Haeun’s acting.

And notably, this was also the first time such advice had yielded meaningful results.

Unlike the days when she solely focused on herself, this acting touched on others’ emotions.

It felt strange to touch on something she had never even considered before in various ways.

However, just by slightly provoking the scene, Kim So-hyun’s countless NGs came to an abrupt stop.

Despite being ad-lib dialogue not written in the script, the flow of lines became even smoother.

Of course, Haeun’s previous acting hadn’t been wrong.

Kang Seon-woo, the one who gave the advice, had also mentioned that her interpretation wasn’t incorrect.

It was simply that from the perspective of a veteran actor with numerous filming experiences, Haeun’s acting had been somewhat ‘selfish.’

While he didn’t directly use the term selfish, he had explained at least to some extent how her acting felt to him.

“Um, Haeun, I get car sick when I look at the script in the car.”

“…It’s still bearable for me.”

Haeun began to feel that she shouldn’t insist on just one approach in playing Kim Ji-a moving forward.

The fact that she unfolded the script she had read over and over again was an extension of that thought.

Thus, until the next filming day arrived.

She dedicated her time solely to devising acting that focused on the situation rather than the character, just as Kang Seon-woo advised.

To be precise, she didn’t intend to insist solely on acting focused on the situation.

After all, any style of acting has its strengths and weaknesses.

The key was to have both prepared.

Considering that filming Neighbor Uncle would likely be easier, her preparation paid off.

-Swish.

“Hello.”

“Oh, Haeun, you’re here.”

Until she reunited with Kang Seon-woo at the small church rented for filming located in the outskirts, she had been worrying again and again.

It was after that that they took a tour of the set together, where most of Haeun’s scenes for the day would be filmed with Kang Seon-woo.

“Did you have breakfast?”

“Ah, yes, I had it.”

“Oh? You had it? It’s 8 o’clock now!”

“I usually wake up at 7 and eat.”

“Oh… I see. What a healthy habit you have, Haeun.”

Continuing to chat with Kang Seon-woo about nothing more and nothing less while mentally simulating the filming scene, the voices of the staff began to signal it was almost time to prepare.

Haeun’s first scene today was the moment Jin Gang-sik and Kim Ji-a met for the first time.

The setting was that Kim Ji-a came to eat the free meal provided by the church on Sunday morning and accidentally bumped into Jin Gang-sik, who happened to stop by.

This was an ordinary conversation scene that didn’t require any deep emotional acting.

Since the early part of the scene had a relatively calm atmosphere, there was no need to exert too much effort.

“Um, sir. Did you come here to eat, too?”

“I’m supposed to meet someone here. I already ate.”

“Then, would you mind giving me your meal ticket? I feel so hungry; maybe it’s because I’m at a growing age.”

“…Okay.”

“Cut! Both of you were great!”

Thus, they wrapped up the filming without any notable difficulties.

However, ironically, the next scene took place in a dark and gloomy night.

As time flowed and the dark night sky descended, they had to wait on set until then.

Still, it didn’t feel boring, as today’s last shoot was the pivotal final scene for Neighbor Uncle.

The filming location was the same small church where they had shot in the morning.

A reunion would happen at the very place where Jin Gang-sik and Kim Ji-a met for the first time, a so-called “sumi-sang-gwan” directing style.

Although there was a difference this time, as Jin Gang-sik came to rescue the kidnapped Kim Ji-a rather than merely having come to eat breakfast.

This last scene was what Haeun had been preparing and re-preparing for the longest time, pouring her heart into.

“Then, I’ll see you later, Ji-a.”

“Yes, see you later, sir.”

Bidding farewell to Kang Seon-woo, who played Jin Gang-sik, Haeun bore the most earnest feeling she had held recently.

What Haeun hadn’t thought of was just one thing.

“Um, Haeun, please bear with it a little, even if the storeroom is stuffy.”

“…Okay.”

Unlike the morning filming scene where she had been free, this evening scene started from a hostage situation.

Thus, right now, Haeun was.

‘I should’ve brought a hot pack.’

Left all alone in a tiny storeroom in the corner of the worship hall.

It felt a bit chilly, perhaps because no lights had been turned on for more dramatic staging.

*

“Haa…”

Each breath she exhaled revealed her white breath to her eyes.

Fortunately, she was wearing thermals underneath, so it wasn’t unbearable.

That said, being alone in the small storeroom was a bit boring.

With about ten minutes left until Jin Gang-sik rescued her after the door in front of me opened.

Either way, she had to stay calmly in the storeroom until every villain waiting outside was taken down by Jin Gang-sik.

So, her gaze wandered around the various little items scattered about the storeroom.

Among them, one wooden sign caught her eye.

“Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living creature. Genesis 2:7.”

It was a sentence she recognized well.

The troubling part was that it was a phrase she was too familiar with in a bad way.

‘…Isn’t it about time I forgot this?’

She still didn’t know why the memories of her past life were so vividly fresh.

The famous saying that humans are creatures of forgetfulness was wholly denied by her memories.

Perhaps because she was sitting all curled up in the narrow storeroom.

Unpleasant memories, which she couldn’t even consider good, started retracing back after another.

To be precise, these weren’t stories so rare.

It was a cliché everyone had encountered at least once in dramas or novels.

Cold hospital rooms, the smell of disinfectant, and the monotonous beeping of machines.

And sitting demurely on the snowy white hospital bed.

‘I’m fine, Chairman. Don’t worry too much.’

The red lies I spun toward my distinguished grandfather, the head of a renowned company.

That reflection was entirely a performance directed by those people, devoid of any will of her own.

‘Do you even know how much your mom and dad are suffering because of you?’

‘…If you had been just a little healthier, we wouldn’t have been ignored like this.’

A weak body that had been severely underdeveloped since childhood.

To those people who were consumed by the desire for corporate succession, a sickly child was more than just a hindrance.

With lies claiming that her health was improving.

With the lie that there was a successor to manage the business they’ve built, they desperately struggled not to be ousted from the hierarchy of succession.

They tried to pretend to be normal parents like their relatives with typical children.

As the chance would have it.

Whenever she happened to let out a faint cough in front of her grandfather.

-Slap.

-Thump.

‘I-I was wrong…’

‘…Shut up.’

Using every means at their disposal.

Making sure their future was not ruined by her.

They limited the expressions, voices, and gestures she could present.

Therefore, if she wanted to live even a single day longer.

If she wanted to breathe comfortably for even a single day more, she had to become the ideal child that they desired.

She learned to express only the emotions they wanted.

Only to speak the words they wished to hear.

Only to put on the guise they wanted to see.

Showing only those feelings that were injected and learned, not what she genuinely felt.

As if she were a doll made from clay, not a person.

Yet, unlike the sentences inscribed on that wooden sign before her, she had not been imbued with even a hint of life.

The personality of ‘me’ never existed in the first place, it had long been hidden deep within her chest, which had become a murky bog.

Every time, she crafted a “me” that others wished to see from the mud that lay atop the surface of that bog.

…Was that the reason?

One day, she happened to be drawn to the existence of virtual YouTubers, who showcased only what people wanted to see, much like herself.

However, unlike her, the people on the screen received love from the audience.

When those people smiled, so did the viewers.

In no moment was there any hint of hatred emerging deep from the heart.

Before long, she realized she had been envying those characters on the screen.

Though they were both dolls, they seemed genuinely happy.

Even now, living a life that wasn’t perfectly normal—a family or life was not entirely ordinary.

With the memory of having gazed enviously at those people on the other side of an invisible but insurmountable wall still fresh.

-Swish.

Once again, trying to artificially create expressions, voices, and movements to present to others.

Haeun did not deny the dreams she had while huddled in the dark corner of the hospital room where no sunlight shone.

Though she was a doll rather than a person, she wanted to be loved like a human.

Even if it meant forcing herself to mimic a human.

*

-Creeeak.

At the unexpected sound, all the staff’s eyes turned suddenly toward the storeroom.

Emerging slowly through the creaking wooden door was Haeun, her face stiff with tension.

Kang Seon-woo had just defeated the last villain and was about to rush over to the storeroom where Haeun was, but he was taken aback by this unforeseen sight.

However, from her gradually parting lips, the following escaped.

“…Sir…?”

Her pathetic voice, completely devoid of the calm demeanor Kim Ji-a had always shown, came tumbling out.

Along with that, her small body began to tremble slowly.

The two hazy eyes that were gazing intently at Jin Gang-sik, slightly flushed, realized belatedly that Kim Ji-a, whom he had been trying so hard to rescue, was right there in front of him.

-Swish.

-Swish.

With an expression mixed with worry, anxiety, joy, and relief, he guided himself one careful step after another toward Kim Ji-a.

At last, Jin Gang-sik’s shadow loomed directly before Kim Ji-a.

Then, very gently lowering himself to meet her gaze.

Once their completely wet black eyes met, he finally opened his mouth.

“Let’s go home, Ji-a.”

It announced the end of all the dangers that had enveloped Kim Ji-a.

Carefully reaching out toward the little body that had been so withdrawn.

Thus, the moment Jin Gang-sik’s scarred hands completely embraced Kim Ji-a.

-Drop.

The suppressed emotions that had been stifled within Kim Ji-a began to flow forth in the warmth.

“Ah, sir… I… missed you…”

Her voice trembled uncontrollably as she wrapped her arms around Jin Gang-sik, urging him to hold her even tighter.

“Cut!”

It was a scene that had changed drastically from the script in every aspect.

Yet, no one felt that Haeun’s acting was wrong.

Not a single person had the confidence to say Haeun’s acting was wrong.