Hobbyist VTuber

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After finishing all the lines prepared for Kim Jia’s screen test, I waited until I heard the distant ‘okay’ sign from Kwon Jong Hyuk.

Some time passed, and when it was finally announced that I was free to go home.

“Ah…”

It was more bearable than I had thought.

Yeah, more bearable than I imagined.

The things I conjured up to create my own Kim Jia, separate from Min Da Yeon’s, could never really be called good memories.

I knew they were experiences I no longer had to endure, people I didn’t have to meet.

But just recalling them made my chest feel tight.

To put it simply, it’s aftereffects.

Or maybe, trauma.

On top of that, as I revealed deeper emotions and expressions than I usually showed, I could feel a slight mental exhaustion setting in.

– That’s why.

Thanks to the apple-flavored drink Joo Jung Yoon bought me earlier, I felt a bit better.

Is this why they say you should eat something sweet when you’re stressed?

Anyway, now that the screen test was over, I could have just returned home once my mother, who had briefly gone to the restroom, came back.

“Lee Ha Eun.”

“?”

Min Da Yeon suddenly blocked my path.

And she called me by a name she had never been told about in a very natural manner.

Should I pretend to know her or act like I don’t? After thinking for a moment, I remembered that at this time, Min Da Yeon was a fairly famous child actress, and I met her gaze.

However, the question that came next was completely unexpected.

“Does your mom hit you?”

“…What?”

I couldn’t help but ask back why she had such a strange question.

Eventually, the answer I received from Min Da Yeon was.

“No, you were acting like a kid who was really abused. I was just wondering.”

It was a type of response that I couldn’t clearly distinguish whether it was a compliment or an insult.

In any case, this life of mine was far removed from the very idea of abuse.

“That’s wrong. My mom doesn’t do that.”

“Then that’s a relief.”

Regardless of what Min Da Yeon was imagining, I answered that it was probably not true.

The real reason Min Da Yeon spoke to me was revealed in what she said next.

“Who did you learn that acting from?”

“I didn’t learn it from anyone.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m serious.”

The sharp gaze of Min Da Yeon, who looked at me closely, met mine almost simultaneously.

Not even a few seconds later, a voice mixed with annoyance and suspicion came again.

“If you really weren’t abused or learned it from anyone, then how can a kid like you perform such pathetic acting?”

“…We’re the same age.”

“Ah, anyway!”

Her face slightly flushed, and it dawned on me that all this time, Min Da Yeon had been paying attention to my acting.

It seemed she also felt the competitive spirit I had towards her.

The previous question was probably just out of genuine curiosity, without any ulterior motives.

Yeah, I know in my head that it was purely innocent curiosity.

– Thump.

Why does my chest feel tight again?

There are certain things that can’t be understood just by being told.

Is it because I already know that it’s better to not know than to know those things?

“…It’s better not to know this kind of stuff.”

In the end, I couldn’t provide Min Da Yeon with the answer she wanted.

No matter what, I couldn’t tell a kid like her to experience the same things I went through.

That would be more of a curse than advice.

After that, I saw her turning her back on me with an obviously displeased face.

However, I felt a lingering unease about letting Min Da Yeon go just like that.

“Um, Min… Da Yeon.”

“?”

“You did well.”

I reframed what I wanted to say as I told her that I had been closely watching her acting.

Without responding, her small shadow drifted away into the distance.

For some reason, her footsteps seemed to quicken compared to before.

That’s definitely anger.

But why?

Is it really such a big deal not to hear the answer she wanted?

While I pondered the reason for Min Da Yeon’s anger for a moment…

“Hey, Ha Eun. Did she say anything?”

At some point, my mother was standing next to me, and after folding up my thoughts, I replied.

“…No. She didn’t say anything.”

I reassured my mother, saying that nothing had happened.

After all, there really wasn’t anything that warranted worrying my mother.

Just like any other time, I held my mother’s hand as we headed outside the set.

When we got into the black van that Joo Jung Yoon had already parked at the entrance and began heading home, the innocent voice that was nothing more than pure curiosity echoed in my head.

“If you really weren’t abused or learned it from anyone, then how can a kid like you perform such pathetic acting?”

That voice kept bringing back memories I really didn’t want to recall.

By the time we arrived home, my chest started throbbing, and even my head began to ache.

…Maybe I should have just pretended I didn’t know.

After taking a shower with cold water on purpose and still feeling no better, I decided to pull out my stress relief method for the first time in a long while.

Well, I called it my own stress relief method, but it was just eating something sweet while surfing the internet on the living room computer.

It’s undeniably something that isn’t good for my health, but still, the effect was certain.

I took a piece of the birthday cake that Joo Jung Yoon cut for me a few hours ago and sat down in front of the computer in the living room.

The first place I accessed was YouTube.

I casually played a classic music compilation in the background and slowly browsed through the comments on the matchstick music video for some public sentiment observation.

– The acting level of child actors nowadays is no joke. They handle crying scenes as if it’s nothing.

“ㄴ Isn’t that all done by putting artificial tears in their eyes?”

“ㄴ Can you make your eyes red just from putting in artificial tears? That looks like real tears.”

“ㄴ It’s probably CGI.”

“ㄴ Then the facial expressions must be done with masks. Come on, acknowledge it, human!”

– The new song “Matchstick” from Double Lee represents the selfishness of modern society. It attempts to make listeners aware of the individualism they’ve been exposed to and the loss of altruism through the evolution of civilization… (see more)

“ㄴ Go write that on your blog, old man.”

‘…Hmm.’

I couldn’t make sense of what half of the comments were saying, at least 70% of them.

Still, I thought different comments might pop up as time went on; however, they were all just similar comments from last week.

Eventually, after reading about 30 comments, I got tired and scrolled up the comment section.

I opened a new tab and accessed an internet broadcasting station called New World TV.

With a much more serious expression than when I was reading the last music video comments, I tuned into a live gaming broadcast that was currently ongoing.

Then, slowly, I pressed the keyboard.

<D.A: Watching Start~>

I typed my trademark speech into the quiet chat window among the many viewers.

The BJ who greeted me warmly after that.

“Oh, D.A! I was waiting for you to come!”

The conversation that followed was a casual discussion about the game equipment currently being enhanced.

He complained about how much it had cost and how it seemed like the enhancements were about to succeed now.

I responded appropriately with the knowledge I had gathered over time.

There were about four or five other viewers besides me, but since I was the only one typing in the chat,

In a way, it felt like a one-on-one broadcast with the BJ.

There was a sense of inner familiarity already established with the BJ.

In reality, the game the BJ was currently playing was one I had never played in either my past or present life.

But the reason I had been watching this gaming broadcast for days without dedicating extra time was simple.

[BJ Darumji’s quest to enhance the Black Meteor Sword +11]

This “Darumji” was someone who would grow to be a massive influencer, later referred to as the “King of the Children.”

Moreover, he was also the one who introduced the “Fantasy Realm” virtual YouTuber group to the world.

“Oh, oh, oh…! I-it worked!!!”

<D.A: Congrats, Congrats>

Even during a time when the viewership was still in single digits, aka the so-called “low-tier broadcaster” days,

I felt it was important to get in early to foster helpful connections later on.

This was so-called “buying the dip.”

In a very distant future, when I support the Fantasy Realm virtual YouTuber group under the same nickname D.A in the chat, perhaps he would remember me and be glad.

Time passed while I continued to watch Darumji’s broadcast until I started feeling slightly sleepy.

Nearly all the memories that had recently cluttered my mind seemed to vanish like a mirage.

After all, I can’t find a better way to relieve stress than this.

Since the cake was a sugary snack, I would have to increase my physical activity tomorrow, but that was no big deal.

It was a hundred times better than being in a state of restlessness.

*

– Buzz.

– Buzz.

“Hello?”

[Oh, Manager Joo, it’s Jung Do Cheol.]

“Ah, yes. Mr. Director, what can I do for you?”

[Is our actor in class now?]

Hae Eun’s manager, Joo Jung Yoon, briefly shifted her gaze to the other side at the sound of Jung Do Cheol’s deep voice asking what Hae Eun was currently doing.

Eventually, what reflected in her eyes was Hae Eun, clad in a headset, focusing on the sheet music of a famous singer in the Double Lee recording studio.

For a moment, Joo Jung Yoon was stunned by the massive contrast from an usual children’s music class.

Then, remembering that this class had already been ongoing for several weeks, she opened her mouth again.

“She’s right in the middle of her lesson now. If it’s something urgent, I can go over—”

[No, no, it’s not that urgent. Just let me know later that our actor’s first debut film has been decided.]

Following up with that was Jung Do Cheol’s sturdy voice, expressing he hadn’t been mistaken about his eyes.

Just like that, without any prior warning, the call abruptly ended.

And soon after, receiving a message that included the contact information of the “Uncle Next Door” film production crew, Joo Jung Yoon began to ponder.

‘…What should I do first?’

She began to deeply consider what action to take regarding Hae Eun’s casting in the “Uncle Next Door” film.

Well, the first people she needed to contact had already been determined.

So, she immediately began typing on her cellphone to reach out to Hae Eun’s parents.

This type of important news should definitely be delivered to family members first, she thought.

“Hello, Mrs. Lee. Yes, this is Joo Jung Yoon. I’m contacting you with good news.”

The subsequent story was about how Hae Eun had been cast in “Uncle Next Door.”

Sure enough, over the phone, Na Yeon’s voice, filled with joy, could be heard, and Joo Jung Yoon responded enthusiastically.

Shortly after, she ran into Lee Geon Yeol, who had just stepped out of the studio.

As if he might have eavesdropped on the call, he soon asked if Hae Eun was really cast as Kim Ji Ah.

– Nod.

I nodded, affirming what I had just heard.

However, immediately after, Lee Geon Yeol mentioned something less than a whisper.

“…So the beef really was cheap. Our timing for the dip buy was pretty fantastic.”

I couldn’t make sense of what that meant.