Highschool DxD : The Time Devil

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Chapter 9: The Trials of Nobility

"Wait!! You're doing it wrong! Hold it with the fork, and use the knife to cut it gently… I said gently!" My mother's voice rang out, exasperated. For what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour, I was reminded just how utterly unskilled I was at the fine art of noble dining.

It was an absolute mystery to me why I needed to know how to balance silverware with precision or why there were so many different spoons just for soup. Who even needed more than one spoon anyway?

Sighing, I muttered, "Why do I have to learn all this etiquette stuff? It's so… pointless." But my mother shot me a look, one that clearly said, "Watch it."

"I know you want to be strong, but proper dining etiquette is part of being a noble," she replied, her tone slightly softened but still firm. "You need to understand how to conduct yourself in public settings. Not everyone will admire your strength, and some may only respect you for your status."

I didn't dare voice my true feelings out loud. I may have confidence in my Eternal Sanctuary, but I wasn't entirely sure it could defend me from an attack by her sandals. She was really into this whole teaching-me-to-be-a-proper-noble thing, and nothing was going to get in the way of her perfect lesson plan.

"Mom, I'm already full," I tried, giving her my most pitiful look. "Please, can we stop for today? I promise I'll learn the rest tomorrow."

"Oh no, you're not getting out of it this time. You've said the same thing yesterday. And the day before that." She gave me a firm look. "So sit tight and learn."

I slumped in my chair, feeling like a caged animal. How many ways did one need to cut a piece of meat? It seemed like each piece required a different technique—slice, cut, turn, repeat. It felt like a ridiculous dance.

Just when I thought I was doomed to a lifetime of fork-and-knife purgatory, the door creaked open, and Seekvaira walked into the room. Her expression was a mix of amusement and curiosity, and I could practically see the wheels turning in her mind as she took in the scene before her.

"Having trouble, are we?" she asked, taking a seat across from me. "Do you want me to show you how it's done?"

"Oh, by all means," I replied with exaggerated enthusiasm. "I'd love to watch you master this fine art of… steak cutting." I shot her a mock-serious glance, trying to lighten the mood.

With an air of confidence, Seekvaira picked up her knife and fork, her movements fluid and graceful. "Alright, Mr. Grumpy. Watch and learn." She demonstrated the precise movements, slicing through the meat like it was butter, her technique flawless.

My mother smiled approvingly, and I could practically hear her thinking that Seekvaira was a shining example of proper etiquette. "See? It's not that hard. Just a little practice, and you'll be just as graceful," my mom said, her eyes glistening with pride.

I slumped deeper into my chair, dramatically dropping my fork onto the plate with a loud clatter. "I'll never be able to do it like that. I'm doomed to be the disgrace of the Agares clan."

Seekvaira smirked, giving me a playful nudge. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. Just imagine this is all part of your training. You want to be the strongest someday, right? Maybe mastering noble etiquette is… step one?"

I gave her a deadpan look. "I think I'd rather fight off an entire army of fallen angels than go through another minute of this."

Just as I began to spiral into self-pity, my mother chimed in. "You know, strength isn't just about physical power. It's also about how you present yourself. This is important for your future."

"Yeah, but I can't help but feel that all this is just getting in the way of my training. I mean, how is learning to hold a fork going to help me fight?"

Seekvaira burst out laughing, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, if you can't hold a fork, how do you expect to hold a sword?"

I groaned, feeling the weight of my predicament pressing down on me. "But I'm not even using the sword! I'm learning how to cut meat!"

"Exactly! And if you can't cut meat properly, how do you expect to slice through your enemies? It's all connected!" Seekvaira leaned back, crossing her arms, enjoying her role as the friendly tormentor.

"Oh, I just realized," I said, trying to change the subject. "What if we just use our powers and skip all this? I could cut the meat precisely with a space cut, and we wouldn't have to worry about etiquette at all!"

My mother gave me an incredulous look. "And what if you accidentally destroy the table? Or worse, the wall? You'll have to pay for damages from your pocket money!"

"Who even cares about the walls?" I threw my hands in the air, exasperated. "It's all about power! If I'm going to be the strongest guy around, I should be able to eat however I want!"

"But what if you need to impress someone? You never know when an important diplomat might show up," my mom argued.

"Fine, fine!" I relented, grumbling as I picked up my fork again. "But can we at least make this a bit more entertaining?"

Seekvaira leaned closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "How about a bet? Next time we have a session, let's see who can mess up the most without getting caught. Loser owes the winner a favor."

I grinned, feeling a surge of excitement. "You're on! I'll be the champion of the most disastrous dining experience!"

"Just wait until we have a formal dinner," she teased. "You'll be crying for mercy!"

I could hardly imagine what a formal dinner would entail. The thought of being surrounded by nobles while I struggled to navigate a plate of food was enough to make me break out in a sweat.

As I resumed my attempts to cut the meat, my mother suddenly switched topics. "You know, Seekvaira, we should probably make sure he learns how to eat with both hands. He can't just shove everything in his mouth like he does with those training meals."

I snorted, fighting back laughter. "I don't shove everything in my mouth! It's called a balanced diet, Mom."

"Oh, is that what you call it?" Seekvaira quipped, biting back her own laughter. "I thought you were just practicing for the 'Noble Slaughterhouse' technique."

"Hey! That's not a real thing!" I protested, though the image of myself as some sort of savage nobleman made me chuckle.

Once the initial laughter subsided, my mom stood up and clapped her hands, her expression turning serious again. "Alright, let's switch gears. We're going to do a quick lesson on conversational skills. You need to be able to speak clearly and confidently when engaging with others, especially during meals."

"Can't I just nod and grunt?" I quipped, grinning at Seekvaira. "Seems like a good plan."

"Only if you want to be known as the grunting noble," Seekvaira shot back, clearly enjoying the banter.

"Now, what should we discuss?" My mother's brow furrowed in thought as she glanced around. "How about the latest happenings in the kingdom? You need to stay informed."

I shrugged, trying to think of something witty. "I heard that the clan's treasury is low because the gardener has started charging extra for the rare flowers. Apparently, they're running a flower inflation crisis."

My mom raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a laugh. "You know that's not real, right?"

"I'm just trying to get into character here! You said we need to be knowledgeable!"

"Well, perhaps stick to actual news instead of making up ridiculous scenarios," my mom replied, though I could tell she was amused.

Just then, Seekvaira interjected, "How about the recent monster sightings in the northern territories? That seems to be quite the hot topic."

"Right! Monsters!" I exclaimed, eager to shift focus. "There's been reports of packs of them roaming near the borders. Apparently, they've started raiding farms, but the farmers are fighting back."

My mother nodded, impressed. "See? You can contribute to conversations with relevant topics. Just like that!"

I smirked, leaning back in my chair with mock pride. "Look at me! A noble with actual conversation skills!"

Seekvaira elbowed me lightly, her smile warm. "Don't get too full of yourself. You still have to pass the etiquette exam."

"Ugh, the etiquette exam," I groaned, sinking deeper into my chair. "I'll never be able to pass that."

"Of course you will. You just need to practice more. Besides, you've got me to help you!" Seekvaira beamed.

At that moment, the tension in the room faded, replaced by a sense of camaraderie. Even as I struggled with my mother's lessons, I realized that I was lucky to have them both by my side, this life I was sure, I will not end up alone like my previous one.