Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself

B3 | 48 - The World Itself



“Okay, Snips,” I said. “When you’re ready.”

No response came, so I tore my eyes from the barbecue before me, casting a glance her way. “... Snips? You right?”

She shook her head, returning to the present and blowing apologetic bubbles.

“No need to apologize,” Maria said from my side. “No harm, no foul.”

I nodded my agreement as Snips scuttled toward me and leaped into my arms. I held her out between the herbs, spices and the fish, letting her season as she willed. I couldn’t help but raise an appreciative eyebrow at her selection; she had clearly been paying attention to me when I was cooking. The flavors selected would pair well with what was arguably the most important ingredient.

As if reading my mind, Claws leaped into Maria’s arm and gestured down at the honeycomb, unleashing a questioning chirp.

“Not yet,” I said.

She crossed her arms and pouted, making Maria laugh and rub her head reassuringly.

“Have some patience, Claws,” she said, stroking her softly. “If we rush the process, it might not work.”

Letting out an aggrieved sigh, Claws finally nodded, accepting our words.

Completely unbothered, Snips had continued seasoning the fish, going back to add extra sprinkles here and there. I watched without adding my advice, content for this to be a collaborative effort. With any luck, The System might consider it another requirement for the quest I was on.

My oldest foe took that slight acknowledgement as an opportunity to strike out at me.

Quest: Group Project.

Objective: [Error. Insufficient Power.]

Reward: [Error. Insufficient Power.]

“Uggghhh,” I complained.

Snips froze, shooting me a worried glance.

“Sorry.” I rubbed the top of her head. “Not you. I thought about that quest I’m on and the System hit me with some error bullshit.”

“I’m guessing it did so without you requesting it,” Maria said. “Which reminds me, we never did speak about why you were so adamant about not reading your advancements.”

“Oh, really? I’d completely forgotten,” I lied, grinning and shooting her a wink.

“Riiight,” she drawled. “The man with perfect recall somehow forgot that I wanted to talk about something he avoids.”

“Weird, right?”

When I didn’t continue yapping, she nudged me in the side. “Come on. Out with it.” She held up a finger as an afterthought. “Unless it’s going to give you some sort of awakening that leads to an explosion. In that case, I’d appreciate it if you let me go around the corner before you say it out loud.”

I tried to give her a flat look but it failed spectacularly; I couldn’t help but join in with the beautiful smile she gave me.

If I was being honest with myself, I’d completely avoided thinking about the notifications and my subsequent aversion to them. The moment I brought them to mind, a familiar tightness appeared in my chest, feeling as though vines wrapped around my torso and squeezed. I was unaware of the cause, but this was the exact sensation that always came over me.

It was only natural that I tried to push System notifications away when this was how they made me feel, wasn’t it?

Thinking back, though, that wasn’t how it had always been. In the beginning, I’d been excited by the idea of the game-like mechanic. It was new and novel, a reminder that I’d left Earth behind and arrived in a new world. But then the notifications had continued being, well, useless. Insufficient power. Superfluous systems offline, I quoted in my head, repeating the System’s bothersome mantra for the first couple of months that I’d been here. That had been annoying, sure, but nothing like the sheer anxiety that seemed to constrict me now when the System spoke up.

“I think...” I said, verbally processing. “That they might be a confirmation of my power?”

“Hmmm.” Maria rubbed her chin. “And acknowledging your power means you should take on more responsibility?”

I reeled back, her statement like a punch to my nervous system. “Uh, judging by the panic that just shot through me, I’d say yes.”

“Oh, Fischer.” In one smooth movement, she stepped in and slipped an arm around my back. The other went around my front, and when she clasped her fingers and pulled me tight, the squeeze she gave me was nothing like the lingering vines wrapping around my chest. A calm ease resonated from everywhere her body met mine, making the vines recede and my breaths come easier. “Even if it is a confirmation of your power, who cares what anyone else wants from you?” she asked. “Myself included.”

“Tell that to Barry,” I said, smirking.

“Barry can kiss rocks.”

I barked a laugh that made the last vestiges of tightness leave me. “It’s kick rocks,” I corrected. “Barry can kick rocks.”

“Yeah, well, he can kiss them too for all I care.” She leaned back so she could look into my eyes, her hair falling away from her face. “Thank you for not exploding with that realization. It was much appreciated.”

I laughed again, any memory of my anxiety gone. “You’re most welcome, though the lack of a breakthrough could be because I haven’t discovered a fix for it.”

“You already have the solution, silly. It’s that mindfulness you’re always talking about. And if that doesn’t work, just come talk to me so I can squeeze it out of you.” She emphasized the point by pulling herself in and doing her best to crush me. My body was much too strong, so it just felt like a rather nice hug.

“Will do,” I replied, wrapping my arms around her upper body.

Two creatures leaped up onto us, Claws perching atop my head and Snips clinging to my back. I closed my eyes, focusing on all the love they were offering. “I don’t know what I’d do without you girls.”

Claws let out a self-satisfied chirp as her upside-down head smiled at me, telling me she was all too aware I’d be lost without her.

Maria and I both laughed this time. Snips and Claws joined in, Snips with soft hisses and Claws with a maniacal cackle that would make any passersby assume she was evil.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s get this meal started. If we wanna win over a new friend, we’re gonna have to make something wonderful.”

Claws’s villainous chuckle immediately ceased. She leaped up onto the barbecue, staring at me as she awaited instructions.

“Now that Snips has applied her seasonings, we should cook the fish. If we add the honey too soon, it’ll likely cook off and get diminished by the meat’s juices, so I’m thinking we drizzle it over after. The scent will attract the bear. Also,” I added, “we should add a tiny bit of Queen Bee’s honey. Not too much, though.”

“I was going to ask about that,” Maria said. “Why don’t you just smother it in Queen Bee’s honey from the get go? That would make the bear ascend immediately, wouldn’t it?”

“It might sound weird, but that kind of feels like cheating? I’m sure he’d love it, and the smell of their chi-fulled honey might have been what originally lured him in. That can be our backup plan if what we make here doesn’t work.”

Maria raised an eyebrow and gave me a smirk. “You made Bumblebro ascend with literal water in sugar. I don’t think a backup plan will be necessary.”

Claws, who had been growing visibly impatient as we conversed, chirped at us.

“Yeah, yeah.” I rubbed her head. “We can start.”

It only took a handful of minutes for us to get a fire roaring beneath the barbecue plate, and before long, the tallow smoked atop the cooking surface.

“Let’s all do it at the same time,” I said, gesturing at the fish. “As we place it on the barbecue, imagine chi going into it. I’ll take the lead. Just do your best to follow along.”

With a hand from Maria and me, a paw from Claws, and a firm pincer from Snips, we set the shore fish down on the barbecue plate. It immediately hissed and bubbled, soft vapors wafting up and filling the air with a delicious scent. I closed my eyes, picturing what I wanted from this creation.

As cliché as it was, especially coming from me, this was all about friendship. Contrary to what everyone assumed, none of my animal pals were my servants. I was as loyal to them as they were to me, and that was exactly what I desired from a potential bear companion.

I considered it further; perhaps that wasn’t being specific enough...

Though I considered Rocky a pal, the homie was a colossal prick. Our ‘friendship’, if you could even call it that, was completely one-sided. He was entitled to his agency, but I didn’t want another friendship like that. I wanted more bonds like what I had with the rest of my animal pals. Something deeper, even. My core buzzed its assent, agreeing with the sentiment. When I pushed out with my will, pressing it toward the waiting ingredients.

As Maria, Claws, and Snips joined their wills to mine, I shifted my thinking toward how I would shape the fish’s chi. I could infuse my essence into the meal, filling it with power. I could catch another fish and channel its chi into this one, distilling the essence into something stronger. Neither of these options felt right, though. My instincts screamed that the shore fish’s natural state was correct. Leaning into this odd understanding, I was about to leave it at that when the world around us seemed to disagree.

Small wisps of chi floated up from the ground, coming forward of their own accord. I marveled at them as they curled through the air, condensing into thin lines of potential.

Startled as I was, it was nothing compared to how Maria, Snips, and Claws felt. I was aware of their attention from the moment I closed my eyes, and judging by the confusion radiating from them, they could sense the storm gathering around us. I sent soothing waves of reassurance out toward them, encouraging them to continue. Their shock slowly fell away, leaving only a profound curiosity about the anomalous event. When their wills rejoined with mine, one of them stood out among the others.

Likely because of Claws’s recent advancement, her efforts were much more subtle. Where Claws and Snips were a blunt object, she was a precision tool, cutting through any spots that needed adjusting. She was clearly aware of me studying her movements, because she sent me what was best described as a solid wall of gloating. I could practically see her eyebrows wiggling at me, demanding praise. A small smile crossed my face before I returned to my mental efforts and left behind the sensations of my body.

The fish was almost cooked through, so without opening my eyes, I flipped it. Fat bubbled and spat, but I paid it no mind. The chi held within the fish told me that the last of its opaque flesh was turning white under the barbecue’s heat. In response, the world’s chi winding around us seemed to dance. Its condensed lines flared and sputtered like small flames.

It felt... excited.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about the world itself being chuffed with our efforts, but I didn’t have the time to consider it. Following my instincts, I started leading the chi in toward us. Its lines still burgeoned like small flames, but they listened to my will, slowly winding in, getting closer. Maria, Snips, and Claws joined themselves to me, the former two like a hammer slamming nails into place, and Claws a guiding hand that helped me keep the strikes together.

The world grew even more content with our work, seeming to sing its approval.

Something atop the barbecue physically moved, distracting me for the barest of moments. It was part of the honeycomb. Engrossed as I was, I’d completely forgotten about the ingredient, but the condensing storm of chi hadn’t. I added ‘the world adding ingredients without my intervention’ to my mental list of things to consider later; I didn’t have any more attention to spare.

The moment the honey touched the fish, we were in the endgame. I gave all my focus to molding the chi that whirled around us, its power now so strong that it was almost blinding to my senses. Maria and Snips wanted to get away from it, to flee, so I sent more assurance their way, telling them it was okay if they wanted to do so. I half expected them to take me up on the offer, but they both surprised me. Gritting their teeth, they doubled down, rejoining Claws and me and letting us shape their efforts.

An uncomfortable pressure started to build in my core, as if our undertaking was too grand. Too ambitious. I didn’t understand. We were making food, something I’d done countless times. I’d experienced nothing like this before, and just as I was considering canceling the entire attempt, the strands of chi descended as one. Each passed through us and slammed into the fish.

It was like a flashbang going off inside my head, cutting off all of my senses. With everything going white, I felt myself falling.


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