Her True Form

“Well, isn’t this nice. You two have a fun reunion?” a voice said, stirring Yvette awake.

She groaned and sat up, looking around blearily. Her body was sore and she realized quickly it was because she had been laying half off the cot, resting against Gervas.

His face was slightly tinted red when she sat up, giving her a calm, if wary, look. She didn’t even remember falling asleep, though she knew they had been talking for ages. Despite his agreement to not try to escape, he had still asked for all the details he could get about the situation. How many people were on the ship, what weapons were close at hand, biggest dangers, anything and everything. Sadly, she’d known very little.

Though as much as she’d wanted to scold herself for it, she knew that would be a waste of time. When she had moved about the ship, her mind had been focused on the impending death by leviathan. The idea that she might somehow survive, let alone make it back, had seemed laughable. Now she wished she had spent more time studying what was here. Gervas at least hadn’t gotten mad at her for it.

She couldn’t believe she had fallen asleep laying against him like this. She was amazed he hadn’t pulled away or shoved her off him. Had he fallen asleep too?

Her heart pounded a little harder while she stared at him, unable to keep those thoughts from flooding forth. Her mouth went dry and she leaned in just a little bit.

It was then that she remembered someone was watching them. Her head whipped around to see the captain outside the bars, eyeing the pair with an amused look on her face. “Oh, finally deciding to listen, have we?” she asked with a light chuckle. “Do you two need some more privacy? The whole mage and guardian romance thing is sweet, really it is. But when I come down here, I really do expect a bit more attention,” she said, her voice dripping with teasing amusement.

Yvette nodded slowly. “Y-yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.”

“Good. Now then, guardian,” Jade said before glancing to Gervas. “I take it your mage has told you everything?”

“Yes,” he said firmly, glancing back to Yvette for a moment. He reached up to grip her shoulder and lightly push her up and away from him. She quickly inched away, trying to keep the embarrassment off her face, though she could feel her cheeks quickly heating. “You’re taking us to the sirens, apparently?” he asked.

“You need a tear. That was part of the agreement. Generally I try to keep my word,” she said with a shrug. “It makes deals so much easier when both parties can be trusted to do what they say, no?”

“Coming from a pirate of all things I find that hard to believe,” Gervas said, scowling up at her.

“A woman is only as good as her word and I’ll have you know I’m very good. It’ll be a while before we arrive, however. So I’ve come to make you two an offer.”

Yvette held her breath, feeling dread fill her stomach. She really hoped she wasn’t going to have to fight another leviathan. She had been lucky to survive the first. Surviving a second sounded impossible.

“We can leave you cramped down here until we arrive. Or, if the pair of you can behave, you’ll be allowed to move around the ship. You’ll be locked up at night, of course. But during the day you can come out with an escort.”

Yvette felt the bed shift slightly and she realized that Gervas had twitched in surprise at that response. She quickly turned back to the captain, unable to keep the surprise off her own face. “Wait, really? Why?”

“Because I’m not a sadist. I’m feeling quite generous after the haul you helped us get, Yvette. Also, Lunia practically begged me to let you continue your lessons while you’re still on our ship. Waste of time if you ask me, but I’ve always been one to help spread the cheer when it’s warranted. There are, of course, rules. Primarily, you do as we say. No causing any trouble. You return to the cage each night. Understand? Any sign of trying to cause trouble and it’s back to sleep for both of you. Cause enough trouble and you won’t be waking up until you’re resting in the claws of the sirens you so desperately seek. Understand?”

Yvette nodded before glancing towards Gervas. He, very slowly, gave a nod.

“Good. Glad we had this talk,” Jade said with a dismissive wave of her hand before turning and walking away. “Lunia will be down soon to escort. Have fun.”

Gervas watched the woman leave before, after a few moments, he glanced to Yvette. “Was that Jade?”

“Captain Jade, yes,” Yvette said softly, staring at the now empty doorway.

“She was a lot less violent than I’d heard.”

Yvette gave a small, weak chuckle before nodding. “She hasn’t been very violent from what I’ve seen. Then again, I’ve been sure to do whatever she says. What have you heard about her?”

“That she’s cruel, merciless, angry. That she’ll cut down anyone who gets in her way, regardless of--”

“That’s pretty much all true,” Lunia said, the woman stepping into the room. “Probably a lot of stuff you haven’t heard too. I see you’re awake, Gervas.”

Yvette noticed that he tensed up, but didn’t say anything. Instead there was nothing but awkward silence while the aquamancer reached out and touched the bars, causing them to part. She felt her own nerves getting the better of her and she finally spoke up. “If she’s that violent, why has she been… err...”

“She’s only that way to those who get in her way or betray her,” Lunia muttered, motioning the two out. “So long as you two are well behaved, though, I can guarantee that you’ll be safe.”

“I’m sure your guarantee is worth so very much,” Gervas said, the frustration and sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“If you’d rather wait in the cell until we get to the isles, you’re welcome to,” Lunia said briskly, her own anger in her voice. “I came to offer her help, not you.”

Yvette could already feel the fight beginning to brew and she quickly stepped in. “Thank you very much, Lunia, for the help!” she said quickly. “And of course not. It’s better if we’re able to move about, right Gervas?”

He glared at her but, very slowly, he nodded.

“We are going to the isles, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” Lunia said, before turning and motioning for the two to follow them through the ship and towards the deck. She quickly followed behind. “Though you know, you don’t have to leave.”

“I really do,” Yvette said with a shake of her head. “I can’t just--”

“The things you need may end up here, eventually. You’d be surprised what kind of things we get our hands on from time to time,” Lunia said quickly, cutting her off.

“Is that why you’re here?” Gervas asked, his voice dripping with disgust. “Trying to make sure you have all the tools you need for your research, regardless of how many lives you have to take?”

Lunia cringed, taking a small breath. “I don’t really have much of a choice in--”

“There’s always a choice,” Gervas said. “You have clearly made yours.”

“Spoken like a guardian who knows nothing,” Lunia said back, shaking her head. “You have no idea what it’s like for a fallen mage.”

“I know exactly what it’s like. Has it ever even occurred to you that--”

“Gervas!” Yvette yelled, cutting him off. “We are on a ship filled with pirates. Do you mind not insulting the one of them that seems intent on making sure we don’t end up getting killed?” Gervas opened his mouth to object, but she could almost feel what he was going to say. “Yes, she’s a mage. I know that. And I know you have strong feelings about mages. But now is really not the time. Remember what you said about going into the mouth of the dragon turtle?”

He stared at her, his eyes wide with shock. After a few moments, however, he gave a small nod. “You’re right. My apologies, Lunia.”

The aquamancer gave a small nod before letting out a relieved sigh. She walked up to the deck of the ship, motioning Yvette to follow her towards the bow. “It’s fine. You’re not entirely wrong. We are pirates. We take what we want and won’t hesitate to kill if people get in our way. But there are plenty of worse things out there. The captain, as dangerous as she is, is honest and good to her crew. If she promises you something, you can trust her to keep her word. If you don’t cause trouble or betray her, she can even be kind.”

“If you don’t?” Yvette asked.

Lunia stopped at the bow of the ship, leaning forward and resting her hands on the railing. “A few months after I was first brought on board, one of the crew tried to stage a mutiny. Her and a dozen other women.” She gave a light shudder. “Captain Jade is good to her crew. She’s honest and kind to those who serve her. As long as you don’t push her, she’ll even let you get away with a lot. But she is merciless. They’re all dead. They begged for their lives, said they were tricked. But the captain didn’t care. Those who didn’t die in the scuffle were weighed down with stones and tossed overboard. Betraying her, in any way, means death.”

“Can you leave?” Yvette asked, glancing out towards the sea. She imagined plummeting through the water, unable to escape the rocks weighing her down. She gave a light shudder.

“If I want to, yes. Not that I would,” Lunia said with a shake of her head. “For all of her faults, for how violent she can be? At least with her I know where I stand. Sure, it’s not always the greatest life. Sometimes things can get pretty nasty here, violent. But a life at sea suits an aquamancer just fine. Besides, she breeds a certain kind of loyalty once you get to better know her. It’s almost fun here at times.”

Gervas gave a light snort, but Yvette ignored him.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you become a fallen mage?”

That made Lunia flinch before she reached into her robe, pulling out the bracer. “That’s really none of your business, Yvette. Same as it’s not mine as to why you’re fallen.”

Yvette flushed, her cheeks burning. “It’s not my fault that--”

“There are a lot of reasons one can become a fallen mage, Yvette. There’s a lot of rules that the Mage’s Association puts into place that, frankly, don’t make sense. They cause more damage than harm.” She turned and tossed the bracer to Yvette, smacking her in the chest and making her grasp wildly to catch it before it could fall on the ground. “They try to control not just magic, but mages themselves. But there is a lot even they still don’t understand.”

Yvette slowly slid the bracer on, glancing up at the other woman. “Well, yes, but they’re still learning. Sometimes they--”

“The magic we know. It’s dependent on focuses. But there is so many different types of magic out there. True naming magic. Blood magic. Fae, dragon. Those are just the ones I’ve seen personally. There’s likely so many different others that exist. Ones that people are better at than others.” She motioned to the bracer. “And yet, all the Mage’s Association will focus on, will allow people to learn, is focus magic. They ignore other magics as if they don’t exist. Sometimes worse. Then that magic they bind and wrap in their rules, for fear of the wrong people getting their hands on it.”

Yvette’s cheeks burned. “W-well, I’m sure they--”

“I’ve been hunted, Yvette. I’ve seen what the Mage’s Association will do to those who go against them.” She glanced to Gervas and her eyes narrowed slightly. “When I first came here, I didn’t have a choice. But there’s a reason I’ve never left. For all of the violence and danger here, in some ways it’s so much safer and better than if I was back under the Mage’s Associations thumb.”

“If you’re getting any wild ideas about finishing that spell and then hoping to be accepted back into the Mage’s Association with open arms, don’t,” Lunia said with a shake of her head. “As much as you may not like to hear it, they’re a lot like pirates in a way. If you play by their rules, obey them, they’ll sometimes treat you fairly and allow you to carry on. But the moment you became a fallen, Yvette, they wrote you off. There’s no going back for you, ever.”

Yvette felt a small jump in her stomach and nervously glanced back to Gervas. “I actually have a plan for that,” she said softly.

Lunia glanced back, her eyes wide in surprise. “Oh? Decided to take the captain up on her offer?”

“No!” Yvette said quickly.

“Wait, what offer?” Gervas asked, his eyes narrowing. “You never mentioned any offer, Yvette.”

“It’s not important.”

“I disagree.”

“I’m not accepting it. I might help her, the others who are like me. But I’m not a pirate. I can’t do this.” She glanced back to Lunia. “What you do, I just can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I--”

“Naive little thing, aren’t you?” Lunia asked with a light chuckle. “If you’re planning to go back to the Mage’s Association, though, you should know that’s foolishness. You’re her guardian, aren’t you? I hope you haven’t been filling her head with tales of--”

Yvette couldn’t help it. Just those words alone made her break out into a fit of laughter. “Of course not. He hates the association. No. I can find work in other ways.” She nervously rubbed the ring on her finger. “I’ll find a way. Somehow.”

“Well aren’t you just a bastion of hope?” Lunia asked with a low chuckle. “If, by some miracle, you do manage to survive your mission and get your spell? I’m certain the captain would find a home for you here. It may not be where you expected to go, but it’d be better than dead or chained in a cell somewhere.”

Yvette nodded and glanced towards Gervas, noting the annoyance on his face. She felt a flash of satisfaction at that. She’d offered herself to him in a way that she’d never done for anyone and he had turned her aside. It would serve him right if she did end up finding a new home here, found someplace where she was wanted.

A moment later she felt guilt creeping inside and shoved those thoughts away. Even if he didn’t want her in that manner, he had been fighting for her, risking his life for her, over and over. He’d stood by her side regardless of the consequences, just so she didn’t have to face this alone. Even if he couldn’t love her the way she desperately wanted him to, she couldn’t ignore all of the kindness and care he had already shown her.

Though a small part of her wished there was some way to make him love her. Make him want her in the way she wanted him. Was there magic to make someone fall in love with her?

She shook her head again. Love potions were dangerous magic. She’d heard so many stories about them having gone bad over time. Even worse, most of them only worked for so long before a resistance was built up. The mind could only be altered so many times by magic before it got better at resisting such magics. That thought made her jolt. She whipped around and stared at Gervas, her mouth falling open. She felt like an idiot.

“What?” Gervas asked.

She couldn’t help staring, though. He’d mentioned before that he doubted she could tamper with his mind. The captain had mentioned that keeping him unconscious had been difficult. His resistances to magic were strong.

How many times had his mind been tampered with? What mages had been doing it?

A new horror crept into her mind when she thought about the way he talked about his mother, especially the way he had talked about her to his grandmother back at the vault.

What horrors had his mother subjected him to?

“Yvette? Are you okay?” Lunia asked, making her turn back around to face her. “No need to get so pale, I’m not going to break you, just help you with some basics. You’re going to want to remember this. The sirens can be incredibly dangerous if you’re not prepared.”

“W-what? Yes. Right. Sorry. Let’s,” Yvette said, feeling unease blossoming inside her none the less.