Healing the Dark - Dragon Age Inquisition Fanfic

Holli sat at the table with Bull, Sera, and Varric. She didn't usually come into the tavern. Varric had brought her in for dinner a couple of times, but other than that, she kept her distance. There was still that fear that she might become her mother—and her mother was a barfly. 

The others were teaching her how to play Wicked Grace. She'd heard of the game since she'd been here, seen some of the soldiers playing it as she was passing by. She had been curious about it, and now she got to try it. She did fairly well at most card games because she did tend to cheat. And apparently this game expected it. She wasn't sure if that was better or worse, whether it would help or hinder. 

Varric had explained the rules, and they were playing a practice game to make sure she got it. It wasn't too difficult to get, and the art on the cards was quite pretty; it reminded her of tarot cards almost.

Varric dealt, and she picked up her cards. No angel of death. Revealing it on the first round would probably annoy most people; she was a little keen to do it for that fact alone. Of course, the winner probably wouldn't give a shit.

"Do you not have Wicked Grace where you come from?" Sera asked.

Holli shook her head. 

"Do you have cards at all?"

"Yeah, but they're just numbered, and the face cards are just King, Queen, and Jack, and they're all sorted into four different suits—Diamonds, Hearts, Clubs, and Spades," she replied, discarding a card and picking up another. That had been a lateral move.

She paid close attention to what the others discarded, hoping she could keep track of what was left in the pickup pile and hazard some educated guesses on what might be in their hands. 

"So what's the main thing you miss from home?" Sera asked. 

Holli shot her a look over her cards. "My mum."

The silence stretched out at that until Sera blew a raspberry. "Boring. And a bit of a depressing answer."

"Well, what did you expect?"

"I dunno, some kind of food maybe."

"I miss not having to walk everywhere. I miss the buses and the tube."

"At least that sounds more interesting; explain that."

Holli did, launching into a wistful explanation of the public transport system. Was it perfect? No. Did it beat walking everywhere in the cold? Absolutely. She even went into planes, not that she'd ever been on one. Her mother wasn't the travelling type. 

That got her really going, and she went into the wonders of hot showers and spa pools. 

"Your world sounds soft," Bull told her.

"We've definitely made things a lot more convenient for ourselves. Shot ourselves in the foot in other ways. Tell me what you like about this world." She asked them. "What stops you from blowing your brains out?"

"Friends," Sera said. "And making life difficult for those noble twats what think they own us all."

"Yeah, stick it to the man," Holli said, throwing up the rock-on sign. She was only being half sarcastic. 

Varric chuckled. "What?"

"Stick it to the man. Fuck authority," Holli explained. "That's something else I miss. People getting what I'm on about."

"Rebellious society you come from?"

"Some people are; some people aren't. Lots of different people. It's a big world. Almost eight billion, last I heard."

They stared at her, wide-eyed.

"Bullshit!" Sera shot out. "How would you even know that?"

"National census data," she replied. "There is like a one or two percent margin of error, of course."

"So what? Someone just goes around and counts you all up?"

"No, every ten years the census is done; we fill out forms about ourselves and the people we live with. It's collected and counted."

"Isn't that a little invasive?" Varric asked.

She hummed noncommittally. "It can help in a lot of ways. Monitors population growth and helps the government develop policies and public services. But our government is also shit, so it doesn't really seem like it's helping all that much."

"But fuck off, eight billion people? Is that even a real number?" Sera pressed.

"Yes?" 

Was eight billion really that difficult to comprehend for her?

Holli's eyes widened a fraction as she picked up her next card. The Angel of Death. She didn't think her hand was too bad; she had a chance to be winner if she played it now. Fuck it. Call it. 

She revealed her card, getting a disappointed tsk from Bull but a gleeful cackle from Sera. It was Varric who beat them all, though. 

"Holy shit, no way you didn't cheat," she said.

"But you didn't see me cheat, did you?"

She hadn't. Too distracted with their questions and her talking. Had that been the plan? But then, Varric hadn't been the one asking questions or doing the talking. For once. Maybe they were all in on it? No, she was being paranoid. 

"Another game?" She asked, keen to cement the rules of play into her mind. 

"All right. Want to deal?" He asked, offering the cards.

She nodded, accepting the cards with a challenging glint in her eye. Games did tend to bring out her competitive streak. 

Hopefully she wouldn't get too ugly about it. 

-

"Are the spirits of the Fade just dead people?" Holli asked Solas. 

They were outside of Havens walls for another magic lesson, Holli tossing a ball of flame from hand to hand. It didn't even burn if she didn't want it to.

"Some deceased do remain in the Fade for a time," he confirmed. 

"So mages who dream in the Fade could make contact with lost loved ones?"

"Not any mage. There are some—like myself—who can wander the Fade at will. But for most, they still dream; they just have more control of themselves in it."

Holli nodded thoughtfully, conjuring another ball of fire and juggling them with one hand. 

"Have you ever found someone you lost in the Fade?" She asked softly, not wanting to dredge up any sore spots but still too curious not to ask. 

"I have not," he replied. 

He'd found she had a tendency to ask questions that were rather difficult to answer truthfully. But he liked that her questions were born from curiosity, not malice and accusation. Just a desire to know. To slot it in with the vast wealth of knowledge she had started to accumulate since arriving in this world. 

"Do you have a mum?" She asked, before rolling her eyes. "I mean, is she alive? Of course you have a mum."

He let out an amused breath, just short of a chuckle. "No. No mother. Or father either, before you ask."

"Who taught you magic?"

He watched as she conjured a third ball of flame, juggling all three. 

"I've had many teachers," he replied.

"Why are all your answers sort of vague?"

"Would you feel better if I were to list name, race, and occupation?" He quirked a brow at her.

"Kind of."

"Why? You do not know them."

"Maybe I'd meet them one day. Then I could say, 'Hey, I know Solas; he taught me magic.' Then they could tell me all sorts of embarrassing stories from your childhood."

"As lovely a picture as you paint, the possibility of meeting them is so far removed from reality."

"Oh, the Fade?" She asked, a look of sympathy on her face. 

"The Fade is reality, Holli. Just not this one."

"Do you encounter many demons when you're in the Fade? Did they try to tempt you?"

She conjured a fourth ball and continued to juggle without missing a beat. Truly, a skill worthy of the Herald of Andraste.

"No more than a brightly coloured fruit is deliberately tempting you to eat it."

"Those slutty fruits..."

This time a chuckle did escape him at her unexpected words, which he smothered quickly. She caught it, though, casting him a beaming grin of accomplishment. He wasn't sure why she felt his amusement to be a challenge overcome. 

"I learnt how to defend myself from the more aggressive spirits and how to interact safely with the rest. The Fade can be a wondrous place with much to explore. But it reflects the world around it; to explore the Fade, you must explore here. It also reflects and is limited by our imaginations."

"How can I dream in the Fade?" She asked.

"Are you sure you're not already?"

"Pretty sure. Is there any way to tell?"

"It feels much like when you use your magic."

"Yeah, I don't think I'm dreaming in the Fade then."

"Strange. Let me ponder it for a while."

Holli nodded. 

"Now, tell me, did you spend time in a circus?"

"Hn. Nah, one of my distant cousins taught me at my nan's funeral when I was a kid. Well, the service afterwards."

"The control you're exercising over your magic is excellent."

Another beaming grin from her. He'd not seen someone use elemental magic in such a way in a very long time. Especially not fire. 

"You speak of your mother now and again, but I've not heard you mention your father," he noted.

"Never met him. He bailed when I was a baby."

There was a note to her tone, a buried hurt she was trying to play off with nonchalance.

"Apologies," he said. 

"All good; it wasn't you who abandoned me."

He saw her wince at the bitterness and resolved to change the subject.

Clearly this was a sore spot.