He Who Feels Guilt [Honkai: Star Rail]

Narrator's Pov

Cocolia sat silently on the ground, she was in a cell inside of Qlipoth Fort, what little remained of her severed arm was now bandaged instead of frozen, her eyes were slightly unfocused, like if she had a deep thought in her mind, her gaze went through the window in the cell, it had bars to stop her from leaving, of course, she still had some power and energy lingering in her...but the idea of trying to escape was something she wasn't looking forward to...she was tired, and heavy, like if a boulder was on her shoulders.

"You don't look good"

Her eyes looked at the middle of the cell, seeing the Aeon of Guilt staring down at her.

"Are you ready to talk?" Ryan asked through the mask with a stoic voice.

"Y-you..."

Cocolia tried to get up, her body slightly shaking, she managed to stand up from her sitting position but giving a few steps towards Ryan she simply stumbled and fell on one knee, her breathing got heavier for a few seconds before she calmed herself, looking up at Ryan, the Aeon simply looked down at her.

"It's too heavy..." Her voice came out as a soft whisper. "You're doing this"

"Your guilt was too little for you to understand how much wrong you've caused, I only heightened the weight on your heart" Ryan slowly got on one knee to be at Cocolia's eye level. "Now, let's start where we left off..."

"Has the Trial already started?" Cocolia slowly looked down at the ground.

"This is no trial, the Architects will not know about this" Ryan's hand slowly rose up, grabbing a hold of Cocolia's chin, tilting her head up he made the woman stare directly at the mask covering his face. "What was your goal?"

"To let the Stellaron erase this world, so a new, better one may rise." She replied almost immediately.

"And what would have been this new world?" Ryan's voice had a small speck of interest.

"It was beautiful, the world that the Stellaron had shown me, there was no conflict, no death, no sickness, only happiness and peace" her eyes slowly unfocused, but the grip on her chin loosened making her react as the Aeon slowly stood up.

"Then it was nothing but lies" after he stood up, Ryan looked through the window, being able to see the dark sky. "No world like that would or should ever exist"

"You don't know anything"

"For how long have you been under the Influence of the Stellaron?"

"Why do you feel the need to ask me here? Why not wait until my Trial?" Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked up at him.

"Because it won't matter what you say during your trial, you will be executed, but what you say right now...it might matter" he looked back at Cocolia. "Answer the question"

"...I'd been able to hear it ever since I took the position as Supreme Guardian, they were nothing but whispers at first, but then the dreams came, I saw a street full of life, children laughing and running, so many people were happy..." Cocolia slowly and steadily put herself together, straightening herself as she stood on her feet. "I gave it no actual thought at first, I had Serval investigate the phenomenon...then I took Bronya in, when I saw her, when I saw what she could become, I let the voices in"

"So you let the Stellaron take you, you started to listen to its voice and follow its orders"

"It was against what the architects stood for, preserve our home and lives till the end, I went against that belief and was decided to sacrifice all of this, so a new and better place would be born" she closed her eyes slowly. "That world full of beauty and peace stopped being just a dream, and became my goal"

"A world like that one would never exist, complete peace is impossible, there will always be something, someone, who will cause conflict"

"Humanity is like that...but Bronya, she would've been there to stop it...she was meant to be the mother of that world, the one who'd guide them and protect said peace"

"How long would've take for that world to destroy itself?"

"...what?"

"A world so Perfect would never go beyond itself, it'd never wish to become something more, one of humanity's biggest virtues...is their flaws, flaws that stop people from going forward, but those flaws also make their desires to be better ignite, if a perfect world reaches the sky, it'll stay there, but a flawed one will look for a way to pierce the sky and become something better"

"You see... these limitations as something good?" The woman gritted her teeth slightly.

"Not necessarily as something good...but they might be of more help than people might imagine" Ryan looked down at Cocolia and again got on one knee to be at her eye level. "Everyone is flawed, no one is perfect, no one will ever be perfect..."

"Not even you?...an Aeon?"

"I...might be a Aeon now, but I'm nowhere near of being as strong as the others, and I'm more flawed than you can imagine...Bronya, your daughter, she has flaws too, but unlike you, who tried to achieve perfection, will always look to be better, not only for herself, but for her people too, in time, she'll be a better Supreme Guardian than you could ever be..."

"...."

"You might never see it, but I'm sure Bronya will create a world much better than anything the Stellaron could ever show you...and deep down, I think you know it too"

"Leave..."

Under the mask, Ryan closed his eyes momentarily, before slowly turning around, turning his back against Cocolia.

"I ask you again, Cocolia...do you feel any guilt for your actions?"

"Leave me...please"

"The Stellaron is not here to cloud your thoughts anymore...it's not able to whisper to you and make you think that it's all for the greater good...you now feel the weight of all the wrong you did"

As he spoke, Cocolia slowly trembled, she tried to step towards him, but the weight on her shoulder seemed to get even heavier, making her fall forward, she ended up on her knees, trying to use her only arm to stop herself from completely hitting the ground.

"Stop this!"

"I haven't done anything, as much as I'd like to say I put more weight on you, that was all on you..." Turning around and bending down, he grabbed Cocolia's hair pulling on it to make the woman look at him. "Your guilt is getting worse because you don't want to acknowledge it"

"Make it stop!...please" she begged, her voice breaking slightly.

Ryan let her go, letting her fully fall to the floor, her body felt as if it was being forced against the ground with a huge boulder on her, the Aeon stood up and looked down at her before speaking.

"You'll stay like this, until you acknowledge what you're feeling and understand all the suffering you caused...I have nothing else to do here"

"Don't leave me like this..."

"At this point, you're the one who's forcing yourself in that situation..."

Cocolia tried to move all she could, to catch even a glimpse of the Aeon, maybe to beg, or to curse at him, but when she managed to move her head to look at him, he was already gone...she was completely alone.

...

"Madam Cocolia... it's time"

Bronya stood on the other side of the bars of the cell, looking at her mother a Silvermane Guard slowly opened the door.

Cocolia didn't seem to listen to what her daughter had said, her eyes simply looking at the opposite wall in front of her, her back resting against the wall behind her while her breathing came out softly but tired.

Bronya burrowed her brows slightly, entering the cell, she stopped in front of Cocolia and looked down at her, some pity in her eyes as she stared at the state of her mother.

"Mother..."

Cocolia twitched slightly, looking up at Bronya, the girl recoiled slightly, the woman's eyes were completely dull, some stains on her face showing she had probably cried for some time, the woman slowly stood up, her eyes staring directly at Bronya who simply let out a short sigh.

"I've come to personally take you to the courtroom...follow me, please"

Bronya slowly walked out of the cell, looking back at Cocolia who stood silently for a few seconds before starting to walk behind her, the current Supreme Guardian simply let out a small sigh, and silently walked, her mother following her closely, Bronya didn't want to let her guard down, but she doubted her mother was in a state where she could so something, for some reason, she looked like if she was on the verge of death...

"Mother...what happened to you?" Bronya asked with a soft voice as she momentarily stopped walking, looking at her mother, who simply kept herself silent. "...we'll present you with all your chargers, after all witnesses give their own descriptions of the events and you defend yourself, the Architects and I will decide your fate-"

"I know how it works, Bronya..." Cocolia replied with her voice coming out almost as a whisper.

"...I apologize"

Eventually, Bronya stopped in front of a double door, she inhaled deeply before sighing softly, she rose her hands and opened the doors, entering the room with Cocolia behind her.

The blonde woman's dull eyes looked at the insides of the room, it wasn't her first time inside, but it was definitely the first time she entered as a criminal instead of as Supreme Guardian, her gaze managed to see the people in the room, the outsiders who stopped her, who were now accompanied by an adult man, she saw Gepard, standing guard alongisde the Architects who would decide on her fate, and between those Architects...Cocolia saw Serval, sitting among the Architects, her eyes looking at her with a mix of sadness and pity.

Cocolia's gaze rested on Ryan for a few seconds, the Aeon was in his normal form and sat beside the outsiders, she then looked forward and walked to the center of the room, looking slightly up towards the curved table where the Architects sat, Bronya, slowly walked around said table and took her seat in the middle of them, staring down at Cocolia.

"Cocolia Rand, Former Supreme Guardian, you're here on trial for attempting to destroy Belobog using the dangerous artifact known as 'Stellaron' " one of the Architects spoke rising his voice slightly. "Commiting Treason towards the beliefs of the Architects and plot the destruction of our home is a serious crime"

"I understand why I am here" Cocolia spoke towards the architects.

"After learning of your treason, we've also discovered old records and evidence of you purposely sabotaging the Frontline..." Another Architect spoke this time, making Cocolia close her eyes for a few seconds before opening them.

"There's also the expulsion of Serval Landau from the architects, after she started to get close to the Stellaron" this time Bronya spoke, making Serval silently wince at her words.

"Architects, with all due respect, there's no need for this trial" Cocolia looked at the architects before closing her eyes. "I know what I've done, I understand the suffering I've caused...now, I have to live what remains of my life with Guilt over my actions"

The room suddenly got quiet at the woman's words, Bronya burrowed her brows slightly, Serval let out a small sigh while the trailblazers simply stared in silence, though Stelle clearly threw a small glance towards Ryan...who was looking directly at the woman.

"All of you, you can take your choice now", Cocolia looked at the architects with her dull eyes.

"If you will not defend yourself....then there's no need for this" Bronya slowly stood up from her seat. "Cocolia Rand, for your plotting and treason, you will be sentenced to death and will be executed in 6 system hours...you will remain in your cell until then, we'll send someone to write down your final meal..."

"I have no desire for a final meal..." Cocolia's voice rose slightly. "But I have a wish"

"Cocolia, you're in no position of asking anything" Serval growled lowly towards her past friend.

"....we can't ignore the good you've done in the surface" Bronya spoke, seriously looking at Cocolia. "We will hear you wish, but I can't guarantee you it'll be possible"

Cocolia stayed silent after her daughter spoke, closing her eyes she stood still for a few seconds before opening back her eyes and looking at the Architects, her eyes now showing some life instead of the previous dull color, she then opened her mouth...and spoke her wish.

"I wish to serve the Aeon of Guilt"

The room fell silent, the architects shared a confused look, Serval slowly looked towards Bronya, whose gaze immediately went towards the outsiders, specifically Ryan, who seemed to be in quite a shock before he decided to speak.

"...what?"

★ ★ ★

A/N: I don't know what's better(worse), updating before sleeping, or updating 5 minutes after I woke up, again, I feel the chapter kinda mid, anyways I'm gonna go have breakfast now, I'm sleepy af

Hope you enjoyed