chapter 19
19 Adult Composure
The elementary school building was near the sea, and whenever the wind blew on the hardened ground of the escalator-style school, there was a scent of the sea.
Although it’s a downside of the escalator system, it still feels boring that there’s no change in the faces of my classmates.
It seems that there are a few more external transfer students compared to the kindergarten, but the majority are still from the escalator system. Introducing myself to these familiar faces was somewhat awkward.
My goal in elementary school is to “not stand out.”
Drawing attention is not good. If someone who attracts attention among my classmates, naturally, will also be “watched” by the “enemy.”
The “enemy”… a threat that must inevitably exist in this world, whose outline I have yet to grasp.
There must be an “enemy” in the world I was reincarnated into. It could be a person, a social system, a phenomenon, or perhaps the majority calling me the “enemy.”
—
There is no world without enemies, and the enemy will surely threaten my life at some point.
Having experienced it a million times, there is no way that this time will be any different.
And what I have learned in a million lives is that “it is a failure to confront the enemy.”
Of course, I seek victory – but victory does not mean “confronting and defeating the enemy.” Victory for me is “living out my natural lifespan.”
The best way to achieve that is to “not fight.”
Be unnoticed. Remain unnoticed. Live a life like a shadow – that is the lifestyle I desire.
However, in elementary school, I ended up attracting attention.
I am completely unfamiliar with this situation and only bewildered. It seems that I am attracting attention because I am “capable.”
“Capable.” In other words, whether it’s studying, exercising, or something else. In other words, it means being “excellent,” but I have no idea how it happened at all.
Because, you know, my life has always been unfortunate. I have never had abilities above average. I have never achieved any results through effort, and I often didn’t even know how to make an effort.
That’s why, thinking that “if I give it my all, I might be a little below average,” I challenged the first test after enrollment and ended up getting a perfect score, ranking first in the grade.
I thought this was bad and tried to fail at something.
Ideally, I wanted to get a bad grade on the next test and make people think, “The first time was just luck,” but the next test hasn’t come yet.
So I tried to fail in every way possible. In sports, or in behavior. I tried to fail. I know that failing is the right thing to do, so I tried to do that.
But every time I failed, my classmate Sheila would say.
“I beat Rex!”
I didn’t win! I’m intentionally failing!
No, but I should hold back. That’s right, I don’t want to be at the top. The goal is to live a long life without standing out.
Sheila. Hmph, just a six-year-old. Victory? Fine, I’ll give it to you. I don’t care about that. Hmph. Adults have their own composure. Don’t underestimate my mental age after a million reincarnations.
“Rex isn’t anything special!”
What did you say, you brat!
Don’t make fun of me just because you’re six years old!
Even a five-year-old can do it!!!
I got serious.
I ranked first in the next test too.
I did it.