Harry Potter:Bonds of Hope

Chapter 8: Lost…

TW: There is a death in this chapter, that is done by form of euthanasia. Sorry.

I hope you enjoy the chapter though.

Harry was lying on the bed, Draco snoozing on his chest, Harry's hand gently rubbing his tiny smooth back. He looked up at Severus who was sitting beside them, clearly lost in painful thoughts. Harry didn't know what to do to help him. He wasn't good in situations like this, at least, he didn't think so. He hadn't ever really been in a situation quite like this.

"Sev," Harry said quietly, but it was enough to make Severus jump into looking at him, "I… I know it is stupid to ask but are you okay? Do you need anything? What do you need?"

Severus smiled at him slightly, though his eyes were scrunched in pain.

"I will be okay, Harry, I just… I don't… She is my best friend, a sister in all but blood, and I… I know that there wasn't much I could do. Logically, I know that. All I could do was heal them when I could and knew that something had happened. But I just feel like I've failed them both so much… Draco was being tortured by other students and I didn't know… I just… I think I just need some time," Severus said, both nervous and somewhat uncomfortable, not really used to sharing his feelings with anyone, other than Narcissa, and Lily.

But Narcissa was dying and Lily was dead.

"It's not your fault, Sev. You did what you could for them," Harry said, "I don't know how they feel… or felt… but I'd imagine that knowing they had you there to support them and help them as much as you were able with your vow. They would have loved that they had someone who loved them and cared enough to want to help them. At least, that is how I would have felt… All I wanted was for someone to care about me, to love me. Even if I couldn't escape it would have meant the world to know that someone actually gave a shit, and wanted to help me, even if all they could do was heal me,"

"Hmm," Severus hummed in understanding, but he still looked guilty, and a whole other mix of emotions, "I just… I don't want to lose her. I don't want Draco to lose her either. I know we are his parents now, but… She should be part of his life also. She won't get the chance to live a peaceful, safe life. I'm a smart man, I should have been able to get them out of there. I should have been able to work my way around the vow to protect them from him. But I didn't. I couldn't. No matter how I tried,"

"If you had been able to save them, to save Draco, would this Bond still have happened? This Bond that gives us the chance to have the pure happiness and love that we have all wanted for so long? I wish that Draco never got to experience any of the horrors he did, and we know that he has experienced the same pain as us, and that means I know just what he has been through, and you. But if he had been saved earlier, would this have happened? I'm not saying that he should have been through it for the Bond, he shouldn't have been through it at all. But we have a chance to make things right now. To give him the childhood he deserved, and to be happy ourselves. To prove to ourselves that what we've been through hasn't damaged us,

"I know that none of us should have been through the things we did, but… I also can't help but think that it was meant to happen. This Bond. I mean, they called us soulmates, right? So were we soulmates before the Bond was created, or just after? And Draco… It's weird but even though I had to pretend to hate him, I never could. I felt connected to him in a way that I couldn't explain, still can't really. But it was almost the way I am connected to him now. Maybe… Maybe in some weird, messed up way, this was meant to happen. I already feel stronger, despite the pain I am in physically. My magic feels more powerful, and I just know, somehow, that it will get stronger as the Bond gets stronger. Maybe this is what I need to defeat Voldemort since everyone seems to believe I am the only one who can,

"I… I'm not happy that we were all hurt in the ways that we were. But I am happy that I get to share this Bond with you both. This life. The life I always dreamed of but never thought I would be able to see it. I have a family now. We have a family now. I know that we are still in pain, but we will mend those cracks together. We will do everything together. And we can overcome everything, everyone, together,"

Severus smiled sadly at him and stroked his cheek gently.

"I'm happy about the Bond, too, Harry. I just… It hurts that I wasn't able to help them the way I should have been able to. But you are right. I have felt more connected to you both than anyone else. This must have been… something. And even though I abhor all our pasts, I know that this is our chance to heal. Truly heal. Together," Severus said.

"Together," Harry whispered.

The moment was lost with a hurried pounding on the door and Healer Greyclaw, King Ragnok, Amelia, and Kingsley rushing into the room. Harry sat up as Healer Greyclaw conjured a single bed next to his and Kingsley gently placed an injured Narcissa on it, moving away to allow the healer to do her work. Severus shot up from the bed and made his way over to his friend, sitting next to her and running his fingers gently through her hair as he looked down at her and she looked up at him with tears streaming down her sickly cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Cissa," Severus whispered as he tried to control his own tears.

"Not your fault, Sev," she croaked, coughing slightly and Harry couldn't help but cringe at the little bit of blood that dribbled down her chin. His heart ached as he watched Severus and Narcissa.

"I should have done something,"

"You did everything you could without killing yourself, Sev. We would be much worse off without you. We wouldn't have anyone to heal us after his sessions. Anyone to care. To look after us. We needed you alive, Sev," she coughed again, and more blood erupted, "He's been arrested," she whispered, a small smile lighting her face.

"And he will be punished, I promise," Severus said.

"I know. They have evidence this time," more blood came out as she wheezed, "You are going to be a great dad, Sev. You already were,"

"I certainly hope I will be,"

"You will. And Harry will be a wonderful mother. You will be happy,"

"I hope we will be happy,"

"You will be. Draco will be,"

"We will try,"

"He will have a good childhood this time,"

"You're a wonderful mother, Cissa,"

"Not as good as I should have been, wanted to be,"

Narcissa had a seizure and Harry watched in shock and pain as Severus gently rolled her onto her side and held her as she bled, tears slipping out of his eyes quietly as he held his friend.

The seizure ended and Narcissa sobbed painfully, Severus continued to hold her, though.

"Kill me, Sev,"

You could have heard a pin drop.

"Cissa, I-"

"Please," she pleaded, tears straining her voice.

"I can't just…"

"Please. I can't d-do this anymore. It hurts. I am ready to die. I a-am dying,"

Severus looked at Kingsley and Amelia for help.

"You can, Severus. That was one of the options we were going to give her. We won't arrest you for it," Amelia said, but that wasn't the answer Severus wanted and Harry could tell from the anguish clear on his face as he turned to look back at his sister.

"Sev, please,"

Severus looked at Harry and the pain in those dark eyes stung Harry's heart as he got up from the bed and went over to his hurting mate and the woman who used to be the mother of their son. He sat next to Severus and placed Draco on the bed next to Narcissa so she could see him, he smiled sadly as she reached out a hand to rest on his stomach. He could see the love and pain deep in her pale eyes as she looked at Draco.

"It's okay, Sev," Harry whispered, placing his hand on Severus', "I know it will hurt you to do it. But she is safe now. She is with family. And it is either a quick death, with less pain, or a longer, painful death. If this is what Narcissa wants, if she is ready, then it is okay. You won't be hurting her. You will be saving her from her pain. I know it will hurt, but we are all here to help you with it. Narcissa doesn't deserve her pain being drawn out. And neither do you,"

Severus looked to be fighting a war within himself as he looked from Harry, to Narcissa, to Draco. Harry wished he could help him, wished he didn't have to be going through this. But it wasn't much use. Wishing was hopeless in situations like this one. There was nothing he could do. He felt utterly useless.

"N… I…"

"Sev," Narcissa whimpered, curling in on herself in pain.

"Okay," he whispered, drawing his wand out and shakily pointing it at her.

"I l-love you, Sev,"

"I love you, too," his voice wavered in a way Harry had never heard from him before, he steeled himself with a deep breath, "Avada Kedavra,"

The green light from Harry's memories lit the path between the wand and Narcissa and the sound of her rattling breaths quietened to nothing.

Everything was still for many moments.

Severus stared at his wand in horror before looking at his dearest friend.

A strangled sob escaped the older man and Harry leant into him, hoping to provide comfort.

There was definitely a strengthening tingle of something… magic between them.

And it was getting stronger, fast.