Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

"Oh, and just so you know, a basilisk is the only creature that could do that to the camera. Yet further proof Dumbledore knew the monster was a basilisk.

"Which then brings us to Lockhart's aborted Duelling Club. The first and only meeting of that club. The one where it became known, even to me, that I'm a parselmouth.

"Watch what happened."

The next memory showed the duel between Harry and Malfoy, with the ponce using Serpensortia to conjure a snake - a Black Mamba - one of the most deadliest snakes known to man; Lockhart's stupidity in enraging it; its moving to attack Justin Finch-Fletchley; Harry unknowingly using parseltongue to stop it and everyone's reaction to it.

"Now, here we see a simple example of the stupidity of wizards and witches," explained Memory-Harry. "Wizard logic: Harry Potter is shown to be a parselmouth, everyone knows that Voldemort was a parselmouth, Voldemort was evil, therefore Harry Potter must be evil. It completely ignores the fact that Merlin was a parselmouth, so was Paracelsus, and parselmouths are revered in other parts of the world because parseltongue magic is proven to be best suited to healing magic - think Paracelsus and his works.

"Using that same logic we must accept that Minerva McGonagall's animagus form is a dog. Using the same Wizard logic: Minerva McGonagall's animagus form has four legs and a tail, everyone knows dogs have four legs and a tail, therefore Minerva McGonagall's animagus form is a dog. Stupidity, dressed as common sense, is still stupidity!

"For those who do not know what I told that very venomous Black Mamba, I told it to stop and not attack. That's why it backed off! What was I playing at, Finch-Fletchley? I was saving your naffing life, you moron!

"That then led to almost the whole school turning against me. I was being bullied left, right and centre.

"Now, bullying is a crime in the non-magical world. But, by the actions of the staff of Hogwarts, that does not appear to be the case in magical Britain. Every single one of the students - apparently except for Hermione, Ron and the Weasley twins - forgot I was laid up all night in the Infirmary when Creevey was attacked only a couple days earlier; so, it could not have been me. Hell, pretty much the lot of you saw Fraudhart vanish the bones out of my arm and that it would mean I'd be in the Infirmary. Idiots!

"Within a day of the fiasco of the duelling club, Finch-Fletchley is attacked and petrified. He's the second student to have been done so. It's now three days before the Christmas break.

"Of course, because it's the day after it's discovered I'm a parselmouth and I'm clearly now a Dark Lord, everyone pretty much accuses me of doing it. The bullying ratchets down, but now people are scared of me.

"Things go as you would think for the next few months. Then, in early May, Hermione and Penny Clearwater are attacked and petrified. Immediately afterwards, Lucy Malfoy somehow convinces by unanimous decision of the School Board to have Dumbledore removed as Headmaster.

"And, at the same time, Malfoy also convinces Fudge to have Hagrid carted off to Azkaban. His reason? He has to be seen to be doing something.

"That's three major events all on the same day, so let's visit them one at a time. First, the petrification of Hermione and the Clearwater lass finally has everyone believing I'm not the one who's doing the petrifying. It could be because I was down at the Quidditch pitch for the entire time in front of a great many people, who could all provide me alibis; or, it could be because no one would believe I'd attack my best friend, Hermione; or a combination of both. Frankly, I didn't and don't care one way or the other. It, at least, stopped the bullying and fear of me. It's a pity they didn't think about where I was when Creevey was attacked.

"The second was the sacking of Dumbledore. Later, after what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, I learned that it seems Lucy Malfoy extorted the rest of the School Board to go along with him in sacking Dumbledore as Headmaster. Frankly, I really don't give a toss about that, but you might want to look into it, Madam Bones.

"And the third was Hagrid getting carted off to Azkaban. Now, I'm not a lawyer, I'm not a legislator and I'm not a law enforcement official. However, it really gets in my craw how a person can be sent to Azkaban without even the decency of a trial. In the non-magical United Kingdom, from whence wizarding Britain was born, it is a breach of the Magna Carta to do such. And the Magna Carta was enshrined in law before magical Britain effectively seceded from the non-magical United Kingdom. As such, unless the Wizengamot has overturned the Magna Carta since seceding, then it is still law.

"So, if that is the case, then the Minister broke one of the founding precepts of modern law by having Hagrid incarcerated without a trial. To me, he kidnapped the man; and was aided and abetted by Lucy Malfoy in the act.

"You might want to look into that, too, Madam Bones. But, please don't take this as a direction on my part; only a suggestion."

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―==(oIo)==―

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Up in the VIP box, Madam Bones muttered, "Oh, don't worry about that, Mister Potter. I fully intend to."

She glanced to her left at the Minister and quietly said, "You and I will be having a long talk too, Minister."

Fudge, already worried, blanched and started to sweat.

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