Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

He was about to ask Hermione to rewrite it so all the crossed out and moved sections were rectified when he realised he had to write it because it had to be in his hand.

He had her make a start on writing up paragraphs for the second letter on one sheet, while he wrote paragraphs of another section on another sheet.

Having a bit of a brainwave, he called, "Dobby."

"Yes, Master Harry?"

"Do I own, or do you know where I can buy, a Dicta-quill?" he asked.

"Dobby be goings to check Potter vaults," declared the elf before it popped away.

Even though both teens were 'antsy' about the success of Harry's plan that began its practical component that night. Once it was decided to go ahead, Harry began to calm down while Hermione's worry ratcheted up.

"Hermione," he tried, when he saw her worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Hunh?" she asked.

"The decision is made," he said. "I know you're worried, but the time for worry is now past. I'm as confident as I can be that this will succeed."

With a pop, Dobby returned. "There be no Dicta-quills in Potter vaults, Master Harry," replied the elf. "But Dobby be knowings where he can borrow one."

His expression turning into a smirk, Harry asked, "And do the current owners know you'll be borrowing one?"

"Theys will not be knowings Dobby be borrowings one if Dobby can gets it back to thems today," replied the elf, confidently.

Giving a snort of amusement, Harry said, "Fair enough. However, I don't want to borrow it, just yet... Actually, yes; go get it."

"Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I'll dictate the main body of the letter, the history, as a statement, Hermione," he replied. "That way I can get it done in time. Otherwise, I don't think I can tell them everything they need to know before the time chamber activates."

"What do you consider everything they need to know?" she asked.

"Everything I know about what's going on," he firmly replied. "I will not keep anything from them."

When Dobby popped back a short while later, because of recent experience in watching one set up and used, Harry quickly had it set up and working.

With a nod of satisfaction, he erected a muffling charm about himself and the quill, closed his eyes to get his thoughts in order and began to firmly speak. It took almost two hours and he ended up with over sixteen feet of Dicta-quill filled parchment.

Somewhere along the line, Dobby had kept him supplied with tea. But his throat was still a little hoarse by the end of it.

Stopping the quill he turned to Hermione and asked, "How'd your part go?"

Sliding over what she'd done, Harry realised she'd decided to write the letter as a separate document to the statement Harry made. The statement would then be an 'attachment' to the letter.

With a nod and a smile back he said, "Good idea."

Folding both into envelopes and writing just the addressee's name on both, Hermione called, "Dobby."

"Yes, Miss-tress Herm'nee?"

Holding both letters out to him, she asked, "Can you please deliver both these to Lord Black at the Tonkses Home?"

"Yes, Mistress Herm'nee," he replied with a short bob, taking the letter and popping away.

Turning to Harry she said, "As you said, faster than an owl. And there's a certain level of urgency for this."

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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Because he was busy dictating his message, Harry didn't have time to cook dinner that night as 'cheffy' as he wanted. So, in the end, he just went for fast and tasty - Fish 'n' Chips - always a good British staple because it was quick and easy to prepare.

However, he did dress it up quite a bit with Dobby's help. This 'Fish 'n' Chips' for chips included normal potato, sweet potato and carrot sticks. And the fish included sole, squid rings, onion rings, little chunks of octopus and crab sticks; all battered. Adding to that went a light tossed salad, a vinaigrette for the salad and home-made tartare sauce for the fish.

Dessert was a simple bread and butter pudding.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

As dinner wound down Monica asked the two what they 'got up to' during the day.

"Well," said Hermione, with a slight smirk on her lips. "We spent quite a bit of it going through the Potter family documents; which we're now more than halfway through."

With her smirk widening, she added, "And Harry determined just after lunch that he has been, as he puts it..."

Harry groaned and hung his head.

"... 'Infected with the wizarding daft moron virus'!" And laughed.

Watching her daughter laugh as Harry hung his head in apparent shame, Monica smirked and asked, "And what led him to believe that?"

"Because I completely forgot about something in the wizarding world that is as obvious as the sun rises in the east," replied Harry, as Hermione continued to chuckle.

With a sigh he explained, "The wizarding world needs groceries, right?"

With a confused frown, Monica nodded back.

"Therefore, there has to be a shop to buy them from, right?"

Nod.

"However, there is not a grocery shop, or any similar shop, in Diagon Alley."

Nod.

"So, how do wizards and witches buy groceries?"

"Those with house elves send the house elves to do the shopping," replied one of the aurors. "Those without use a mail order system. For urgent needs, there's a small store in Godric's Hollow that accepts both wizarding and muggle currency."

"Uh-huh," said Harry. "I didn't know about the second part, but I did realise about the first only today. That was my 'daft moron' realisation moment.

"Instead of having to go and do the grocery shopping myself, having to convert wizarding currency to muggle currency ahead of time just to shop, I... finally figured out I could have had Dobby doing the shopping for me using wizarding currency."

Wendell gave a snort of amusement but otherwise kept quiet.

"According to Dobby, there is a large grocery store run by squibs where the elves can do the shopping on behalf of their masters and mistresses. It just never occurred to me that was the likely answer; when it should have, because I know damned well there is no way someone like Narcissa Malfoy, for instance, would be caught dead in a grocery store."

That had the table laughing or chuckling away.

Chuckling, Wendell said, "Well, it's good to know the Great Harry Potter, Sir, is as mortal as the rest of us."

Harry just groaned as the table laughed.

"That's a good thing to now know anyway, Harry," said Hermione.

"Hunh?" he asked.

"What do you think is going to be the reaction when someone like Lucius Malfoy finds out the food they eat is bought from squibs?" she asked. "And that it's the same food eaten by 'dirty' muggles?"

That surprised the table. Harry gawped at her. "Hermione! That's evil!"

"That's something I'll fire back at Malfoy the younger if he ever gets snotty with me again," she smirked.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed with glee. "I wonder if Hogwarts buys their food from the same store, or even one very similar.

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