Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

"Oh, and just so you know, I never did get sent to the Infirmary to have Madam Pomfrey take a look at the basilisk bite. Obviously, Albus Dumbledore is that brilliant a wizard he never had to take even the apprenticeship for healing to be determined a fully qualified master healer. And, even then, didn't need to inspect the wound to declare me fit and healed.

"Albus Dumbledore, at the time, claimed himself to be my magical guardian, Madam Bones," said Memory-Harry, looking as if he was facing the VIP table in the stands. "That he knew I'd been injured by a bite that kills, and never did anything about it, is a crime. It's neglect of a child under your care. As Professor McGonagall is supposed to be my Head of House, the same charge could be levelled against her. The same charge could also be levelled against both of them for the professor-student relationship."

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―==(oIo)==―

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Up in the VIP section, Madam Bones muttered, "Already noted, Mister Potter."

Outside the champions' tent, but between it and the gate into the arena, Barty Crouch Junior, Polyjuiced as Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, was getting quite worried. As far as he was concerned, Potter was taking his own sweet time in getting his egg and being done with it. Now, he had to wait him out; just like everyone else was doing. His problem was, he was quickly running out of on-hand Polyjuice and he had no idea just what Harry was doing.

Moody's anti-poison potion flask, that he now used to carry around the Polyjuice potion, was too small to carry more than about ninety minutes worth. That time was rapidly approaching and he was almost out.

His problem: He couldn't leave before Potter did or it would look suspicious.

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―==(oIo)==―

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Back in the arena, while Real-Harry continued to lounge on the lounger while pretending to read a book, Memory-Harry was ready to move on.

"It's now another summer at Durzkaban - where I was worked harder than a house elf. When not forced to work I was locked into my room with bars on the window, fed insufficient food to feed a three year old through a cat-flap in the bottom of the door and... well... you get the idea. Vernon's sister, whom I unlovingly refer to as 'Marge the Barge', pays her somewhat annual visit.

"Marge the Barge has a pet supposedly prize-winning bulldog named Ripper. She's trained it to attack me pretty much on sight. I have the scars on my lower legs to prove it.

"During dinner - which, though I cooked, I was not allowed to partake of it much - The Barge just kept insulting my parents. She, the fat obnoxious bitch that she is, claimed that my father was a drunk who should have been locked away long before I was even born, and my mother should have been put to death because she was obviously unable to breed anything worthwhile. No second guesses for who she meant by breed.

"And, from that, I had one of the strongest bouts of accidental magic I've ever had. I caused her to inflate like a balloon. She drifted out the door and away into the night.

"Of course, I knew what would happen if I remained. Or, at least I thought I did. The first part would be my fat uncle again attempting to beat me to death. The second, would be ignorant naffwits from the Ministry turning up to snap my wand.

"So, I fled. Both in fear of my life and fear of losing the only part of my life that mattered - my life in the wizarding world.

"I quickly grabbed my cloak, my school trunk and the very few and meagre muggle possessions I own, plus Hedwig's cage. Hedwig's my owl. I sent her off telling her to find me later. And, dragging my trunk down the stairs and out the front door as quickly as I could, I took off into the night.

"Accidentally, I summoned the Knight Bus and used that to go to the Leaky Cauldron. There, I met for the first time Cornelius Fudge. How the Hell he knew that would be where I was heading, I have no clue. But, he clearly did.

"He told me I wasn't in trouble for what had happened, but I was to stay at the Leaky for the remainder of summer. He mentioned something about Black, but I was so relieved not to have to return to the Hell that was the Dursleys I wasn't really paying as much attention as I should.

"The big advantage of staying at the Leaky, though, was I now had weeks to stay in the wizarding world without the constant threat of Dumbledore watching every move I made. And I made very good use of the time.

"The next day after arriving at the Leaky I went directly to Gringotts. And there I learned just how much of a thief Dumbledore was. And just why he was making such a big effort to keep me away from the wizarding world when not at Hogwarts, and clueless of my true heritage.

"From the goblins I learned the so-called Leader of the Light was, in fact, my Ministry-appointed magical guardian. It was the first time I'd been told.

"Yet another question: Why didn't anyone tell me before that? Apparently all the teaching staff of Hogwarts knew, as did all the sitting members of the thrice-damned Wizengamot of November 1981, plus everyone who read the Daily Prophet of the next day. And not one of them bothered to let me know Albus 'He-Who-is-Above-the-Law' Dumbledore was my magical guardian? Really? Personally, I find that both hard to believe and suspect magical compulsions not to tell me, in play.

"From the goblins I learned the old bastard was then using that authority to drain the Potter accounts dry. I learned of my parents' wills - which Dumbledore, using his authority as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, had sealed - and their express wishes for dispensation of their assets and me. They were blatantly ignored.

"I learned that my true and rightful magical guardian, the one who swore the Godfather's Oath before both my parents and Dumbledore himself, was in fact Sirius Black. The same Sirius Black who had been thrown into Azkaban, without even a naffing trial, at the express orders of then Minister Bagnold, Director of the DMLE Bartemius Crouch Senior and - you guessed it - Albus frigging Dumbledore!

"Are you starting to see a pattern here? I bet not."

"It quickly became obvious to me Dumbledore wanted Sirius out of the way so he had control of me and my assets. However, by this time I was not surprised at just what Dumbledore seemed to be up to. You'll learn more of just what steps Dumbledore is, or was, willing to go in a little while.

"Oh - and, Madam Bones - I have the full goblin-certified records of everything to hand to you once I'm finished here. Have no fear of that."

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―==(oIo)==―

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Up in the VIP box, Dumbledore closed his eyes, groaned and slumped his shoulders forward.

Amelia Bones viciously grinned at his back. The young Mister Potter, whatever his reasons, had just well and truly destroyed Dumbledore's reputation. The old man would be very lucky to escape a period of long term incarceration in Azkaban for this. Merlin, she thought the boy was leading up to evidence that would see the old codger forcefully tossed through the Veil.

He also seemed to be destroying not a few other reputations, while he was at it. Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Pomona Sprout, Severus Snape and Rubeus Hagrid would also be answering rather direct and pointed questions of their own roles; especially McGonagall and Hagrid.

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