NOVEL NEXT Chapter 4: The Isle of Skye
r/amitheasshole
u/lemondropenthusiast
I (M143) am a well respected headmaster at a private school for the thaumaturgically gifted in the Scottish Highlands. About ten years ago, I was a general in a private army known as the Order of the Phoenix, facing down against the dread forces of the Dark Lord V. Two of our members (F21 and M21) were slain by V himself, only for V to try to kill their child H (at the time M1) and be turned into a spirit. Said child thus fulfills the requirements of a prophecy of a boy with the power to vanquish V.
Now said child is going to be a student at my school and I have the most devilishly clever plan to lure V into a confrontation with him. I'm going to borrow the Philosopher's Stone from my good friends N and P F and place it into an artifact known as the Mirror of Erised. Then I'll place the mirror behind a series of obstacles that a first year can get through and then subtly plant clues for H that the Stone is in danger, thereby luring him into a confrontation is V. My only worry is that this plan makes too much sense.
But apparently my deputy headmistress and friend MM thinks this is an insane plan worthy of a "stark raving megalomaniac, seriously A, it's time for you to get your noggin checked! Are you pointing your wand at me? Are you seriously going to wipe my memory?! What were we talking about again?"
But what does she know? Reddit, harken: Am I the asshole for wanting to give a child the gift all orphan children want, the chance to confront their parents' murderer? And, honestly, the kid's going to have to die eventually, so this'd really wrap everything up in a neat little package, am I right?
COMMENTS
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humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa2: YTA! What the hell, man?! You shouldn't even be a headmaster if you're going to keep a valuable artifact in your school as bait for a dark lord! Also, I'm sure this is just a story, but if you really do believe any of this, you need serious mental help.
10000thunderingtyphoons: Y. T. A. If you run a school, you have a responsibility to your students. If I were this student of yours, I would run away screaming from you.
themanbeforethemanbeforemacbeth: YTA! Setting aside the obvious moral implications, what happens if V gets away with the Stone? Immortality and infinite riches, seems like a recipe for disaster. Is this really how you want to honor your fallen colleagues' sacrifice?
greatergoodenthusiast1: NTA. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.
Thank you, greatergoodenthusiast1! I agree completely and thank you, Reddit, for your sage advice. I will go ahead with the plan.
......
Welcome back, people with PHDs and people without PHDs, to the Potter Zone. And, boy, has the plot ever thickened. Seriously, it's like smog level thick IMHO. First of all, I think Uncle Vernon has gone off his rocker…but for once – and I cannot believe I am saying this – it's hard to blame him. Shit's gotten weird, folks.
First off, Vernon made Dudley get the mail the next day. You heard that right. Dudley did a chore. The end has got to be nigh. And lo and behold, there was another letter. Same type of letter, same people. I tried to sneak out of my room the next morning to get the post before any of my so-called family could get it. Vernon was sleeping outside my room in a sleeping bag and I stepped on him.
Then Vernon sealed the mail slot shut, so the mail couldn't get in. Sensible, I suppose. Until we don't get our bills and get evicted, but that's a later problem, right? Except Vernon was wrong, because the damn letters were everywhere on Friday. Vernon boarded up all the cracks around the house so nothing could get in. And then the next day, they were in the bloody eggs. How, you might ask, could they fit in there? I do not know, but I really want to find out.
I am really starting to believe something otherworldly is going on. My new theory? Aliens. I am probably an alien hybrid or just a plain alien left at the Dursleys for…I don't know. Some sort of strange extraterrestrial purpose. The point is, physics are starting to go out the window with the eggs put in through the window and the letters inside said eggs.
And now it's Sunday and the letters just flooded down the chimney. Vernon says we're going to the Isle of Skye where no one will find us there. I kind of doubt it. At least I hope I'm wrong. Because you know what? I really, really want to know what's in those letters.
COMMENTS
daughter_of_dentists: Oh, Harry, I think you're going to be very, very pleased at what's in those letters. Oh, by the way, my parents are in the Isle of Skye for a dentist convention – if you see them, give them a wave!
Yes, if I run into random dentists in the middle of nowhere, I will be sure to do that, miss. Seriously, how would I know what your parents look like?
..........
It has been a wild ride, folks. We traveled at a very rapid pace today. Vernon's completely off his rocker – even Dudley can see it – but it didn't do him any good, because when we stopped at a hotel in Cokeworth, you know what happened? Letters. Yeah, someone wants to get in touch with me bad. Still don't know who it is, but sooner or later, they'll get tired of sending letters and send people.
Vernon eventually took us to this isolated island in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and then we left the Isle of Skye and went to an even more isolated island to stay in some hut. Except as it turned out, we weren't the only ones who'd booked it! That duplicitous toothless fiend who claimed to be the ferryman must have double booked us!
Well, the couple already staying there couldn't have been nicer about it, despite the Dursleys being total jerks the whole time. They must have been Russian, because they had this incredibly strong accent and they kept offering us some vodka. Mr. and Mrs. Greyndzher told us they were humble tourists with no espionage connections whatsoever, and, you know what, I believed them. They had honest faces. And, sure, there was some guy screaming in agony in the closet and blood pouring through the bottom of the door slowly, but hey, not my circus, not my monkeys.
Anyway, this speedboat showed up and there was a bit of a bother with both the driver and Vernon pointing guns at each other, but the Greyndzhers got everyone to stand down and they left with their friend and all was well. Oh, yeah, something strange did happen: they bid me farewell with my first name. But I'm sure I must have told them in the midst of all the shouting and I forgot. It was a stressful situation; it isn't every day I ended up in a Mexican standoff.
So here I am. On my birthday. Waiting for my life to change. Praying that I'll find out what those letters are all about. Wondering what possessed my parents to give me up to these creatures. Got to go! There's someone knocking at the door.
COMMENTS
daughter_of_dentists: Goodness me, Harry, it seems like you dodged quite a bullet there! I'm just glad my parents weren't anywhere near those dangerous Russians. I should call them and make sure they're safe.