Harry Potter: Magic and Guns

Chapter 64: The Twins’ Big Arms Plan



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When it came to knowing Hogwarts inside out, there was probably no one in the school more familiar than the twins. After leaving the Great Hall, Fred and George led Harry to a clean, freshly swept hidden room. The setup looked somewhat like a dining area, and it was only about ten meters from the Hogwarts kitchens. Strangely, despite being a regular kitchen visitor, Harry had never heard any Hufflepuff mention this place.

“We think this must’ve been a secret room left behind by some old Hufflepuff alumnus,” Fred explained casually, a touch of pride on his face as he spoke about their explorations of Hogwarts’ hidden corners. “When we first found it, there was a big pile of old dishes on the table. Must’ve been here for at least two or three hundred years. Maybe he didn’t like eating in the kitchens, so he made this place close by?”

“Would you care for a butterbeer, our esteemed Captain?” George asked, pulling out a small oak barrel. “Special reserve from the Three Broomsticks, brewed personally by the charming Madam Rosmerta herself. You won’t find better butterbeer than this!”

They were well-prepared, no doubt. Harry hesitated for a moment, then reached into his black dragon-hide backpack and pulled out two bottles with Russian labels. “I went to the Soviet Union for a hunting competition over Christmas. One of the prizes was ten crates of 35-year-old Spring of Life vodka. Want to try some? I think it tastes pretty good.”

He cracked open a bottle and took a swig. To be honest, the 96-proof vodka wasn’t exactly meant for casual drinking, but ever since Harry had eaten the heart of the Frost Tyrant, he’d found himself craving strong drinks to warm him up. A mouthful of the fiery liquor seemed to soothe the wild magic still swirling inside him.

Seeing Harry drink so boldly, the twins quickly grabbed two small cups. “Is this vodka, Captain? Want an ice cube?”

Fred pulled out his wand and pointed at the empty glass. It filled with water, and George used a freezing charm to create ice cubes. Then, with a quick bit of transfiguration, he turned one into a perfect sphere. Changing the shape without altering the material didn’t trigger the spell’s reversal—after all, it was just a magical sculpture.

“You two seem pretty skilled. Have you been sneaking your dad’s booze at home?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow at their practiced moves.

Their polished technique definitely made them look like seasoned pros.

“We didn’t steal any of Dad’s liquor!” Fred said, feigning innocence. “We just happened to stumble upon a half-finished bottle of dragon blood whiskey.”

“We couldn’t let it go to waste, so we stepped in to help,” George added.

“Though, in the end, Charlie drank most of it,” Fred continued with a sigh.

“We barely got to lick the glasses clean. Not that we could do much—he could beat us both with one hand,” George quipped.

As they bantered, the twins happily poured themselves small servings of the potent vodka. The strong fumes made them wince as they shot a glance at Harry, who had already downed more than half the bottle. There was a hint of hesitation in their eyes as they poured only a tiny amount for themselves. Then they raised their cups to Harry:

“A toast to a successful Christmas break!”

“And to our Captain winning the hunting competition!”

"Cheers!"

With a slightly flushed face, Harry clinked glasses with them, then downed the remaining third of his drink in one go, lazily belching afterward.

"If only we had some peanuts..."

Pfft!

Before Harry could even finish his sentence, both twins, who had just taken their first sip, immediately spat out their drinks. Abandoning their cups, they grimaced and hissed as the burn hit them. They were used to dragon blood whiskey, which hovered around fifty percent alcohol—something they could handle. But this 96-proof Spring of Life vodka?

It was a different story.

The twins quickly rinsed their mouths with butterbeer and took a moment to recover. After eyeing the bottle suspiciously for a while, they looked back at Harry with pained expressions.

"96 proof, huh?"

"Captain, you're getting less and less human..."

"Well, it's not like England gets -40°C winters," Harry shrugged innocently. "When you're in that kind of cold, you need something to warm yourself up, right?"

"Too bad we couldn't handle the drink, but you said you had something serious to discuss?" Harry asked, steering the conversation back.

"Yes, something very serious," Fred said.

The twins exchanged a glance, suddenly putting on more somber expressions.

"We’ve come across some inside information. It’s reliable—no question about that."

"However, due to certain... reasons, we can't tell you everything."

"It’s not that we don’t want to—it’s that we can’t."

"If only you were two years older, we could give you the full picture. For now, we can only share a part of it."

The twins looked genuinely conflicted, and Harry quickly pieced together what they were hinting at.

"This is about that third-year course, right? The History of Magical Warfare?"

"You know about it?!"

The twins were momentarily taken aback, but they soon regained their composure.

"Well, considering it's you, Captain, I suppose it’s not surprising you’d know," Fred said with a smirk.

After confirming that the magical contract didn’t trigger—a sign that they weren’t breaking any rules by talking to Harry—the twins visibly relaxed.

"That’s a relief! We were worried about how we’d explain everything without breaking any rules," George added, exhaling with a slight smile.

"Over Christmas, we received a letter from Charlie. He’s been off the radar for a long time after graduation. We always thought he’d become a dragon tamer—that was his goal. But in the end, he didn’t go down that path. Instead, he ended up somewhere... secret."

"Dad knows, but he won’t talk about it. We overheard him and Mum discussing it once. Charlie went to a secret department—one connected to the Ministry of Magic but operating completely outside its control."

"At first, we thought it was awesome," Fred continued. "But after reading Charlie’s letter, we started thinking more seriously."

"He wrote to us after he learned about Percy’s situation. It almost felt like a warning. He hinted that the magical world is about to fall into chaos, maybe within the next few years. He also said that Hogwarts has caught the attention of some... dangerous individuals."

"He told us to stay alert at school and make sure we learn something useful. Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, and strong spells—he said we need to master at least one of them. Just getting an N.E.W.T. certificate isn’t enough."

"We’ve never heard Charlie speak to us in such a serious tone before. We know our brother—if it weren’t something incredibly urgent, he wouldn’t say things like this. He’s the type to carry burdens on his own, then turn around and smile at us as if everything’s fine."

The twins took a deep breath. “We’re certain that the secret department Charlie joined is connected to the Demon Clan. The upcoming chaos in the magical world is definitely linked to them, but that’s not the whole story. There are others within the magical world who want to throw everything into disorder.”

"Even though Hogwarts is a school, it’s also where Dumbledore is. And if someone’s trying to throw England into chaos, Dumbledore is the gatekeeper they can't avoid. In Charlie’s letter, he referred to 'them,' not just 'it.'"

“We want to do something about it. Exams might not be our strong suit, but we’re good with our hands. We’re practical types.”

"At first, our dream was to open a joke shop, just like Zonko’s. We spent a ridiculous amount of effort tracking down the Golden Snidget just to raise some initial funds.”

“But after reading Charlie’s letter, we changed our minds—just like Charlie did when he decided not to become a dragon tamer. Now we want to do something more meaningful. If that day of chaos comes, we might not only be able to help ourselves, but help others too.”

“The Ministry of Magic is unreliable. Harry, since you didn’t grow up in the magical world, you don’t know what a joke Fudge is.”

“Honestly, it’s a miracle he became Minister. He’s a complete disaster—put a dog in charge and it’d do a better job.”

“The wizards in the Ministry have even forgotten how to cast a proper Shield Charm. Dad told us a story once—about a time the Ministry caught some smugglers. One of them was a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old boy. They arrested him and put him in temporary holding at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”

“That kid wasn’t thrown straight into a cell because a bunch of bleeding-heart idiots in the Ministry decided it was ‘inhumane.’ They thought the boy had just been ‘misguided’ or something. So guess what?”

Fred sneered. “The kid tricked them into giving him his wand back, then, after seriously injuring three people, he freed the rest of his gang. They took hostages, and Fudge’s solution? ‘Let them go!’ Then he covered the whole thing up like it never happened.”

“Dad said the Ministry wizards that day were like a bunch of monkeys with sticks. They were running around screaming, completely forgetting how to use magic. Of the three injured, two almost killed themselves by casting spells wrong, and only one was actually hit by the kid’s curse, which blinded him in one eye.”

“As harsh as it sounds, that’s exactly why we plan to do what we’re doing.”

“We’re going to profit from the coming war. There's no point in relying on them to defend themselves, so they might as well give us their Galleons to exchange for something that could actually save their lives.”

“Even though we’ve got the Golden Snidget now, we still need more help.”

“So, Captain, will you lend us a hand?”

The twins looked at Harry with hopeful eyes. Hogwarts had everything they needed to develop their plans, but they needed someone with the right access. And after thinking long and hard, they realized Harry was their best—and only—option.

After all, who else had Hagrid’s special favor? At Hogwarts, Harry was one of a kind.

“Let me think about it,” Harry replied, not rushing his answer. After all, his newly formed army did lack an equipment division.

(End of chapter)


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