Harry Potter: F*ck Off

Madam Bones had a wry smile on her face as she commented "So he appeared to be doing something."

"Exactly." replied Harry.

Fudge nodded thoughtfully "Very well, Mr Potter. I believe you are telling the truth. Amelia have Dumbledore arrested as soon as possible. We'll have his titles away from him and get him in Azkaban if we can manage it."

Harry held up a hand "Minister, might I suggest something?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be so quick to boot Dumbledore out."

"Why?"

"Because so long as he is either at Hogwarts as Headmaster or working at the Ministry, he is out in the open. He is busy. Take him away from those positions, and suddenly he has a lot of free time on his hands. Don't forget he is still the great Albus Dumbledore, and an Azkaban conviction might be very hard to obtain, especially as all the evidence you have is what little I have been able to give to you."

"And if he is free from all responsibilities he has more time to plan." said Fudge.

Harry nodded "It is far better to keep an enemy where you can see him."

"And meanwhile we can build an airtight case against him." said Madam Bones.

"Correct," replied Harry "Although it might be a good idea to go through with an investigation of how Hogwarts is run. I imagine that you will get a good deal of information on him that way."

Fudge nodded "Yes, yes I think that would be a good idea. Well, if that is all, Mr Potter, I believe that you are free to go."

"I am?" asked Harry, a little surprised.

"Of course." replied Fudge "I think we can let the matter of your trial go, under the circumstances. After all, your cousin already new about magic, and there were no other Muggle witnesses reported. Just don't do it again."

Harry nodded, thanked the Minister and went to stand up.

As he did, Madam Bones said "Hold on."

Harry and the Minister both turned to look at her.

She continued "As we have you here, Mr Potter, I think that we ought to discuss your living arrangements. For the rest of the summer holidays, at least."

Fudge agreed to that "Yes, we can't in good conscience have you going back to such an environment now that we know about it."

"Honestly, it's fine." replied Harry.

"Nonsense," said Fudge "I'm sure we can find you somewhere much better to stay… Amelia, didn't you say that your Susan was in Harry's year?"

"Indeed she is," replied Madam Bones "Do you know her Harry? Susan Bones?"

"I know her," replied Harry "but not too well, I'm afraid."

"Well," said Fudge "He's a perfect opportunity to change that. Assuming, of course, that you would be happy to take Harry in for the next three weeks, Amelia?"

Madam Bones smiled and said "Shouldn't be a problem."

"Very good," said Fudge "Amelia, why don't you take the rest of the day off to help Harry settle in. I'm sure that Rufus can handle things for one afternoon."

Half an hour later, after Amelia had arranged things with her department at the Ministry, Harry found himself shooting out of the fireplace in the kitchen of the Bones family manor. He crashed straight into a table and then lay in a crumpled heap in the floor.

Somewhere nearby he heard a female voice yelp with surprise. A moment later that same voice exclaimed "Merlin! Are you alright?"

Harry blinked several times, reached up to put his glasses back on and suddenly found himself looking at a pair of worried looking blue eyes.

Behind him the fireplace roared and Madam Bones stepped out of the floo.

She chucked at the sight of Harry on the floor and remarked "I have heard rumours of your less than graceful exiting of the floo network, Mr Potter, but I never expected it to be this bad."

Getting up off of the floor, Harry remarked "Give me a broom any day."

Madam Bones looked to the owner of the blue eyes and asked "Susan, could you leave us alone for a little while? I have some things to ask Mr Potter here."

Susan's eyes moved from her aunt, to Harry and back to her aunt before she gave a nod and left the room.

Once she was gone, Madam Bones indicated that Harry should take a seat at the table. Once they were both seated, she turned to him and asked "Right then, Mr Potter, how much of what you told the Minister earlier was the truth and how much was fabricated?"

Harry gaped at her "What?"

"You heard me." she replied "You might be able to lie well enough to deceive the Minister, but I've been dealing with criminals since before you were born. I went along with you as you spun your little story, but now I want the truth."

Seeing a look mistrust in his eyes, she said "You're not in trouble, Mr Potter. Clearly you have been screwed over by several people in your life, most recently by both the Minister and the Chief Warlock. You lied to get yourself out of a situation that you should never have been in, and now I want the truth."

Harry nodded and replied "As far as I know, Dumbledore had no plot to bring down the Ministry. Voldemort did return at the end of June, and his servant killed Cedric."

Madam Bones nodded and said "You realise that things are going to get more complicated from here on out, right?"

Harry gave a nod, but replied "Everything about my life is complicated, Madam Bones."

A tray containing a teapot, two cups and saucers, two teaspoons, a small jug of milk, a bowl of sugar cubes and a plate of scones appeared on the table between the two of them.

"Tell me everything." said Madam Bones, as she poured them a cup of tea each.

And Harry did. Four years of life at Hogwarts came pouring out of him, almost like the breaking of a damn, there was no stopping it. Be it the rampaging Troll, three headed dog on guard duty, warnings from a House Elf, voices in the corridors, Basilisks attacking, a bewitched diary that wrote back, Dementors on the prowl, or his name coming out of the Tri-Wizard cup, Harry explained the lot. Mad, possessed, oppressed, fraudulent and impersonated teachers were talked about in great detail, and the grand finale of each school year was reviewed in microscopic detail. The Philosopher's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, the truth about Sirius Black, the torment of Voldemort's rebirth, the Minister's refusal to listen and the recent block on communication, no stone was left unturned.

Eventually Madam Bones nodded, got to her feet and commented "Well, I had better see about improving my Department's budget then, hadn't I?"

Harry looked up at her in bewilderment "You believe me?"

"I do." said replied "I cannot explain why just yet, but I do."

"What should I do about it all, though?" asked Harry.

"We can discuss that at a later time, Harry." said Madam Bones "For now it is past midnight. Come on, I'll show you up to the room where you'll be staying."

After Harry had gone to bed, Amelia Bones sat in her study, thinking hard. Harry had only done what was needed to free himself of some of the manipulations of both Dumbledore and the Ministry, and she could not fault him for that. The problem now was where to go from this point. With Fudge not facing the fact that Voldemort had returned, she was put into a bid of a bind.

With any luck Fudge and Dumbledore would get so involved in fighting each other that Dumbledore would leave Harry alone, and Amelia could make some changes without Fudge knowing it.

One problem that would have to be dealt with soon was the young Auror she discovered lurking outside the courtroom under an invisibility cloak. Right now, Nymphadora Tonks was detained in a cell that only the highest ranking Aurors had access to and the matter had been kept quiet. She didn't have the evidence for it yet, but Amelia suspected that she had another of Dumbledore's "pawns" on her hands.

Miles away, in a castle in Scotland, Albus Dumbledore was getting a little concerned. Nymphadora Tonks was supposed to have let him know how young Harry's trial had gone, and she should have done so by now.

He regretted leaving Harry to take the blame, but it was all for the Greater Good in the end.

At least he had avoided having the Ministry investigating the running of the school. Snape, Trelawney, Hagrid and Binns would not stand up to too much scrutiny if they were investigated by competent people. And some of his decisions in recent years would be viewed as very dark to those not of the correct mind set.

Deciding to put his concerns about Tonks out of his mind, he turned back to the papers in front of him. Only three people had applied for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post this time around, and none of them were all that qualified to teach. Not that that had stopped him in the past.

Little did he know that down in London, the Minister for Magic and his highest ranking boot licker had just spent the entire afternoon working on a way to fill that post for him, and inflict a world of pain upon the school.