Harry Potter: Don't touch

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***

Waiting was boring.

Very boring.

Very, very boring.

The only way to describe how boring it was to wait was with a carefully chosen allegory or some kind of comparison. Like this, for example:

- Even Snape washes his hair more often than anything interesting happens here. If he had known, he would have taken playing cards... Or chess... Or spit stones. At least something! - Justin's voice muttered sullenly into the air.

Harry didn't reply. He was used to ignoring Finch-Fletchley's remarks by now.

Ten minutes passed.

- Boredom! Man, why can't they fight properly already! Six men! Fight, for fuck's sake!

It's been another ten minutes.

- No, I understand perfectly well. Everyone's seen the sign, everyone's hoping that the sixth man will be defeated by someone else, but fuck! It's about time someone took action!

Ten more minutes.

- I'm sleepy.

Ten more minutes.

It seemed Finch-Fletchley had managed to get an alarm clock somewhere, and as soon as it counted down ten minutes, the Puffindu began to show his displeasure.

- Harry, I'm sleepy. At least you got some sleep before the test. We've been in the maze for about twelve hours now, if not more, I didn't clock it. I'm exhausted! Can I get some sleep?

- No, we could be attacked at any moment,' Finch-Fletchley answered Harry for the longest time. - Stay alert. Here. Aveik!

Justin had stopped complaining about his lack of sleep under the influence of the invigorating spell, and now he wanted to talk.

- Who do you think will win? - He asked half a minute after he'd been energised.

Harry was bored a lot too, so he decided to keep the conversation going while keeping his guard up.

- I'd like to believe in our victory or Fred's, but I think the pairing of Krum plus Delacourt is the strongest at the moment. Although Otto shouldn't be discounted, he performed very strongly in the first rounds, but the judges lowered his scores for necromancy. And you?

- I think I'll win,' Justin said realistically, or rather not so realistically. - Everyone underestimates me, and I have you. Pairs are much stronger than singles. So it's either Fred Weasley or Otto, who I can't remember his name... Although there are names here... Johan Otto, here. Now must he lose... Or rather, like, now. It's probably not now, but in six months!

Eleven minutes of silence.

Justin broke the system.

- Maybe we should try blowing up the wall, huh?

- No.

Fifteen and a half minutes of silence.

Finch-Fletchley's imaginary alarm clock had broken. In that time, Potter was starting to feel drowsy too, so he put the Aveik on himself.

- Look, is this stuff, nulus penicium something there, can't we get over the wall with help?

- If you mean nulus venificum agger, no. It only works on plants, and the wall is stone.

- That's a shame.

Seven minutes.

New record.

- Who do you think's gonna make it? - Justin asked.

- Logically, Fred Weasley should. It's a shame George isn't in it, then the pair of them could destroy everyone. I like George better than Fred, and I don't have much faith in the abilities of the remaining Weasley. Though I could be wrong. What about you?

- I don't even know the difference between the two, so it's all the same to me. And I think Johan Otto's out, as I said. He's shown nothing but necromancy. He may not even have any household spells. He has to go! And I hope it happens as soon as possible!

Ten minutes.

Stability was returning.

- Why isn't anyone here? It would make sense to wait by the wall passage to see if anyone had flown out. Why hasn't anyone come out yet?

- I'm sure there's more than one closed passageway. Maybe not even a dozen.

- Ooh, that's gonna take us a long time to find each other.

Three minutes.

Record's been broken.

- Delacourt! Fleur Delacour! Look! The name's gone!

Harry looked at the wall and was surprised, the last contestant from Beauxbaton School was indeed gone. Had she dropped out? But it was still written on the wall that the number of contestants was six. The number didn't want to change. What could that mean?

- The number stands - six. Maybe she fell asleep and the wall only reacts to awake champions...' Harry thought and agreed with himself. - Yes, sleep explains everything, the others don't know about the awake spell. So she fell asleep. We'll all fall asleep with the length of the third trial.

- It's possible. But it's a change, don't you think?

Six minutes.

Silver medallist.

- Fuck! You're right! The name came back. She was asleep, and then she woke up.

- There you go. That's what I thought, until the patrol picks up the champion, he's considered a contestant. And by the way, she didn't necessarily fall asleep. She's paired with Kram, so it's possible she was stunned and he just brought her back to consciousness.

- I don't know about this trial. Why didn't whoever stunned Fleur send red sparks?! She would've been taken quickly, and we could've finally moved on.

- You do remember that she's your girlfriend, don't you? - Harry laughed softly. - Don't you think it's weird to wish defeat on someone you're dating?

- I don't care who loses or doesn't lose anymore! I'd probably stun you too, just to get past that bloody wall!

From that moment on, Harry was watching Justin as well, just to be on the safe side. Or rather, the air that was Justin. The desillumination spell was working perfectly. After three minutes, it subsided on its own. Potter didn't bother to prolong the effect.

* * *

After about ten minutes, the long awaited event finally happened. The name was gone from the list. No, Fleur was still on the list, Johan Otto was gone. The sixes changed to fives and the wall vanished as if it never existed.

- Fuck! Hallelujah! Come on, let's go faster, I'm killing my legs.

Justin jumped up and ran at breakneck speed into the third area of the maze. Harry followed. He was getting tired of the inactivity, but he didn't show it.

After five minutes of running, after Potter was exhausted and Finch-Fletchley had stumbled and hit his head on the ground, they decided not to run, but to walk at a brisk pace.

In twenty minutes of this progression, they had only encountered a dendroid, which Harry accidentally stunned by sending a spell at the sound of rustling branches.

And then after another fifteen minutes they met a sphinx that was blocking the passage to one of the two paths.

- The end of the third round was near! And so is winter! - exclaimed the latter, and thrust into the ground the sword which he had held in his paws from the beginning.

- Give us a riddle, we'll solve it quickly and move on! - Justin took the floor.

- We'll give you a riddle!

If you like it so much!

- Can I tell it not in verse, but normally? (I am too lazy to think up verses) As ordinary people, or rather, sphinxes, or rather, on the contrary, unusual sphinxes. In general, it will be easier for me to understand.

- Good. I can speak without using the verse form. As you wish. First of all, I would like to point out that you may not solve it and go to the next passage, but you will reach the cup in an hour by the passage behind me; in case you fail to solve the riddle, the passage will be closed to you, and then you will have only one choice. The other passage will take you at least three hours to walk at a human pace, and this path will be guarded by magical beasts and spells. So. The riddle...

The Sphinx paused dramatically.

- There is a room, and in it stands you. You have a magic wand and the skills to use it. Also in the room with you are Dark Lord Voldemort, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Gilderoy Lockhart, a famous writer, Krushwyk, the owner of Gringotts, Scarlett Johansson, a beautiful maiden, Death in human form, a leprechaun, a magical creature, Cornelius Fudge, Prime Minister of magical Britain, Merlin, the great magician, Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, Mrs Altruism, the goddess of altruism, and a common junkie.

- Sounds like the start of an awesome story, let's get on with it! - Finch-Fletchley was already enjoying the mystery. He stared at the sphinx with anticipation.

- Each of these men is unarmed and asks you to kill all the others....

- I'd like to see them scuffle together,' Justin interjected.

- 'Kill these creatures and I will teach you all the secrets of magic! - says Voldemort.

- Kill these creatures and I'll make you a folk hero! You'll have a crowd of fans, everyone will love you! - says Dumbledore

- Kill these creatures and I'll make you world famous! - says Lockhart.

- Kill these creatures and half of Gringotts gold will be yours! - says Krushwyk.

- Kill these creatures, and I will be your wife! And I will love you forever! - says Scarlett Johansson.

- Kill these creatures and I will make you immortal! - says Death.

- Kill these creatures and I will tell you all the secrets and mysteries of the universe, says Merlin.

- Kill these leather bags and I will make you incredibly lucky! You will win at dice, events will unfold only in your favour! - says the leprechaun.

- Kill these creatures! And I will make you my first assistant and successor! You will become Minister of Magic, and you will have complete, total power! - says Cornelius Fudge.

- Kill these creatures and I will make you graceful, you will become an idol of beauty and will attract absolutely all individuals of the opposite sex! - says Aphrodite.

- Don't kill anyone! Be a real man, not a creature ruled by his base desires. Do this, and you will become a good man! It will count for something in the next world! - said Mrs Altruism.

- Hey, mate! Kill all these guys, I've got a pill that will make you happy, God gave it to me, I bet it has an infinite lifespan! If you kill them all, I'll give it to you, you'll be happy forever! - said the junkie.

- That's the whole mystery. - The Sphinx was silent.

- That's the best riddle I've ever heard, it's all very brilliant, but I have one question. Who is Scarlett Johansson?

- That's right. I'm sorry, I stand far above all sphinxes and I can see through time. She's only recently been born. Let me replace her with Emma Watson.

- Hmmm... Something familiar,' Justin thought, he started to remember something. - For some reason I've been having flashbacks...

- Well, forget it, that's not it either. Let's go with Merlin Monroe.

- Oh! I got it. No more questions,' said Finch-Fletchley.

- I'm not,' said Harry. - It's the first time I've heard all three names.

- Well, to hell with specific examples and names, let it be a creature you both understand. Veela!

- Okay, a Veela is a Veela, but I don't get it,' Potter said. - What's the question? What is the mystery of this... mystery?

- The question is something we have to find on our own.

- That's fucking brilliant! - Finch-Fletchley was instantly disappointed in the riddle. - All right, Harry, do you have any ideas?