Harry Potter Breaking The Chains

Dear Ginny,

I'm not exactly sure where to start as I've never written you before, but I suppose the beginning is as good a place as any. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things, actually. I'm sorry for not noticing you and getting to know you sooner. I realized over the past year what a great person you are, and I'd feel lucky to be able to count you as a friend.

I'm sorry for forgetting about your run in with Voldemort. After you brought it to my attention over the Christmas holidays, I realized that I never once asked you how you were handling it and to make sure you were doing okay. I was a bloody git. Can you forgive me? I'm also sorry for leading you into that trap at the ministry. I appreciate your help and willingness to come that night. Without you and the others, there probably wouldn't have been anything left for the Order to save by the time they arrived.

I just got around to reading the letter I received from Ron. He mentioned that you had wanted to send me a letter and that he'd refused to send it with his. The prat was acting like he had done me a favor. I haven't written Ron back yet. The last thing I need right now is another minder or someone who is going to tiptoe around me. Instead, I decided to write to you. I don't want to think of you as an acquaintance, or my best friend's little sister, but as a friend in your own right. That is if you'll have me.

Now that that's over with, how are you doing? Is your ankle alright? I don't really know how you've been affected by Sirius's passing. Did you really know him well? I know you guys were all at Headquarters before I ever made it there, so I don't know how well you got to know him or if you even liked him. Plus I was probably a little too caught up in myself to notice much of what was going on around me anyway.

God, I miss him. I just can't help thinking to myself, if only I hadn't been so stupid, maybe he'd still be here now. Maybe I'd be writing him a letter complaining about being stuck here, but now being stuck here doesn't seem so bad in comparison. I was in pretty bad shape for a while. I wasn't able to eat, and I barely left my room. I'm starting to feel a little better though. I made a promise to myself last night to take control of my life and not make a mistake like that ever again, and I woke up this morning feeling like some of the weight had been lifted off me. It still hurts, but now it seems bearable. That's all I can really ask for at this point.

I'm sorry for rambling on so much. Here you probably hate my guts for almost getting you killed and I'm talking your ears off with my problems. I hope this letter finds you well and that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for everything. I'd like it if we could write to each other this summer. I'd like to get to know you better. I asked Hedwig to wait around for you, in case you wanted to reply. If you don't want to write, I'll understand. Just send Hedwig on her way.

Take care,

Harry

P.S. I almost forgot. The galleons are for potions supplies. I was hoping you could talk your mum into picking some things up from the apothecary for me, since I can't exactly go into Diagon Alley myself. I've decided to occupy myself with my studies over break for lack of anything else to do, and potions is taking a priority as I've got to be ready for Snape's NEWT class (assuming I make it in). I'll need to do well if I want to be an auror. I wasn't sure how much it would cost, so tell your mum I can send more if need be. There's a list of what I need in the envelope. Thanks, Gin. You're the best.

Ginny was speechless. What was that? He'd just said more in that one letter than he had probably ever said to her in the past five years since she'd first met him. He had just practically begged her to be his friend. She had thought he'd never see her for anything other than Ron's little sister.

It had been the world's worst kept secret that Ginny had a huge crush on Harry Potter when she was younger, and she could now admit to it without that familiar blush creeping up from her cheeks to her ears. She had spent years hoping Harry would finally notice her, realize he was madly in love with her, and whisk her away on his noble white steed…

Okay, so that's not exactly what she had been hoping for, but looking back on it now, she knew she was waiting on a fairy tale. Only fairy tales aren't real. How could she expect Harry to notice her when she couldn't utter a single coherent sentence in his presence? Hell, she had trouble just getting out any sounds that could pass for human speech. She had realized during her third year just how silly she was being. If she couldn't hold a conversation with Harry, she would never be anything to him.

The first step was to drop her fairy tale. She gave up hoping for her fairy tale romance with Harry. She still cared for Harry, as most people who came to know him did. After Harry came out of the third task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament at the end of her third year looking so broken and lost, she resolved that she would help Harry in any way that she could. She would be his friend. She wasn't holding out on some romantic fantasy of being the shoulder Harry cried on and the one who gave him comfort in his darkest hours. No, she was done with that silliness.

Harry needed his friends and family - and from what she knew of his family, they were bound to be of no help whatsoever - to be there for him, to support him, and to help him shoulder his burdens. It tore at her heart that night in the Hospital Wing, watching Harry sob into her mother's embrace.

At first, when her mother had wrapped her arms around him, he had stiffened as if unsure what was going on, as if he had never been held like that before. It wasn't until later that she realized how true that thought was. She had heard Ron talking in the past about Harry's relatives, but it never really hit her until later that night what he was really saying.

She had been proud of herself that summer at Grimmauld Place. When Harry had finally arrived to spend the summer with them, she had not turned into the silly little lovesick fan girl she always used to become around him. She hadn't let his appearance change her at all. She acted like her usual self all throughout the summer. She had not said much directly to Harry, but the point was that she was now capable of talking to Harry. And she had no trouble talking to others even in his presence. Sadly enough, this was a remarkable improvement.

Things had remained stagnant as school began, at least in regards to Harry. She was a year behind him, so they had no classes together. Eventually the DA started, so she got to see him a bit more. In addition, over the winter holidays Harry had witnessed the snake attack on her father through his connection with Voldemort.

He had been afraid that he might have been possessed by Voldemort and tried to withdraw from everyone. When they confronted him about it, she had been the one to pull him out. He had claimed they wouldn't understand, but she understood all too well what it was like to be possessed by Voldemort. When she brought up the diary from her first year, Harry had immediately realized his misjudgment and had quickly retracted his attitude. Finally, Ginny had felt like she had done something useful for a change. She had finally helped Harry.

During the next term, she helped concoct the plan to allow Harry to speak to Sirius and at the end of term went with Harry into the Ministry of Magic to rescue Sirius. Harry had tried to talk her and the others out of coming, but she had adamantly stood her ground.

He just had to learn that he couldn't do everything on his own. Ginny had always been jealous of the adventures that Harry, Ron, and Hermione had shared over the years. She had romanticized them in her mind, thinking them wonderful and fun and exciting. After that night, those thoughts were immediately dispelled.

Their adventure was anything but wonderful, fun and exciting. It was at times cold, uncomfortable, terrifying, painful, seemingly helpless, frantic… no, nothing like she had imagined it to be. Nevertheless, she would have gone again in a heartbeat. It was just right. It was her chance to help Harry and to fight Voldemort.

That brings us back to the present. Ginny had read through Harry's letter again in between her musings, and she still could not quite fathom the letter she held in her hands. This just didn't seem anything like the Harry she had gotten to know over the past year.

And it definitely wasn't the broken, vacant Harry she had just left a little over a week ago. Harry was notorious for being closed up about his feelings, but he had been so open with her. The letter had a serious tone to it, but it wasn't a depressing one. He wasn't joking around and laughing, but she hardly expected him to be doing anything of that sort at this point of time. To top it all off, though, he had seemed genuinely concerned about her and her acceptance of him.

Ginny was utterly confused. For a moment she considered the possibility that he had simply sent similar messages to all of those who had gone to the ministry with him to get it out of the way and avoid our questions and nagging. But that didn't quite add up. For one, Harry had specifically stated that he had yet to write Ron, and he had said that he only just got around to reading letters today, so there's no way Hedwig could have made many deliveries before her. Plus she was still sitting in her room waiting to see if Ginny was going to reply. There was no way around it. She was the one he had chosen to write to. He could have at most sent out only one other letter beforehand.

As she was watching Hedwig, the owl hooted at her questioningly. "Oh!" Ginny jumped as she quickly withdrew from her thoughts. "You're wondering whether or not I'm gonna write back, aren't you?" At Hedwig's nod, Ginny remarked, "Well aren't you the clever one? I'll try not to keep you waiting too long." And with that Ginny withdrew a roll of parchment and a quill and ink bottle from her desk and sat down to write.

As Ginny finished off the last sentence of her letter to Harry, she wondered how she should sign it. Normally she'd sign it "With love, Ginny" but with her history with Harry, she briefly considered choosing a safer tag like "Your friend." In the end, she decided that she really shouldn't even have to think about it. Harry was a friend now, so she'd sign it as she would sign a letter to any one of her friends.

With that done Ginny rolled up the parchment and crossed the room to where Hedwig was perched at the head of her bed. Ginny tied the note to Hedwig's leg and held out her arm for the owl to jump on. She crossed the room to the window and was just opening it up as her door flew open and Ron's loud voice filtered in "Ginny, what have you been - Where did that owl come from?" Ron asked as Hedwig launched herself out the window.