Chapter 32: Embracing Redemption
Sirius took Harry's hand, and led the shivering boy into the drawing room. He sat down on the couch with him, and began to rub soothing circles on his back to calm him down. As the silence of the house settled against them, Sirius was incredibly glad he'd had the foresight to cast a Silencing Charm on the foul portrait of his mother on the wall. He'd received a nasty surprise when he'd briefly returned here to make the Portkey; he had barely stepped in through the door when the portrait started shrieking all manner of vile things at him.
He'd learned during his stint in Azkaban that Mrs. Black had died, and it seemed as though she'd had the last laugh by installing the portrait, as though she suspected that Sirius might someday return. The more logical part of him knew it was Black tradition for family members to install portraits of themselves, but Sirius couldn't help the feeling that it had been done to spite him. Right now, though, he was just glad he had cast the Silencing Charm on it; her screams and disgusting insults were the last thing Harry currently needed.
Harry took some deep breaths, trying to get his swirling emotions under control. Eventually, he lifted his head from Sirius's shoulder and asked, "Where are we?"
"My old house," Sirius replied, stroking Harry's hair. He hoped his face wouldn't show his abhorrence for the place, but knew he was not at all well-versed in hiding his true feelings. As predicted, Harry caught it.
"What's wrong?" he asked, and Sirius's heart constricted at the fact that despite his own ordeal, Harry was concerned about what the other man was going through.
And it was true that Sirius was going through a deep well of turmoil as snatches of memories flew through his mind at breakneck speed. Focus on Harry, he told himself fiercely. Your childhood happened years ago. Your priority is Harry now. He comes first. Your wallowing needs to wait. They're just memories. Just memories.
But he couldn't help but answer Harry truthfully as he saw the compassion in the boy's emerald eyes. "I hated this house growing up," he admitted. "My parents ... well, let's just say they were the worst kind of people. I ran away from here when I was sixteen."
Harry's eyes widened. "You did?" he said in shock. "Then why ... why did we come here?"
"That's simple," Sirius said. "It's the safest place for us. This place holds many secrets, one of them being that no one can find it if they don't know exactly what it is they're looking for. No one will find us here unless we want them to."
At this, Harry's face sagged, the guilt-stricken expression returning at full force. "Sirius, you didn't need to do this for me," he said softly. "I'm only going to cause more trouble for you."
Sirius gazed at Harry, adopting a stern but soft tone. "Now, let me make one thing clear, Harry James," he said, holding his gaze unyieldingly. "This guilt has to stop, and it will stop right now. You are in no condition to be questioned by those Aurors, or face the rest of the school. And even if you were, I wouldn't allow it. I vowed I would take care of you, and I am going to do so. Harry, you are a child, and you have had to go through things many have never had to face in an entire lifetime. And the adults in your life, I must say, have done piss-poor jobs taking care of you. I might hate this house, but guess what? It doesn't matter. Besides," he added, his voice softening, "with you here, it won't be so bad. You and I can make it more of a home than it ever was." As he spoke, a million ideas flashed through his mind of how to make the place more habitable. "We're family, kiddo," Sirius continued, still stroking Harry's hair. "You're stuck with me."
Harry's hold tightened again, and he buried his face back into Sirius's shoulder, his breaths coming out shaky. "It's okay, Harry," Sirius soothed, and as he held onto the boy, he truly felt, for the first time, that he was on the path to redemption. His heart expanded as he clung to Harry as tightly as the boy was clinging to him. "I won't let them hurt you. Not ever. It's you and me against the world, kid, but we're going to make it. Everything will be all right now."
And despite what lay in front of them, Sirius suddenly felt a surge of hope. Maybe, just maybe, everything would be.
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