Chapter 102: The Weight of Love
At midnight that night Lily sat in the kitchen, her face in her hands as tears dripped down her face. She was sad for many reasons, the first being she could not spend time with her other son because Dumbledork thought that it was a good idea to keep them separate.
And then there was Harry, sweet and lovely Harry! The boy loved her so much and Lily couldn't help but feel undeserving of the love and affection from the boy. Oh, how much she loved that boy.
He was smart, kind, caring and so incredibly talented. She was so worried about letting him go in that tournament, a variety of thoughts went through her mind. At first she couldn't believe she was letting him compete, then she began thinking she was a bad mother for doing so, a fear of him getting injured and then absolute pride.
It depressed her that she didn't know what had happened in her baby's life, either of them. All she knew is one was spoilt while the other suffered. Though she took some pleasure in the fact that Harry may have been able to help Adrian.
"Mum" Harry's voice brought her out of her thoughts, she looked up to see Harry kneeling before her "are you alright?"
"I'm fine baby" She replied, sniffing as she did so
"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow and wiped her tears "I didn't know people were fine when they cry or is this just some woman thing that I don't know about where you have to release fluids from your eyes once a week or something"
"Harry" Lily shook her head in amusement "really, I'm fine"
"We both know that if the positions were reversed you wouldn't believe me, so what's really going on mum?"
"Just…a lot of things" Lily sighed
"Okay…I can assume it's nothing to do with Padfoot or dad thanks to the fact that they're both alive" Harry joked "Moony is too smart to piss you off, Rose is too shy"
"Oh, I love that girl" Lily commented "She's so sweet, it's a shame she get's so nervous around people. I can't help but…"
"Want to protect her" Harry finished for her "I know the feeling. Now, was it something I did? Was it the war duel?"
"No baby" Lily shook her head and placed her hands on Harry's "it's nothing that you've done, it's me"
"You're not sick are you?" Harry's eyes widened
"No, nothing like that" Lily replied "It's just….just…."
"Just what?" Harry prompted
"I'm a bad mother" Lily said
"No!" Harry said immediately "No! You are not a bad mother! You are many things but you are not a bad mother!"
"Harry, I've missed so much of your life"
"Only because the dark wanker chose a horrible moment to come and say hello!"
"You had to suffer because I was too weak to stop him" Lily argued
"Mum, if he was so easy to stop then someone would have done it by now, even with Dumbledore being a lazy prick."
"I let Dumbledore take Adrian away from us!"
"No, you knew it was temporary and you didn't want to fight in front of Adrian. We both know that if Dumbledore permanently tried to keep you away from him you would hex him, like you did today. Good job on that by the way"
"Thanks Harry" She smiled, but still sniffed after "and then there's you, I…I let you compete in a tournament where I thought you could die! Does that make me a bad mother?!"
"No! It means that you believed that I could win! If it makes you that upset then I will never compete in that tournament again."
"I don't understand Harry" Lily said as tears dripped down her eyes
"Me either, I'm positive I'm saying the right things but you keep getting upset"
"Why do you love me so much?" Lily asked "I was missing through most of your life, you've suffered because of my sister and I've not done anything good since I woke up!"
....
Do you want to read ahead by more than 60 exciting premium chapters?
Then join my p*atreon right now.
Link: p*atreon.com/Sonic_Spectre (Remove the *)
Free members can unlock upto 2 chapters.