GUN SALAD

Roulette tipped the bucket toward Morgan’s mouth, struggling to keep her hands steady all the while. Mimi had been kind enough to fetch it from under the pump nearby, but it wouldn’t be much use if the water brimming within never made it past his lips! 

“Drink up,” she murmured, as if he had any control over the process whatsoever. In her antsy state, she ended up slopping a gallon or so right down his front, wetting his clothes and, hopefully, nourishing him somewhat.

The girl sighed to herself. Good enough.

But it really wasn’t. Since they’d arrived in Toothless, absolutely nothing had gone to plan. She’d flubbed the ambush, put Morgan in harm’s way, and set off a chain of events that had led to Marka–who she’d thought to be the most stable and good-natured member of the posse–losing his damn mind! It was hard to believe that, as little as forty-eight hours ago, they’d all been laughing and joking with one another as they underwent Morgan’s harebrained team-building exercises.

I guess none of that stuff helped us any, she thought dryly. Though if she were honest with herself, she had to admit that wasn’t entirely fair. As she’d learned many times, the real world had a way of balling up your knowledge and expectations and throwing them back in your face.

“How is he?”

That sounded like a man’s voice. She turned her head to find Conrad there, standing next to Mimi in his filthy olive-colored suit. He had a deeply sympathetic look on his face–more sympathetic than she’d expect after only a few fleeting encounters with Morgan. 

Had something happened between them that she wasn’t aware of?

“Legs’re broken,” she replied, “and Marka gave him a bit of a shake. He’s in a bad way right now.”

Conrad nodded and said nothing more. Roulette offered what she hoped was a reassuring smile and looked to the skies, trying to pick out the cluster of random objects that marked Beretta’s location. If only she’d made it back to us, she mused. Drizzle could’ve fixed him up in a jiffy.

“We’d better get back to the Skywind, Rou,” Mimi said softly. “I’ll fetch Marka. Maybe he’s calmed down enough to consider carrying Morgan back by now.”

Roulette frowned and held up one hand, squinting at the patch of sky that hosted Berry’s iron-walled vessel. “Hold on a minute, Mimi. Look there–can you see the safe?” she asked. “Am I crazy… Or does it look like it’s gettin’ closer?”

Mimi shaded her eyes and followed her gaze. “Holy shit! You’re right!”

Slowly but surely, the safe and all the knickknacks orbiting it had begun to drift back toward the ground. And from the looks of it, Conrad and Solomon’s law firm was descending at the same rate! 

Roulette laid Morgan down gently and got to her feet, too excited to sit still. “It’s all comin’ back down to earth!” she cheered, barely resisting the urge to jump for joy near her injured companion. “I don’t know why, but it is! Somebody run and tell Marka!”

Mimi looked prepared to do just that, but an even more heartening development stopped her in her tracks. All around them, people had started to emerge from the buildings that had already reached the ground; people who, unbelievably, hadn’t actually died of starvation during their time away from Toothless! Roulette gawked at the sight of haggard-looking locals emerging from their homes and businesses to step beyond their porch for the first time in weeks. Some made a beeline for the nearest water pump, others bent low to caress the ground in appreciation…

But most ran straight to the homes of their loved ones, throwing their arms around the friends and family members they had missed so dearly. And when they were done with all that, they wandered over, one by one, to gather around Roulette and company.

“Keep back a ways, if you could–this man is injured!” she called good-naturedly. “Unless one of you is a doctor, please stay well back!”

“Are you the one who brought us all back down?” asked a disheveled man near the front of the crowd.

“You gave me my son back!” cried a nightgown-clad granny from behind him. “I could kiss you!”

Roulette laughed softly, peering around at the wall of grateful faces that had come to surround them. “It was this man, here, who saved Toothless!” she exclaimed, waving toward the listless man at her feet. “He’s in no shape to receive your thanks right now, so I’ll ask again: are there any doctors around?”

Given Drizzle’s propensity for running dry, it seemed wise to ask. However, nobody stepped forward to answer the call. Instead, many of them stepped back as a strange cloud of miscellany descended into their midst–a collection of odds and ends enclosed within bubbles, with a black, monolithic shape standing out at the center of the flock:

Conrad and Solomon’s safe.

Conrad rushed forward to meet it without having to be asked, allowing the bubble encircling it to pop before throwing himself to his knees by the dial. He rotated it with speed and precision, appearing as eager to reveal its contents as Roulette herself felt, before the safe’s heavy iron door swung open…

…And a sweaty, jubilant ball of youthful energy burst out into the sunlight!

“I am FREE!” Beretta bellowed, eliciting a gasp of unmitigated surprise from the crowd. Roulette could tell at a glance that nobody quite understood what was going on, but Berry’s celebratory demeanor proved infectious; the townspeople whooped and cheered as Beretta raced around laughing and embracing her friends. 

Only when she arrived at Morgan’s side did her attitude take a turn for the solemn. “Oh, Morgan,” she breathed, reaching back to pull Drizzle from the waistband of her trousers. “What has happened to you? I hope I can do something this time…”

She turned her head slowly to regard the reservoir of her clear, glassy water pistol, as if she was frightened by the prospect of what she’d find there. Thankfully, Roulette could see that there was no cause for concern. The water gun looked to be every bit as full as the day she’d first held it.

Beretta smiled gleefully and got right to work. She directed the barrel toward her patient and started squeezing the trigger for all she was worth, dousing Morgan in a stream of healing waters so potent that Roulette could practically see the bones resetting themselves beneath his skin! Before long, his constant groans of pain had died away, giving way to an uninterrupted rhythm of calm, even breaths… And then:

“How ‘bout that,” he chuckled, grimacing as he rose up into a sitting position. “You actually saved some healin’ water for me this time.”

The little girl gave a tinkling laugh and threw her arms around him, nearly rocking him back onto the dust. He hollered in protest, begging for someone to help him… But, of course, nobody dared interfere. Roulette and Mimi looked on, smirking all the while, as the two heroes of the day reunited. Eventually, Morgan managed to extricate himself from her tiny, insistent arms and rise to his full height, leaving him free to heave a sigh of relief.

“Phew,” he huffed, wiping a spot of grime from his brow. “It ain’t easy bein’ so beloved, let me tell y–”

Before he could finish, the crowd closed in to mob him. Beretta only just got clear of the stampede before Morgan’s band of admirers swept him up onto their shoulders and proceeded to parade him through town, sparing not a single thought for the fact that he was loudly and repeatedly howling at them to stop. Roulette, Mimi, and Beretta stayed behind, unable to hold back from cracking up as they carried him on a grand circuit of Toothless’s main thoroughfare. 

The lively procession continued for some time before Roulette noticed two figures standing off to the side. One was an older, gruff-looking man Roulette hadn’t met before–the man she’d seen jumping to the rooftops with Conrad a few minutes prior. 

The other, of course, was Marka.

He smiled sadly, his face lined with the telltale signs of guilt and worry. He stood apart with his hands behind his back, radiating an aura of profound unease. She could tell he felt ashamed–unworthy, even, of the joy he saw demonstrated by the rest of the group. He seemed determined to make an outsider of himself; to undergo some kind of penance for the way he’d acted, even if it meant holding off on welcoming his own daughter back to Cal Vontran soil.

Roulette couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She cocked her head and waved him over, even going so far as to furnish the big lug with a grin. They’d all made a mistake or two, after all. Who was she to deny him the forgiveness he so obviously craved?

With that, the big man nodded gratefully, closed the distance between them, and knelt down to hug his daughter tightly to his chest.