Growing Pains DC/DBZ

My current situation sounded like the beginnings of a bad joke.

A Kryptonian, a Demigoddess, and a Super Space Cop vs a pre-teen one-armed monkey girl. Who would win?

Obviously not the monkey girl. Anyone who thought otherwise was lying to themselves.

Well, I guess that also depended on exactly which pre-teen monkey girl you were talking about. There were probably a few out there that could pull off a win, but I knew for certain I couldn't. Not at my level, anyway.

Was I a bit bitter? Yes, yes I was.

Because unlike all other times I got in over my head, there was no winning this one. Or even 'winning' like the last few times. No, this was an instant Go to Jail card. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Maybe literally actually. I did just attack the army yesterday and just helped demolish a good section of a city block. Someone was probably pissed about that.

Although…escaping from a superjail did sound kinda interesting- No! Stay focused! Think of plans to break out of a jail when I wasn't being stared down by three superheroes that could beat me with one arm tied behind their back.

One-on-one I could potentially do something unless they got serious, but against all three? Unless I got insanely lucky, yeah, it wasn't happening.

Was this what it was like to be Vegeta? Where you beat one guy and feel all good about yourself, only for a bunch of people stronger to instantly pop up and you have no chance of winning?

Cause if this is what it feels like to be him I completely understand why he was so pissed off all the time.

Still, that didn't mean I was just going to just give up. I just had to buy myself some time by doing what I've been doing since I landed in Metropolis.

Take refuge in audacity.

"Hey guys! Wha-"

"Are you alright, child? I'm sorry we didn't arrive before the end of the fight. You seem wounded, do you need to see a healer?" And Wonder Woman cut me off before I could begin.

Here I was desperately trying to figure out how to get one over three opponents I had no chance of beating and yet Wonder Woman just saw an injured child that had just finished fighting what I now knew was a villain and wanted to make sure she was okay. I wasn't even a threat she needed to be wary of right now.

…Ouch, my pride…

I deflated midair, even my tail drooping down despondently.

"...yeah, my arm is broken." I most certainly did not pout. "...The shoulder might also be dislocated." cause now that the adrenaline was wearing off I realized I couldn't move it very well.

"Well your shoulder is definitely dislocated, but it looks like you only cracked the bone." Superman spoke up, and I realized he must have checked it out with his x-ray vision. "Why don't we get that looked at while we talk. We actually needed to-"

"HEY! Before you go off and do your superhero stuff, can one of you get me off this roof?!" Lois yelled at us. As if the heroes didn't already notice her.

"Lois?! What are you doing here?!"

I turned and stared at a visibly surprised Superman. Did…did he really not notice her?

"That gremlin decided to kidnap me!"

"Kidnap you? What for?!" "Wh-wha?!" Wonder Woman and Superman made questioning sounds at Lois's revelation. Green Lantern, on the other hand, was a bit more calm about the whole thing.

"Why don't we all head down to the streets and get the girl's injuries looked at. Then we can talk." He stated reasonably.

-o-

Watching the three heroes help with the aftermath of my fight was interesting.

Batman never hung around the scene longer than to make sure the police showed up and the bad guy was in cuffs. And he certainly never talked to anyone unless he had to.

Flash was kinda the opposite of that. He would happily chat with the responders, the bystanders, and even the guys he caught for as long as they wanted. It was a good thing he was so stupidly fast. He'd never get anything else done otherwise.

Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern didn't work like that.

Green Lantern sternly moved from place to place using his ring to move piles of rubble, clear paths, and shuffle people around as needed. And while he did talk to people, he seemed to say as little as possible to explain what he was doing and preferred talking to the responders.

Superman, after he made sure no one was trapped by the rubble, was hanging out by the ambulances. Either assisting the EMT's with his supervision or simply calming people down.

And while those two had handled the cleanup, Wonder Woman took me to get my arm looked at and helped reset my shoulder before she moved away to deal with the reporters that seemed to have crawled out of the walls considering how many there were.

At least she was until I tried slipping away. I got maybe twenty feet away before I was dragged back by my tail - not literally, she actually used her lasso - Then she turned herself into my personal babysitter while answering a few more questions from the crowd.

Lois looked far too smug about the whole thing.

Anyway, once things got to a point the regular professionals could handle the rest, the three heroes grabbed me and Lois and moved us to a fairly deserted park so we could talk like they wanted.

"So what are you doing here, Lois?" Superman began. "And what was that about a kidnapping?"

"I was in Nevada for a demonstration when this one-" Lois took advantage of the fact I was still tied up to pat me on the head and ruffle my hair.

I glared at her. "I'll bite…"

"-decided to invade the base looking for me and a way to get in contact with you." She said, looking at Superman and completely ignoring my threat. "No one thought the little gremlin would do all that just to ask a question, so we all assumed I was the target. Jimmy made a mis-timed statement and I got taken on an unexpected flight as a result." She scowled at me for the last part and then went on to explain exactly what happened at the military base.

I was unrepentant. Yes, it was stupid to kidnap her when I wasn't prepared to. No, I would not apologize.

"...I had no idea…" Superman sounded stunned. I had no idea why. I doubted anyone in charge of the army would've been happy admitting losing to a single alien and probably kept the whole thing a secret. And without someone telling him, how was he supposed to know?

Wait, didn't that make my plan even stupider?! They must never know…

While I was shoving the memories of my kidnapping plan into the deepest darkest hole I could (telepaths are a thing!) Superman and Lois went back and forth a bit about getting her something to immediately let him know if something like that happened again with Lois vehemently refusing to 'wear a leash' because the world could be dangerous.

Thankfully, the other two heroes stepped in before things could get too awkward and brought up the reason the three of them were here in the first place. They needed to talk to me.

"Sure, I guess. What do you need? And could someone untie me?" I asked reasonably, but was ignored.

"Two things really." Green Lantern said. "We finally got word back from Lantern Jordan a little while ago. He's on Oa because when he asked about your species he ran into an information block."

"Okay?" I was confused and more than a little surprised. The Lanterns knew about other Saiyans? There was an info block on us?

"I won't bore you with too many of the details," Hey, hold on! I wanted those details! "But we discovered the sector your people live in is actually under a severe quarantine after they almost depopulated five sectors and basically declared war on the universe. No one in or out without good reason. Of course we miss a few now and then, but they are usually found quickly and written off as pirates so we don't have another sector wide war on our hands. Which made us wonder how you got all the way to Earth with no one noticing. Lantern Gardner backtracked your pod's trail and found traces of Bleed radiation." Green Lantern loomed over me. "What we need to know is; do the Saiyans have access to Bleed tech? Can your pod open a portal?"

"Not that I know of, and my pod uses a gravitic engine." I replied immediately, which surprised me. Until I glanced down and remembered what I was wrapped in.

The Lasso of Truth…Ah.

"Were you the only one sent out for your mission? Is anyone waiting to hear from you?"

"I was the only one sent to this planet but I was just one of a bunch of us being sent out all at once." I said and even though I really wanted to stop there, my mouth kept moving. "And no, Saiyans sent out on suicide missions don't have anyone listening for them. We either complete the mission or are forgotten about."

"Suicide missions?!" Thankfully, Superman's outburst was taken as a rhetorical statement so I didn't have to answer him. The heroes shared another round of glances before Green Lantern finally nodded and backed away. Wonder Woman waved her hand and the lasso magically loosened and fell away.

I quickly hopped away from the magic rope and made a note to do everything I could to avoid getting caught by it again.

"So was that it?"

"No, that was just the first thing." Wonder Woman said apologetically. "The second, which seems even more necessary after hearing about your latest stunt and your mission, is that we need to do something about your law breaking."

Oh, crap. Was I actually going to go to prison?!

"There was no real way to properly deal with you before the formation of the League since very few heroes could give you an environment to help you integrate with Earth, but we believe that's changed. Between myself, Manhunter, and the other members of the League when time allows them, we can teach you more about Man's World…if you will let us."

So not prison. But were they seriously asking what I think they were?

"Are…are you asking me to be your sidekick?!"

"No, but since it would be a mistake to try sending you back to your sector we are hoping to help make Earth your new home." Superman explained. "And none of us think the normal programs will work for you."

"I've been training with Batman and Flash…" I tried objecting, but was quickly overruled by Wonder Woman.

"Yes, you have been training," She emphasized. "But both of them agree that's not enough for a childhood or healthy mental development."

I scoffed. "I've been doing fine so far."

"Picking a fight with the Army and getting pressured into kidnapping doesn't sound fine to me." Green Lantern grumbled and I tried not to blush.

"You don't have to be a villain, Califa." Wonder Woman continued. "Come with me to Themyscira. Give up the mission you were sent on and we can teach you to be better than that…"

I had to stop myself from laughing at that. It was hilarious that they thought I cared about my 'mission' for as long as they did. Especially because the Green Lanterns should have been able to tell I made the whole thing up by now if they had records of other Saiyans.

Other than that, I was actually a little torn about the offer.

On the one hand, I really liked running around doing my own thing and occasionally dropping in to find a sparring partner somewhere. I'd probably be giving up a lot of my ability to do things like that. But since the formation of the Justice League it wasn't guaranteed that a hero would be in any one city anymore and most of the villains were still in hiding. Not to mention training on my own was getting boring.

On the other hand, I'd get to visit a magical island filled with immortal warrior women that have been training for dozens of years at least. Themyscira was also one of two places I wanted to explore the most, with the other being Atlantis, even if I did have to listen to their rules or get kicked off.

…Which meant if I got bored of Themyscira I could make them let me leave at any time…

I guess I wasn't all that torn about an answer after all.

"Okay then. When do we leave?"

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