Gods of Samrasa

The palace of King Samrasa stood at the highest point in the city. It overlooked events fully and had many balconies. When he was a boy, Nendas wanted to live in a palace. Yet, it had changed. Now he yearned for the halls of the Hasafa Clan household.

But he would never return.

The walls were now covered in gold and silver, placed into the walls. The results of Samrasa's conquests. Both abroad and taken from the homes and temples of those who resisted. As he had walked through the palace, Nendas thought he'd like it better the old way.

But no matter.

The gold and silver on these walls could be taken off to pay to deal with the crisis. It was a far better use for it than placing it in temples, where they had to get the Gods' approval. Now it could be called for directly by the King.

Entering the throne room, Nendas hated it outright.

King Samrasa sat on a throne in a room designed to make him appear far larger than he was. His eyes were bright blue, and it was said he saw more than most men. Now, however, age was beginning to take hold of him. And all the armored guards could not distract from such.

"Welcome, Nendas," said King Samrasa. "I'm told you have a report on the renegades of Elranor."

"A report," said Nendas. "And a vision from Jaha, the Goddess of Peace." If this didn't work, Nendas was a dead man. But he'd make his enemies bleed before he went out.

"Explain it, then," said Samrasa.

Nendas explained everything, albeit through a certain lens. He slanted the truth in a way he knew Samrasa would expect him to. It was a common way of destroying Gods that were not offensive to the people's minds. Jaha had been spared this long because her massive nature made her... harmless.*

However, Samrasa would want her destroyed sooner or later as well, as was right. Nendas had to cut his ties and make himself useful before that happened.

"From there, we completed our mission and returned here?" Finished Nendas.

"And you are quite certain of this vision, Nendas?" asked Samrasa, looking up at the images of demons and gods. Each showed Samrasa putting them down with his spear as though he had personally thrust it into them.

While symbolic, future generations would have it as their truth.

"Yes, I am certain," said Nendas. "I believe that the remaining Gods are preparing to move on. They intend to entrust the future to us now that we are ready to live without false idols. The vision is a clear indication of this."

Nendas had reported the vision as was; one didn't lie about what they saw in a god's vision. But he could misinterpret it to mean what he wanted it to mean. The people had been doing that for decades.

"...I see," said Samrasa. "Well, this is very fortunate timing. It will go a long way to helping us purge the less savory gods. Especially the most reasonable ones who support us.

"The Hasafa, however, may not share your optimistic viewpoint."

The Hasafa, his cursed clan. This was his opportunity. "My uncle, has plans to pretend as though Sarafi is Jaha incarnate, I believe. The means of shoring up support behind his reign." No need to mention his uncle being dragged to hell; Samrasa might have him executed for that.

"I suppose you have an alternative," said Samrasa.

"There is one King," said Nenedas. "Declare my service to Jaha null and void."

Samrasa shifted. "...That is an unprecedented request, Nendas."

"You have the authority now," said Nendas. "Jaha has ceded her authority to you; you are the mortal manifestation of that will. She has no further need of my services and understands that it was beyond my control.

"With the gods departing this plane and ceding control to men, why should I continue? Why should I have my future sacrificed for them?"

"This is a very difficult thing you are asking, Nendas," said Samrasa. "Even if the gods would allow it, the precedent could be dangerous. Perhaps circumstances were different, but not as they are now."

Samrasa wanted him to do something. "How would circumstances have to be different?"

"The only times the avatar of Jaha is allowed to depart their service is if the clan needs them more," said Samrasa. "For instance, when there is no legitimate heir. Or when the Clan has become too few.

"But the Hasafa Clan is at its zenith."

Something that had been waiting a very long time within Nendas came to the forefront, and he went very still. "...It's zenith? Is that what you call it?"

Samrasa looked at him in bemusement. "Hmm?"

"...King Samrasa, may I speak plainly?" asked Nendas.

"You may," said Samrasa.

Nendas thought about how to say this and just used the truth. "You promised years ago to arrange my return to the Hasafa Clan. I have served you loyally this entire time. I have done everything you asked of me and exceeded what was required.

"Now, my clan is verging on collapse.

"The treasury is empty, wasted on lavish parties. My Uncle spends more time here currying favor than in his lands. Even now, he has taken merchant loans to pay off other loans. If things continue like this, the Hasafa cannot serve you effectively."

Samrasa turned away. "We will discuss this matter another time."

"My clan will die if something is not done," said Nendas. "What other time is there?

"I ask that you honor your promise and allow me to return to my clan. Or failing that, admit that you cannot honor it."

Samrasa went still and finally laughed scornfully. "...So, we are to drop pretenses, then?

"Very well. The truth is that I never once intended to honor my word."

Nendas said nothing. He had no intention of giving the man the dignity of a response. Samrasa took this for stunned silence. "You're far too trusting, really, Nendas. Breaking promises is only 'evil' when people know you are doing it. You should have listened more to your friend, Taha. You might have had some understanding of what was going on.

"I used you to discredit the faith of Jaha and then for a few other things. And I'll admit, as tools went, you were a clumsy one. Trying to exile the priests of Elranor instead of executing them was a near disaster. One Ralign set right."

He was going on for a while. Nendas was looking forward to slashing out his eyes. When he finished, he'd castrate the old bastard. Samrasa wouldn't have eyes at the end of this; he wouldn't have ears or a tongue.

Nendas would cut off his hands at the wrist, his feet below the ankles, and his nose. It would be slow to maximize the agony he felt. But he wouldn't kill him; no, he'd heal him and leave him to wallow in horror and misery. The thoughts clashed against something.

Samrasa moved toward him, looking somewhat irritated. "Of course, removing Ralign was a necessity. I've found that keeping one main subordinate in hand for too long can be dangerous. All the more with how he was beginning to warm up to you. He becomes less harsh with the imbeciles who still worship the gods.

"I used you for my purposes and have found you other uses. But I see no reason why I should endanger a more valuable subordinate for your sake. After all, who else could run the Hasafa Clan into the ground like Munsuf. And all this time, he imagines I'll declare him my heir.

"I'm terribly sorry to tell you this since you were so fond of him. But the Samrasa you believe in never even existed."

Nendas sighed as he tried to go for his sword. Now was the time for his revenge. Yet his hand would not move. "...Are you done embarrassing yourself?"

Dead silence, and now it was Samrasa who looked surprised.

"I have never believed in you, Samrasa," said Nendas.

"What?" said Samrasa, shocked.

"I did not believe in you for the merest fraction of an instant," explained Nendas. "At no point during our association did I put even the smallest amount of trust or faith in you? Not once did I feel even the smallest amount of affection or respect for you as a person.

"I know you murdered my Father, Samrasa. I know that you're sleeping with my Uncle while having men crucified for the same sin. I knew that the assassination attempt by Kulat on you was a lie from the moment it happened. And you don't have to kill me to keep it a secret; everyone else knows as well.

"All the servants in this palace know what you do when you think no one is watching. All your hired soldiers know as well. The walls have ears, and the woods have eyes."

"That's impossible!" said Samrasa. "You couldn't-"

"It's inevitable," said Nendas. "Ordinary people are a lot smarter than you give them credit for, and they have been here a lot longer than I have. The servants pretend not to notice because you could have them chopped into tiny pieces. The nobles pretended not to notice because doing so would be an act of rebellion. Or because they don't care.

"And the soldiers?

"They either serve money or the King.

"But you aren't the King, Samrasa.

"I'm terribly sorry since you seem to think he's a mask you can put on and take off at any time. But the truth is, the King people admire is only someone you are pretending to be. You are neither wise nor strong.

"You are but a feeble shadow of the one who earned their admiration long ago. Soon to be hidden in the darkness, you called down."

And it was at this point that Samrasa was standing in front of a very dangerous young man. One ample reason to want him dead. His guards were near at hand but needed to be farther. By the time they came in, Nendas could put a sword through him. "...Why are you here?"

"I wanted to allow you to set right some of what you had done wrong," said Nendas, but it was Jaha now. She was speaking through him. "That is all. You can still turn back, you know. Call off your atrocities against the gods chosen and reform.

"There is time to make up for Ralign-"

"Get out of my palace!" snarled Samrasa.

Nendas sought to lunge forward and make good on his throat. But his body would not move, found himself turning and walking away by a will other than his own. "As you wish."

Walking out the door, he was surrounded by many guards with drawn blades. Nendas looked to Kalif. He was a Dinisian mercenary and bore paler skin. "...Is this done by the orders of Samrasa?"

"I'm not sure he is in a state to give orders, and I've got a feeling he'll want you dead soon enough," said Kalif. "I thought you'd kill him after he sent my men out. Though I would have executed you if you had."

He'd have failed. Nendas would kill him, him, and his whole worthless race! "Kalif, is it?" asked Nendas. "Would you say this city is in a stable position?"

"Fairly, yes," said Kalif. "But, sooner or later, something will flare up with this kind of action on the King's part. My job is to act as the Captain of his guard."

"Have you heard what happened to Ralign?" asked Nendas.

"Some of it, yeah," said Kalif. "He was killed in battle."

"No," said Nendas. "I killed him myself on King Samrasa's orders. It was decided that he had grown beyond Samrasa's control. Ralign had served him since he was a boy for years. I've served him for years."

Silence.

"Are you trying to get me to betray my employer?" asked Kalif.

"Is your employer the King of Tarasif? Or Tarasif itself?" asked Nendas.

"They are the same," said Kalif.

"Are they?" asked Nendas. "The King is a man the Gods have given divine authority. Samrasa himself has never denied this when convenient. The King uses the money he taxes from the citizens of Tarasif; he spends their lives in war. If a King rules only for himself and destroys the temples to the gods he is meant to serve, is he legitimate?"

"What exactly do you want me to do?" asked Kalif.

"Nothing," said Nendas. "Remain alert and do as you think is right as you have thus far. Samrasa is nearly seventy and will die in a decade or two. And without any heir, everything he built will collapse.

"Unless something is done to save it.

"I probably won't live much longer after this. So I will simply tell you to have faith.

"I don't have any left." Then, setting a hand on Kalif's shoulder, he moved past, unstopped.

And as he left the palace, walking as a hollow shell, rage overtook him.

He could have killed Samrasa right there! No one could have stopped him! But instead, he'd walked out at the hour when he could have won! Now he was sure to die, and Samrasa would live!

Curse Jaha and curse the day he'd ever taken her mark. Nendas made a mental note to give it to Taha and Rokas when he saw them. However, as he walked, he was in no mood to do so. He didn't want to speak to anyone at all.

It had never been anything but a desperate hope.

Samrasa stood nothing to gain by restoring Nendas to his old position of power. Nothing other than repaying Nendas for his long service. And why do that when he could be murdered once he'd outlived his usefulness?

After all, the Hasafa had been staunchly loyal under Uncle.

Uncle.

Uncle had thought he'd gotten very well out of all this, didn't he? He thought he'd beaten Nendas. But now, he was screaming in perpetual agony, enduring horrors beyond imagining. It was too good for him; he deserved far worse. They all did!

If he could damn this worthless city to hell and everyone in it, he'd do it!

However, as he walked the streets, he saw Sarafi and her friend, one of those she often walked with.

"Wow, Sarafi, that necklace you have is so pretty!" said the friend. She looked to be the daughter of a noble.

Why should Nendas die alone? He could make sure no one was left to pray for Uncle. Kill Sarafi and end his line. Murder all his supporters too.

He could probably kill the worthless little bitch fairly easily. Lure her away, and snap her neck. Then he could go after Uncle. Kill him too, put out his eyes. He'd kill them all and carve out their eyes! There wouldn't be a single Hasafa left when he was done with them!

"I know, right?" said Safari. "I got it from a vendor from the east. You can't find gems like this anywhere else."

Nendas tailed after her. She was, what, fourteen? Naive and stupid to come out here without an escort. "...Sarafi.

"It'll be easy. I can just get her alone. Drive a knife into her, kill her. Make her pay. Make the Hasafa pay for what they did to him, to Father, the cowards.

"I can hide the body, I can..." Except his hand would not move. Nendas could feel her cursed presence trying to keep him back. Jaha held him in place, and her will was bent on stopping him. "Let go of me! She's going to be set up to supplant you anyway! Let go! Would that you were a mortal! I would rip the eyes from your head!"

Why wasn't her power broken yet?! Why did she still hold him?!

"...Later," Nendas murdered. "I'll kill her later when you can't interfere anymore. You won't stop me again. I will kill you eventually, too, and no one will ever know. No one."

Taking the money he had, he went looking for Taha. She and Rokas usually hung out at one of several different inns. Checking each of them, however, left Nendas finding none of them. All of a sudden, however, the winds howled like a hurricane. It was so strong it blew open all the shutters on the windows around him.

For a time, it went silent, but Nendas saw the clouds gathering. Drawn in the same direction, he got to one of the other taverns. "Where is Taha? She should have finished by now, and I need... I need to give her the pay I owe her." Opening the door, he saw the barkeep. "You... were Taha drinking here?"

"She was, but..." the man shifted.

"But what?"

"There was this strange woman, blonde and from the east," said the man. "There were all these winds like a hurricane, and the woman claimed to be a god. Tamar, I think. She challenged Taha to a fight, and they left."

"A god..." mused Nendas. "No. No, they're fading. They can't interfere here. Not anymore." What was he talking about, half-delusional mutterings even he didn't believe? It was a mere habit spoken to fill an emptiness. He felt energies within him, now at war with him.

"Are you alright?" asked the man.

"I'm fine," said Nendas, bile rising in his throat. Turning, he dropped the pay he had been given and fell to one knee. Staggering out of the inn, he fell against the wall. "...I need to get out of sight. I can't afford to let these health issues appear in public. People will say I'm cursed.

"But I'm not cursed..."

"You are correct," said a voice.

Nendas looked up and around and saw no one. Even as he did, he felt his heart beating faster and faster. He choked and staggered toward the voice, choking back vomit. "What?"

"You are not cursed. Your own malice cages you," said the voice. "It is only now that the bars you put around your heart have begun to make you sick."

Nendas was staggering now, finding himself in the woods. He knew he shouldn't be walking alone, but now he didn't know how to return to the road. "...You, who are you? What is this place?

"Where am I?"

The trees were different, and they hurt his eyes to look at. All of them hurt his eyes to look at. Nendas struggled, choking as he fell to the ground, and finally vomited over the ground. Even as he did, however, he felt even worse. His hands were shaking as he tried to get away.

Get away to where?

"You already know who I am, Avatar of Jaha," said the voice.

The mention of his slavery enraged him. "SHUT UP!!

"I'll kill you; I'll kill you if you call me that!"

"You are in a position to kill no one," said the voice. "You can hardly stand; your body and spirit are rebelling against you. The hatred consumed your heart has twisted your mind so you can hardly see straight.

"It's a sight undeserving of hatred."

"My eyes..." Nendas found his vision fading as he collapsed to the ground. He must have hit a slope because he rolled down something. "Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

"You ask to be left alone?" asked the voice. "Yet surely you have been deliberately calling down our wrath all this time."

"What the hell would you know?!" snarled Nendas. "You branded me, sent her inside me, took away everything that was mine by right! I never wanted to serve any of you!"

"You seem to have taken your revenge quite effectively, Nendas," said the voice.

"Never," snarled Nendas as he stood. "Not even for an instant.

"Father was murdered because of her! And my life was sacrificed to her as a political means! I have no regrets! Given the same choices again, I would have made them all!"

"What you're saying and what you are doing are two very different things, Nendas," said the voice. "You speak as if you have no regrets but are killing yourself. Your very nature abhors your actions.

"Calm yourself. Your violent impulses are at war with the energies that infuse you."

"You made my nature... it is as much a slave to the Gods as I was meant to be..." said Nendas, stumbling forward. "I... I will never die for Jaha!"

"No, you will not," said the voice. "You are dying for yourself as we speak.

Nendas' strength left him. He collapsed to the ground, lying there and feeling dead. "I... I can't see.

"Nothing...

"Nothing ever goes as planned..."

His vision darkened.

However, it returned to him suddenly, and Nendas felt... odd. The pain was gone, and his body was smaller. His arms and legs felt different, and he... he was coated in something, like a coat. Before him, he saw bars, but his vision was different, sharper. He also wasn't seeing forward but in two different directions. The bars were in both directions.

And a hand was reaching toward him.

On instinct, Nendas lashed out. Yet it was with his face, and he hit the hand with...

Was that a beak?

Had he been put under some spell? If he had, the hand was withdrawn. He saw before him...

Her.

Jaha, not as a statue but in the flesh, or more than flesh. Her pure white glowing eyes, her black hair. It was like what he'd seen when he'd first been pledged to her, only far worse. He recoiled but found he had nowhere to recoil to.

Nendas was standing on something.

A perch?

"So, you're awake then," said Jaha.

Nendas tried to shout curses, but they came out only as a screech.

"I don't blame you, you know," said Jaha. "You never really knew what you were doing. And you were so confused and consumed by hatred. It must have seemed like another form of slavery to you. Even speaking through you was painful for me after a point."

Jaha reached through the cage to try and touch him. Nendas lashed out at her, and his beak struck her hand. A scratch was made, and blood drip descended, but she did not flinch.

"Please, please don't peck me. I'm not going to hurt you, and I won't be able to feed you if you do," said Jaha. Nendas tried again. "Nendas, please, I can't let you out. Not when you're like this. You'll only hurt yourself if you do that. You're not like you were before, Nendas. You um... you've changed.

"See?"

She brought up a mirror, and Nendas looked at himself.

Nendas saw in it a hawk caged within a cell. He had brown feathers and was the sort used for hunting. Samrasa had a similar hawk.

"You'd been driven mad, Nendas," said Jaha. "You weren't aware of your surroundings at all, and... when that tree fell on you, you were near dead.

"But, um, that doesn't matter. Because now you're here with me. You'll be safe here and can't hurt yourself or those around you anymore."

Nendas screamed, and the sound was that of a caged bird.