Chapter Six: Failing Faith
Later that day, Nendas kneeled in prayer within a shrine, regretful at being kept away. He'd had to go far away from the palace to find a shrine to Jaha, which was indeed in poor shape. Vines were starting to grow upward around it, and he simply did not have the time to go there as much as he'd liked. It appeared to be a general-purpose shrine to any god.
And once again, Nendas found himself devoid of real motivation. He knew what he was here to say, but how did you approach a God with it? He supposed he ought to just get to the point.
"Queen Jaha..." said Nendas. "I know this may sound bad, but... could you not perform any miracles through me? I mean, I want to help other people, but... King Samrasa disapproves; if I openly defy him, we could face serious problems. I might even be killed, depending on how things are going.
"I mean, I'm not suggesting you shouldn't help people, but perhaps... perhaps you could try helping people indirectly. Like, in a miraculous way, Samrasa can explain it away as not a miracle.
"I-"
The door opened, and Taha stepped in. "Hey, Nendas."
"Yes?" asked Nendas, irritated. "What is it? I told you not to interrupt me while I was praying?"
"Oh, right," said Taha. "Sorry to mess with your alone time with your imaginary friend."
"Imaginary... she's been worshipped by my clan for centuries!" said Nendas. "We've followed her since the day my ancestor, Narhan Hasafa, came to this land from the Rammasian Civil War. And he did so in the company of an Incarnation of the Land. Parting ways with him, he saw Jaha in a vision and aided her in bringing peace to the area around Tarasif.
"Eventually, he resolved that his Clan should serve her all their days. And when he married a noblewoman of the land, Jaha entered into her."
"Wait, which Incarnation of the Land was this?" asked Taha.
"I think ah, I think it was Kantora," said Nendas. "She was the one who finalized the borders between the nations that would be kept. And she also slew many of the spawn of Typhos that had infested these lands. In doing so, she restored the natural order.
"She was killed by Adraculus the Hydra when he poisoned her with one of his fangs. She survived the poison, but Laevian cursed her with a bad illness that finished her off."
"Wait a minute, Laevian is the Goddess of the Wilds," said Taha. "Why assassinate your own puppet ruler?"
"The Incarnation of the Land is meant to ensure harmony. Harmony between mortals and the spirits," said Nendas. "It was an appointment organized by Alchara, the Goddess of Harmony, in the past ages, though it took on a power of its own. Laevian, however, finds the very idea of harmony offensive. It was originally conceived of by the Goddess Alchara, her sister, who she hates. She is also very ruthless.
"I imagine she regarded Kantora's actions as an infringement on her territory. So she killed her. That is all the justification Laevian would need. Although Elranor might have to give her the go-ahead. The God Triumvirate never recognized the Incarnation of the Land. They have killed them several times in the past.*
"Harmony is a concept they dislike."
"Right, well, that's a very nice story, but it doesn't make Jaha real," said Taha with a shrug.
"You overstep yourself," said Nendas. "Think what you will of the Gods, but don't bring your disrespect into their domain."
"Right, right, sorry," said Taha, stepping out.
Nendas moved in, satisfied he had set borders. "Now, were you successful?"
"I got us an apartment with the finances provided," said Taha. "I also secured us a stipend from the King."
Nendas nodded. "I see. That was fast.
"How did you get the stipend?"
"Oh, I just asked the right people," said Taha. "I figured out who was in charge and made a few requests that would be inconvenient for them to refuse. It's just a little inconvenient; it's not like I'm threatening them.
"First thing you gotta do when you go to a new place is this; You learn where the power is. Once you understand the source of power, you can channel it. You can have everything you want once you learn to channel it."
Nendas paused and glanced back to the statue. "I'll speak to you later, Jaha."
And he moved to sit down and wait for Rokas. He had specifically decided not to stay in the palace. His given reason had been that he wanted to see more of the city and did not want to impose. This was true, but he also suspected Samrasa would have an easier time purging people in his own palace.
Nendas did not want to think that he might do such a thing in violation of the guest's rights. But it was best to be prepared.
"So, why are you talking to your imaginary friends so much anyway?" asked Taha.
"Jaha is not imaginary," said Nendas. "I can feel her presence in my mind at all times. Her presence within me has changed how I see and interact with the world. And she has watched over the Hasafa Clan for literal centuries."
"Just because she's the imaginary friend of many people doesn't make her real," said Taha.
"She literally branded me," said Nendas, pointing to his forehead. "This symbol on my hand was put on my forehead by her."
"By her priests, you mean," said Taha with a shrug.
"No, I mean her," said Nendas. "There was a glowing light, and it happened."
"Eh, you probably were hallucinating while the priests branded you," said Taha.
"Jaha doesn't have any priests! I am the priest!" said Nendas.
"Fine, then, while your Uncle branded you," said Taha. "You said yourself there's a period of time you can't account for."
"Taha, I have finished leaving offerings at the shrine spirit of this place," said Rokas, coming back. "They seem very... tense."
"What do you mean 'tense'?" asked Taha. "Spirits don't exist, Rokas. It's just people misinterpreting natural occurrences."
"Well then, who keeps demons at bay?" asked Nendas.
"Demons don't exist either," said Taha.
"So... you don't believe that any kind of greater being exists than mortals?" asked Nendas, realizing the scope of her nonbelief.
"Well, obviously. It's the only possible conclusion," said Taha.
"But what about magic?" asked Nendas. "You saw me performing dozens upon dozens of miracles. If King Samrasa hadn't ordered I stop, I'd be doing them right now."
"Might not want to say that so loudly, but, yeah, that's just magic," said Taha.
"Just magic?" asked Nendas. So Taha believed magic existed independent of gods, spirits, and demons? "Well then, where did the magic come from?"
"Psychic manifestations of the collective unconscious," said Taha.
Nendas hadn't understood a word of that. "I'm sorry?"
"People all have a little bit of innate psychic power in them," said Taha. "A lot of people believe in a certain thing, so their thoughts naturally gather together. These thoughts naturally form together into forces. These forces, in turn, have certain people who can tap into them."
That was the most ridiculous thing Nendas had ever heard of. So ridiculous that finding a way to disprove it would take some work. "I see.
"So this force of yours, do you believe it can think?"
"Well, I guess it has a general will, more the will of the worshippers made manifest," said Taha. "But it is a very chaotic and undirected sort of will. When you're speaking to Jaha, you're actually speaking to your interpretation of her."
"But you just said Jaha didn't exist," said Nendas. "You keep changing your theory. Do you believe gods exist or don't you?"
"I'm willing to admit that there might be psychic manifestations of mortal will," said Taha.
"But those manifestations have traits, don't they?" asked Nendas. "Not every psychic manifestation has the same priorities or method of operation?"
"Yes. I guess," said Taha.
"And they have a will of sorts, even if individual worshippers effect that will," pressed Nendas.
"Yes, what about it?" asked Taha.
"So they're gods then," said Nendas.
"No, they're psychic manifestations of the collective unconscious," said Taha.
"What you're calling a 'psychic manifestation' is just a god by another name," said Nendas. "The most you've done is create an alternate interpretation for how they are created. One which isn't even a very good one. Even uninhabited places have nature spirits. Do you think the will of dead rocks elected the Incarnation of the Land?"
"What even is a collective unconscious?" asked Rokas. "You've never told me."
Taha shifted. "It's um... the unconscious of the human race as a whole."
"Yes, but what is it? How do you define it?" asked Nendas.
"It's common to mortals and represents ancestral memory and experience," said Taha. "I read the book a while ago in the library."
"Okay, but how is this collective unconscious maintained?" asked Nendas. "I presume it requires some kind of communication. Can it forget things? How did it form? Why do cultures that have never come into contact with one another come up with the same ideas? Do all animal species possess such an unconscious? Or just us?
"If it was just us, what makes us special?"
"Look, it doesn't matter how the psychic manifestations operate anyway. Or the collective unconscious, for that matter," said Taha flatly.
"Why not?" asked Nendas.
"Because gods aren't real. So it's the only possible explanation," said Taha.
Nendas put his face in his hands. "Taha, your stalwart faith in absolute nothingness puts my devotion to Jaha to shame."
"I try," laughed Taha.*
Taha didn't care, realized Nendas.
She'd dismissed the Gods as unimportant before deciding they did not exist. So, suggesting they might not be real was no blow to her ego. Philosophy and theology seemed to be an amusement for her. It was something she enjoyed discussing. But the truth had no real meaning or effect on her. It might as well have been a rainbow. Pretty, but unsubstantial and an illusion. But then, nothing had meaning in her worldview, did it?
"In that case, Taha, what would you say the Incarnation of the Land was?" asked Rokas.
"Hmm, what do you mean?" asked Taha.
"Well, you keep saying that Avatars of Gods is an elaborate hallucination," said Rokas. "What do you think the Incarnation of the Land was? There was only one of them, and they could commune with any spirit, demon, or deity.
"And they were an entity created by the will of the nature spirits at Alchara's suggestion. The idea was to have someone to negotiate between mortals and spirits."
"Fictional," said Taha. "Someone just made all the stories up or attributed them all to different figures."
"Tarasif was named after the last Incarnation of the Land," noted Nendas.
"So?" asked Taha. "That doesn't mean he existed. None of us know what happened back when people were writing about. All we do know is some guy named Tarasif, who may or may not have existed, was important enough to name a city after."
"We know he existed. He destroyed the largest armada the world had ever seen by himself," said Rokas. "Everyone agrees there was a great army sent by ship from the northern land of Acreus*. And everyone agrees he destroyed the armada."
"My guess is that the historians he was paying said he did that," said Taha. "And somebody else did all the real work. Taking credit for other people's work is an ancient profession. It has a long and glorious history.
"A lie agreed upon by enough may as well be true.
"Hey, what happened to him anyway?"
"He was murdered by the King of Kulat, Saspin," said Nendas, who had studied the subject. "Saspin desired to recreate the Old Empire by force of arms and was close to doing so. Tarasif, however, believed wars of aggressive expansion were immoral. He used his powers to force the various Kings not to fight one another.
"And he convinced Barden to raise a great mountain range between Tarasif and the sea. It saved the lands from the Babarassian's raids for years."
"What an idiot," laughed Taha.
"Taha, how can you say that? He ensured a lasting peace for decades," said Rokas.
"Yeah, at the expense of his neck," said Taha. "He was stupid enough to tell the Kings of different nations, no. With an attitude like that, he'd make nothing but enemies. Getting Barden to raise those mountains also cut off all trade to the south.
"My guess is that this place became a heck of a lot poorer after he did that.
"How'd they kill him anyway?"
Nendas paused. "Well, Tarasif used his powers to get the spirits to hamper the economy of any society that went on the offensive. Initially, this benefitted Saspin, who was fighting mostly defensive wars. But, Saspin wanted to go on the offensive against his weakened neighbors. His goal was to recreate the Old Empire.
"So he made a deal with Melchious."
Everything went cold. Taha shuddered and looked around, and Rokas said a prayer. "Melchious?"
Hey, come on, let's uh... let's not tell horror stories. Everybody knows Melchious isn't real."
"Real or not, they put those markings on every door to ward him off at night," said Nendas. He motioned to the symbol of a bird within a cage over the door to this shrine. "And Melchious gave Saspin the means to kill his friend.
"The Incarnation of the Land died, and the war resumed."
Taha paused. "So how'd he do it, though?"
"Why would you need to ask that?" asked Nendas. "He's an ordinary man with no real divine support who made enemies of many Kings. Or are you admitting he had some?"
"Cute," said Taha. "Just answer the question."
"Melchious shot him in the back with a poisoned arrow," said Rokas.
"That's it?" asked Taha, sounding disappointed.
"Do you know how difficult it is to sneak up on a man for whom nature itself is a protector and friend?" asked Nendas, feeling like it was not him speaking. "Stories say the Tarasif could hear everything for miles and see in all directions at once. Nobody knows how Melchious got behind him.
"Usually, the Incarnation of the Land gets killed by stealth. Their power was so great that few could cross them. Although, come to think of it, they have a tendency to die young."
"Well, what do you expect?" asked Taha. "There's no consistent foreign policy. Neither is there any consistent system of succession. So if the Incarnation makes a decision you don't like, kill him and run the same decision.
"Although, I'd put him in a position to be killed and then just not help him. Keep my hands clean and all that. Why did they stop appearing?"
"No one knows," said Nendas. "Although his death led to one of our history's blood-drenched conflicts. With all the murder and burning, he was probably killed when he was only a child—several dozen times.
"During the fighting, many of the Kings took the opportunity to destroy his temples. They killed his priests and blackened his name. His temples were repurposed to worship the true gods. Within a decade, there simply wasn't anyone looking for his return. Certainly, no one would know how to recognize him or teach him to command his power.
"For all we know, he's still out there and doesn't know it."
"I have never understood why there was such a fast turnaround," noted Rokas.
"My own belief is that the Incarnation of the Land died from a lack of self-reflection," said Nendas. He felt Jaha speaking through him. "Each Incarnation was a completely different person with different beliefs, gender, and race. As a result, he has no core precincts.
"A man who wishes to follow a god has a set of rules by which to live his life. But the Incarnation of the Land had no commandments and little in the way of a consistent ideology.
"Only a vague idea that harmony and balance were wonderful and people should live in peace.
"Which was wonderful. Until you have to tell a group of peasants who live close to starvation, they have to let some of their fields grow wild. Or tell some fishermen whose livelihood is at stake they have to cut back.
"When a famine strikes, who are they going to blame?
"It also didn't help that they had a tendency to side with nature. We have many records of their decisions, dating back as far as the days of before the God War. They always spoke of compromise until it came time for the spirits or elves to give something up. That worked when we were fighting to survive every minute and were utterly beholden to them. But over time, humans gained enough power to manage on their own.
"Yet we were always treated as a defeated power that had supposedly been set up for our benefit. This was long after the point where they became the stronger. After the elves fell from power, the Incarnation of the Land was a source of legitimacy for Kings. His endorsement allowed them to establish themselves.
"However, as Kings began to favor one god or another, things changed. Eventually, he overstepped himself one too many times and was destroyed.
"If the carnage that followed had not been so horrific, he would be remembered as the villain of that story. Jaha, meanwhile, remains the Goddess of Peace. She is not foolish enough to throw her weight around. She allows people to make their own choices and simply shifts things to make them work out."
"It might have been much less horrific if he allowed the battle to happen earlier," noted Rokas. "The bloodbaths proceeding Samrasa were a result of decades of unfulfilled grudges. It might have been avoided if men had been allowed to battle one another on a smaller scale."
"Well, that whole thing about seeing for miles is probably embellishment. All to make the thing seem less anticlimactic," said Taha dismissively. "Still, I don't get why Tarasif would be so hostile to religion if they named themselves after a high priest."
"Times change," said Nendas. "And the spirits and gods do not always have the same interests at heart. Many of the Gods favored reuniting the land by force."
And then there was a flash and a roar of confusion from the city. It could be heard even within the palace.
"What was that?" asked Rokas.
"A lightning bolt?" asked Taha. "Pretty odd weather to get one in broad daylight."
"Let's go have a look," said Nendas.
Quickly, they hurried out of the palace gates and down the hill into the streets. As they walked, they saw people running this way and that. There was an air of panic around them.
"Did you hear?" asked a man. "An emissary of the King has been assassinated!"
"What?" said his friend.
"It's true; he was stabbed to death while trying to meet with the servants of Barden," said the man. "A worshipper of Elranor stabbed him to death right before being fried by lightning."
"Why would Elranor fire a lightning bolt to kill one of his own?" asked the first.
"Well, he was taking his name in vain," said the second. "That's what many of the folk in the meeting thought. I don't see what the worshippers of Elranor would have to gain by it, anyway."
"Shh, not so loud," said the first. "Nobody will want us talking about them after this. Say nothing too favorable."
Nendas grabbed the man by the shoulder. "You, who was killed?"
"I uh... the brother of the Head of the Hasafa Clan, I think," said the man.
Father was...
Were there any other members of the Hasafa Clan here? There had to be? "Where did this happen? Where is the body?"
"They took it off to the palace, I think," said the man.
"Taha, Rokas, stay here!" said Nendas.
"Are you sure-" began Taha.
"Stay here," said Nendas. "If I don't come back... Nevermind." And he raced off.
Had Samrasa had him killed? Had Uncle been a part of this? If so, Nendas might be killed next. He wouldn't want Taha or Rokas getting caught up in all this. On some level, Nendas knew going to the palace was a bad idea. But he had to see it done.
Arriving at the gates, he learned where the body was and went to it. But as he reached the door, he was stopped.
"Hold on a moment; you're the Avatar of Jaha," said the guard. "Just what business do you think you have in the palace? Especially after what you're kind-"
"My father may be dead. I am not the Avatar of Jaha, not now," said Nendas. "Please, I... the man who was assassinated may have been my Father."
The guard halted. "I'll ask if you can be allowed in to see the body, but no promises. Keep an eye on him."
The guard entered, and Nendas waited, keeping a hand on his sword. If he was attacked here, he would go down fighting. But soon, the guard returned. "You've been given permission. Follow me."
Nendas nodded. "Thank you."
Nendas was not ready for this.
He did not want to see what lay within these halls. But he knew it was something he had to face. So he walked forward behind the guard and came to a morgue. It was a cold, gray room where the body was lying in repose beneath a cloth. Ralign was there, and Nendas at once guessed he was seeking to confirm the death. What other reason could he have?
"Well, if it isn't, the Avatar of Jaha will come to grace us," said Ralign. "Amazing how much good work you religious types do, isn't it?"
Nendas moved past Ralign, ignoring the words. Coming to the cloth, he took hold of it. For a moment, he was silent, composed himself, and drew it off. There, he saw the fact of his father, wounded by a dagger to the heart.
Nendas nodded, confirming his suspicion. He felt bile rising in his throat, but he forced himself to stay calm. His father was dead. Someone assassinated him, very likely someone in this very palace.
"Is that all you have to say?" asked Ralign.
When Nendas did not answer, Ralign seemed about to flare up. Instead, he left. Which meant he had some order which precluded picking a fight.
"Is this him?" asked the guard, glancing at Ralign.
"Yes," said Nendas. "Yes, that is my Father. I will have to... I will have to write to Uncle about this. How did he die? What happened?" He must demonstrate some weakness to maintain appearances.
"A worshipper of Elranor killed him," said the guard. "He shouted praises to Elranor as he stabbed him from the crowd. When that happened, a lightning bolt struck him. The priests say it was a punishment from Zeya for blasphemy, but I think it was tying up loose ends.
"You can't get a confession out of a corpse."
Demonstrate weakness. "What was going on there?" murmured Nendas. "He said he was sure he could come to a mutually beneficial arrangement."
"I'm afraid our enemies aren't interested in any arrangement," said a voice.
Nendas looked up and saw Samrasa arriving. No doubt he'd heard of what had happened and had come to manipulate him. But why would he have Father murdered? He did not, necessarily. He might have simply been taking advantage of events.
"King Samrasa?" asked Nendas, letting his voice sound vulnerable.
"Yes, I just heard about it," said Samrasa. "Your father was a good man, Nendas. I never wanted it to come to this, but... this is our world."
"What is to be done?" asked Nendas, returning his voice to resolve.
"The Temple of Elranor must pay for this atrocity," said Samrasa. "As King, my authority is absolute and was granted initially by the gods. To assassinate one of my messengers is heresy of the worst kind."
"Are we certain the Temple was involved?" asked Nendas. "Father always spoke highly of them." Samrasa sighed in what no doubt was meant to make him appear wise and lofty. "...I'm afraid that even if they are not involved, we have passed the point of negotiations. The people must know that to kill a King's messenger is to court death. If there is no reprisal for this atrocity, Order will cease.
"And how else do you explain the convenient murder of the assassin after the blow was dealt."
Nendas shifted and looked down "...I cannot."
Let Samrasa think that Nendas was his puppet. Let him think and wait until the time was right to strike back. Samrasa seemed to buy it and put a hand on his shoulder, and Nendas kept in check his revulsion. "You must take charge of this, Nendas. It is your duty, as a son, as an Avatar of a God, and as a warrior."
"Should not a more experienced warrior undertake the task?" asked Nendas, voice holding some of his doubt.
"Ralign cannot be trusted with so delicate a matter," said Samrasa. "He has many uses, but he lacks the sophistication for such a venture. You must go to the Temple of Elranor and clear the priests from it. None must remain to taint Tarasif any further.
"Naturally, however, I would gladly provide you with troops-"
"I don't need them," said Nendas simply. He would not be Samrasa's puppet; he would fulfill the order in his own way and avert the atrocity. An idea already came to him. "I will handle this duty personally or die in the attempt."
Samrasa looked at him in surprise. "That is very bold of you. But what makes you think you can handle this alone?"
"I will not be going alone," said Nendas. "I simply do not need the help of those trained by Ralign. They may do something reckless."
Samrasa paused. "...You're a very brave young man. But the temple of Elranor has armed guards. You will be going to your death."
"We shall see," said Nendas. "May I go?"
"Of course," said Samrasa.
Nendas went at once out the door to search for Taha and Rokas. He found Ralign waiting with a number of his men. He looked at Nendas. "Oh look, one weak female is off to avenge another!
"Are you in need of some actual warriors?"
It was at that moment Nendas realized the truth. Ralign was completely under Samrasa's control. Samrasa had offered him something; Nendas wasn't sure what. Power, or the ability to do whatever he wanted, and in return, Ralign had given up himself. No doubt Samrasa had told Ralign that Nendas would be used and disposed of. Or perhaps Ralign merely assumed at much.
Pinning the blame for the atrocity on Jaha would be a logical way to deflect responsibility. Even so, the stain of sin was still on Samrasa for this.
"No, I'm handling this myself," said Nendas. "I'd like to warn you, Ralign. This isn't going to last." And the words were not his own.
"What isn't? Your spine?" said Ralign.
"No, the way you're acting," said Jaha through Nendas. "Your actions are wounding others, and you are wounding yourself by wounding them. Even now, you are cutting your own spirit with blades of sneering contempt. The Gods will not forever tolerate your actions.
"I suggest you contemplate what you have done and what you intend to do."
"Just who the hell do you think you are, boy?" said Ralign. "I am the Captain of the King's guard; you're nothing more than a curiosity!"
"You're not talking to the boy," said Nendas's voice. "I suggest you think about your path in life before it is too late."
And Nendas was himself again. And he realized that Ralign had almost certainly had a hand in murdering his father. And now, as he came to pay respects, Ralign had mocked and insulted his memory. Rage bubbled up within him. "...There will come a day, Ralign, when you will have lost all protection. On that day, you will scoff and sneer as you always have. Heedless of warnings, heedless of your own conscience.
"On that day...
"Remember me. Remember today. This is the reason."
And Nendas walked past.
Thinking to himself, he calculated that Ralign was more trouble than he was worth. No doubt Samrasa was looking into replacing him even now with someone. Nendas needed only to make himself a valuable asset. Then he'd appear to be falling into Samrasa's sway, and he would become that replacement.
That would allow him to kill Ralign. And also to strike at Samrasa at a later date. Jaha, however, noted that his priority should not be killing Ralign or Samrasa but peace. Nendas took the point and wondered what part Uncle had in this?
Father's death would be...
It would be a terrible blow to the Hasafa Clan. Had Uncle really been a part of it? If so, why? Jealousy? Why would any man strike off his right hand?
It did not matter. If Uncle had been part of it, he would die as well. He had played the part of a kin slaying and murdered his own brother. Worst of all, the act had not served the Hasafa in any way.
There would be a payment for this crime.
But not yet.
As it turned out, Nendas met Taha and Rokas outside the gates of the palace. Why had they followed him here? Curiosity?
It did not matter.
"Nendas, you're back," said Rokas. "What happened? Are you alright?"
"My Father is dead," said Nendas. "We're going to the Temple of Elranor. I'll explain on the way."
Nendas would not weep. And he would mourn...
He would mourn later.
*This is true.
Anoa the Bright killed one of them, Sokas, quite brutally during the Founding of Harlenor. There was, apparently, a very personal vendetta between them. But I lack records on the subject here.
I believe, however, that it was during his later years of rule.
*I genuinely wonder if Taha believed in anyone or anything other than herself.
*Acreus, I am told, was a powerful hegemony of the Amazons that long ago attempted to invade Tarasif by sea. It was built to the north and west of Acoria, Mother's homeland.
Mother was there when the fleet launched, however. She assures me it was nowhere near the size of the Estalian fleet. Indeed, it was more of a large raid. The numbers, I suppose, were exaggerated by later accounts.
Taha's delusions thus had a grain of truth, as often seems to be the case.