chapter 17
Estelle’s bedroom had become quite familiar by now.
The Saint of Modenas was lying face down on the bed as usual, her back turned to me. After checking her condition through her slightly exposed nape, I started preparing for treatment, just like always.
“The new medicine I prescribed might have been a bit strong, so you could’ve felt dizzy or something. Was it too uncomfortable or anything like that?”
“…No. It was a little dizzying, but manageable.”
“…Huh?”
As I was putting on medical gloves and prepping the tools, an unexpected response came.
“W-Why are you looking at me like that? I said it was dizzying but manageable!”
“Oh, I see. That’s good, then.”
Her attitude was noticeably different today.
Normally, by this point, she’d yank the sheets over her head or throw something off the table in protest. But for some reason, the Saint was cooperative today.
“Okay then, let’s check your temperature first. Can you stretch out your arm?”
“…Here.”
Her arm slid toward me without any resistance.
“Did you… eat something weird? This is strange. I told the shrine maidens so many times to be careful with your diet.”
“S-Shut up! Just take my temperature already. And answer my question!”
Her sudden shift in attitude was confusing, but having a compliant patient wasn’t a bad thing. I gently placed the thermometer on her frail wrist.
“I-I’ve got a question. Are all the people outside like you?”
“Like me? What do you mean?”
“Are all the people outside the island… are they all as tight-lipped as you?”
A cooperative demeanor, a voice laced with guilt, and trembling not from hostility but something else entirely—her sudden change in attitude finally made sense.
“Ramute told you, didn’t she? I told her not to. Why did she go and do that?”
“Stop spouting nonsense and just answer me. Why… why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I thought it would help your treatment to keep it that way. And honestly, any other healer in my position would’ve done the same.”
“That’s ridiculous! You always say it yourself—treatment works best when there’s honesty….”
“You told me I had to be honest with you. But I never said I’d be honest with you. Healers always want to know every detail about a patient’s condition, but they don’t go around sharing everything about themselves.”
“Why not, though?”
“So you don’t start worrying about me or feeling concerned.”
“…Huh?”
Hearing my response, forced out by her persistence, the Saint let out a sigh, like air escaping a balloon.
“A healer is supposed to feel compassion for their patient, but they must never become the object of compassion. ‘A healer must earn the patient’s absolute trust, but they should never let themselves become a target of pity’—page 54 of A Beginner’s Guide to the Healer’s Mindset.“
“Still, I mean…”
“Even if I spent all night arguing with my spouse and felt like my head was going to explode, I’d have to act completely fine in front of a patient. That’s what a healer does. Only then will the patient think, ‘Ah, I’m being treated in the most objective, unaffected way possible,’ and feel at ease.”
“Spouse… argument?”
“Oh, sorry. That’s a bit premature, huh. For both you and me.”
“And… there’s more, isn’t there?”
“More?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot since hearing from Ramute. The reason you just gave… that’s not the whole story, is it?”
The saint’s limbs trembled uncontrollably under the weight of her guilt, but her eyes, visible through the mask, held a relatively firm light. Judging by those eyes, she already knew the real reason I had hidden the truth. Yet, even so, she wanted to hear it directly from my lips.
“Yeah, there’s actually a more important reason why I kept it from you,” I said, realizing she wouldn’t let it go until I confessed.
I had no choice but to speak up.
“I didn’t want you to fall into fear.”
“Me… afraid?”
“Come on, let’s be honest. Deep down, you were kind of hoping, weren’t you? That maybe—just maybe—that little brat who’s too young and has an annoying way of talking but carries Orpheus’ bloodline might somehow, against all odds, be able to cure your illness?”
“T-That’s…”
“There’s nothing wrong with hoping, you know. It’s a good sign when a patient has hope. It helps the healing process. But think about it—what would’ve happened if you, after finally daring to hope despite being so used to giving up from years of suffering, found out that the healer you were relying on was coughing up blood every day?”
“…Ah.”
“I’m guessing you’d feel uneasy, right? And if that uneasiness grew, you might’ve started thinking, ‘What if this kid gets so sick they give up halfway and run off? What will I do then?’ I wanted to stop that from happening.”
“So… even this was for me…”
“It’s not really *for
“I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for myself. Of course, if you happen to find your salvation in the process, I won’t stop that,” I said.
“Did you… cough up blood again today?”
“A little.”
“…”
“Still, it’s gotten a lot better compared to the beginning. The human body eventually adapts, you know.”
It was true that I was adapting to the pain. And honestly, even though this young body was slower to adjust to the suffering, it wasn’t a huge problem.
‘In my past life, I once endured poisoning for an entire year just to increase my resistance to toxins. Compared to that, this pain is nothing.’
Thanks to the rough life I lived before, I could confidently say I was better than most when it came to withstanding pain. Whether having my pain tolerance set so high was a blessing or a curse, I wasn’t sure, but at least in this case, it worked in my favor.
“Uwaang!”
“…Huh?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
I had a high pain tolerance but my ability to empathize with others’ sadness wasn’t anything special, so I couldn’t think of anything to say while the saint suddenly burst into tears in front of me.
“…I was wrong. I didn’t know anything and just got mad at you… I’m sorry. I know I can’t be forgiven, but I’m still sorry.”
I thought about comforting her as she blamed herself and apologized, but honestly, I didn’t feel like that was something I was suited for. So, I decided to focus on what I could do instead.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m not sure what you’re sorry for, but it’s fine, let’s just leave it at that.”
I used a cooling spell to soothe the heat on her skin and prescribed some herbs to boost her internal energy.
“Stop overthinking it and get some rest. You’ll feel a bit better when you wake up.”
After tucking the sobbing saint into bed and covering her with the sheets, today’s treatment was over.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Um…”
Just as I was about to open the door and leave the room, her voice stopped me.
“Thank you… so much…”
“It’s nice that you’ve calmed down, but the formal speech really doesn’t suit you.”
“S-Sorry… I mean, sorry.”
“I didn’t say that to make you apologize, it’s fine. Just get some rest.”
Leaving her, who seemed to have regained some calm, I left the bedroom. It was a night filled with the hope that future treatments might get a little easier.
One week later.
“If you’re curious about something, just ask.”
“Uh, okay?”
At my sudden comment, Estel’s eyes, which had been moving busily with the needle, flickered.
“Stop acting like a scared rabbit, just looking around. If you’re curious, ask. Is this what you’re wondering about?”
“Ugh… yeah. Actually, the way you use that… I’ve never seen anything like it before…”
With a slight flick of my finger, the needle that had been stuck in Estel’s wrist just moments ago began to glow and dance in the air. I started using acupuncture in Estel’s treatment two days ago, and it seemed like she was fascinated by the needle’s strange movements and radiant light.
“Is this really that amazing?”
“Yeah! It’s amazing. And it’s so pretty! It’s just a regular-looking needle, but with just one motion from you, it flies through the air and shines with such beautiful light. It’s incredible.”
If someone asked me what I liked the most about Estel since she started changing, without hesitation, I’d say it was the fact that she now expresses her feelings openly.
Because of the trust she had developed in me, she started to honestly share what she was feeling, and because of that, it became much easier for me to assess her condition.
“Hey… do all people in the outside world use those needles like you do, making them fly around or controlling them however they want?”
“No. People do use needles for treatments sometimes, but I don’t think anyone else uses them like I do.”
“Not even your father?”
“Yeah. I don’t think my dad could do something like this.”
“…So, who did you learn that from?”
“I didn’t really learn it from anyone. It just kind of happened that I can do it.”
“Ah, I see. Since you’re so smart, I guess you taught yourself how to do it. That’s amazing!”
Estel’s eyes, visible through her mask, wavered side to side, but she nodded and accepted my explanation.
When it comes to patients, it’s best to be as honest as possible, but…
‘I can’t exactly say, “Actually, this is a gift from my past life, when I used to cut off the heads of filthy nobles like it was nothing. And this is one of those gifts. Hehe.”’
That would be a bit too much to explain.
“Want me to show you something fun?”
“Something fun?”
I’d been wondering how to bring out what I had prepared, but since Estel had shown interest in the needles, it seemed like a smooth chance to perform my little demonstration.
Clink clink.
I pulled out a large acupuncture case I had prepared in advance from my bag, and hundreds of needles spilled across the table.
“…What’s this?”
“When I’m treating someone, I only use the tools I’m familiar with, but for things like this, I can use equipment I’m not as used to.”
“Things like this?”
“Yeah, things like this.”
I took a deep breath, and the moment my breath escaped my lips, an aura connected to each needle scattered across the table.
“Wooow!”
As I moved my right wrist, hundreds of needles filled the air, dancing around. Estel, witnessing the needles glowing in various colors, couldn’t help but gasp in awe with childlike wonder in her eyes.
“How are you doing this? Are you a magician?”
“Magic? No way. The essence of this is the same acupuncture I use on you. It’s connecting and controlling through the aura. The sparkles are just a side effect.”
The little performance to entertain Estel lasted about ten minutes, and then I made the final move for the grand finale.
“Wow!”The hundreds of needles, each grouped turned into falling meteors and disappeared outside the window.
“…Huh, wow…”
Estel’s eyes, visible through her mask, were glazed over with a dazed look, but since the performance wasn’t over yet, I gestured toward the window.
“The window? You want me to go there?”
I nodded, and she hesitantly walked toward the window.
“…!”
The moment she saw the view outside, Estel froze, unable to say a word.
In the sky beyond the window, the purple evening primroses, which only bloomed along the coast of Modenas, were in full bloom.
The needles, which had just moments ago been in the shape of meteors, had transformed into flowers filling the sky and filling Estel’s vision.
“…H-how did you know?”
“I heard it from the high priest. He said you used to love walking in the garden with evening primroses before you had to lie down because of your illness. And what I found out secretly is that this isn’t all of it.”
It was about time I had to leave, so I packed my bag and stood up. Unable to contain the overwhelming emotion, I turned to Estel, whose delicate shoulders were trembling, and said:
“Happy birthday.”