Gacha Gacha Hero

“Thanks for all of your help with the gas cans you two.”

Tasha set an industrial gas can down with a *Thunk*. The carriage was parked off the side of the road.

“Once we fill up we should be at Kaseihgaeu by the end of the day. Are you sure that you don’t mind using your summons to help refill the cans?” Tasha asked.

Luke and Ash were crouched down next to a steam powered compressor. Luke attached a hose to the empty can.

Ash was filling the burner with charcoal. “It’s no trouble,” he replied. “I’ve got plenty more to spare.”

“We owe you for giving us a ride after all.” Luke added.

“I’ll see if I can find us something to eat for lunch.” Tasha walked back to the carriage. She began digging through her dry goods.

Ave brought a bench out from inside the cab and set it down. She took a seat. Eins jumped up and sat down beside her. Tasha removed two packages. She began passing out barley biscuits and dried dates to the others.

Eins accepted a biscuit between its paws and started gnawing at a corner of the dry loaf.

“That’s a cute dog you have there.” Tasha reached up and scratched Eins behind the ears. Eins wagged its tail.

“He’s our little miracle.” Ave said.

“He’s so well behaved. He didn’t poop in the cab at all during the trip. Did you train him?”

“No, he was already… domesticated when we found him.”

“Found him?”

“Adopted him.”

“Does he know any tricks?”

“Do you have any cheese?”

“No.”

“Then he doesn’t know any tricks.” Ave shrugged.

“I’ve been meaning to ask.” Tasha scooched closer to Ave on the bench. “What is that?”

“What is what?”

“That smell.” Tasha *Sniffed* over Ave’s shoulder.

“The wet dog smell?” Ave frowned.

“No. The other smell. Like lavender.”

“Oh! You must mean this.” Ave pulled the small compact case from her backpack. “It’s a skin creme I was given.”

“Can I take a look? Oh yes. No wonder your elbows look so smooth. This stuff is really good.”

Ave raised an eyebrow. “Is it? I wouldn’t really know. I’ve never really used cosmetics before.”

“What is your regular routine?” Tasha asked.

“I don’t really have one.”

Tasha stopped everything. “You mean to tell me you’ve been out in the sun all this time without ANY skin care products!?”

“Yes…”

Tasha slammed her hand on the wall of the carriage. A secret compartment popped open. Dozens of tubes, tinctures, and tiny tuns were revealed.

“That, just, will not do.” She leaned in close to Ave.

#

Ash and Luke carried the last of the gas cans back to the carriage.

“How can a container that’s full of nothing but air be so heavy.” Ash complained as they walked.

“That’s because you’re confusing ambient air pressure with air volume. The study of air pressure is actually a major component of atmospheric alchemy. The increase or decrease in air pressure can often be one of the first indicators of an approaching storm.” Luke rambled.

Ash held up a hand. “Luke, Luke, Luke, you know that I do not understand weather. I am a simple man. I burn things.”

“Did you know that when warm air from the coastline meets cold air coming down from the mountains the difference in temperature can create water spouts capable of sucking seawater almost 50 kilometers into the air?”

“Stop trying to educate me!”

Luke and Ash finished loading the gas can into the carriage. They walked back around to the side of the wagon.

Ave was sprawled out on the bench. Her feet were resting in Tasha’s lap. Tasha was carefully massaging lotion into her heel and ankle.

“Hey. Are you getting your nails done while we’re doing all of the work?” Ash mocked.

“No. I’m helping Tasha test out her skin care products.” Ave replied.

“That’s right. And looking at those dark baggy circles under your eyes you could use some skin care as well.” Tasha observed.

“These aren’t bags under my eyes. That’s coal dust.” Ash furiously wiped his face.

Tasha frowned. “You’re not getting back into my carriage like that.”

“What’s the problem?”

“You’re covered in charcoal dust.”

“I’m always covered in charcoal dust!”

“I can’t risk having my apocrypha getting dirty.”

“What do you want me to do?” Ash put his hands on his hips.

“Wait!” Tasha ran back to the carriage. She rummaged through her junk. “I have the perfect thing.”

#

“What do I do now?” Ash shouted.

He was standing off to the side of the carriage. Three metal rods had been placed in the ground to suspend an aluminum bucket over his head. A latex curtain was also attached to the rods.

“It’s an outdoor shower.” Tasha yelled back.

“I don’t know what that is.” Ash moaned.

“Pull the handle, the water will fall down from the container. Use that to wash off.”

“You want me to get naked and wash myself on the side of the road!?” Ash shrieked.

“It’s fine. You have the curtain.” Tasha assured.

“This curtain has holes in it.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“I can see sunlight coming through.”

“Just shower around the holes.”

“Nobody is going to look Ash. Hurry up so we can get going again.” Ave encouraged.

“Fine. Luke!” Ash shouted at Luke. “Hold my clothes for me. In case this curtain falls apart.” Ash dangled his shirt out from behind the curtain.

#

Water splashed on Ash as it trickled out of the bucket above him.

“Oooh! That’s cold.” Ash stuck his head out from behind the curtain. “Ave, do you have any more of that goose soap?”

“No.” Ave shouted back at him.

“Damn.” Ash went back to showering.

“Goose soap?” Tasha asked.

“It’s cleaner than it sounds.” Ave shrugged.

“Can you add more water Luke?” Ash requested.

“Got it.” Luke replied. He set his handful of Ash’s clothes on the ground. He picked up a bucket of water from a nearby stack. Luke stood up on his tip toes so that he could pour the water in the reservoir above the shower.

*Thunk*Splash*

Luke looked over his shoulder. The other buckets of water had tipped over and spilled on Ash’s clothes.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

#

Ash finished washing himself off. “What now?”

“Huh?” Tasha replied.

“How do I dry off?”

“Oh? Oh… right. Let me, find you a towel.”

Tasha climbed inside her carriage. She began rummaging around.

Ash peeked out from behind the curtain. “Hey! What are you guys doing?”

Luke and Ave looked up.

“We were examining your shoes.” Luke called.

“Why?”

“They’re not very good.” Ave responded.

“These shoes are crap.” Tasha stumbled back out of the carriage. “How are you expecting to go on a long journey with shoes like these?”

“They’re fine.” Ash insisted.

“They’ve got holes in them.”

“That’s for ventilation.”

“I can peel the sole off of the bottom.” Ave demonstrated.

“They were all I could grab when I ran out of the house.” Ash fumed.

“Why do they smell like turnips?” Tasha asked.

“That's just me. I smell like turnips.”

“Tasha is right Ash. If we’re going to keep traveling you need better shoes.”

“Arrrgh!” Ash vented. He closed his eyes. There was a *Pop*. A collection of shoes rained down on the grass in front of him.

“There. You see. I’ve summoned a whole new wardrobe.”

Tasha scrutinized the shoes. “Did you summon all of these? Why are they all left sided?”

“I’ll make it work. Now will someone please get me a towel!?” Ash exasperated.

Tasha *Snapped* her fingers. “Oh right. No towels. Will a scarf work?” She held up a long roll of knitting.

*Neeeyah*Yip*Yip*Yip*

Eins ears pricked up.

“What was that?” Tasha asked.

“Some kind of animal call? It didn’t quite sound like a wolf.” Ave turned her head. She scanned the forest on the side of the road.

“Oh no, no, no. Everyone back in the cab.” Eins barked.

Tasha pointed at Eins. “Did your dog just…”

Ave held up her hands. “It’s a… miracle” she shrugged.

“Come on, come on. We need to go.” Eins hopped in place.

“What’s the matter?” Ave asked.

“Shadowbeasts!” Eins whimpered.

“Hey! What’s everyone whispering about?” Ash called from the shower.

“Ash! We have to leave!” Ave yelled.

“Why?”

*Yip*Yip*Nyiiih*

Something skittered out from the bushes fifty meters behind them on the road. It had the shape of a large marten with a long slender body, four short legs, and a pointed head. It was covered with reddish brown fur with lighter tufts around its ears and neck. Each digit was tipped with a tiny claw. The creature’s body was roughly half a meter long, but a tail twice as long snaked behind it as it crawled across the grass.

The creature crouched down and sniffed the road.

Tasha and Ave craned their necks out around the edge of the carriage.

“What is that? A weasel?” Tasha asked.

“It’s pretty small. Only a little bigger than Eins. It doesn’t look very dangerous.” Ave added.

Eins crouched low and tried to whisper.

“What is that?” Ash called out.

The beast's head snapped up to stare at them. The creature *Hissed* revealing a row of razor sharp fangs.

*Yip*Yip*

It yiped.

*Yip*Yip* *Yip*Yip* *Yip*Yip*

Came the response from the bushes.

A second, then a third, and a fourth Shadowbeast scurried out of the bushes behind the first. The four weasel creatures fell into formation next to each other. They *Hissed* in unison.

“Sweet serpent skins! Throw me the scarf!” Ash yelled.

#

Luke finished hanging Ash’s clothes out on a line attached to the other side of the carriage.

He turned his head. “What is everyone yelling about now?”

Luke walked around to the other side. “Ash if you’re still upset about your shoes…”

Four half meter mustelids raised their meter long tails straight up into the air. They let out a *Hiss* and charged towards Luke.

“Aaah!” Luke screamed in terror.

“Luke! Start pushing the carriage!” Ave screamed at him.

Tasha was already inside starting the engine.

Eins shivered on the doorstep. Ave heaved the bench and the rest of Tasha’s belongings inside the cab.

“Ash! Get down here! We have to go.”

“I’m still not dry!” Ash desperately rubbed himself with the scarf.

The Shadowbeasts scurried closer on their stubby legs. They were only twenty meters away now. Their tails waved behind them like furry flags.

“Screw it.” Ash grabbed the shower curtain, wrapped it around his body, and tied it off with the scarf. He ran back towards the carriage. He tried to grab a pair of shoes on the way. “Merciful mites they are all left sided.” He grabbed any shoes that were in his reach.

Luke put his shoulder against the carriage and shoved. The vehicle lurched forward. Tasha hit the accelerator. Gas filled the engine. The carriage picked up speed and started moving down the road. Ave clambered inside.

Luke started running. “It’s moving. Let’s get out of…” *Slam*

The carriage stopped moving. Luke bounced off of the wooden exterior.

“What happened?” he rubbed his head.

Luke looked around to the front. The carriage was stalled out at the bottom of a sharp hill.

Luke groaned. He started pushing again. Ave started pushing from the side against the doorframe.

Ash ran up next to Luke.

“Can you push any faster?” he asked.

Luke heaved. “I’m going as fast as I can. Try to slow them down.”

Ash looked at the approaching Shadowbeasts. They were spreading out. Trying to flank the carriage.

“Take this you monsters.” He threw a shoe at them.

*Yip*Yip*

A monster jumped to the side.

“And this.” he threw another.

*Yip*Yip*

“Chew on this!”

The Ahuitzotl snatched the shoe out of the air. It tore it to pieces on the ground.

“The shoes aren’t working any more!” Ash exclaimed.

“We’re almost to the top of the hill.” Luke grunted with effort. “Get inside.”

Ash ran to the door. His wet bare feet slipped on the dirty road. Ash landed face first on the ground.

“Ash!” Ave reached backwards to try and grab him.

The fastest Ahuitzotl curved around and rushed at her from the side.

Instead of biting her the monster whipped its tail at Ave. Five curved talons extended from the end of the creature’s tail. The talon-tipped meter long tail ripped through the air like a flail.

“Ave!” Eins grabbed the hem of her shirt with its teeth and yanked.

Ave was pulled back. The talons sliced past and missed her by millimeters. The tail-flail gouged five long gashes into the side of the vehicle. The door of the carriage was hit and exploded into splinters. Ave rolled backwards into the cab.

Ash covered his face and rolled to the side. He inadvertently rolled under the body of the carriage.

As the vehicle reached the top of the hill the Ash was directly in the path of the large rear driving wheel. Luke grabbed the edge of the shower curtain and yanked him to the side.

The attacking Shadowbeast turned around for another strike. It pivoted on its short legs and spun its entire body. It brought its tail around for another swing at the two boys.

“Up you go!” Luke launched Ash into the air. Ash landed with a *Thump* on the roof of the carriage. Luke performed a standing leap. The monster's tail cut through the air right where his legs had been. At the height of his jump Luke got the tip of one of his feet onto the top of the roof. But his other foot slid off of the slanted surface. Luke lost his balance.

“Grab on!” Ash threw one end of his scarf belt at Luke. Luke grabbed the garment and hauled himself the rest of the way onto the roof.

The weasel monster’s tail *Whistled* through the empty air below him.

The boys caught their breath as they gripped the edges of the roof.

“Luke. Where are my clothes?” Ash asked.

Luke pointed. Ash turned to see his clothes dangling from a clothesline behind the carriage.

“Well, at least they’ll be dry.”

Another Ahuitzotl leapt up and shredded Ash’s clothes with its tail talons.

#

“Everybody hold on!” Tasha shouted.

The carriage coasted over the top of the hill. It began rolling down the slope on the other side. Tasha cranked the accelerator. The vehicle started to speed up.

“There’s no way they can keep up with us now.” Luke yelled from the roof.

The group of Shadowbeasts reached the top of the hill. They hissed in anger as they watched the carriage speed away. The fastest Ahuitzotl hopped into the air, it tucked its stubby legs close to its chest, then curled its meter long tail round its body in a cirlce. When it hit the ground it started to roll. The creature used its curled tail like a fuzzy tire. The other Shadowbeasts followed the first. The group of them rolled down the hill after the carriage.

“Oh well… they’re much faster now.” Luke frowned.

“Grab my belt!” Ash shouted. “I’m going to try and slow them down.”

Ash stood up and scampered to the back of the roof. Luke grabbed his scarf belt with one hand and the side of the roof with the other.

Ash closed his eyes and concentrated.

*Ka-Poof*

A stack of hay bales four wide and three tall appeared in the middle of the road behind them.

*Screee-*

*Crunch*

The first Ahuitzotl slammed into the wall. A stray shower of straw shot into the air. The other Shadowbeasts tilted to the side and banked around the wall.

“Wow. They’re even faster when they’re not running on their stubby little legs.” Luke observed.

“I can see that. Hold on. I’ll try to get the rest of them.” Ash concentrated again.

*Zap*

Another pile of hay bales appeared. The Shadowbeasts danced around it.

*Shoof*

Another. They dodged again.

“They’re getting closer…”

“I know. I know.” Ash panicked.

A Shadowbeast rolled up next to the carriage. The long talons on its tail gouged out divots in the road.

*Shoof-Thud*

A hay bale fell out of the sky and pinned it to the ground.

“Good shot!” Luke shouted to Ash.

“Thanks.”

*Thud*Thud*Thud*

Another hay bale fell down on the other side of the road. Then into a tree. Then a bush off to the side.

*Ka-Thud*

One bundle of straw bounced off of the roof right next to Luke.

“What’s going on out there?” Tasha shouted from the back of the carriage.

“Ash is either saving us or killing us.” Ave murmured. She crawled to the front of the cab and looked out the driving window.

“Hay!”

“What is it?” Tasha asked.

“No! Hay!” Ave pointed out the window. A wall of hay bales was stacked up in the road directly ahead of them.

Tasha slammed the driving rudder to the side. The carriage turned at the last second.

“Where did that come from?” Tasha demanded.

“I was trying to hit the monsters but I can’t always aim them when I'm summoning so many!” Ash shouted from above.

“Here comes another one.” Ave yelled.

Tasha turned again. The carriage barely missed another hay stack.

Hay bales rained down from the sky. Tasha did her best to dodge the approaching walls of chaff in their way.

The Shadowbeasts rolled closer to the cart.

Ash tried to hit another one with a bale. *Gacha*

As the straw package flew out of the sky towards it the Ahuitzotl leapt into the air. As it jumped it flipped it’s body forward. Its long tail snapped around like a whip. The razor sharp talons attached to the end of the tail sliced through the air and cut the bale of hay in half. *Ka-chif*

The monster landed back on its feet and immediately started rolling after the carriage again.

“The hay isn’t slowing them down anymore.” Ash called down to the cab. “Eins!”

“What?” The dog poked its head out of the broken door.

“Set the monsters on fire!”

“I don’t want to…” Eins whimpered.

“What!?” Ash shouted.

“I’m scared. *Sniff* I don’t like fighting.” Eins cried. Tears rolled down the dog’s fuzzy cheeks.

“But I… you can…”

“Ash don’t make Eins burn anything if he doesn’t want to.” Ave pulled Eins back inside.

“But they’re monsters.” Ash rebuffed.

“You’re the only monster right now.”

“I… I’m sorry Eins.” Ash shouted down. “You don’t have to set anything on fire if you don’t want to.”

“Thank *Sniff* you.” Eins whimpered.

“It’s fine.” Ash stood back up. He looked over his shoulder. He whispered to himself.

#

Another stack of straw popped into existence in the road ahead.

“I can’t dodge this one!” Tasha warned the others. She death-gripped the rudder.

The carriage *Crashed* into the wall. Ave, Eins, Tasha, and Tasha’s junk jounced around inside of the cab. Ash’s foot slipped off the roof. He tumbled off the back of the carriage. Luke tightened his grip on the scarf that was wrapped around Ash’s waist. He managed to prevent Ash from falling down onto the driving wheel. Ash dangled over the side.

One of the front wheels ramped off of a bale. *Crunch* The entire carriage began to tilt to the left on only two wheels.

The rest of the bales exploded and plastered the wagon with hay.

Tasha kept a fierce grip on the handle of the rudder. “That sounded like we broke something. How bad is the damage?” she asked.

Ave poked her head out of the door. She looked at the front wheel spinning in the air. “We’re on two wheels. The front wheel that took the hit is cracked. The weight of all your junk is balancing the carriage for now.”

“Aaah!” Ash shouted as he dangled from the back.

Now that there were no obstacles in the road the pack of Shadowbeasts were closing in.

“Also Ash is about to be eaten.” Ave knitted her brows.

“I have an idea. It’s risky but we need all of our wheels for it to work. I also need to be able to see.” Tasha said.

The driving window was besmeared with straw.

“Do you have any crystals?” Ave asked.

Tasha hit one of the side walls of the cab. A secret compartment opened up. Colorful gems glittered inside.

“I need an orange.” Ave said.

Tasha tossed one at her. Ave caught it in the air.

Ave put a hand on the edge of the doorframe. “I’m going to fix the wheel. Tasha, hold it steady. Eins clear the driving window.” Ave said.

“By myself?” the dog asked.

“You can do it. Luke and Ash stay where you are.”

“Aaah!” Ash shouted.

“I can hold him for now.” Luke yelled. “But the monsters are getting closer.”

“I’ll clear the window.” Eins panicked.

“Good. I’ll take care of the wheel. I need about a minute.” Ave grabbed a spanner from the junk pile. She climbed out of the broken door and stood on the tilted side of the carriage.

“Don’t fall off.” Tasha called after her.

“Don’t worry.” Ave smiled.

Ave climbed out the door onto the side of the tilted carriage. She put a foot on the front wheel’s axle, planted her spanner on the bolt, and spun the tool with a flick of her wrist.

#

One of the Ahuitzotls raced up next to the tilted vehicle. It used its tail as a spring and bounced into the air right towards Ash.

“Not my legs!”

Ash curled into a ball. He swung his legs away from the monsters snapping fangs.

The Ahuitzotls missed, hit the ground, and started chasing them again.

Luke strained as his arm was jerked back and forth.

“Ash! Stop moving around so much.”

“I can’t! If I stop moving I get eaten!” Ash yelled back.

#

Eins hustled to the front of the cab. The dog popped the latch on the driving window. With all of the strength in its tiny body Eins tried to push the window out. The window refused to budge.

“Come on little arms. You can do this!” Eins encouraged.

The window moved a centimeter, then another. Eins tried to sweep some hay off of the outside of the window.

The carriage hit a pebble and shook. Eins fell back. The window snapped shut again.

“Curse this adorable body of mine!”

#

Ave plucked a bolt out of the wheel’s hub. She eyed the road ahead. The hill was flattening out. The carriage was losing speed. She could see the path in front of them start to curve between some low foothills.

“We’re running out of straight road.” She called back.

“Then you better hurry up!” Tasha replied.

Ave wrenched the last bolt free.

An Ahuitzotl rolled up to the side of the carriage. Using its spinning tail it catapulted itself into the air. The monster landed on the wheel. It lashed out with its tail.

Ave ducked down. The creature’s talons slammed against the wooden wall next to her. The Shadowbeast arched its tail back like a scorpion’s stinger and prepared to strike again.

Ave slid her leg in between the small gap between the wheel and the carriage.

“No free rides!”

She kicked with all her strength. The hub of the wheel *Squeaked* and then spun off of the axel and into the air. The Shadowbeast lunged. Its body became tangled in the spokes of the wheel. The wheel hit the ground, along with its involuntary passenger, and started spinning down the side of the road.

Momentum carried the wheel off the side of the road and into the foothills. There was a *Wet Crunch* as the wheel struck a large rock.

#

Eins tried again to wedge a paw out in front of the driving window. The canine’s stubby arm pulled back with only a tiny bit of straw.

Eins looked around in a panic. “Ah! There’s not enough room in here!” Eins turned and frowned at Tasha. “Sorry. I can’t think of anything else.”

“Huh?” Tasha blinked.

Eins sucked in some air. A tiny blue wick of flame appeared in front of the dog’s nose. Eins turned its muzzle to the driving window.

*Ka-FwooshBOOM*

Burning hay exploded away from the front of the carriage. Ave covered her face with her free hand. Luke closed his eyes. Ash watched the cinders fly overhead.

“That one wasn’t my fault!” He yelled.

#

Tasha looked out the shattered front driving window.

“There’s a turn coming up! We need to get the carriage tilted back the right direction. Are you ready?” she shouted.

“We’re ready!” Ave replied. She gripped the edge of the roof with one hand. She raised her other hand with the orange crystal in it.

“Everybody tilt to the right!” Tasha instructed.

Ave leaned as far as she could. Eins scampered to the side of the cab. Luke tried to shift his body. The carriage shook but didn’t tilt back over.

“Luke!” Ash called. “You’re going to have to swing me!”

“Got it!” Luke replied. With an exhausted grunt he heaved his arm to the side. Ash bumped along the outside of the carriage until he was moved from the back side to the right side.

As Ash and Ave shifted their weight the whole carriage started to tilt back down.

As the vehicle righted itself Ave concentrated.

*Sizzle*KA-zap*

Ave swung her arm down. A distinctively ordinary wheel began to manifest in her hand. Ave slammed the wheel onto the axel right at the moment it materialized. She let the wheel go. A half second later the right side of the carriage tilted firmly back into place.

The wheel kissed the road and the entire carriage shuddered with the force of the embrace.

#

Tasha pushed a false panel. The panel slid aside and revealed a hidden lever. She clenched her teeth.

“Everyone back inside!”

Ave pulled Ash in through the door. Luke swung in after them.

Tasha pulled the lever. The carriage engine *Screamed* in surprise. The coupling attaching the gas cans to the engine shattered. The pressurized air inside-

*Sonic BOOM*

The hay bales on the road behind the carriage disintegrated. The shockwave blasted the leaves off of the nearby trees.

The screaming Shadowbeasts that were spinning after the carriage were sent soaring into the sky.

☆Twinkle☆

#

The carriage and its contents rocketed down the road at ludicrous speed.

Tasha steered like her life depended on it.