Gacha Gacha Hero

The first rays of dawn tilted over the treetops of the forest. The crickets stopped their nightly chirps. The songbirds began their morning peeps.

In the living room of Belbuk’s Cabin four humans, a dog, and a goose sat in a quiet circle around the dining table.

Belbuk took a long sip from her coffee cup. The ends of her braids dangled loosely over her shoulders. “Good job you two.” her voice cracked. She nodded at Ash and Ave. “That was a long night but you did well.”

Ash sat slumped at the edge of the table. His shoulders drooped down. Ash tried to lift one hand. His arm shook weakly. “I did so much grinding and mashing. I don’t think I can lift my arms.”

Ave looked up. There were dark circles under her eyes. She reached across the table and slid Ash’s coffee cup closer to him.

“Thank you.” Ash said. He tilted his whole body over and stuck his tongue in the coffee.

*Sluuurp*

Ave turned to Luke. “How are you feeling?”

Luke sat propped up in a chair. A blanket was thrown over his legs. Eins sat on his shoulder and wiped his forehead with a hand towel.

“Better.” Luke replied. “I’m not vomiting anymore. So that’s nice.”

*Sluuurp*Cough*Cough*

Ash sputtered coffee onto the table. He tilted his head back up. “Okay. So now that we’ve finished, will you tell us what was so important about these?” Ash used his chin to point at the center of the table.

There were thirty six clear glass potion bottles arranged in the center of the table. The bottles were roughly five centimeters tall and four centimeters wide. They were topped with a thick stopper of melted wax. Each one was filled with a droplet of golden liquid suspended in a solution of alcohol. Despite the viscosity of the liquid the droplets refused to float to the top or sink to the bottom of the bottles. They stayed suspended right in the middle.

*Sigh* “Knowledge unto ignorance.” Belbuk groaned. “As I said before Luke here summoned a healing potion with his powers. But not any potion. The best potion. The absolute best possible.”

Luke gulped. “I don’t feel very healed.”

“That’s because when you were in the Capital you took a different potion. The Guild of Alchemists has one hundred and fifty one registered potions. But there are also five secret potions. After you became the Royal Summoner I’m positive that you were given one of the five. The Ajax Elixir.”

“What is that?” Ash asked.

“The Ajax Elixir increases the imbibers inherent investments. Your strength, your speed, your vitality, all of it is pushed to its maximum potential. The Ajax Elixir makes a person very sturdy, very hard to kill.”

“That makes a lot of sense.” Ave added. “In the Capital there were protocols in place if one of the Royal family were injured or poisoned. But none for the Royal Summoner.”

“So they made me a super human for… insurance?” Luke frowned.

“Pretty much.” Belbuk shrugged.

Ash rotated his head with effort. “This whole time you’ve been so strong because of magic juice?” he said to Luke.

“Jealous?” Belbuk smirked.

“…shut up.” Ash slouched some more.

Eins spoke up. “Forgive me if I don’t understand human biology, but shouldn’t the elixir have made him immune to… that.” The dog pointed to one of Luke’s puke buckets.

“Normally yes. Luke should be immune to any mundane poison or disease. But the secret elixirs have a certain… miscibility. They do not mix well with each other.” Belbuk stood up and walked over to Luke. She used one hand to take his pulse. “In this case the Ajax Elixir inside you gives you resistance to contamination. So when the Gilgamesh Elixir tried to enter your body and heal your wounds it was rejected. Violently.”

“Gilgamesh Elixir. So that’s what this is called.” Ave examined one of the bottles on the table.

Belbuk nodded. “That’s right. The sixth secret elixir.”

“I thought you said there were only five.”

“I did.” Belbuk pushed her braids back behind her neck. “And then there’s this one. Which is super duper double secret.”

“Should… you be telling us this?” Ave raised an eyebrow.

“Oh no. The Guild of Alchemists has very severe consequences for people that talk about the secret elixirs. So keep it to yourselves. Okay?” *Wink*

“Is this going to happen to me any time I drink a potion?” Luke asked.

“Huh? Oh, no no no. You’ll be fine. Normal potions should barely have any effect on you. This was a special circumstance. Like diluting a bucket of potassium with a bucket of water. Heh heh.” Belbuk looked around the room. “That was a little Alchemist humor.” *Cough* “Honestly I would love to stay and experiment on you some more. I’ve never seen a living subject of the Ajax Elixir.”

“Huh?”

“But I am out of time. Deus!” Belbuk suddenly yelled.

“Yes, my devoted?” The startled bird snapped its head up.

“We’re leaving!” Belbuk commanded.

“Where to?” Deus looked around in confusion.

“Back to the Capital.”

“Awh that way? Then that means…”

“That’s right. Saddle up you great featherbrained fartmonster!”

“Hooonk! As you command my devoted.” Deus trumpeted.

The goose leapt up and rushed out the door of the Cabin excitedly.

“You’re leaving?” Luke asked.

“I have to.”

“Why?”

“Because of this.” Belbuk held up one of the original crystal phials Luke had summoned. They were empty now. “By the way, smash this for me.” She tossed the phials onto the table in front of Ash.

Ash delicately picked up a phial. Using only his wrist Ash tried weakly to smash the crystal on the table.

*Dink*

The fragile crystal cylinder bounced off the edge of the wooden table unharmed.

*Sigh*

Ave reached over and grabbed both phials. She dropped them into a leather bag then cinched the mouth of the bag tight. With an overhand swing she slammed the bag down onto the table. The glasses inside *Shattered*.

Belbuk nodded in approval. She reached over the table and picked up some of the potion bottles. She began to carefully pack them into a wooden crate filled with straw.

Belbuk spoke as she worked. “When I became an Alchemist I took an oath. We all did. A meaningless combination of words designed to ensure our compliance with a corrupt government. And when I grew too disgusted with my own hypocrisy I came out here.”

Belbuk paused. She held up one of the bottles and examined it. In the morning light the bead of liquid inside of the bottle glowed like a miniature sun.

*Sigh* “Now I have to go back to civilization. The power of the Gilgamesh Elixir is too much for any one person. It is my sworn duty to bring the elixir to the Alchemist Guild so that they can distribute it to the entire Kingdom.” Belbuk finished packing the crate.

“You don’t have to go back. You could just lie about having it.” Ash assumed.

Belbuk grunted. “Yeah I could. And if I was all by myself maybe I would. *Groan* But right now, doing that would make you kids complicit in my indolence.”

“We don’t mind.” Luke spoke up.

“That’s right. Indole away.” Eins joined in.

“Will you toilet twaddlers shut up and let me do the responsible thing.” Belbuk stamped her foot.

“Awww, you love us.” Ave snarked.

“If you were drowning I would spit on you.”

#

There was a *Crash* from outside.

Belbuk *Groaned* again. “You and you.” She pointed at Ash and Ave. “There’s a large leather saddle in the shed out back. I need you to help Deus pull it out and get it attached. It’s similar to a horse saddle. You should be able to manage.”

“Wait. Are we saddling… the goose?” Ash questioned.

“Come on. Let’s go help.” Ave stood up and pushed Ash towards the door.

“But my arms.” Ash dangled his listless arms in front of his torso.

“Eins you too.” Ave called.

“Coming.” The dog hopped down and followed them out.

#

Belbuk waited for them to leave. Then she sat down next to Luke.

“I’m still mad at you.” she said.

Luke looked down. “I know. I’m sorry for trying to drink the potion. I got caught up in the moment.”

Belbuk shook her head. “Not for that. For lying to me.”

“Huh?” Luke said in confusion.

“You never had any intention of learning alchemy.” she stated.

“What!? No! I really did.” he spurted.

Belbuk held up a hand. “Luke, you really do pull the best result every time. A Master Alchemist has to spend years learning all about reagents and components so that they can reliably summon the potions they need. You do it automatically.”

Luke slouched down lower.

“Even if you really wanted to become an Alchemist there’s no way you could take the practical exam. Not in good conscience. Since you would pass the test no matter what.” Belbuk continued.

Luke let out a breath.

Belbuk gently smoothed his hair down on his head.

“Why did you ask me to teach you?” she asked.

Luke tilted his head back. “I’ve never had a teacher before. I’ve always been able to do this. So when I was a kid the teachers never bothered to give me any instruction. They knew that I’d be able to summon the best results no matter what they did. So after a while they just stopped trying.”

“So you wanted attention.”

“No. I really did want to learn. Back in my hometown I thought that I would join a Guild one day. Maybe get a mentor. Someone who could really teach me how to use my power. But that never happened. I got taken to the Capital and made Royal Summoner and no one ever bothered to teach me anything. The Royal Family would tell me what they wanted and then I summoned it for them. Sometimes if I didn’t know what it was they would show me a picture or maybe have someone describe it for me. But most of the time they told me what to do and I did it. Then I would go back to my room and wait until they needed me again. It wasn’t all bad. I got to spend a lot of time in the library. Sometimes I would watch the clouds pass by the windows and wonder if I really was the best. That’s what everyone kept saying anyway.”

Belbuk put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Luke. The truth is I can’t teach you. No one can.”

Luke leaned back. He put his arm over his face. “I know. When you talked about how no one cared about how hard it was to do your job and how they only cared about the result… I felt like I knew what you were talking about. I wasn’t trying to lie to you. But it looks like I made a mistake.”

Belbuk stood up. She collected a satchel from the wall and started packing it.

“Teaching you alchemy was a waste of my time.”

Luke rubbed his cheeks.

Belbuk finished packing.

“Here this is for you.” Belbuk thrust a book into Luke’s chest.

“A book?” Luke was surprised.

“An alchemy textbook.” Belbuk stated.

“Does this mean…?”

*Bonk*

Belbuk bounced the book off of the top of Luke’s head.

“You like to read don’t you?” Belbuk interrupted.

“Yes. I’ll make sure to study it every night until I can become a Master Alchemist.”

*Bonk*

“No you won’t. You’ll summon the perfect potion every time without even trying. A Master Alchemist is someone who succeeds after working hard to overcome their failures. And you will never know failure.” she chided.

“Yes… I suppose you’re right… sorry.” Luke apologized.

*Sigh* “But competence is no excuse for ignorance. Just because I can’t teach you doesn’t mean you can’t learn.”

Luke looked up hopefully.

“The world is full of people that succeed without trying. And also full of people that fail despite their best efforts. But real talent is learning how to appreciate people that give their best effort no matter what the result will be.” Belbuk handed the text to Luke.

“I’ll do my best.” Luke assured her.

“You better! I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

Luke’s eyes sparkled. “So I am your apprentice.”

Belbuk crossed her arms. (But she didn’t say no.)

#

Ash, Eins, and Ave walked back inside.

Ash blinked a few times. “So we uh… finished saddling your goose?”

Ave shook her head. “He kept on saying the straps were too tight, and then asking us to pull them tighter.” she shivered.

Belbuk shouldered her travel pack. “You’re all finished. Good. I’ve got some things for you all.”

Belbuk pulled three potion bottles out of the wooden case. She set them on the table in front of the others. “It’s diluted but these are still some of the most powerful healing potions you’re ever going to find. Keep them with you. For emergencies.”

Ash and Ave picked up their bottles. Luke reached for the bottle in front of him.

Belbuk *Slapped* his hand.

“Ow!”

Belbuk pointed a finger at Luke. “Do, not, drink, that. Not even a taste. That is only for emergencies. Understand?”

“I understand.” Luke affirmed.

“Good. Also this is for you.” Belbuk slid a small compact case to Ave.

Ave clicked open the top of the case.

Belbuk crossed her arms. “It’s a skin creme. Lavender scented. You might be a little scratchy after spending so long in bed lying around like a dead frog.”

“I… *Sigh* thank you.” Ave accepted the case.

“And for you.” Belbuk set down a canning jar in front of Ash. The jar was filled with a brown powder.

“What is it?” Ash asked.

“You can add that to your meals to help build bulk.” Belbuk replied.

“Is it some kind of potion?”

“Sure. Think of it as a muscle potion.” Belbuk grabbed her crosse from the corner of the room. “If you ever want to turn those sticks into branches…” She tapped Ash’s shoulders with the handle. “You need to make sure that you eat like a lumberjack. This will help you. Who knows? If you stop skipping meals you might actually start to put on some muscle.” Belbuk smirked.

“What? I don’t, it’s not…” Ash flustered.

Eins gently patted Ash’s hand. “Come on now. It’s a gift.”

“Argh. Fine. Thank you.” Ash relented. “I shouldn’t be upset that you’re handing out gifts for no reason.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s a regular Blue Moon Festival.” Belbuk replied.

“We’re grateful. For everything.” Luke added.

“Good. Now I’ve got to go.” Belbuk hefted the box of potions over her shoulder. “I need to get these to the Guildhall as soon as possible.”

#

Deus was saddled up in the yard. A large leather harness with interlocking straps had been fixed around the bird’s torso with space for its wings. The saddle was angled forward so that a rider would sit just behind the goose’s neck. A second seat curved up behind the cantle. Metal rings ran down each side of the saddle as part of the harness.

The chickens from Belbuk’s coop clucked with interest as they circled around Deus’ legs.

*Cluck*Cluck*

Belbuk shooed some of the chickens away with her boot. There were extra straps on the ends of the saddle. Belbuk used these straps to secure her travel bags and the crate of potions. Deus waited patiently as the bags were strapped in place.

*Cluck*Cluck*

Once she was finished Belbuk clicked her tongue. Deus sat down on its haunches. The goose tilted its body to the side so Belbuk could swing a leg up and around its neck. After she settled into place on the saddle she clipped a cord from her belt onto the metal rings of the harness.

*Cluck*Cluck*

Ash, Luke, Ave, and Eins stood just off to the side.

Belbuk adjusted her hat. “Well kids it has been a huge pain in the ass getting to know you. Good luck and don’t starve.” She put a hand on the pommel of the saddle and pushed her heel into Deus’ midsection.

Deus hopped up. The goose spread its wings to their full length. Everyone took a few steps back.

Belbuk leaned back. Deus raised its wings. With a massive downstroke the two of them were launched into the air. Dirt, dust, and chickens were blasted across the yard by the wind from Deus’ flapping wings. Deus angled its head to the west and began to flap away.

“Goodbye Belbuk.” Ave shouted.

“Farewell.” Belbuk replied.

“See you again soon.” Ash yelled.

“No you won’t.”

“Next time we meet I’ll become your apprentice for sure!” Luke called.

“That’s never going to happen!”

#

Deus leveled out a couple hundred meters above the ground. The giant bird’s wings stretched out as it settled into a comfortable glide. Broad hectares of forest, grassland, and rivers flew past underneath as the bird picked up speed. Morning sunlight filled the sky. The combination of Deus’ speed and the light glistening off of its feathers made the bird look more like a comet racing across the heavens than an animal.

Belbuk holstered her crosse next to the saddle. She crossed her arms and leaned back so that she could rest her head against the second curve of the saddle behind her.

The goose’s paws curled up beneath its body. Deus kept its neck straight but turned its head ever so slightly to the side. The bird raised its voice to shout over the rushing wind.

“Did you reawhy not behieve that the boy was speaking the truth about his summoning powers?”

Belbuk adjusted her wide brimmed hat.

“Shut up and let me sleep you giant windbag.”