Gacha Gacha Hero

Ash cleared away the plates from lunch.

“Deus stop chewing on the plates. Did you eat your fork again?” he shouted.

“No. It was my fork.” Ave mentioned.

“We’re running out of cutlery.” Ash grumbled.

Eins sat patiently in Ave’s lap as she ate lunch. She took her time wiping crumbs off of the dog’s chin with a napkin.

Luke poured more water for the table.

*Cough*Cough* Belbuk cleared her throat at the head of the table.

“It’s time to test your abilities.” Belbuk tilted her chin towards Luke.

“Really?” Luke raised his eyebrows.

Belbuk nodded. “That’s right. It’s time to see if you have any aptitude at all.”

“If I do this will you make me your apprentice?” Luke’s eyes sparkled.

“No.”

“Awww.”

“But I’ll consider it.”

“Yay.”

#

Ave and Eins helped to clear the table.

“So, us, what should I do?” Luke bounced on his toes.

Belbuk crossed her arms and looked down her nose. “It’s very simple. All you have to do is summon a basic restorative medicine.”

“A medicine?” Luke asked.

“That’s right. If you really have been paying attention then this should be easy.”

Luke cracked his knuckles. “Okay. Here I go.”

“Summoning is a matter of concentration. You have to imagine the thing that you are trying to summon. With medicine this means identifying each of the ingredients, their proper concentration, their temperature…” Belbuk trailed off.

*Ka-crackle*

Golden light filled the living room. A shimmering magic circle appeared on top of the dining table. Eins’ fur began to frizz out and bursts of static electricity jumped between specks of dust in the air.

*Ka-Snap-POP*

A beam of light shot out from the center of the dining table. In an instant it vanished leaving behind a glittering crystal phial in its place. The phial was roughly thirty centimeters tall. It was decorated with holly wreaths and sculpted bird wings, with a crystalline stopper at the top. Inside of the phial was a golden liquid the color of apple pie. The liquid glowed with a mystical inner light.

Luke sat down heavily in a chair. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

“How *Huff*, was that?” he asked.

“WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Belbuk shouted.

“I did *Wheeze* just what you asked.” Luke pushed his hair out of his eyes.

Belbuk leapt across the room. She tore open a cupboard and started picking through the insides.

Ave and Eins gave each other a confused look.

“Here it is!” Belbuk yelled. She leapt back out of the cupboard and ran around the table. Belbuk slammed a red crystal the size of her thumb down on the table in front of Luke. “Do it again!” She commanded.

Luke took a second to focus his eyes on the crystal. “You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure! There’s no way that you could…”

Luke reached out his hand.

*Ka-Snap-Crackle-POP*

A second phial just as mystical, magical, and magnificent as the first appeared on the table next to its twin.

*Silence*

Luke slumped down in his chair.

Ave and Eins looked on with amazement.

Belbuk grabbed her face with both hands. “Why? WHY!? Why did I ask him to make a second one!?” she moaned.

Ash walked out of the kitchen cleaning his hands with a washcloth. “What the taffy covered turds is happening out here?”

#

“You asked him to do what!?” Ash clamored in the cabin.

“I didn’t think he would actually pull it off!” Belbuk bellowed back.

“Then why ask him to do it?”

“I was supposed to be a test.”

“Of what?”

“Of nothing! He wasn’t supposed to succeed.” Belbuk slammed a hand down on the table.

“I wasn’t?” Luke asked.

Ave wiped sweat from Luke’s forehead with a towel. Eins waved a feather in his face to cool him off. Deus licked his hair for the salt.

“No.” Belbuk grumbled. “It’s an introductory test. You tell your apprentice to summon something advanced. Then when they fail and summon a pile of crap they learn a valuable lesson about hubris.”

“So, I am your apprentice?” Luke said hopefully.

“Not after this!” Belbuk pointed to the phials on the table.

“What is it?” asked Ave. She stared at the golden liquid.

“It’s a healing elixir. Some of the strongest I’ve ever seen.” Belbuk pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Wait a minute.” Ash slammed his fist down on the table. “You didn’t think Luke could do it?”

“No.” Belbuk signed.

“But, he’s the Royal Summoner. He told you that.”

“So?”

“He always summons the best possible result. That’s his whole thing!” Ash exclaimed.

“Right. And I didn’t believe him.” Belbuk waved a hand dismissively.

“You thought he was lying?” Ash yelped.

“Of course he was lying!” Belbuk slammed her hand down on the table. “Who wouldn’t lie about something that ridiculous?”

“Luke!” Ash yelled.

“Did she say that was a healing potion?” Luke asked.

“I think so.” Ave replied.

“Hmmm.” Luke rubbed his chin.

“How could you not believe him?” Ash hollered. “I thought you were from the Capital. Didn’t you hear about him when you were living there?”

Belbuk shook her hands in the air. “Of course I did. And I didn’t believe it then either. A Royal Summoner who only gets the best pulls every time. That’s exactly the kind of propaganda our inbred royal family would come up with to try and impress foreign nations!”

Luke pulled one of the crystalline stoppers out of its phial. A single drop of amber fluid clung to the bottom of the stopper. Luke touched the stopper to his tongue.

“I bet that you don’t believe that I always summon the worst results either.” Ash exclaimed.

“Why would I!? That’s absurd!” Belbuk bellowed back.

“Why would I lie about it?”

“Why not? You are very lazy. And it’s an obvious lie! ”

“Well I‘m not lying either.” Ash indignated.

“Good for you.” Belbuk smarmed.

“And what about Luke’s story about summoning a Demon Lord. Do you believe that now?” Ash insisted.

Belbuk threw her shoulders back. “Kid, I told you before there’s no such thing as Demon…”

Luke projectile vomited across the room.