from zero: the dark descent

I slouched forward on the horse, my fingers gripping the reins so tightly my knuckles were white. The rhythmic clopping of hooves on the forest path was a monotonous backdrop to the storm raging in my mind. Daren's face kept flashing before my eyes—his stern, calculating expression, the way his gray eyes had narrowed when he questioned me, accused me.

How could he not trust me?

We had faced death together, fought side by side in battles that should have claimed us all. Daren had been my anchor, my guide when everything else felt like it was spinning out of control. And now he was gone. Just like that.

"He never trusted you, not truly." Veylara's voice slithered into my thoughts, smooth and insidious. "He was using you, my dear. Keeping you close as long as you served his purpose."

"That's not true," I muttered under my breath, glancing nervously at Elaris and Alaria riding ahead. I didn't want them to hear me talking to a ghost—especially not now, not after everything.

"Think about it," Veylara continued, her tone almost gentle, persuasive. "He questioned you at every turn, undermined your decisions. What kind of friend does that?" I clenched my jaw, the anger simmering beneath my skin. "He was… cautious. Protective."

"He was controlling," she corrected, her voice taking on a harder edge. "And he feared what you could become. What we could become together." I couldn't argue with her. Not completely. Daren had always been skeptical of my bond with Veylara, always wary of the power she'd awakened in me. He'd never understood, not really. Maybe he hadn't even tried to. The trees on either side of the path loomed like dark sentinels, their branches interlocking overhead to form a canopy that blocked out the pale light of the moon. The night air was cool, crisp, carrying the scent of pine and damp earth. Occasionally, the distant hoot of an owl or the rustle of unseen creatures would break the silence, but it only seemed to amplify the emptiness I felt inside. "They'll turn on you too, in time," Veylara whispered, her voice curling around my thoughts like a serpent. "Even your precious Elaris. Her compassion has limits, Noctis, and when she sees the darkness inside you…"

"Stop it," I hissed, my voice shaking. "She's not like that. She understands."

"Does she?" Veylara's laughter was a soft, mocking thing. "Or does she cling to the illusion of who you were, refusing to see who you're becoming?" Ahead, the path opened up, revealing the rolling hills and fields bathed in silver moonlight. The vastness of the open space was a stark contrast to the suffocating thoughts swirling in my mind. I felt small, insignificant. A tiny speck under the infinite sky, burdened by powers I barely understood and a darkness I couldn't escape. Elaris glanced back, her lavender eyes soft with concern. "Noctis? Are you alright?"

I forced a smile, though it felt brittle, fragile. "Yeah. Just… thinking." Alaria scoffed lightly, her voice cutting through the tension. "Thinking's overrated. Let's just focus on getting back to Myra in one piece." I nodded, trying to shake off the lingering weight of Veylara's words. But her presence was like a shadow, always there, always whispering. And the cracks in my mind, the ones she'd exploited, seemed to grow wider with every mile.

"You need me, Noctis," she murmured, her tone shifting to something softer, almost seductive. "You know you do. Let me help you. Let me make you strong."

"Strong?" I echoed, bitterness seeping into my voice. "At what cost?"

"A cost worth paying," she replied, her voice a caress. "You'll see. Together, we'll reshape this world. Bend it to our will." I looked down at my hands, the faint glow of my light magic flickering just beneath my skin. Power had always felt like the answer, the solution to the helplessness that gnawed at me. But now… now it felt like a curse. A burden I couldn't share with anyone. The fields gradually gave way to the outskirts of towns, the faint glow of lanterns and the silhouettes of homes appearing in the distance. The road ahead was long, and Myra was still days away. Days of travel with only my thoughts and Veylara's insidious whispers for company. I shivered, though the night wasn't cold. Hold it together, Noctis, I told myself. Just hold it together.

But deep down, I wondered if I even could.

The road stretched on, winding through rolling hills and past patches of farmland where the occasional lantern flickered in the windows of distant homes. The early morning mist curled around us, clinging to the grass and swirling beneath our horses' hooves. Despite the quiet beauty of the landscape, my mind felt as though it was closing in on itself, tightening like a noose. Elaris rode close beside me, her soft lavender eyes flicking toward me every so often, the worry plain on her face. She hadn't asked me anything yet, but I knew she would soon. She always had a way of sensing when I was slipping into the darker parts of my mind. Alaria, on the other hand, seemed as unfazed as ever, her emerald eyes scanning the road ahead while she absentmindedly twirled a dagger between her fingers. She had been acting strangely ever since we left Greystone—quieter, more calculating. Usually, she would have filled the air with teasing remarks, her usual flirtations, or her endless competition with Elaris. But she'd barely spoken since Kaivya's death.

Daren's absence left a noticeable void as well. As much as I hated to admit it, I was used to him leading the way, to his steady, rational voice cutting through the chaos. Even when we argued, he had always been… there. But now? Now, he was nothing more than a memory, a severed tie that I wasn't sure how to mend.

And then there was Veylara.

"You can feel it, can't you?" Her voice slipped through my mind like silk, caressing my thoughts in a way that was both soothing and suffocating. "The distance between you and them growing, like a crack in stone. It's only a matter of time."

I grit my teeth, gripping the reins tighter. "Shut up," I muttered under my breath.

Elaris's gaze snapped toward me. "What?" she asked, concern lacing her tone. I forced a weak smile. "Nothing. Just thinking." She didn't believe me. I could see it in the way her lips pressed together, the way her fingers tightened around the reins. But she didn't press. Not yet.

Veylara chuckled, the sound low and knowing. "She can sense it, even if she doesn't understand. You are slipping away from them, Noctis. You can feel it as clearly as I can."

I swallowed hard. She wasn't wrong.

Since Greystone, something inside me had shifted. Maybe it was the weight of Kaivya's death. Maybe it was Daren leaving. Or maybe it was something deeper—something I had been ignoring for too long. The connection between me and Veylara had grown stronger. I could feel her presence more acutely than ever, her whispers no longer just thoughts in the back of my mind but something almost physical, like a touch just out of reach. She wasn't just an influence anymore. She was there, in every moment, lingering in the spaces between my breaths. "You're alone, Noctis. They may be riding beside you, but you and I both know the truth."

I tried to push her voice away, but it clung to me, burrowing deeper.

Alaria suddenly broke the silence, her voice sharp and direct. "So, what's the plan when we get to Myra?" The shift in conversation pulled me from my spiraling thoughts, and I latched onto it like a lifeline. "We find a place to stay, regroup, and decide our next steps," I said quickly, my voice steadier than I felt. "We still don't know what's waiting for us there." Alaria huffed, flicking a strand of crimson hair over her shoulder. "And by 'next steps,' do you mean figuring out what's going on with you?"

My stomach twisted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shot me a look, her emerald eyes sharp. "You've been… different. Ever since we left Daren behind, since Kaivya—" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "You're in your own head too much. More than usual." Elaris tensed beside me, clearly waiting to see how I would respond.

I could have lied. Could have brushed it off. But I was tired. Tired of pretending I wasn't unraveling.

"I don't know what's happening to me," I admitted, my voice quieter than I wanted it to be. "I feel like I'm losing myself." Alaria raised an eyebrow, though there was no teasing in her expression, only curiosity. "Losing yourself to what?"

Veylara's voice coiled around my thoughts, slow and deliberate. "Tell them the truth, Noctis. See how they react. See if they still look at you the same way."

I swallowed hard. "To the pact."

Silence.

Elaris was the first to speak. "You mean with… her." She didn't say Veylara's name, as if speaking it aloud would give it power.

I nodded.

Alaria's gaze darkened. "You're saying that shadow-bitch is getting stronger?" I flinched at her words, but I didn't argue. "I can feel her more," I admitted. "She talks to me more. And… sometimes, it's hard to tell where she ends and I begin." Elaris's hand found mine, squeezing gently. "We'll figure it out," she said softly. "We'll fix this."

Alaria, however, wasn't as convinced. "Or maybe it's already too late."

Elaris shot her a glare. "That's not helping."

"I'm just being realistic," Alaria said, leaning back in her saddle. "This pact, whatever it is, it's been growing stronger for years. And now that Daren's gone, there's no one around to question it."

I turned to her sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?" Alaria met my gaze, unwavering. "It means Daren was the only one who had the guts to actually say what we were all thinking. What if she's already changed you, Noctis? What if she's been changing you all this time, and we were too blind to see it?"

Elaris stiffened. "Alaria, stop."

"No, I want to hear what she has to say," I said, my voice cold. Alaria smirked, though there was no amusement in her eyes. "What if you're not the same person we met at the academy? What if the Noctis we knew is already gone, and all that's left is—"

"Enough," Elaris snapped, her voice firmer than I'd ever heard it.

Alaria rolled her eyes. "I'm just saying—"

"I said enough," Elaris repeated, her hand gripping my arm protectively.

I wanted to be angry at Alaria, but deep down, I wasn't sure if she was wrong. The wind picked up as we rode on, the scent of rain in the air. Myra was still a few days away, but I already felt like I was heading toward something inevitable. Something I wasn't sure I was ready to face.

Veylara's voice whispered in my ear, soft and patient. "They fear you now, Noctis. And soon, they will abandon you. Just like Daren."

I clenched my jaw, gripping the reins tighter.

No. Not yet. Not yet.

The days passed in a blur, each one feeling heavier than the last. The road stretched endlessly before us, and though the scenery changed, my thoughts remained trapped in the same loop of doubts, whispers, and lingering anger.

Day One

We rode in silence for most of the day. The tension from our last conversation hung thick between us, pressing down on every unspoken word. Alaria remained ahead, keeping her distance from me, though she would occasionally glance back, her sharp emerald eyes assessing. Elaris stayed by my side, her presence steady, but even she seemed troubled by what had been said.

Veylara spoke to me often. Her whispers crept in whenever the silence stretched too long. "See how they hesitate around you? They walk beside you, but they don't truly know you anymore. Not like I do." I wanted to ignore her, but the truth was, I felt it. The weight of their caution, their uncertainty. It made my stomach twist in ways I didn't understand. We camped near a small river that night. Alaria and Elaris barely spoke to each other. Daren's absence was a gaping hole, one we couldn't fill. It was strange—how quickly someone could become a ghost in your life, lingering in your thoughts but never truly present again.

I lay awake long after the others had fallen asleep. The fire crackled softly, and the shadows stretched long into the night. Veylara was there, of course, watching. Always watching. "You are stronger without him," she murmured, her veiled form hovering just beyond the fire's light. "They think you need them. But the truth, my dear, is that they need you." I didn't respond. I just stared at the sky, wondering if she was right.

Day Two

The road turned from open plains into dense forests, the towering trees casting long shadows over the path. The air smelled of damp earth and pine, and for the first time in a while, I felt something close to peace. But then, Veylara's whispers came again.

"Myra is not what it used to be," she warned, her voice slithering into my thoughts. "Things have changed. You will see." I tried to push her words away, but they lingered, settling deep in my mind like a seed waiting to sprout. That night, as we set up camp, Alaria finally broke the silence between us. "Are you gonna keep sulking the whole way to Myra, or are you actually going to talk to us?" she asked, her tone casual, but her eyes sharp.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm not sulking."

She smirked. "Yeah? Then what do you call this brooding, dramatic silence?"

Elaris shot her a glare. "Alaria, not now." Alaria rolled her eyes. "Fine. But if we're doing this whole 'walking in silence thing' the rest of the trip, I might go insane." I forced a chuckle. "I'll try to be more entertaining for you."

The moment was small, insignificant even, but it helped break the ice. That night, Elaris fell asleep against my shoulder by the fire, and for the first time in a while, I let myself relax. Just a little.

Day Three

We were getting closer. The forests thinned, revealing rolling hills and the faintest outline of Myra's towers in the distance.

My thoughts felt heavier the closer we got. "Are you ready to see what's waiting for you?" Veylara's voice coiled around my mind. "They will question you, Noctis. They will wonder what you've become." I clenched my jaw. "I don't care."

"Oh, but you do."

I didn't respond.

By the time we made camp, the tension had returned. Even Elaris seemed lost in thought, her usual warmth dulled by exhaustion. Alaria sat across from me, watching me with an unreadable expression. "You think Myra's gonna feel like home?" she asked suddenly. I hesitated before answering. "I don't know." She hummed, twirling a dagger between her fingers. "Guess we'll find out."

Day Four

We reached the city gates just before dusk. Myra stood before us, tall and imposing, the golden light of the setting sun casting long shadows against its stone walls. The banners of noble houses flapped lazily in the wind, and the scent of the city—smoke, spice, and the faintest hint of salt from the sea beyond—hit me like a memory I wasn't ready to relive. The guards at the gates were cautious as we approached, but once we presented our academy IDs, they let us through. The moment we stepped inside, I knew Veylara had been right.

Something was different.

And whatever it was, it was waiting for us.