Fork This Life!

Chapter 33: Fork Enrols at Magic School



Chapter 33: Fork Enrols at Magic School

Dreyer looks at the satyr woman, who appears to be struggling with a mix of emotions. ‘Would you like to come inside?’

‘No!’ She shouts reflexively, before calming down and explaining herself. ‘No. I’m sorry, even if the lord has said it’s alright, seeing something made…’ She gulps. ‘Made of wood, I – I just can’t.’

‘It’s alright.’ Dreyer says reassuringly, stepping away from the house. ‘Should we talk here, or would you rather it be out of sight?’

‘Yes, that would be great. Can you climb?’ She asks.

Dreyer smiles, flagging his tail. ‘I am a squirrel.’

The two of them walk over to a nearby tree, and within seconds both of them have climbed up into its leafy canopy. Sitting on the thick boughs, they look remarkably unperturbed that their legs are hanging over empty space.

I stealthily leave the house and float over to the tree, setting myself to rest among its roots, just in case. At this distance, Dreyer is just inside the range at which my telepathy wouldn’t take more psi than I regenerate.

Letting out a deep sigh, the satyr woman instantly looks more relaxed. ‘Sorry. It was all just so much, so fast… I was just wandering around the forest like every other day, then I found your house, then the lord himself came…’

‘I can give you some time, if you’d like?’ Dreyer suggests.

‘No, I’ll be alright.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘The lord asked me to teach you the way of the forest, and he’s right. If nobody does, you could end up dead or lost forever within the forest.’

Dreyer frowns. ‘That doesn’t sound good. Let’s get started, then.’

A moment later he asks me, “You’re still listening, right?”

“Always.” I reply.

‘The trees are alive, as smart as you or me, talking in a language we can’t hear or understand. The entire forest, talking to each other.’ She gestures widely. ‘Many of them like to move around, which means that it’s absolutely impossible to find your way around if you rely on your memory.’

Dreyer cocks his head. ‘How do you find your way around, then?’ He asks.

‘You ask the forest.’ She replies. ‘The trees know where everything is. They’ll open up a path for you, or, if you’re particularly lucky, there might be one willing to take you there.’

‘Seems straightforward enough.’ Dreyer nods. ‘But why are they so helpful?’

It’s her turn to look confused. ‘Now that you mention it, I’m not sure… There is this old legend that we satyrs are the keepers and protectors of the forest, perhaps that has something to do with it?’

‘Protectors? What are you protecting the forest from?’ Dreyer asks.

She grows even more confused. ‘I… don’t know. There shouldn’t be anything that is a danger to the forest.’

‘Maybe you protect the forest from people from other worlds. Not all of them are as friendly as me.’ Dreyer muses.

‘Maybe…’ She nods thoughtfully. ‘Anyway, it’s the same if you need food. Ask, and you’ll be guided to a tree nearby that has ripe fruit or nuts, or a place where there are some vegetables that have finished growing.’

‘Sounds like most of your needs are taken care of.’ Dreyer notes.

‘Most, but not all.’ She warns. ‘It isn’t just us satyrs who dwell in the forest. There are many animals and beasts here as well, and not all of them friendly. The forest will try and keep you clear of them, but if they have your scent there’s rarely anything the forest can do to help – I hope you know how to fight.’

Her clothing, clearly made from furs and animal hides, punctuate just how real that danger is.

‘No worries there.’ Dreyer shrugs. ‘I travel a lot, and I’ve gotten into my fare share of trouble in the past. I can take care of myself just fine. Is there anything else I should know?’

‘Don’t harm the forest. Other than that, no… Maybe.’ She says thoughtfully. ‘There are some old ways, passed down in stories. We don’t know what they mean, exactly, but they might mean something to you, since you’re from another world.’

‘Maybe.’ Agrees Dreyer. ‘What are they?’

‘Carry no axe and start no fire.’ She recites.

Dreyer nods. ‘Makes sense. An axe is a weapon or a tool, mostly used to cut down trees -’ She shudders. ‘- and fire… is well, fire. It’s hard to describe…’

“Do you know how to describe fire?” Dreyer asks me.

“I could give you the technical description, but I doubt that would clarify anything.” I reply dryly. “Describing fire to someone who has never seen it before… Well, that would be like trying to describe colour to a blind man.”

“Hey, that’s a great way of putting it!” Dreyer exclaims.

…Was it?

‘Describing fire to someone who has never seen it is like trying to describe colour to a blind man.’ Dreyer repeats. ‘But fire is… really bad for trees.’

‘Alright?’ She scratches her head slightly. ‘Well, that’s enough talking. I should show you how to do it. You hungry?’

‘Definitely.’ Dreyer nods.

‘Follow me.’ She says, quickly climbing down the tree again, with Dreyer close behind.

‘Hello, can you please lead us to some food?’ She says to some trees, before telling Dreyer, ‘You have to be polite. The forest remembers everything, so if you’re rude you’ll be paying for it for a long, long time. I still get macadamias every now and again.’

‘That’s a tough nut to crack.’ Dreyer nods.

I follow behind them at a distance as they walk through the trees. Around them and even me, the trees shift and move slightly, opening a path for them to walk on.

‘My name’s Dreyer, by the way. I forgot to properly introduce myself before.’ Dreyer rubs his head wryly.

‘So did I.’ She shakes her head. ‘My name is Sithury. Nice to meet you.’

Almonds rain down on them from above.

Sithury turns to the trees and thanks them before starting to gather the nuts.

“So, what now?” I ask. Sithury has finished teaching Dreyer everything he needs to know to live in this area, and has left him to rest in the boughs of one of the trees nearby.

Dreyer crunches through a mouthful of almonds. “This world seems safe enough. A bit unusual, but that’s not a bad thing. I’ll need to charge the formation back up in case of emergencies, first of all.”

“And after that?”

“I’d like to stay here for a while, learn more about this world.” Dreyer muses. “But now that I’ve been here once, I can get back if I need to. We can keep world jumping to find your home world, if it’s urgent. Is it urgent?” He asks.

I think about it for a moment before answering. “The only people I know in that world should be safe, as far as I know. And I don’t particularly have anything I need to do there. So… No, it’s not.”

“Then I can fire up the portal. We’ll see if you can get a scholarship, and I’ll be able to visit some of my friends in the academy.” Dreyer says.

“Sounds good.” I reply. “Will it take long to gather the mana for the portal?”

“Not too long, a couple days at most.” Dreyer reassures me. “It’s much smaller than what I need to do to transport my house, after all.”

“Great. But we still have to wait until you fill up the formation for the house?” I ask.

“Yep.” He agrees.

All in all, this isn’t a terrible place to be. A fair sight better than Hell, that’s for certain. It’s quite… Quiet. Ironic for me to say, but it is.

There aren’t any sinister plots threatening to destroy the country, no evil personages out for our lives… Just a few wolves and a bear, so far.

Hidden among the trees there might be a million small animals and insects, but it’s all fairly peaceful. Perhaps a tad boring, but boring is good, every now and again. Besides, if I really wanted to, I could probably pass plenty of time just watching the wildlife scurry about.

Sithury is still hanging around, keeping to the orders of her invisible lord. Lucky, too; another satyr came by and practically attacked us on sight before she stopped him.

Dreyer seems keen to learn as much as he can about this world and the people in it, and often has conversations with Sithury, but doesn’t always get the answers he wants. He’s not been able to find out the name of this world, or what there is outside the forest – she doesn’t even seem to understand the concept of there being something outside the forest at all.

But regardless, the days pass by.

Perhaps because of the absence of brutality and death in my surroundings, I feel more relaxed than I can remember being in a long time. For once I don’t have responsibilities and expectations weighing me down. I’m completely capable of taking care of myself and don’t have to worry about things such as food, shelter, or even building a family.

Being biologically incapable of reproduction and no longer having the hormones which cause men to become attracted to women are such convenient excuses for not getting a girlfriend.

And all this lets me do what I really want to do. Well, first I’ll have to learn a bit of magic to be able to interact with the world through mediums other than absorb, telepathy or telekinesis, but after that I’ll be able to pursue whatever magic interests me.

Admittedly, that all hinges on being admitted and gaining a scholarship, so during these days I focus on my few magical skills: magic missile and mana control. Whether it’s forkfully compressing mana into a dense point, controlling the individual movements of multiple separate bits of mana or forming the mana into various shapes, I do it all day, every day.

Most of the time this doesn’t actually require large quantities of mana at once – smaller amounts are often just as difficult to control – so I am able to do this literally 24/7.

By the end of the first month, I am able to make an approximately 1:100 almost exact scale model of Dreyer, in mana, and control three separate magic missiles in individual flight paths.

By the second, my Dreyer model looks exactly the same (to me) as the real thing, and I can even mimic his movements with a fair degree of realism. Keeping track of multiple magic missiles at once is harder than it sounds, and I’m still only able to manage four. But of those four, I can make each pair rotate in opposite directions, have them fly in formations or in different directions.

By the end of the third, I’ve also made a scale model of Sithury, and the two models mimic their real-life counterpart’s actions exactly – under my control, of course. I can control 5 magic missiles, or create a single one compressed to an extent that… Well, I imagine it can do some damage, but my only viable target here is dirt, since doing it against the trees would see us booted off this world faster than you can say ‘oops’.

There are only a few days left to wait now. Dreyer soon fills up the last of the mana crystals, and then before I know it, the day comes.

Fetching a chest from beneath his bed, Dreyer opens it and retrieves a fine robe. Closing the chest and pushing it back under the bed, Dreyer dons the robe, explaining, “My fur covers everything up, so there’s usually no problem, but the academy has a dress code. Can be annoying, but it’s necessary.”

I look at the robe, then at myself. “I… Won’t have to wear that, will I?”

“You shouldn’t have to. I don’t think you could wear anything, even if they wanted you to.” Dreyer’s tail flags in amusement.

“Good.” I sigh.

“Alright, let’s get going.” Dreyer says. “Ah! Almost forgot!” He quickly dashes outside and informs Sithury about what was happening. I don’t think she understood much of it, but she at least got the general idea.

Coming back in, Dreyer locks the door behind him and walks up to the portal frame. He channels his mana into the frame carefully, activating it. After a few seconds, the space within it twists and settles into the usual swirling mass of mana.

“Right, we’re good.” Dreyer says, shaking his paws slightly. Walking over to the table, he picks me up and strides through the portal.

The scenery changes instantly from a forest to that of a bustling city, and one starkly different from those in the Empire: cleaner, busier and more magical by many degrees.

Contact with the system re-established.

Updating status.

Experience gained: 48.92

Skills have increased in proficiency.

Magic missile (Expert) (Mid Uncommon, Active) 90.13% - Fires a projectile of mana. Power scales with mana consumption, unable to exceed 50 mana per shot. Maximum range = Intelligence*1.75/metres. If remotely controlling, there is an additional mana cost of 0.65 mana/sec, otherwise direction of travel is set at initial creation of shot.

Mana control (Expert) (High Uncommon, Passive) 87.92% - Your practice with magic has led to a great familiarity with handling mana. Maximum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 100 mana. Minimum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 0.2 mana.

Multitasking (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive) 32.48% - You are skilled at doing multiple things at once. Small increase to your ability to keep track of multiple things at once, small decrease in the reduction in precision when performing multiple tasks at once.

Gaming - Tic-Tac-Toe (Master) (Low Unique, Passive) 48.97% - You are a master at Tic-Tac-Toe. Congratulations. Slight instinctive ability to correctly guess the outcome of 50/50 and one in three gambles.

Foreign mana.

Mana regeneration reduced by (100-Wisdom)%

Unaffected if Wisdom is equal to or greater than 100.

Abundant mana.

Effects of all magic increased by 10%, costs reduced by 10%.

Mana regeneration doubled.

Master in Tic-Tac-Toe, huh? Didn’t expect it to be that high this quickly. I suppose it’s to be expected, Tic-Tac-Toe is an incredibly simple game once you make even a slight analysis of it. As for when I played it? I did take some breaks while training. Talking wasn’t always an option, and minesweeper, well… The way I play it, it takes way too long. So I figured, why not play Tic-Tac-Toe? Much quicker. Now, Tic-Tac-Toe isn’t in the games menu, but minesweeper’s a grid, so I just used a three by three area with flags for o’s and question marks for x’s.

It’s good that all my training paid dividends, even if not all of it was actually intended as such.

And that ‘abundant mana’ bonus puts my regeneration up to… slightly higher than my usual, even with the ‘foreign mana’ debuff.

Forktastic!

“It’s good to be back.” Dreyer sighs.

“It’s an impressive place.” I agree.

“My office?” Dreyer asks quizzically. “It’s nothing much.”

“No, the city.” I say. “The amount of crime I can see is much lower than other cities I’ve visited, practically non-existent. Cleaner and more advanced too, not to mention the sheer diversity… I’m just counting the ones I can see, and I’ve already tallied up over fifty different species.”

“Glad to hear it’s going as well as always.” Dreyer smiles. “As I said, Arbadak is the center of all magical learning, and this academy is the best there is, even here. People come from all over, even different worlds. And with the number of mages, wizards, sorcerers and so on here, it’s practically impossible to commit a crime without being noticed, even if it looks like nobody’s watching.”

I look to my immediate vicinity. Much like Dreyer’s house on the other side of the portal, the room is scarcely furnished. Rather than an office, this room looks to be for residential purposes, while another, larger room off through a door looks to be the actual office.

Unlocking the door with a wave of his paw, Dreyer walks through and looks at the pile of papers and letters on his desk in dismay. “I suppose things do build up when you’re out exploring the worlds for a few years…” He sighs, sitting down and looking at one of the things on his desk.

“Good news is that we’re in the enrolment period right now.” Dreyer says. “Wasn’t sure we would be. It’s hard to keep track of the date when some worlds have longer or shorter days. Chances were good though, we take in new students four times a year.”

“Alright, what now?” I ask, excited and not a little nervous.

“Now we go enrol you.” Dreyer unlocks the main door and enters the corridor outside it, closing and relocking the door before he sets off. He walks for quite a while before arriving at a large auditorium packed with several lines of people.

‘Dreyer? Hey, you’re back! How’re you going?’ One of the people heading the lines, likely a teacher, calls out to Dreyer, much to the annoyance of the person he was supposed to be enrolling. He appears almost human, if not for the short layer of hair all over his body, a protruding jawline, flat nose and waving tail. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that he’s some type of monkey beastman.

Dreyer hurries over. ‘Well, considering my luck this time around. Ended up visiting both Ignis and Hell. How about you, Aussen?’

Aussen winces. ‘No wonder your fur seems a bit darker. Happy to hear you’re still kicking, even after all that. I’m doing fine, but what brings you ‘round these parts?’

‘I could say the same to you.’ Notes Dreyer. ‘Shouldn’t you be off trying to figure out how to turn your spit into diamonds?’

‘Figured that one out ages ago, thanks.’ Aussen waves a hand exaggeratedly. ‘Accidentally spilt hot coffee on the dean’s robe. It’s only for a day, but gods, is this boring. And you didn’t answer my question.’

‘Helping a friend enrol.’ Dreyer shrugs.

‘Oh? Want me to do it now?’ Aussen looks around. ‘Or are they not here yet?’

‘I’ll wait in line.’ Dreyer says, to the relief of the person still waiting to enrol.

‘Your loss.’ Aussen shrugs, turning back to the person in front of him.

Dreyer heads to the back of the queue, and the line starts slowly crawling along again. After perhaps an hour of waiting, we reach the front.

‘Are they still not here? I can’t hold everyone up for long, even if it’s you, you know.’ Aussen says, scratching his armpit.

Dreyer presents me.

Aussen looks at me. ‘If this is a joke, I don’t get it.’

Sighing mentally, I manipulate myself into a mini-man and wave at him.

‘Alright, not a joke.’ Aussen eyes me curiously. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, what are you?’

‘A living fork, if you can believe it.’ Dreyer says. ‘He can only talk with telepathy, unfortunately.’

Aussen’s eyebrows hike up his forehead. ‘Now Dreyer, I’m not saying you’re lying, but I can’t take you at face value for something like this. If an enrolment form goes to the higher ups with a race like that written on it, without proof… I’ll be a laughing stock.’

‘But you saw he was a fork just a second ago.’ Dreyer frowns.

‘You know something like that could be faked.’ Aussen shakes his head. ‘Look, only way I’ll be comfortable writing it down on the form is if it shows me its status. There’s no faking that.’

“My whole status?” I ask him, reaching out telepathically. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with that.

‘You weren’t kidding about the telepathy.’ Aussen’s nods. ‘Not the whole thing. Just your race.’

“How do I do that?” I ask. Showing him my race isn’t a problem, after all.

‘Ah, it’s: show Aussen race.’ Aussen says.

Show Aussen race.

‘No kidding…’ Aussen shakes his head in disbelief. ‘Alright, let’s do this. Name?’

“Gerald.” I say.

‘Age?’ He asks.

…Yeah, I’ll have to use that show command again. No way he’ll believe I’m… 17 months old. I should be a freaking baby by normal logic!

Show Aussen age.

’17, okay… wait, months? You sure you’re old enough for this?’ Aussen asks, confused.

“I got reincarnated into this body. My actual age is closer to twenty-four years old.” I say, not expecting him to believe a word of it.

‘Whatever, it’s your choice either way.’ Aussen shakes his head. ‘Gender?’

Show Aussen gender.

‘Makes sense, I guess. Any prior experience with magic?’

…Show Aussen mana control, magic missile.

‘Alright, that’s a bit out of the ordinary. Anything else?’ He asks.

“No. Those are my only magic related skills, unless you count magic edge or mana sight.” I reply.

‘Could you show me that last one?’ He asks.

Show Aussen mana sight.

‘Sheesh, wish I had that skill. Alright, that’s about it. Any disabilities… Can you move on your own?’ He asks.

“I can move perfectly fine. Other than that, well. Other than mana sight I can’t see, other than telepathy I can’t speak, I can’t hear, smell, taste or feel.”

‘That is a problem.’ Aussen scratches his chin. ‘Not one that can’t be solved, though. Well, that’s all, I think.’

‘Do you think he can get a scholarship?’ Dreyer asks. ‘He doesn’t exactly have any money.’

‘A scholarship?’ Aussen barks with laughter. ‘Even if his skills didn’t qualify him, his age would by technicality. The amount of talent required to be displayed to receive a scholarship is proportional to age – since he’s not even two years old, he exceeds that threshold by a considerable amount.’

“There’s no minimum age to enrol?” I ask.

‘Nope. We accept all races, and some mature much earlier than others. Besides, what would be the point of enrolling a kid? They’d just get expelled when they don’t pass their first term courses.’ Aussen explains.

“So, what now?” I ask.

Aussen shrugs. ‘You wait until the enrolment period is over, then a message will be delivered to your residence… Which is where, by the way?’

‘Just deliver it to my office. The world I travelled to last is quite nice, so we’re living there.’ Dreyer says.

‘Woodland?’ Aussen asks.

‘Without end.’ Dreyer agrees.

Aussen smiles. ‘Man, you lucked out. It’s alright if I come over sometime?’

‘Always.’ Dreyer smiles back, and they shake hands. ‘Well, see you again when all this is done.’

‘Don’t remind me.’ Aussen groans, turning back to the barely diminished line behind us.

“I think that went well.” I say to Dreyer as he walks away.

“It did.” He replies. “Should only be a few days before we hear some news.”

“Am I going to be all right without proper sight? I mean, you can only go so far in teaching without writing things down.” I worry.

Dreyer shakes his head. “You’ll soon realise that many things that seemed impossible before are easily fixed, here. If you manage to get the scholarship – and it sounds like you will – there won’t be any issues.”

How forktunate. It seems that it has, as always, come to another wait. But that’s alright, I can wait.

I have the patience of a fork, after all.

Gerald


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.