NOVEL NEXT Forget Vivian
Chapter 3
Forget Vivian Chapter 3 Vivian closed her eyes tightly as she curled up in her bed. She slowly placed a hand on her belly and stroked it in a calming manner. She paced herself and took a deep breath and answered in a slightly trembling voice, “I understand.”
Strangely, the moment she heard those words escape her lips was like clarity washed over her senses. The rebellious spirit she tried to bottle deep inside her seemed to come alive, like a lid was lifted off of a simmering pot. She finally knew what she wanted to do. ‘I’m going to keep the baby.’ Vivian thought to herself. She couldn’t let her child die. She knew Samuel didn’t want children, but hearing him say that he was willing to terminate any of her future pregnancies just made her harden her resolve; she needed to leave this place. To do that, Vivian needed to… She had an ability to make people forget, but sadly she couldn’t erase the memories of everyone in this world. She can’t make Samuel forget her. If so… ‘I’ve no choice but to erase my own memories…’ When that happens, she won’t be the same Vivian that she was. She will become a person completely unrelated to Samuel. Furthermore, she will have no regrets and no desire to return to this place. She will leave no trace because she wouldn’t know that this place was somewhere she could return to. Once she leaves, she vows he will never find her, except perhaps her shell… Vivian slowly started making plans to leave the palace. She didn’t want anyone to know what she was planning and she will have to go soon. * * * The day has come for Vivian to leave in order to save her child… Perhaps, somewhere in her heart she was always wanting to go and the baby was the final push she needed to have the strength to do so. Thinking about it now, she may have been looking for an excuse to leave Samuel and she finally found it. Right now, her baby was more important to her than Samuel. Things she wanted to keep a secret kept piling up day by day… The fact that her baby exists… How Natalia’s presence made her feel uncomfortable… All these thoughts were burdening her heart. That’s why she knew she needed to leave, or she would die from all these. ‘Therefore, I have no regrets…’ She had no regrets proceeding with her decision because these memories were only making her miserable. She closed her eyes and put her abilities to use. When she opened her rose colored irises, her room was already filled with white feathers that peeled itself from Vivian’s body. They daintily circled her in a graceful manner while more feathers came out of her in a continuous parade. All those feathers were her memories… Vivian was a memory magician and she had the power to manipulate and even erase people’s memories. She has often used her ability on countless people, but she didn’t know that one day, she will use it on herself. Vivian’s resigned eyes followed each feather that piled up against one another. Suddenly, a sphere of light floated near her and asked, “Are you sure you wouldn’t regret it?” “Regret? I know I won’t. Twenty-three years was enough. Now… I want to live my life.” “You know that erased memories never come back.” The ball of light warned her. “I wish they never would. I’m not coming back here either.” “Why? Were you unhappy?” For a moment, Vivian doubted herself. Unhappiness? Happiness? Did Vivian have the privilege to think about those things? Staying here means continuing a life of self-restraint. She wanted to live a life where she could feel proud of, if only her mother had told her to pursue her own happiness, perhaps she had that life instead. Since she got married, she had no other purpose but to follow Samuel’s plans and lived according to his desires. For the first time, she truly pondered about how she truly felt, “I do not know. But I guess I wasn’t happy.” A sphere of light circled around Vivian while rapidly absorbing the feathers that poured out of her. “When you erase them, you can’t get them back again.” It told her. Vivian nodded her head in understanding. Besides, perhaps leaving wouldn’t be so bad for Samuel either. Despite what he said, perhaps his feelings would be spared and he wouldn’t feel any pain if Vivian won’t be able to carry the child in full term or if she will give birth to a stillborn. Him not knowing may truly be for the best for all of them. She will never know him and he will never know of his child. As she braced herself for what was to come, she started to realize something; it was true that she was never happy, but she also was never unhappy. Furthermore, she did not spend years mastering the art of enduring great pains for nothing. This time, she wanted to use that strength to protect her baby. “Then I will erase your memory. Completely.” That’s right! When there is nothing to look back on, then nothing will tempt her to lose heart and walk into this abyss again. Her decision was resolute and she no longer hesitated. Just then the speed at which the sphere of light revolved around Vivian increased. Her white feathers flew like dandelion spores in a space where there was not even a single wind to propel its flight. Vivian closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her stomach in a protective manner, ‘My Baby…’ There was something more precious inside her that was growing, one that she must keep. This knowledge was enough to give her courage to face anything. “I will protect you…” She whispered to the wind, and that soft sound was enough to permeate the air around her. Thereafter, the sphere of light soared high and then landed upon her. “Chrip!” She became a white bird and disappeared without a trace. * * * “Still nowhere…” Samuel repeated to himself. It has been eight months since Vivian has disappeared and he hasn’t stopped looking for her since. He had checked every port in his kingdom, searched every train and even the carriages but he still couldn’t find Vivian anywhere. It was as if she simply faded into thin air. Samuel wiped his weary face with his large hand. He couldn’t help but secretly hope that the small gesture would also wash away his feelings. The black night, the deep blue dawn, and the pure white morning without Vivian by his side were all meaningless. His time just passed, and as his days went by, even when Samuel was chewing the cud, it only reminded him that she was no longer by his side. Noah who reports to him the same thing every morning; that Vivian was still missing, was also troubled. Noah was Samuel’s secretary for ten years, and despite all those years, it was the first time he had seen his king having a hard time. Samuel was born as an illegitimate son of the Rubentas imperial family and went from one alley to another. Although he is a descendant of the imperial family, he was thrown into the care of the empress because he was not ‘fittest’ of all the royal princes. If he had not been a pyrotechnician, he would have died right away in a back alley. Fire magicians are the highest ranking magicians among those who wielded offensive magic. Despite the odds, Samuel survived, joined hands with the Duke of Endless and became engaged to Vivian Endless. The Duke of Endless, with a long history of nobility and influence, sent their chosen prince into the Imperial Household. And Vivian, who became the Crown Princess, helped Samuel take control of the Imperial Castle. The fraudulent play against the nobles of the Rubentas Empire is still being talked about as a legend among Samuel’s aides. It was not Samuel who was originally chosen as the Crown Prince by the previous Emperor. The previous Emperor ignored all of Samuel’s merits and announced his other brother as the Crown Prince. This move was clearly contrary to what he originally promised his subjects; to pass the crown to his son who had the greatest ability to lead their kingdom. Because of that disgraceful event, Vivian ended up distorting the memory of everyone at the announcement of the coronation of the new Crown Prince. It was all thanks to Vivian that Samuel was able to gain his place. Therefore, for the longest time, Vivian was a big influence on Samuel. But why…and since when did Vivian get smaller little by little? It was clear to Noah that Samuel grew to not seek her opinion nor asked her for anything as much as he used to. She too didn’t seem to want anything from Samuel. Vivian seemed like a helpless woman who had given up everything. Regardless of what she was going through, it was puzzling why she disappeared when all she needed to do was one final thing; become the Empress. Samuel thought that everything would be fine once Vivian became the Empress, for Vivian claimed she will be back to her old self once she reaches that goal. So why? He couldn’t understand her decision. Why did she leave behind her planned future? Samuel stared straight at the seat in front of him, which was no longer filled, with his dark purple sunken eyes. Tonight’s meal reminded him of that night. He sighed and repeated her words, “It’s a wish.” That night, she chose such cute words to break his heart. Samuel let out a sharp laugh. Since meeting Vivian, he’s never forgotten her for a moment, so how can he forget her now? After she disappeared, for eight months, he couldn’t sleep or drink properly. He gave up eating the food and slowly folded the newspaper that was laid before him. The headlines of the morning papers had the name of Vivian Endless Rubentas printed in large fonts, as they always had in the past eight months. This time he dropped it, and the rustling of the papers that piled on the floors, filled the silence. ‘Vivian Endless Rubentas: The Search For The Missing Crown Princess Continues’; the headline had read. At first he thought she was upset, that’s why she left. After all, she’s been indifferent to Samuel because he had been busy, so she must be mad at him. So, he thought if he gave her some time, Vivian would come back with her heart more at ease. But after waiting for a long time, Vivian still has not come back and he hasn’t heard a word about her. While he continued to brood over his missing wife, a sudden banging sound of the doors opening distracted him, ‘Who was coming in?’ “Samuel! Aren’t you late? We were supposed to have lunch together! I also brought a hat because I was prepared for a walk.” The figure greeted him in a pretty voice. He had thought that it was someone important, but it was nothing more than an angry wind. Samuel took a deep breath and reminded himself that there was nothing for him to worry about and that soon, Vivian will return to her place, and they will return to their normal lives. Samuel ruled out other possibilities. Samuel’s heart cooled to the same temperature as the cold steak on his plate. But as days progressed and turned into years, he might just have to admit defeat. Samuel let out a sarcastic laugh; he lost Vivian. He lost his white and pretty little bird. It has been a long time and he still couldn’t find her. Soon, people will start to forget her, one by one, until no one will think of her. * * * [Eve Aetherion’s P.O.V.] ‘I don’t know when she grew up like this.’ Today is already the child’s sixth birthday. Eve stroked the hair of the small girl that was lying on her lap. The rattle of the train that they were riding on did not even wake the deep slumber of the child. Eve’s slender fingers poked the girl’s cheek tenderly. She wanted to wake her up because she wanted him to look at the view that was rapidly passing them by. She believed that the more the child sees, the more she will find things that are interesting. Eve’s lips drew a thin upward arc as the child reacted to her touch. The young girl whined and only buried her head deeper into her lap, and continued to lie down. The child’s pale sky blue hair swayed along with her movements. “Eve, why don’t you get some sleep too? The train will go for a long time…” The woman sitting close to her told her. At Arianne’s suggestion, Eve shook her head, “I’m okay.” She responded. Arianne was very concerned about Eve’s weakness, which was her frail constitution, but she knew she couldn’t break Eve’s stubbornness. She simply sighed as she leaned back against the hardback of the train and reminded her, “Then you should be careful, you don’t know when you will faint again.” Eve grunted and turned her gaze out of the window, “…Because I don’t faint.” Eve’s hand pulled on the curtains that were swaying with the speed of the train, ‘Soon…’ Shortly, there were yellow shooting stars that began to fall one by one over the horizon as the train was running. Those stars were the reason Eve had been holding off her tiredness all this time, for today was the feast of the goddess which only comes once a year. Eve, quietly watched the shooting stars that fell from the skies like rain, and shook the child awake. With drowsy eyes, the young girl gave her a confused look, “Huh? Mom…” “Estella, Happy birthday!” -To be continued. E/N: Eve is Vivian.
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