For the Record

And of course, the asshole isn’t anywhere to be found when I actually do want to find him. I can’t say I’m that surprised though, he’s probably hiding somewhere and laughing at me running in circles.

“What should I do with these remains, my queen?”

Vivianne has been eagerly hovering around Boz’ unconscious form for the ten minutes or so that I’ve been pacing and ruminating. I should probably answer her at some point.

…

Now will do. “I don’t really care. Throw him out or eat him or whatever. Feed him to the maids, maybe?

She pauses. “Forgive me but, did you not insist he be treated well because you, ahem, ‘went way back’?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, that was just an excuse to set him up for a harder fall. Plus the ones who recognize me always fall the hardest.”

“I… see. Very well. I shall deal with disposal, then.”

I dismissively nod. “Please do.”

The others have mostly been milling about the throne room after my grand event unraveled, but a few of them have actually retained their war forms… or whatever equivalent they’ve developed. Nyx is flying in slow loops around the ceiling, apparently not having actually used her wings much at all until now. She’s getting better at it too, as now she only brushes the walls or chandeliers occasionally, and never enough to ground her.

I was vaguely aware that Izahne had been practicing with her natural weapons in the same way I have been with my feelers, but this is the first time I’ve seen the actual results of it.

“Tell me,” I say as I approach her, “How much control do you have over those?”

She pauses her maneuvering, pulling the twirling blades back to her body to float within a couple feet of her. “Not a lot, but enough to make a loose barrier of them, or to use them like a short-range volley.”

Nodding, I continue. “How many can you create in total? And of those, how many can you control like these?”

“Well,” she replies, “I can make around a dozen of them without running low on mana and keeping them manifested drains almost nothing. Controlling them though… maybe ten? I stopped at nine because I didn’t want to lose face for you.”

“Thanks for that,” I say as I pat her head. She blushes a deep gray and every single one of her floating blades clatters to the ground.

And she takes a step toward me and wraps her arms around one of mine while refusing to make eye contact.

(So she’s just acting normal for now, I see,) Nyx observes.

How well can you see what everyone is doing down here? I’d have thought you’d be distracted with not crashing into absolutely everything?

With a vaulting dive, she twists midair to plant her feet against one of the stone walls, clinging to it on an angle as well as if there were hand and footholds there.

Ah. It’s just natural then, isn’t it? Nevermind.

(Yeah.)

As I’m distracted slipping back into my ruminations, it occurs to me that now my consort is leaning into me and rubbing her face against my arm as well.

“What are you doing?”

She stiffens briefly but doesn’t stop. “Do you hate it?” she asks in a muffled voice.

I almost shrug but catch myself. “Not really. I don’t understand it, but if you like it then I guess whatever.”

Ah, now I can really feel the envy from Olive.

“Fine,” I sigh and gesture to the fox maid with my other arm. “Come on, then.”

That’s all it takes and suddenly she’s mashing herself against my other arm. Meanwhile I overhear Vivianne whispering something about how much easier it is when an official wife is already decided? Whatever that means.

Anyway. It’s absolutely clear now that Dolos isn’t to be trusted.

EVER. AGAIN.

Although it’s not like I’d trusted him before… I’d assumed he’d do something like this, but he still caught me on the back foot. I have no doubt it’s going to happen again, so best to prepare.

But… how? How exactly do I prepare for unexpected betrayal?

(The classic answer is to never trust anyone ever again,) my former Assistant comments.

Yeah, sure, but that’s easier said than done. I’d be alone, and that’d be boring.

(Are you sure? You never had any attachment to mortals before. Is this another Astraea thing?)

Maybe, but I’m pretty sure I’d get more enjoyment from watching the insects scurry about at this point regardless. I can even choose to terrorize them if I get bored!

She huffs and pushes off from the wall to continue her slow circuits. (Yeah, now you sound like a god alright.)

Oh shut up, you’re no different with your trinkets at your precious forge. They’re just more things to distract you from eternity, aren’t they?

(Yes. They absolutely are.)

I… huh. I didn’t expect that response.

(Of course you didn’t, idiot. Unlike some immortal monsters in the room, my long-term plans involve constructive hobbies instead of just repeatedly kicking over the anthill as soon as it’s been rebuilt over and over.)

Yeah, I guess that’s fair. It’s not like my repertoire is built for constructive anything though…

(Oh well look at you, using big words! You must be very proud.)

Gods, shut up for real!

(Nope! Also you’re so focused on Skills and Domains that you haven’t stopped to think about bigger implications, because of course you haven’t.)

Like fucking what!?

With an aerial twirl, she lands smoothly in front of me raising a cloud of ash, then grabs my collar with both hands and pulls me within a few inches of her face.

“Spellspeech, you absolute buffoon! You’re already a far better crafter than me, as long as you decide to fucking do it! Most of the gods themselves don’t even have access to that!”

…

“Oh.”

***

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

Not even an hour later and with her design help, I’ve already created a sprawling multi-floored labyrinth beneath my castle city.

Why? Well, why not? I guess I just wanted to see if it was possible. It’s not like there’s a core down there or any-

“Master Nemesis,” Rose rasps, “do you desire placement of a subcore? We have three available for use.”

“Wait, really!? Yeah, set one of those up! We can have a dungeon right here too!”

It starts sinking into the ground when I have an even better idea!

“Hey hold on, can we include the castle in the dungeon?”

Nyx looks beyond shocked. “Monsters spawn in dungeons. Why do you want monsters spawning in the castle!?”

“First of all, I bet that’s a wrong assumption. Right, Rose?”

“Master Nemesis is correct. Additionally, we have control of where and when monsters will spawn,” the plant thing replies.

I nod. “And there we go. We’ll put the subcore in the castle, and then we’ll never have to worry about adventurers destroying it. Although…”

Rose tilts their head and I furrow my brow at them.

“Can you move your main core here and have your subcore in the old dungeon?”

***

Yeah, so. I can safely say that other gods piss me off.

I’m reclined on my divan as I usually am in these obnoxious ‘private audences’, although usually they’re with some head of whatever trade federation or deacon of the church of dribbling bile or whatever the fuck.

This time, it’s another god. Last time I did this song and dance it was Dolos – for all that wasn’t worth.

Snootily laughing, the woman across from me stuffs yet another of the pastries Olive has repeatedly replenished into her face, making no effort to maintain any kind of decorum.

“Ahaha… aha. Yes, well. Thank you for taking the time to visit, Lady Epione.”

“Oh, please!” she says, wiping crumbs from her cheek and only succeeding in smearing the rest already there. “Just Epione is fine. We’re both divines here, after all. Well, except for your retainer there.”

My fox maid doesn’t take her bait, which I appreciate. This growth goddess has been making efforts to push everyone’s buttons since she got here, and I’m not quite sure why.

“Tell me then, was that performance entirely orchestrated? Dolos wrote the script himself, didn’t he? It was quite a show, yes it was!”

Wait.

I furrow my brow at her. “Show? Script? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, oh!” she chortles, “You mean to tell me that was entirely deliberate? Ahahahaha! Oh my goodness, you’re very, very new to this, aren’t you? Spending all that energy on a single mortal?”

…

“Eh… I’m not sure I follow…”

Epione’s face goes dead serious. “You… you don’t even know you’re in the games now? Seriously? Did you realize that entire production you put on to terrorize that singular mortal for a minor transgression was broadcast to all the heavens?”

…

“Gods… you really don’t. You really don’t know?” she says, beginning to giggle again.

“Well,” I shrug, “it’s not like it will change how I run my plane. Whatever. As long as you all aren’t meddling in every gods-damned thing I do here, go ahead and watch I guess.”

She smugly grins back. “Oh don’t you worry, dearie. We’re already all over here, and most of us aren’t just watching. Oh, but speaking of meddling!”

Hm?

She turns her head toward my retainers standing behind me…

Specifically, Pearl.

“What in blazes are you doing, girl? I gave you a Class and a mission! You had a perfect opportunity to purge a particularly noxious undead and instead you formed a party with it!”

Pearl stiffens at the rebuke and then stammers, “I… b-but, I-”

“No buts, girl. You failed spectacularly, and I have no need for failures.”

The goddess turns back toward me and continues with a dismissive huff. “Since she cares more about an abomination like you than her own patron’s divine orders, you can keep her. She’s clearly of no use to me. Ah, but don’t worry about any more of these formalities, I’ll see myself out; you dark pantheon types are all the same, doom and gloom and terror and fear. I’m looking forward to watching the long list of would-be Heroes who come to purge you. Ta!”

And in a burst of leaves, she’s gone.

Along with the remaining pastries, and the silver serving set.

“Wait, what the fuck? Do all gods suck this bad?” I snarl…

Loudly enough that I almost miss the sound of the human priestess slumping to the ground behind me.