For the Record

I swear, this guy is worse than Vivianne. No matter where I go, he’s always there – even when I’m sure I’ve lost him or Olive teleports me.

“How do you keep doing that?” I finally ask.

He looks confused, but in the most nonchalant way I’ve ever seen – certainly not the first, everything he does is ridiculously nonchalant. “Do what now?”

“Everywhere I go, there you are.”

“Well,” he laughs, “let’s just say betrayal isn’t my only domain, yeah?”

Wonderful.

“Any way I can get you to do something productive if you’re going to be here anyway?”

“You can certainly try,” he quips, “but who’s ta say I’m not already doing, somethin’?”

I sigh. “Something other than following me around?”

With a shrug he says, “This is kinda my whole thing, yeah? Either get used ta it or find me a different newborn god ta bother. Yasee, I haven’t figured you out yet, and I like knowing who I’m dealin’ with. Makes it easier ta make deals, yeah? You gotta have someone ya want ta burn, or else someone wants ta burn you instead, ya follow?”

WONDERFUL.

“Did Themis send you?”

He just laughs.

“Is that a yes?” I snap.

The annoying god leans conspiratorially closer. “If he did, ya think I’d tell you? But here’s a freebie, since yer new. We did have a chat, me an’ ol’ Thay-thay – he hates gettin’ called that, by th’ way. But I? I turned ‘im down. Why? Boring. It’s way more fun ta jus’, watch ‘im struggle. Helpless, impotent rage, all b’cause…”

I furrow my brow when he trails off. “Because why?”

“B’cause,” he continues with a broad smirk and then enunciates sharply, “everyone is watching. From the old to the new, and even the mixed-up half-gods like you and Ares, Parthenos, Owyn, and all the rest.”

And then he theatrically spins in place and spreads his arms wide. “Yer the best show in th’ las’ eight-hundred years!”

“So you’re literally just here to watch then,” I flatly remark.

And then he drops an absolute bombshell.

“Me, an’ all th’ others that’re here.”

***

It’s another long, uneventful night. My ex-paladin quietly snores as usual, even though she doesn’t need to sleep. ‘I want to though,’ that‘s what she said when I asked...

Whatever. It’s not like I have more important things to do.

Although it does leave me alone with my thoughts.

(And me,) Nyx comments.

To be honest, I’d have thought you would have better things to do than hang around and talk in my head.

(I am doing better things. I’m working in my forge. It just so happens that I still have this infernal link to you so I hear almost everything you think.)

Huh.

(Yeah, ‘huh’.)

...

Can Olive hear everything I think too, I wonder?

I feel her start to say something in my head but cut her off.

No, nope, no, no! You’re incoherent when you talk normally and completely incomprehensible in my head! Just, uh. If you have something to say then tell me in the morning, preferably with your writing tablet.

I feel a brief flash of sorrow from my bond with the fox spirit, but this is just how it needs to be. Much better than just getting confused by her again!

...

I’m still bored though.

(So why don’t you sleep?)

Because I don’t sleep.

I can feel the annoyance in her voice. (Yes, you can! You did once, remember? Just remember how that felt and do it, or else maybe send all your mana to someone or something until you get tired.)

That’s... not a bad idea, actually.

Since she suggested it, I start pushing most of my mana to Nyx until I feel that weakening of my consciousness again, and let it take hold.

***

I groggily wake to Izahne tearily shaking me, repeatedly saying things in the vein of “no” and “not again” and “please”. I blink and absentmindedly brush her with Consume which immediately calms her, but I remember what happened the last time she went too long without feeding and don’t know if it’ll happen if she runs out of mana, so I push some of my own into her as well.

Which makes her blush. Everything makes her blush.

(No, everything you do makes her blush.)

Oh good, you’re still awake.

Nyx sighs through our bond. (Of course I am. Unlike some lucky idiot sort-of gods around here, I don’t have the privilege of falling asleep when I use up my mana.)

Huh.

I leave my incredibly well-appointed room in the castle with Izahne in tow after catching her once again falling armor and just using my dimensional storage and a number of quickly manifested feelers to dress her myself.

Ignoring my consort’s blushing, I continue down the long hallway toward my throne room, with Omorth peeling from the wall not far from my door to take his usual place opposite Izahne’s so the two of them flank my shoulders. Yesterday he removed the sword from one of the suits of armor near my personal quarters and overnight places himself in its hands – I have to admit, it’s a genius hiding place – or would be, if his ash-black blade covered with runes didn’t stick out like... something that really sticks out.

(You missed the landing there,) Nyx mocks.

Oh shut up.

(And before you ask, yes I’m coming to the morning meeting. You don’t need to keep asking me that.)

Fine, sure. I just know you’re busy all the time. I put you in charge of advisors but I didn’t expect you were going to recruit a bunch of blacksmiths and crafters to-

(Runesmiths.)

Hm?

(They’re not blacksmiths, they’re runesmiths. There’s a difference. We craft technology, not things so boorish as swords and clubs.)

Hey, I don’t care. Wait, if you’re doing runesmithing, why do you need the forge?

She sighs. (It still uses metal, genius. The runes are inlaid on the substrate usually in copper or gold.)

Alright.

Although I could probably render her trade obsolete by just using spellspeech to talk magic onto things.

(Are you incapable of just letting me have this?) she whines.

I sigh and quickly recall the resulting ash while my escorts glance at me confusedly.

A few minutes later, I’m taking my well-padded seat as usual. It’s convenient that it’s wide enough for me to stretch out, not that I need to. I could just disperse to ash and be plenty comfortable.

...

When did I stop doing that? Wait, when did I stop thinking of that as my normal form!? Stupid extra soul!

I don’t have much time to fret about it as Vivianne approaches with a clipboard in hand, stopping a few paces before the stairs and kneeling. She sure does kneel a lot around me.

(Of course she does, she’s a knight, she’s demonstrating her loyalty. If anything you’re weird, most gods demand this kind of absolute obeisance, and I can guarantee that Astraea did too,) Nyx comments.

I’m about to reply when the kneeling knight starts talking.

“My liege–”

“Don’t call me that,” I interrupt her. “We’ve been over this. I am Nemesis.”

Wincing, she hesitates for a moment and then continues. “Yes, erm. My Lady Nemesis. We have had some issues, but all are well in hand. None of them will require your direct intervention.”

“Of course we have. Any place with lots of humans and vampires are going to have problems. Speaking of which, are any of those problems, vampire problems?”

Vivianne shakes her head.

“Good. What other kinds of issues? Ah, before you say it again, I know they’re nothing that would require my attention. But, you see, I’m bored so I’m going to find something to do, and that something may as well be constructive. The alternative is, I don’t know, walking around and acting important and still being bored,” I say dismissively.

“I see,” she answers. “We have had a few issues of individuals conflicting over property ownership and also the beginnings of organized crime.”

That shoots my eyebrows up. “Woah, okay. Hold on, tell me more about that.”

The centipede knight continues. “Our enforcers have detained a number of individuals for contraband or other forbidden activities, and when questioned they revealed that they had common employers. At present, there appears to be three competing for a primary black-market role.”

“Excellent,” I reply with a grin. “Although... can we trust them to give us their actual employers? They could be planted to incriminate their competition.”

“Not an issue. Our vampire interrogators have a Charm Skill that they put to effective use.”

“Even better! I think it’s time to make a house call,” I say as I start envisioning the fun I’m going to have with this.

Maybe I’ll take control of all three and pit them against each other in a proverbial cage match. Ooh, or combine them into one and then kill them! Or I could always just go through their rosters and Consume them one by one...

Either way they’ll be dead soon, and I can’t help but smirk at my good fortune.