For the Record

Hello, Nerin.

It takes me less time than before to locate the eldra grocer. It’s early in the day, but clearly that hasn’t stopped them from their day’s work. I found them at their usual stall at the settlement’s main square setting out their wares.

And unsurprisingly they jump at my greeting, throwing vegetables of some kind up in the air. I promptly manifest feelers to catch them all – gods, I missed being able to do this!

(You’ve already said that at least a dozen times,) Nyx says.

And it’s no less true this time!

Nerin pauses longer than I’d expected, and then slowly looks over their shoulder.

“Nemesis. You’re back.”

“I sure am! And I can talk out loud now.”

The eldra gives me a crooked grin. “So I hear.” My paladin sighs.

“Anyway, this is Izahne. She’s a paladin of uhhh…”

(Themis.)

“Themis,” I quickly finish.

Izahne nods.

“And this is Nerin, a grocer I met shortly after I woke up.”

Introductions complete!

(And you only completely stumbled and fell flat on your face once. Good job, woo.) My Assistant claps slowly.

You’re bored, aren’t you?

(Inescapably.)

I manifest a dozen feelers and use them to repeatedly poke her in the side, just below her ribs, until she’s running in circles around me cursing up a storm.

While I’m distracted, Nerin strikes up a conversation with my paladin. “So… uh… What exactly is your relationship? I assume you are their caretaker… I can feel some kind of link between you. Did you convince them to be your familiar or something?”

“Ehm, not exactly?” Izahne replies, starting to blush yet again.

“A guard, then? Observer?”

I cut in. “She’s my wife.”

***

After propping Nerin up following their overly dramatic fainting in horror, I give them a gentle prod with Will Surge until they wake up.

“Good morning,” I say. The grocer recoils and scoots backwards across the ground until they bump up against a crate.

Then they finally seem to find back their composure. “Oh, it’s you.” Their eyes flick between my wife and I before they furrow their brow. They focus on Izahne and ask, “You… voluntarily wed this monster?”

She fidgets. “Well… at first, not exactly?”

Nerin’s gaze darkens further.

“But I’d call it a happy accident!” she finishes.

There’s a moment’s pause before the grocer takes a breath and sighs. “I see.” Then they turn to me. “Do you love this woman?”

I shrug. “I’m pretty sure I’m not capable of love, but we’ve got vows and a blood pact. That’s probably as close as I can get to it.”

I’ve had about enough of the conversation, so I change the subject. “Anyway, I just stopped to say hello and show her off. I’m going to go eat my kin now, see you later!”

I start drifting away, having dematerialized just enough to do it. Izahne offers a quick farewell and follows after me.

“You could have stayed and talked more, you know,” I say.

She shakes her head. “I came here with you. In a way, this is almost like your hometown, so I want to see it.”

“I’m afraid there’s not much to see. Bunch of ghost traps though, they’re a great way to grind levels if you’re me. Which, you’re not, so I guess that doesn’t really matter.”

My paladin giggles. Was that funny?

(No, it was stupid and she’s weird.)

I brandish a feeler at her and she backs up a step, placatingly holding both hands in front of her. Good.

When we finally make our way out of the shanties at the edge of the settlement and arrive at the traps, I notice that the feeling of dissatisfaction coming from my paladin’s bond has been increasing.

“What’s bothering you?” I ask.

“The poverty,” she replies immediately. “I don’t know how anyone here can afford to eat enough to stay alive.”

“Well, I mean. I know how I can eat here… but I guess that’s not a bad point. I did tell a bunch of larvae to go talk to Nerin about… something. I don’t remember what. Oh well?”

Ah, and there’s some confusion. “Larvae…? Do you mean children?”

I nod. “Yes, human larvae. I told them to watch out for people like Boz.”

She puts a hand to her chin in a gesture I’m starting to understand, but I’m not quite there yet. “And who exactly is this ‘Boz’?”

“Okay so, when I was basically living here and cleared the ghost traps all the time, I found these hobgoblins cornering some human in an alleyway behind some buildings, right? Anyway, the fear smelled nice, so I gave them all a good scare. But then I had this great idea to make them useful! And it worked too, I did this –“ I dematerialize and compress my ash into a small stone, and then affix myself to her armor. “And then I had them walk into the mains district and take a bunch of quests at the Adventurer’s Guild so I could get more experience and monster vitality. I met a weird human called uhhhh what was it again? Ah right, Mimir. And then I got registered and didn’t need the hobgoblins anymore, so when I came back here I left them in an alley on the surface.”

Izahne pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a breath.

“It’s ok though! I know I’m not supposed to do that now, right? The headmaster won’t let me, so it’s fine! Plus they were bad guys, right? Bullying bullies doesn’t count!”

She continues pinching the bridge of her nose, but now screws up her face as well.

(Keep digging. Maybe you should change your Class to miner.)

Oh shut up. Do I need to make with the feelers?

Fantastic, now I’ve got scowls all around. Thank the fucking gods we’re finally at the first trap. I say nothing and dive into it.

***

An hour of walking and slurping up my kin later, I’ve finished my planned task, but I’ll admit I don’t actually feel any more full. The lack of a System prompt seems to back that up as well.

“Anyway, there’s not much more here I ever do besides follow Nerin around or sit around at the tavern… the townsfolk always buy me drinks, they get a kick out of me disintegrating them. The drinks, I mean!” I quickly correct. “I’ve made a correlation though, the more time I spend around Nerin, the earlier in the day they close shop and head off to drink.”

(Gee, can’t imagine why.)

Huh?

(It’s sarcasm, idiot. It means you are exhausting. I said that before. The more time you spend around that poor eldra, the faster they burn out and close shop in the hopes of getting away from you.)

Oh.

I give her another feeler jab, to which she loudly squeaks.

“Oh wait, the apartment! I could show you my first lair!”

***

The guards at the gate certainly aren’t any happier to see me now than they were earlier, but they at least seem relieved that we’re leaving.

It takes around a half an hour of travel to arrive at the entry point to the dead mechanic’s apartment, but I do find it back without issue.

Instead, the issue is with how the door won’t open.

(I knew this was going to happen.)

Why? What happened?

(The rent didn’t get paid and the ‘tenant’ got locked out,) Nyx explains.

Oh.

“I guess it got repossessed. This is the key though,” I say while taking out the portal key and showing it to my paladin.

“Did you leave anything in there? Anything you wouldn’t want to lose?” she asks.

I grin. “Nope! I took everything, even the posters from the walls.”

Izahne goes silent.

“What?”

She sighs. “Nothing, I guess. It just makes the fact that you’ve killed a person that much more real.”

“Why would I not kill people? I’m a monster. I eat people’s souls.”

“Is there any way you can choose to not do that?” she quietly asks.

“Nope! The trait says I have to eat souls,” I answer.

(Actually…)

Now what? You gonna make fun of me for that too?

(Look. Remember how your trait changed?)

Oh.