For the Record

Well, that was an incredibly boring and unsatisfying dungeon stop. Sure, I got enough souls to keep my hunger under control – the System prompt even told me so.

But, she’s still not talking to me, not like she had been. The most she says now is the bare essentials, it hardly even counts as interacting. I’m starting to wonder if this is my cue to exit gracefully, or I would if it weren’t for the headmaster’s watching my every move.

(One or more of the gods would probably smite you dead for that, you know,) Nyx chides.

Why? Why do they even care? I don’t even care.

My Assistant sighs. (Because you made an oath, idiot. Sure, you didn’t know what it meant at the time, but it’s still binding. The gods don’t make exceptions for ignorance, as exceptional as yours is.)

Ha ha, very funny. This is the worst.

(Okay, so,) she lectures, (remember that this is your fault. You think it’s the worst? Look at her. Yes, her. She’s obviously got goals – real goals, unlike some monsters I know. It clearly involves her academy training, and because you’re an idiot, she’s now taking courses with you. Courses that she’s already completed or tested out of. That means that you managed to screw her out of all that time and effort. Plus, she’s sure to have friends in her own year! You’ve completely disrupted her academic life, on top of her personal life. She seemed happy enough with the personal part, uh, maybe too happy tbh…)

Yes, I understand. I’m the big bad monster, tearing everyone’s lives apart.

(At least you admit it.)

It’s not my fault it’s all so complicated!

She sighs again. (Really though. Tell me, how do you feel now that the headmaster has you pinned under his thumb?)

It sucks! I have to worry about any little thing I do setting him off and getting me killed or something. I can feel through this thing that he can just, tell me what to do, and I’ll have to do it.

(Compulsion, hmm? Gods, I can’t relate to that at all. Also, that was the point.)

What is?

(That whole sit-down meeting? That was a performance.)

How? It sure felt real.

(Yes. It wouldn’t have gotten the point across if it didn’t… but it seems like you missed it anyway, big surprise there.)

Hey!

She continues anyway. (That’s exactly what you did to that poor idiot. The one in your class, the one you forced into a blood pact.)

What’s your point?

(That is the point. How you feel right now, being bound to the headmaster’s will. That’s how that student felt. Do you enjoy it?)

No. Obviously.

(Do you think he enjoyed it?)

Do I have to care?

(Nemesis.)

I sigh a dust cloud. Izahne looks at me for a moment, but then looks away.

Alright, fine. So I have to care. What was I supposed to do?

(It’s simple. And, this is something you can apply in a lot of other places too.)

And…?

(If you have one of your ‘great ideas’, think about who it’s going to impact, and how you would feel if you were impacted in that way. It’s a part of empathy, thinking about how others feel about things.)

That’s it?

(That’s it.)

Huh. But, that gives me an idea.

My Assistant gives me a sideways look like she thinks I haven’t been paying attention to a word she said, but I’m pretty sure this is a good idea.

“Hey.” I square up in front of my paladin.

(You’re not going to throw a punch or something, are you?)

I ignore her, and when Izahne meets my gaze, I continue.

“Nyx just gave me a lesson on empathy, and I think I’m starting to understand some of it… I think.”

Her response is a flat stare.

“So, I had the idea to try combining my Skills, and thought it would be a good idea to test it. But I didn’t think about how that would affect the person I tested it on. And, that was a bad decision.”

She crosses her arms and says, “Go on.”

I take a breath. “So when I did that, I also didn’t think about what else it could do. Like if I’d eaten Mimir before he registered me with the Adventurer’s Guild.”

(That is a terrible example.)

Izahne sharpens her gaze, but stays silent.

“A-anyway! So when I did that, I didn’t think at all about how that could affect you, or anyone else. And that’s bad.”

…

“I mean. I know you got stuck in my classes with me now, because you’re supposed to watch me and keep me from doing, more bad things… and that means you got pulled out of the things you wanted to do, and you can’t be around the people in them you might want to be around. And that’s my fault.”

“And?”

“And I messed up. I’m sorry. This is what I need help with. Lots of people have told me now that if I want to keep talking to humans, even if it’s just to make them think I’m not some dangerous threat they need to hunt right away, I have to get better at this. And, I’m going to try, starting with this. I know it’s not going to be easy, all of these rules are still new to me. I used to be able to just, consume anything around me that wasn’t. well, immediately useful. Or interesting. But I can’t keep doing that.”

She closes her eyes for a moment, and then gives me a curt nod and starts walking past me, toward the dungeon entrance. I move to catch up with her.

It’s a pretty long walk, especially since neither of us know the movement spell to get out of a dungeon fast. What’s it called again? Eh, nevermind.

I get bored, which from the look on her face clearly isn’t a surprise to Nyx. Anyway, I want to try something that I know isn’t going to hurt anyone, or I don’t know, set everyone within a mile on fire or whatever. I focus on Verum Corpus, and what it feels like to have a body. And then while holding that feeling, I add in how it feels when I release it and drift. My body begins to dissolve, but only the part I’m focusing on. In this case, that’s my right hand, since Izahne is on my left.

Looks like a success.

(You’ve done that before, you know.)

Yes, but usually not intentionally. I’m going somewhere with this, be patient.

She sighs and faces away from me while muttering something about having all the time in the planes, but I’m not about to let her distract me. This is probably going to be useful.

Probably.

Anyway, now I focus on everything but my hands, and I dissolve into my comfortable cloud of dust and ash… except for my two, pristine hands floating in my midst.

I’ve missed my tendrils.

I turn to my paladin and say, “I have an idea that could help us in the future. Will you trust me?”

She looks at me for a moment, but finally asks, “What is it?”

“A way to move faster. Like I used to. Like I do when I’m alone. Here.”

I say nothing else, and quickly scoop her up under her knees and back. She’s surprised enough that she only flails a little bit, and only lets out one high pitched sound. Then I dissolve everything but my arms and enough of my torso to support her, and begin to drift.

“W-what are you…?” she begins, but cuts off as I immediately pick up speed, flying much faster than humans can walk.

But, I have another idea.

I move some of my particulate body in front of us, and gather it in a thin sheet. I increase its size and density until I can tell the wind isn’t hitting her like it did with Boz and the henchpets. Huh. I wonder what they’re doing now? Probably scaring more people in a back alley somewhere.

In a matter of minutes we’re at the dungeon entrance again, so I set Izahne down and reform the rest of my body.

That’s when I notice she’s beet red.

(Hey, so. Remember how you always put your clothes in your dimensional storage when you shift forms?) Nyx comments.

Yeah, what about it?

(And how people are usually weird about not wearing clothes?)

…

I look at my paladin, but she’s busy looking uncomfortable, her eyes pointing everywhere but at me.

Oh.