For the Record

Only several significantly concerning things later, we’ve finally made it to the first boss chamber, at the end of floor ten.

The same one that claimed Taerys’ life, our previous healer.

But we’ve had time to review exactly what went wrong. Everything did, if I’m being honest with myself… but we can do better now. For one, our new healer is ridiculously strong, as is her attached vanguard…

Sometimes a melee fighter or other kind of tough accompanies a healer or other support adventurer as a bodyguard of some kind, just because they’re sometimes kidnapped… but I can’t help but feel like the relationship between these two is reversed…

But as long as they can fulfill their roles, it’s probably fine.

Probably.

I sigh into my trail rations, this time two strips of overly salted meat dried enough to fashion them into armor. Hopefully we’re more prepared this time…

Before, our biggest mistake was optimism.

It’s only the tenth floor, we’d said.

There’s no way the boss is that much more difficult than the earlier floors’ monsters, we’d said.

And we were wrong. Absolutely dead wrong.

***

“Aren’t you laying it on a little thick?”

“Maybe,” I shrug back to my chief knight, her humanoid form concealing the no doubt terrifying centipede monster within. “But how often am I going to get the chance to play a role like this? Ah, don’t answer that.”

Vivi sighs in reply and leaves it at that, which is fine. She’d been delivering her morning report regarding my plane, noticeably earlier now due to “my” party’s sleep schedule in the dungeon. At least they didn’t bother assigning me to a shift of night watch, although their decision on the matter was likely more related to their ongoing distrust and even fear of me.

Which is good. They absolutely should be afraid of me, I am terrifying!

Now, why have I bothered returning here every night? Well, there’s a very important reason, you see…

I’d promised Livvie that I’d be here.

…

And she was waiting. Soul weakened as she is, she still wanted to bathe with me, rub weirdly scented oils all over me, and then hold me at night on the side opposite Izahne.

…Who is much more receptive to the divine beast’s presence, possibly because of what they’ve both been through… but I find it more likely that she’s just too terrified of everything right now to raise any kind of concern.

I genuinely hope I’ll see her smile again someday, and hopefully someday soon. Right now it’s…

It’s just too sad.

She’s still not herself, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I’d talked to a number of experts and read a great many books on the subject of ‘post-traumatic stress’, especially long-term trauma… but most of the advice hasn’t been particularly helpful, at least not for a literal goddess. The only thing that seems to have any potential at all…

Exposure.

Simply forcing her to face it, until she finally adapts.

…Or she just breaks completely, which I’d really rather avoid… but I genuinely don’t know what else to do, and so off to the dungeon we go, where she can dismantle as many humanoid monsters as possible and be forced to interact with or at least be in the presence of actual humans.

I’d considered, I don’t know, large crowd events? But the thought of forcing her to be around large numbers of humans when she’s struggling with intrusively visualizing how to vivisect each one she sees in a way to maximize suffering…

Well. It seems like it would be counterproductive. I know she’s still struggling with it, even just with the three humans we’ve been delving into the dungeon with.

Ceto really hurt her.

He hurt her so much.

…

The monster deserved far worse than what I did to him… although at least I don’t need to worry about him ever reincarnating… there’s literally nothing left of his soul to be reborn.

I ripped him completely apart, every single mote, and then consigned them all to the void within me.

Which is apparently a thing. Not that it’s much of a problem… most of it stays in my real body in the sky, hidden in plain sight where hopefully no one who wants to wake me up will ever see it. No, only a little bit is here… but still enough to empower Consume, the reason why I can destroy souls to begin with.

It explains a lot, especially why it’s unheard of… void magic isn’t even a thing here. Void Skills? Nope, nothing of the sort. The Record would have classified them as overpowered, unbalanced, or whatever else and then excluded them entirely.

But that’s fine. I have no problem with being overpowered… especially now that I’m strong enough to threaten just about anyone but grandmother.

Probably.

***

The door slams shut behind us… just like the last time.

And just like the last time, the tenth floor boss’ draconic mount lets out a blood-curdling shriek, as its orcish rider jerks the reins and drives the both of them into the air above the high-ceilinged circular room.

Unlike last time, however, we’re not going to use our standard formation… leaving our casters at the rear is how we lost Taerys, and how we almost lost Rosalie.

I’m not losing anyone else, not here, not now.

And so, instead of that, we’ll–

“Form a ring. Tanks to outside, support with damage dealers. Casters to center. Go.”

Yes, that. Exactly what the gorgon said in that oddly smooth voice of hers, although she hadn’t been a part of our planning… she and her ‘wife’ had already retired for the night every time we discussed over our evening meal. Where does she even go? I have no idea, other than that we’ve confirmed that strange portal appears in their tent each time, and they don’t return until morning. Frederick once suggested we watch the portal for their return just so we could see what exactly happens, but Rosalie and I vetoed that plan… too dangerous, much too dangerous.

We need to stay on those things’ good side.

“Focus!” Frederick snaps, pulling me from my rumination – and he’s right, I have no time to think about this, the boss monster is already diving straight toward us with its spear leveled!

Thanks to our formation, a type usually used for large groups of enemies who surround a party, we’re prepared for when it suddenly curves to the side and angles for the rear of the group…

…And directly into a lunge from the skittish vanguard, with a look of unexpectedly feral glee suddenly washing across her face… and a strange laugh.

Meanwhile, the boss’ mount lets out one final shriek, before one of its wings and both of its front legs just… fall off, cleanly severed.

I only saw that shadowy blade she pulls from nowhere flash once, how did she do that?

And then I notice the vague disruptions in the air around her, floating, spinning, drifting.

What are those?

Ravona doesn’t react at all as the rest of my party stares on dumbfounded. The boss, or at least the rider if you count the beast and rider as a single unit, quickly pulls itself free of the mount’s rapidly disassembling remains and is actually backing up with a look of fear.

…

“Well? Go on then.”

The rest of us simply look on in shock as the diminutive shaman idly gestures for us to advance… which I guess we probably should?

After a glance and a shrug, we do just that.

***

“Why did we have so much trouble with that last time?”

Frederick is sitting on the ground by the reward chest that lifted from the ground after we finished off the orc rider, an easy task considering it was poorly armed and armored for anything other than cavalry. Despite our unexpectedly easy victory, we’re deep sighs all around.

Taerys should have survived this. How could we have messed up this fight so badly?

And that awful gorgon just keeps watching me with that equally unsettling smile.

“What? What is it?” I snap before I can catch myself.

The childish giggle she emits is a complete mismatch for her expression. “You overreact and ruminate. I find it fascinating.”

“What is so ‘fascinating’ about us remembering our dead friend?” Rosalie answers in disbelief.

“Simple. You are so young – all of you. You lose one friend and react as though nothing will ever be the same. How many of my people have died? How many have been killed unnecessarily by those who were unnecessarily hostile? How many times have I been in this same situation, and yet not reacted thus? Many. Many times. And yet, this is a reason why I find you humans so fascinating. Your attachment to a single individual… enough that their loss impacts everything.”

“Then tell me,” I glare and point at the vanguard. “How would you react if you lost her?”

As soon as the hasty words leave my mouth, I regret my decision.

Ravona’s smile vanishes.

“I did once.”

And then she unexpectedly rises from the floor – literally, floats from her idle sitting position – and snaps to within an inch of my face. I shiver from her ice-cold breath despite my thick facial hair.

“I slew hundreds of thousands in my search, and you would foolishly encourage adding to their number. Three more insignificant human lives would not amount to a single drop of blood in the ocean of my violence,” she growls in a suddenly sinister voice reminiscent of the rasp of steel on stone as a wave of hostility orders of magnitude stronger than I’ve ever felt washes over me. “You will not repeat your query; I have been exceedingly patient with you – ALL of you. But even I have limits, and you choose to carelessly approach them.”

I stumble back and lose my footing, taking an impromptu seat on the floor as the thump from the impact echoes from the vaulted ceiling.