For the Record

So that was a fight alright. All in my head of course…

In the end we wound up right back where we started… she’s not talking to me, pissed at me, and convinced that everything I do has a hostile ulterior motive.

Which, considering how I’ve been over the past few hundred years and change, I can’t say I blame her. I’ve been a monster in the proverbial sense too.

Which brings me back to the problem directly in front of me. My wife.

Arty is still clinging to me, which… I admittedly don’t mind. Something about her presence is comforting.

I guess it’s my turn to take care of her. It’s fine if it takes years… at least she’s conscious. That’s a definite plus.

But Izahne may as well be unconscious.

I can’t say I’m keen on the idea, but I guess I may as well know a bit more about whatever is going on in her head… she seems physically fine, better than fine even.

She even has a Vessel she got for free, all she needed was for Ceto to die and she is free as well.

Well, first things first.

Stand, I intone through our bond.

And sure enough, Izahne stands… at stark attention too, like a properly trained honor guard.

…

Huh.

I guess that answers one question… that asshole did say she broke.

I wonder how. Not that I’d want to repeat it, of course.

Well, except maybe on vampires.

Or Erebus, the point being that I’d reserve it for actual enemies who actually deserve it.

Not some poor fool who happened to wander into my plane. It’s not even one of the hells for a reason… open access.

I’d always wanted it that way. My people get boring in a hurry if they don’t have any outside cultural influences.

…

I’m sure I’ll get used to… all of this going on in my head eventually. Probably.

Act freely, I offer next…

And nothing changes. Izahne continues standing at attention.

I reach toward her, and she starts to shake again.

Another sigh escapes me. We aren’t getting anywhere like this.

Although…

“Julis,” I call down the hallway behind us. I know better than to think he isn’t always somewhere at hand, because he absolutely is.

Not even a few seconds later the large man is near the doorway. “I serve my lady and not you. Do not forget this.”

“Oh, I’m aware. I just wanted to ask you to try something… it’s to both my benefit and that of your lady.”

“Ho? And how is that?”

I grit my teeth at his tone but manage to swallow my anger, at least for now. He clearly needs retraining, but he’s not mine to retrain.

“This one is my wife, and a companion to Lady Artemis. Also, the sooner she has recovered, the sooner she won’t be here using your resources. She’ll be using mine instead.”

He rubs his chin for a moment before nodding slightly. “Very well. What is it you require?”

“I want you to reach toward her as if you’re going to touch her.”

Julis looks confused for a moment before shrugging and stepping through the doorway and towards my fractured wife…

Who promptly starts shivering again, radiating fear.

Huh.

It’s not just me.

She’s afraid of everyone.

…

“Does this answer your questions then?” the big man asks.

“Yes,” I answer while rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Yes it does. Thank you.”

Julis promptly excuses himself with a small bow before disappearing back through the doorway to wherever it is he was hiding before, leaving the three of us alone in this small room.

With no better idea of what to do.

…

Maybe I should just hope she’ll come around eventually… but something tells me it won’t be that easy.

…

…

That Vessel is how the fishman was controlling her, right?

…

“Livvie dear? How does one break a Vessel?”

***

It’s simpler than I’d anticipated…

And absolutely not something I’d want to do to my wife. She’s far too fragile for me to clobber her with physical damage until it just shatters.

I’ll have to find another way. Maybe the words of creation…

Which… actually isn’t a bad idea, though I feel like I’ve been depending on them an awful lot lately ever since I figured out how to use my own divinity to fuel it. I still can’t believe it was so simple.

(Because you’re an idiot.)

I thought you weren’t talking to me.

And silence is my answer. Because of course it is.

…

Well. Even if I’m using the same tool over and over again, as long as it stays useful there shouldn’t be an issue. Even Vulcan used almost nothing but Spellspeech over and over…

Although that was also Spellspeech.

…

It’s probably not much different if at all. Just that his worked within the Record, and mine is outside it…

That should still be fine.

I take a moment to think about my wording… and then pause.

Maybe I should just give her a chance to recover on her own…

“What do you think, Livvie? Should I try to break her Vessel in case it’s what keeping her subservient?”

The injured goddess on my arm tilts her head and thinks for a moment before responding. “Save. Trapped.”

Well, that’s that then. I continue planning my… spell, I guess…

Once I’m done, I speak it. And once again, it’s in some strange language I don’t understand.

Or at least I think I don’t. Something tells me I could understand it if I willed it. But something about it is… wrong. Somehow.

Like I’m not supposed to learn it. Like I shouldn’t.

Either way, sure enough, Izahne’s body just falls apart into dust, leaving her behind… looking exactly like before, plus a thin haze hanging around her.

The same kind I can feel around Artemis if I try to see it, apparently.

Maybe that’s how to tell if a god is in a Vessel?

“Izzy? Are you there? Can you hear me?”

She doesn’t respond at first, not for a few minutes. Staring straight ahead seems to be all she’s capable of.

And then she sniffles.

I move forward to take her in my arms. “It’s okay. You’re free now.”

But her reaction is less than hopeful… apparently she’s still afraid, it’s not an effect of the Vessel like the control characteristics, because she backs away as fast as she can until she’s pressed in the corner hyperventilating.

“Woah woah woah!” I say in surprise before catching myself and using a gentler tone. “Woah, Izzy. It’s alright. I know he did a lot of horrible things to you.”

…

Her lips move briefly, though I can’t tell what she said. Maybe she didn’t make any sound at all, because if she had I’d have heard it. Probably.

“Will you say that again, dear? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I d-did the horrible th-things,” she finally gets out. “S-stay away or I’ll do them t-to you too.”

“Did he force you to do them?” I ask calmly.

She slides slowly down to the floor, her hands failing to conceal the tears streaming down her face as she nods silently.

I see.

“I won’t force you to do anything. I’ll kill anyone who does. And besides…”

I project some images to her through our bond. Or I suppose it’s beginning to resemble the link I have with Artemis… it definitely has two sides to it now, a dual bond, but the second one is… withered, somehow. Maybe unopened.

Anyway, I send her memories of the war.

Memories of killing mortals by the thousands.

Maybe it’s a mistake considering how fragile she is now, but she needs to know.

She needs to know how badly I’ve failed.

“I couldn’t take losing you. Something broke in me, and I gave in to my nature. I’m sorry. It’s one more reason why I need you with me… I’m a better person when I’m with you.”

Izahne continues quietly crying, but she does at least offer me a quick glance between her fingers before hiding her face again.

This is clearly going to take some time, but at least she knows now.

“As far as I know, the pantheons are still at war. Oh, and I joined the dark pantheon. And um, made Sekhmet my subordinate, with Grandmother’s help. I don’t abuse her though, I just take a tithe of blood now and then… and otherwise leave her alone with her son. Apparently gods can have children, who knew.”

…

I wonder if she could now. I know she really wanted to… but I’m not going to get her hopes up in case that didn’t change.

Not that I’d have any idea how to make that happen. We’re both women anyway.

…

I’m a woman? Since when? No I’m not.

…

…

Well, whatever. Not that it matters.

“And the castle fell apart. I kind of lost my temper a lot… and stopped caring about everything. Even my people… adventurers kept fighting and then came to me to resolve their disputes, so I just killed them all as an example. So I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve done horrible things, but I’m going to try to be better now. It matters because you’re back. That’s what you mean to me. An anchor to meaning.”

She’s still quietly sobbing, but I can tell through our bond that she’s both a little comforted and completely horrified.

And she should be, but it’s still an awful feeling to know she’s this mortified by my mistakes, even though they had real costs to mortalkind that I can’t easily replace.

I guess that’s just my burden to bear.

“Can I sit next to you, maybe? I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t even try to touch you, and I can sit farther away if you want.”

She stares at me for a moment before offering a small nod.

Progress.

We’re making progress.

I can’t help but sigh with some amount of relief.