For the Record

…But before that, I guess I should do a few more things… at least to keep myself busy.

We’d decided that nightfall would be the most thematically appropriate time, after all… not that we can tell when that is here in the constant night.

At least Izahne can tell, just like she always has. And just like always, we got up together this ‘morning’ after she was done pretending to sleep.

Probably.

…

I guess I haven’t really figured out whether she’s actually sleeping at night or just pretending to, but I’m not going to complain. Something about it is relaxing. It’s a comfortable place, comfortable enough that it’s almost strange to me how out of place I felt with it before.

Now it’s just become routine; Night (sort of) falls, and we retire to my chambers.

Anyway, it’s morning now, and again the maids have served an unnecessary meal of the local fare. Artemis’ portion is undercooked if cooked at all, which also comes as no surprise considering I’d specifically asked the staff to prepare it that way. I know she prefers it.

After a larger meal than usual (the maids are also aware of today’s momentous occasion), we move on to our own affairs… my second first wife is going to do what she usually does, dive the dungeon along with Pearl, Omorth, and Eleonor.

…It’s actually the only time I can peel Omorth away from me these days. He follows me around everywhere. Which… I guess doesn’t surprise me much, given he considers himself my guard or whatever.

Not that I need one. Although… I’ve had a few assassination attempts from surprisingly weak assassins, only one of which actually made it past the animated sword to immediately fall directly through my instantaneously dispersing body. My reflexes are quite good if I do say so myself, I’ve gotten skilled with catching attackers flying through me with my feelers. Apparently some kind of, uhhh. ‘Business interests’ are sending them? Not that I have any idea what kind of business interests would consider attacking me profitable or whatever.

As if that wasn’t weird enough, Tathra of all people is giving me a weird look for complaining about it.

“What?”

A moment of brow furrowing and chin pinching later he replies, “You could simply bankrupt them, I’m certain it wouldn’t be difficult.”

…

That’s not a bad idea. There’s just one problem… a very minor one.

“And what in the hells does ‘bankrupt’ mean?”

***

A very complicated and annoying hour of explanation later and I still have no idea how exactly economies work, outside of “people acquire things” and “those people sell them to other people” and “sometimes those people make them into other things and sell them again”.

What I definitely know though, is I got something a bit better than I’d thought when I, ahem, “rehomed” the would-be dead man.

Though I haven’t bothered looking for his “Master Sahura” yet. Well, whatever. I’m sure the guy will turn up. His blood is delicious though, maybe grandmother will gift me more sometime.

Anyway, Tathra is apparently some kind of… business general… thing? A financial expert, in his words. He played a role in maintaining Sekhmet’s wealth and the wealth of her cult, in addition to being a bodyguard for whoever exactly his young master was.

So of course, I’m going to put him in charge of my own, since I doubt anyone else here has any talent with it.

(Hey! You didn’t even bother to ask me!) Nyx snaps.

Well, you’re always so busy making stuff – see, there’s that ‘make stuff’ thing he was talking about! I figured you didn’t bother with any of it. Kind of like me I guess, except I’m not usually making stuff. Other than more retainers I guess, and making you and Izzy angry.

(You’re not wrong there… but no, I did my own finances for, let’s just say a very long time.)

Great! Then you can help.

My former Assistant sighs through our link. (I never said I’d help.)

Then why did you even bring it up?

…

…

Not going to answer?

(No, not going to dignify that with a response.)

Fine then, be that way.

(Fine, I will!)

While Nyx and I are arguing, Tathra has just been standing in front of me with a patient expression.

“Ah, sorry.”

And he immediately scowls. “Do not apologize to your inferiors, your queenship. If you want to rule, you need to always project the image of a ruler.”

“Don’t tell me. You spent a great many hour trying to drill that into your ‘young master’s head, didn’t you?”

“I certainly did,” he replies with a chuckle. “Not to much effect. I suppose it will have a limited impact here as well.”

“I don’t particularly care.”

“Neither did he.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, I’m putting you in charge of my business dealings, at least for now. Use the treasury and plan the planes… economy, yes? Your first objective is to squash whoever keeps sending these damned assassins. Maybe pay them to go kill their old bosses? Yeah, that sounds fun.”

“Hm, hm,” he hums back with a thoughtful expression. “That may be difficult, but I can attempt it. Much more likely to be effective would be to simply identify their core investments and crush those. Then they would have to live with the knowledge that they once had financial power, and you took it away on a whim entirely because they couldn’t leave well enough alone.”

Ooh! I knew I picked the right person!

“Yes, do that.”

(I would’ve suggested that too, you know.)

But you didn’t, so shut up.

(Fine!)

***

And now, just like that, it’s already time for my second first wife’s ritual.

Eris really did go all out with this. With Rose’s help we’ve reshaped part of the garden into several concentric circles of flowers and hedges all to direct visual focus to the center of the arrangement, where apparently Izahne will stand with the rest of us in a circle around her, as well as my clergy gathered from the towns and even some of Eris’ and Artemis’ own clergy to add… oh, what was the word she used… Gravity? Grandstanding?

(Gravitas,) Nyx corrects.

Sure, we’ll go with that.

And she sighs back.

Well, don’t get too comfortable over there because I’m expecting you to be here too.

(I know, I know.)

“What are you talking about?”

“Hm?”

Izahne is giving me a look, though not nearly as pointed as in the past. I guess she finally accepted that I didn’t want to… what, lay next to Nyx and pretend to sleep?

“How I don’t know what ‘gravitas’ means.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

My clergy forms large circles around the garden, standing in gaps between the reshaped plant life… it’s probably for the best that I’ve been restraining my usual temptation to pull some vitality from it all, considering it’d probably turn brown or wilt or something.

Yeah, definitely a good idea. I can tell that Izahne is nervous but excited, and something like that would definitely get me into more unnecessary trouble with her later.

(Good call.)

Hey, I’m learning.

Anyway.

Interspersed with my own clergy are some of Artemis’ and Eris’, spread out into even intervals as if the pattern had some kind of meaning, but I’ll probably never know what. And that’s fine! Rituals don’t really matter that much.

R-really, they don’t! Not even the ones where my clergy come to my throne room to prostrate themselves and babble about how awesome and great and wonderful and merciful I am! And of course I am, I could reduce them all to dust with a thought!

…

My wife is wearing a particularly… fancy robe? No… that’s not the word… It’s not even that ornate. It’s definitely some kind of special white robe though, run through all over with colorful ribbons.

I’m almost surprised she’s not wearing her usual armor, the set I made for her. You know, since she wears it everywhere. But considering my other wife and my guest both collaborated (or argued) about what to dress her in and finally compromised on whatever this is…

It’ll do just fine. At least it’s not another one of those… what did Eleonor call it? “Goth-loli” dresses? The kind Arty keeps putting on me for some reason.

But she seems so happy about it, I kind of don’t want to say no. So I don’t.

Ah, looks like it’s actually time now. The mortals have started chanting, and the other two goddesses have taken their spots.

Nyx materializes in a burst of feathers, barely on time-

(Right on time, you mean. Not a second wasted.)

Sure, whatever.

I take my place as well, forming a triangle with the other two and Nyx to my left shoulder.

“It is time,” Eris says, dripping with dramatic weight. And she looks at the two of us, who nod.

“A momentous occasion stands before us. The ascendant Izahne Sebelle Imari, child of Vulcan, bride of the Goddess Nemesis, has reached her potential. And so, it is with great honor and respect that I, Eris, do initiate her apotheosis.”

Her eyes subtly slide toward mine, so this is definitely my cue.

“I, Nemesis, wife of Izahne, do sponsor and support this initiation.”

“Artemis,” my other wife intones, “support.”

Well, we already knew she wasn’t going to say much, so Eris had written much shorter lines for her.

From the glow emanating from the central circle and Izahne herself, this short and uninvolved ceremony is apparently plenty. A look of elation and accomplishment washes over her face…

And then surprise, concern, and finally fear.

“What’s…” she starts, before her body begins dispersing into flecks of light, and seconds before it finishes her panicked eyes find me. “I love you! I’m sorr-” she blurts.

…

…

“Uh. Eris?” I ask the wide-eyed goddess across the now-empty circle. “Where is my wife?”