For the Record

This guy really can talk, can’t he? Does he have like, a special evolution where he doesn’t have to breathe?

(He’s probably another Spirit type,) my Assistant offers.

“-And the twenty-seventh most recent recorded case of a sentient item, that being the radiant blade Netherbane, said to have been wielded by the Sword Saint Elsworth himself no less! And yet that one was also bestowed upon him by one of the pantheon, meaning approximately 83% of known cases were found via divine intervention, while another 16% were found as a result of conquering a fully-matured dungeon and binding its core! You must understand why I can find it so fascinating that you, in the thought-impossible 1% of sentient items believed to have spontaneously come into existence, in a realm of below-average mana composition!? It speaks portents of strange events, possibly a destabilization in the plane or the state of mana itself!”

I see. That’s, ah. All very interesting, but my wielder does have things he would like to accomplish, if you could finish up with your questions?

“Ah, AH! My apologies, yes, yes, terribly sorry. But you must understand why-”

Yes, I understand. Your questions?

Mimir inhales deeply to start apologizing again but mercifully catches himself. “Ah, y-yes. Well. If you would, may I Identify you?”

I would prefer you not. Do you normally ask first?

He very expressively gasps. “How… how could I NOT!? By the gods, so disrespectful it would be, to you, to your crafter, to the very materials of which you are comprised! I could never, I could never!”

Ah. I see. What exactly are you trying to find out?

“Anything about your origins, that might indicate other related events, links to other similar items, or possibly even your role or purpose given forth by the cosmos. Very few things are truly due to chance.”

And what will you do with that information?

“Why, protect it! My sole purpose is simply to know! Ah, how fulfilling it would be, simply to understand…”

Nyx chooses this moment to interject. (If this weirdo is anything like the last Mimir, his Domain is memory. He means it when he just wants to know and remember it. It’s all he does with any information he gathers.)

Then…

(Please don’t.)

I will allow it, on the condition that you inform no one else, and that you take no action in response to it.

(Or, do it anyway. Who cares what I think, I’m just your Assistant.)

I genuinely didn’t expect to walk into the guild to be faced with a grown man hopping up and down like a child who was just gifted the deed to a candy store. “Oh, I swear it, I swear it!”

As soon as the words have left his mouth, I feel the probing touch of information magic, but somehow sharper than usual?

(Considering his role, he probably has a very high level in Identify.)

That makes sense.

Tell me, what do you see?

Ah, confusion. “To be frank, I’m not quite sure. You have a level, which is fairly standard for sentient items, but. You are a manaphage? Are you possessing that object, willingly or unwillingly?”

I can interact with the world outside of it, if that is what you are asking. In a sense, my present form is of my own choosing, but I have no need to seek changing it.

I manifest four feelers and use them to poke each member of my party. They unsurprisingly jump. I can’t say I blame them though, if I’d been trapped in this room listening to this conversation drag on I’d look like I was gradually undergoing zombification on my feet as well.

And, mister monocle sure seems to thinks it was exciting. “Most peculiar, most peculiar indeed! Sentient items most commonly are bound to the will of their wielder, offering boons like temporary skills or in rare cases counsel! Which leaves me with two questions – for now.”

He leans closer until his face is a mere inch from me.

“Why is your status red?”

I have a title that marks me as an enemy of all creation, although I did nothing to acquire it and do not consent to having it.

“I see. I must admit, that is not all too uncommon.”

He furrows his brow.

“Which makes my final question all the more poignant.”

I proverbially swallow.

What is it?

He closes his eyes, takes a breath, and then exhales before asking, “Are you both an ascendant and in fact not a sentient item at all, by any chance?”

***

Well, that could have gone much worse.

(Ooh, you are so hells-damned lucky that that idiot is literally incapable of forgetting the promise he made,) Nyx quips.

And, well. She’s not wrong. Again.

(As usual.)

Sure.

(By the way, items don’t get titles.)

Hey, wait. Is that how he-

(Yep.)

Huh.

Anyway, enough about that, I’m hungry!

How much further to the first rat nest, Boz?

“Should be right up ahead, boss,” my lead henchpet answers. Good.

After spending a solid week slurping up rat souls (with nightly rests at the guild’s inn, I’m not a complete monster), I can safely say I’ve stayed sated, and might maybe just have a-

(Read your messages.)

Fine.

[Lesser DireRat slain, 120 Experience has been awarded!]

…

[Lesser DireRat slain, 120 Experience has been awarded!]

[Quest completed, 500 Experience has been awarded!]

Well I’ll be damned, I should have been taking quests to begin with, it’s literally free experience for doing what I’ve already been doing to begin with.

(Yep.)

[Consume has reached Level 12!]

[Corporeal Form has reached Level 6!]

[Thought Projection has reached Level 6!]

Ok, mhmm, no surprises there so far…

[Mana Thirst has been temporarily sated.]

Yes, good…

[User has earned enough Experience for a Level Increase!]

[Begin Level Increase Process? Y/N]

Nope!

(Good, you do learn.)

We return to the guild to turn in our quests. It’s incredibly convenient how we only need to feed some mana into one of the terminals for it to read what we’ve been doing, and it promptly marks our quests complete before materializing a small cloth bag of coins from thin air.

How much did we get?

Boz sighs and then replies. “two thousand enni fer alla dem.”

That doesn’t sound like much. I’m going to assume that’s the reason why they changed their careers to ‘free-range goon’ before.

(Probably.)

Well, the experience is good at least. Anyway, I have some leveling to do.

Onward, oh faithful steed! To our room!

Our guild-assigned inn room is barely large enough for the two wooden beds and writing desk it contains, but you won’t hear me complain. I mean, if I did I’d have nothing to say but screams of pain!

(Very funny.)

I thought it was! Anyway, time to level up.

***

After a series of blackouts and excitedly finding nothing changing except my level number, I finally awaken to something different. And wouldn’t you know it to be a doozy.

[New Evolutions are available!]

[New Classes are available!]

Now this is what I’m talking about.