For the Record

“Well, Permanence really does what it says, huh?”

(I doubt it’d be called that if it didn’t,) Nyx quips.

I’m standing in the audience chamber I’d made from the old boss room in the forest dungeon, and unlike the nondescript and plain ruins of the rest of the tunnel system, this one room is completely intact.

Well, aside from the hidden door in the back, the one that used to lead to Rose’s sanctum. I’d discussed moving the core to the castle but we’d never actually gotten around to it, so I assume if there’s anything left of it then it’d be in here.

“Why are we here again?” Pearl impatiently asks.

My wife glances idly at the spot on the wall Vivianne had propelled her into during the challenge her party had brought all those years ago. It’s spotless, of course, because Permanence.

I glance over my shoulder at the former healer. “I’m going to try to resurrect Rose. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I think it’s worth a try.”

And she replies with a long sigh.

Good to know we share goals.

Anyway.

I idly drift through the open passageway until I reach the end.

Sand.

Last time I was here, it was a dry pond and the remains of plants… but not even that remains now.

I glance across the floor with the magic-sensing component of True Sense, and –

“We’re wasting our time.”

“No, Pearl, we are not wasting our time.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

Without another word, I use Telekinesis to start pulling sand from… the, uh. The rest of the sand.

And I start into the same series of Spellspeech I’d used to resurrect Omorth.

***

“Ow.”

I apparently passed out right there, on the sandy floor of the core room.

Although… I must not have been out for very long, considering Artemis isn’t present and our bonds are rippling relief instead of the panic and worry I’ve been growing accustomed to.

…

I wonder what kinds of things she feels from me when I think those kinds of things?

Or anything at all?

“Greetings, master.”

Hm? Is it just me or does that sound a lot less raspy than usual?

…

And why are there two Izahnes?

They must have figured something out considering I’ve been glancing between them for a moment, because one of them sighs and points to the other. “That’s Rose.”

Huh.

“Hi Rose. Why do you look like Izahne?” I ask, only slightly blearily.

“Our programming lacked a previously set Avatar form, and considering our master was not conscious to access the usual protocols, we have created a temporary Avatar utilizing nearby lifeforms. We await your programming.”

“Um, actually,” I start, “that’s not bad, just uhh… sure. Change your hair to green, I think? That should be enough to tell you apart.”

My wife glares at me for a moment.

“Wait no, actually, why don’t you pick some other random combination of uhhh mortal characteristics? And we’ll go with that. Yeah.”

The glare hasn’t abated, but Rose simply shrugs and morphs into…

…Something that looks like a combination of me and Izahne.

“Not quite random, but I guess that will work.”

The dungeon core bows neatly. “Our apologies, master. It is difficult to produce random results from a sample set of two.”

I glance at Pearl, but clearly Rose didn’t see her as a person. Huh.

“How about this,” I ask, “is this better?”

My wife sighs. “I guess.”

With a chuckle Pearl says, “Well at least now we know if you had kids somehow, they’d look weird.”

…

“I don’t get it.”

Although Izahne apparently does, considering how deep of a gray she’s blushing now.

(Don’t look at me, I’m still not explaining it.)

***

“Alright, move your core here.”

I’ve just finished creating a nook underneath my throne room for Rose to hide its main body. That should be good enough for now.

Apparently all it needed to do is mark this area as part of the dungeon and poof, moving the core was no trouble at all. I guess it’s more difficult if there are challengers in the dungeon at the time?

And the three of us definitely aren’t challengers.

…

Which brings me back to the problem.

“How in the hells am I supposed to get mortals back here!?” I howl to the rafters, to which Izahne gives me a whap on the back of my head.

“Yeah, I know. Too loud.”

“I’d say to talk like a normal person, but you’re not remotely normal,” Pearl quips.

(She’s right.)

“Oh great, now there’s two of you.”

My wife offers me a sideways glance, but I continue anyway. “Really though. I have to repopulate the plane or the rabbit is going to get mad again. Apparently I’m on strike two or whatever that means.”

…

“We could rebuild the dungeon and set it to offer better than usual rewards,” Izahne suggests.

“Hmm, not bad. I feel like that would only attract one kind of crowd though… we might have a lot of adventurers visit, but I don’t know if they’d actually want to move here…”

Pearl shrugs. “Free real estate worked last time, and you’ve already rebuilt the towns and hells, remade those creepy priests again. Maybe we just need to find the right kind of people? You know, desperate ones?”

“I mean, we could try it? Somehow it just feels like it’s missing something, or that mortals will remember the chaos from almost a decade ago and think it’s just too dangerous…”

“Then we just need to find ones young enough that they wouldn’t know about it,” Izahne chimes in, “or from planes so cut off from the others that they wouldn’t have had the chance to hear about it to begin with.”

(Is… Is Izzy starting to think like you? Are you rubbing off on her? That’s a scary thought.)

Oh shut up.

“I guess we have some starting points at least… although I’m pretty sure ‘come have an audience with a goddess’ isn’t going to be enough.”

“Yeah, no way,” Pearl says dismissively. “Besides, you don’t look like a goddess, you look like a flesh-eating monster, offense intended.”

“Thank you, and you too, miss sludge tentacle.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you turned me into this.”

I nod. “Yeah, fair enough.”

…

ALTHOUGH!

(Oh no.)

No, really! This could be good!

I haven’t tried this before, so I’m not completely sure where to start… but if I treat it like every other time I’ve bent a Skill sideways to make it do something it probably wasn’t supposed to…

Pressing my will against my form through Verum Corpus, I feel something inside myself strain until it finally gives.

And Izahne blinks, moving closer. “Did you just…?”

“How about now? Still a flesh-eating monster?”

She shakes her head. “No, you’re back to normal. Or, how you were before, anyway.”

“You can do that!?” miss sludge tentacle says in shock.

Yeah.

Yeah I can.

“Well, that was fascinating, but I’m not any closer to having mortals here again…”

(Hey, try to sound at least a little excited about it.)

Why bother? This is an obligation. I don’t even really care, it’s nice having my own castle and so forth but otherwise I’d probably be satisfied enough terrorizing Artemis’ challengers at her arena. That’s plenty of human interaction for me.

(Suit yourself.)

I did! Ever since Artemis stopped following around I’ve been able to pick what I wear!

Nyx sighs. (And you’re using all that freedom to wear my old, stained robes still.)

Yes! They’re really comfortable!

I can’t see her since she’s not here, but I can tell she’s rubbing the bridge of her nose.

…

I stretch out on my throne, laying sideways across the armrests so my feet can dangle.

…

…

…!

“Oh gods, I’ve been overthinking this again.”

Izahne gives me a questioning look. “How so?”

I stand up straight on the cushion.

“Rose!” I bark.

The not-indra-hodgepodge appears in a flash of gray mist… yeah, that’s a change alright.

“Yes, master?” it asks.

“I have important questions! First of all… How big can a dungeon be?”

It tilts its head. “Size is proportional to supplied mana. Typically only a small portion of a plane’s mana is supplied, so dungeons are relatively small in comparison.”

“And if I gave it a lot more?”

“Then it could be bigger,” it answers.

I nod. This is progress. “And do they have to be underground, or inside of a tower or something?”

“Technically, no.”

“Where are you going with this?” Pearl asks while Izahne looks on curiously.

“The answer to my mortal problems, is where I’m going with this!” I say triumphantly.

“Alright, Rose. Last question. Can you spawn sentient monsters, and if so how many? How quickly?”

“Yes, proportional to mana invested, proportional to mana invested,” the core Avatar replies flatly.

“Perfect.”

My wife scratches her head. “I don’t really get it.”

I give her an award winning grin – though I can feel my dagger teeth slip back in a bit.

“We’re going to make the entire plane a dungeon and populate it with sentient monsters. If I’m a sentient monster and I count, then so will they!”

(Wonderful. You realize you’re begging for every single wannabe hero in all the planes to come here to try to conquer you? What, with building The Castle of the Demon Lord Nemesis, complete with haunted forest and hordes of monsters.)

Good! Let them come. They can join Dipshit in making my treasury look full.