First Song

Mum and Sarah would be asleep by now, so it fell to me to ensure that our visitor was seen to, and their bedding prepared.

I led Casey upstairs, hauling her luggage after me. I’d glance back at her every few steps to make sure she was following – this was definitely the only reason.

We passed my bedroom, heading for the spare room that we have reserved for guests. Casey peered through my door as we passed, her eyebrows lifting curiously at what she saw inside. She was too polite to say anything though.

The spare room was tiny, and sparsely furnished. It had two single beds, each tucked into a corner with just about enough room to move between them. This was where our cousins had been sleeping when they’d visited, and Mum had since stripped the beds down to their mattresses.

I directed Casey inside, giving her an apologetic smile. She returned the smile with her own tired one. I felt a blush beginning to rise in my cheeks, and I ducked out of the room to find her some bedding.

A quick rifle through the airing cupboard found most of the things she’d need.

“Hey, would I be able to get some water?” she asked me once I’d bundled the pillows into a pile and placed the folded sheet on the bed she’d chosen. I’d still need to find her a quilt.

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Sorry. I should have asked,” I replied, feeling a blush threatening to return. She might be hungry, too.

Gosh. I was so nervous, like a schoolgirl or something.

When I came back with a glass of water and a plate of biscuits, she’d already put the sheet on and stacked the pillows at one end of the bed.

I set the plate down on a small cabinet we kept in the corner.

“Do you have blankets?” she asked, her voice a hushed whisper. “I couldn’t find any in the closet where you were looking.”

“I’ll find you a quilt,” I answered, my voice echoing her own softness. The tumbler of water was still in my hand, so I offered it out for her.

Her eyes never stopped gazing into me as she slipped both her hands around the glass, her fingers capturing mine. Tingles of warmth ran along my shoulder blades and down my spine at our contact.

We stood that way for several seconds; my gaze flittering over her features and hers over mine. But eventually she broke the spell, allowing me to pull my hand away.

On the inside, was busy melting into a puddle.

She watched me with an amused half-smile while I tried to recover my composure. I cleared my throat delicately.

“Thanks,” she said, lifting the glass to her lips to take a sip. It took way too much effort to tear my eyes away from her.

What had I been about to do?

‘You were finding her a duvet, Erin,’ Muse reminded me, her own voice floating in my head. Right. Yes I was.

I held up my finger to Casey, blushing profusely, “I’ll be right back.”

With everything she needed, Casey sat on the edge of the small bed and regarded me. I could tell that she was barely keeping herself awake from the way she kept listing to one side. If she’d come from Germany then her body clock would be an hour adrift, too.

“See you tomorrow?” I asked her, hopefully.

Her returned smile sent my pulse racing again. Goddess, what was she doing to me?

“See you tomorrow, Erin,” she replied, drawling out my name.

Unconsciously biting at my lower lip, I gave her a small wave of my hand and backed out of the room. I stood outside the door for several seconds, my head bowed, trying to recover from the sinking feeling I had at the thought of leaving her.

Once I’d found my way back to my bed, I scooped up Sabina and rested her on the other set of pillows, on the side of the bed I didn’t use. She gave me chitters of annoyance, but was asleep again almost instantly.

I made sure that the window was closed before I dropped into bed, trying to ignore the emptiness that was growing in my chest. It was taking all of my willpower to not rush back to our guest room.

My phone buzzed just as I was reaching out for it – there was a message from Casey. I smiled, the void that had found its way inside me filling up. Rolling onto my back, we exchanged messages until I fell asleep with my phone hugged against my breast.

---

- Monday -

I was awoken again in the morning by claws running across my arms and chest.

Ow – she really needs to stop doing that.

I dragged myself out of bed and opened the window, allowing Sabina to run outside to do whatever it is that she does.

Rubbing at my arms, I tried to soothe the irritation from the little rodent’s needle-sharp talons.

My gaze caught my phone lying on my mattress, reminding me of what had happened last night. Casey was still here, and I desperately wanted to talk to her, but I could feel my eyes drooping. I really needed to sleep. The bed was beckoning me again.

My cheeks rose into another blush as I scooped up the device and began re-reading our late night conversation. With a dreamy sigh, I tapped out a message for Casey.

Me: Are you awake?

SeaKo34: Mmmhmmm

SeaKo34: Are you? :P

Bleh. I wanted to be, but my body had other ideas. Still, I expect she was getting pretty bored holed up in the guest room on her own. Perhaps we should get breakfast together and then I can sleep a bit more.

Staggering out of my room and down the corridor, I rapped my knuckles on her door. “Casey?” I asked, my voice quiet. I actually wasn’t sure what the time was, but it felt early. Everyone else was likely still asleep.

There was the sound of movement on the other side, and the door cracked open. I saw her golden eyes peering back at me through the gap and I felt my heart flutter again. Gosh, she’s so beautiful in the morning.

After catching sight of me, she opened the door a little wider.

“Holy shit, Erin,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You look exhausted.”

At mention of how tired I was, my body came to the same conclusion. My legs began to wobble, and then gave way. Concern lined the features of her face, and she reached out to steady me.

Or, more accurately, I fell into her arms. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and every limb felt like it weighed ten times more than normal. Sleep overcame me as Casey was guiding me to her bed.

---

- Casey -

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked Hunter, my heart beginning to ache in worry for the beautiful creature currently sleeping in my bed. I’d taken a seat on the other, unmade one and was watching her rest.

‘Muse has been altering her body,’ Hunter told me, straight up. ‘The changes are tiring and stressful for her.’

My eyebrows creased as I frowned, “Why is Muse doing that?”

‘She says that Erin was a broken person when they met, and has been working to fix her,’ Hunter responded.

Jesus. Broken? What had happened to Erin to make her broken?

Hunter was actually sounding frustrated by the whole situation.

“What is it, Hunter? What’s got your goat?” I asked, leaning forward to gently brush some hair from Erin’s nose.

She smiled in her sleep. Oh, the things this girl does to me.

‘Muse had to fuse herself with Erin to make the alterations,’ they answered, clearly upset.

Huh. We’d never actually spoken much about the nature of how they existed in my body. Hunter certainly didn’t tend to bring the topic up. Sure, I had demanded to know what they wanted with me and how they’d gotten here, but nothing more than that.

‘They are now inseparable,’ they added, in a much quieter tone.

That had me thinking, though I was still watching the steady rise and fall of Erin’s chest as she slept.

“And why does that bother you?” I asked, instead of plowing through a mountain of other questions.

‘You wouldn’t understand,’ Hunter huffed.

Oh, honey. I think I just might.

---

- Erin -

My mouth was dry and felt like cotton balls when I woke up. I groaned, opening my eyes. Everywhere was aching again. I could not wait for this to all be over.

‘You need to take things more carefully, Erin. Sleep is important,’ Muse chided me.

Casey was stretched out on the bed opposite, using her luggage bag as a pillow. She was reading something on her phone, though she glanced aside at me as I groaned.

It was so endearing to see the concern she’d been wearing morph into delight as our eyes met.

“Hey,” she said, immediately shifting to a sitting position on the edge of her bed.

“Hey to you too,” I croaked back at her, smiling like an idiot.

She reached onto the floor and pulled up a cup of something that smelled like it might be tea. She sniffed it, then offered it to me. “Your sister brought you something to eat and drink,” she said, offering the mug out.

It wasn’t until I’d taken my first sip of the lukewarm liquid that I realised what she had said and what it meant.

“You met Rah?” I asked, trying to leverage myself into a sitting position.

She nodded with an adoring smile on her face as she watched me struggle with the mechanics of drinking in bed.

“Your mum, too. She’s nice. I like her,” she added. Her accent made her draw out the vowel so it sounded more like ‘mom’.

I was feeling self-conscious as I realised that Casey had taken up the position of mothering me, when she was supposed to be a guest and visitor. She hadn’t signed up to look after me.

“Sorry for… all of this,” I said, gesturing at myself and the bed. “I didn’t mean to collapse on you.”

The tea was really good – Sarah had added a couple of teaspoons of sugar, making it super sweet. Normally I didn’t enjoy that, but it was working a treat right now.

“Sorry? You’ve got nothing to apologise for,” she answered, turning herself around to sit next to me.

Flutter flutter. Oh Goddess.

She smiled down at me, reaching for my left hand with hers. I offered it out for her to take.

“Consider it a small part of me apologising for just springing us on you.”

Her fingers were lightly caressing the back of my hand and my heart was pounding in my chest. I quickly gulped my tea down, resting the empty mug on the floor again.

I looked up at her, uncertainty and nervousness running through my brain. She was slightly taller than I was, but when we were this close, the height difference between us was made me feel tiny.

We sat that way for a few moments, our eyes locked in a silent dance.

Oh Goddess, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I leaned forward and buried my face against her shoulder. In reply, her arm came across my back, pulling me closer, while she pressed soft kisses into my hair. A few moments later, my own arms were around her frame, and she had completely enclosed me in her embrace.

We stayed that way for a good ten minutes.

Sarah hadn’t left me any clothes today, likely owing to being distracted by our guest. I searched her room for something that worked, in this case just some jeans and a t-shirt. I had realised that Casey might not complain about my being half naked, but I was damned cold.

“Do you always share clothes with your sister?” she asked me, amused.

I just gave her a smile, but alarm bells were ringing in my head.

 

Some post arrived for me just before lunchtime – my validated change of name documents. Normally, I’d have been dancing around like some kind of binkying rabbit, but today was different.

Casey was intrigued by what had me so excited, and I was torn on whether to show her. I was really enjoying the closeness between us. The fear that I might lose it all – lose her – if she were to find out I was trans was almost crippling.

Still, something deep down told me that she was happy with how things were, and wouldn’t let my birth problems affect anything.

I took a deep breath, and offered out the piece of paper to her. I was biting my lower lip nervously as she took it, but her eyes never left my face.

She squinted at me, then held it back out without reading.

“If it means so much to you, then I won’t pry,” she clarified, giving me one of her heart-fluttering smiles. “Just that it makes you so happy is enough.”

I accepted the document back and slipped it into its protective envelope. I’d need to get that to the doctor’s sometime.

We snuggled up together on the couch as we ate lunch. I was leaning against Casey’s shoulder, occasionally snatching glances at her face, only to look away again when she caught me. She’d give me a squeeze, leaning down to nuzzle against my cheek.

Muse had been extremely quiet the entire day, and I can only assume that Casey was finding Hunter to be the same. I felt that there was something going on between them, though the fact that they were aliens meant it could be anything.

Perhaps they were planning world domination.

After half an hour of snuggling and teasing, Casey broke the bubble.

“Has Muse started training you, yet?”

I blinked up at her and shook my head. “She’s mentioned it a few times, but no,” I answered. In fairness to Muse, I’d been very dismissive of her in general when she had talked about it. The topic had been something about wanting me to learn to control the abilities that I had, I think?

“Lucky. Hunter won’t shut up about it to me,” she laughed.

“How do you train?” I asked, curious.

She sat up a bit straighter in her seat on the couch, removed her arm from around my shoulder and turned to face me.

“Well, Hunter and I always found some secluded place where we wouldn’t be disturbed. Then I tried to find-” she broke off, looking for words. “Then I try to find the boundary where we meet inside of me, and work at kind of pulling it out into the real world.”

I squinted at her explanation, not entirely understanding. When I’d lost control it had felt like a slipping, like I had been holding something that had worked its way free.

‘Our connection is different from that which Casey and Hunter possess,’ Muse said.

“Then they’d start to give me instruction,” Casey carried on, interrupting Muse’s flow of words. “Like, getting me to focus it all into the tips of my fingers, and things like that.”

I realised that Casey and I were no longer touching, so Muse was no longer doing whatever she was doing with Hunter.

‘Our link is far closer than theirs. She has to find the energy to focus it, whereas it is already part of you,’ she tried to explain.

“Sorry,” I said, interrupting her. “Muse is telling me that our connection is different than yours is with Hunter?”

There was a pause in the flow of our conversation, but then she nodded, “Right. Because Muse fused herself with you. Okay, that makes sense.”

I tried to gauge whether she knew the reason for why Muse had integrated herself so much with me, but she either did and didn’t care, or she had no idea.

I wasn’t sure which I preferred.

 

We were still discussing the differences between how everything worked, and the significance of Muse and I being so closely bonded, when the front door opened.

Both Casey and I found our attention drawn away from the conversation, and towards the front door.

Sarah still had tears streaming down her face when she came into view, slamming the door behind her angrily.

“Whoa! Rah, what’s wrong?” I asked, peering around Casey to try see my little sister.

Sarah had been on her way to stomp upstairs, but turned back when she heard my voice. She stalked her way to the living room instead.

“She sounds pissed,” Casey commented, with a wary look in my direction.

She was wiping at her eyes as she entered the living room, still dressed in her smart Sixth Form clothes that she had to wear. Casey received a warm, apologetic smile but Sarah’s attention soon focussed on me.

“Ryan. That’s what’s wrong,” she said, flopping down on the other side of the couch from Casey.

“Who’s Ryan?” Casey asked, looking between the two of us.

With a loud sigh, my sister launched into a retelling of what had happened between herself and Paige, with the added complication of Paige’s brother.

“Wow. What a douche,” Casey exclaimed as Sarah was explaining Ryan’s threats.

“Yeah, well, today he was waiting for me outside the school gate. He followed me most of the way home, shouting at me and trying to embarrass me in public.”

I could feel fury rise up in me. Casey glanced at me, and I could tell that she was feeling the same.

“It sounds like our chat is long overdue,” I announced. “I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.”

Casey lifted her eyebrows at my comment, then broke into a grin, “Sounds like fun.”