Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Well, the first time is always special, Kai realized that. But damn... he felt a little annoyed that the news of him getting deployed the next time didn't rouse such a dramatic reaction as the first time...

"Huff... slobbering mess. Then again, when someone is THIS good, women tend to be sloppy," Kai tried to pry the drooling Kushina away who continued to latch onto him with her lips drooling on his shirt as he groaned despite his words. He would pick Kushina trying to form fuinjutsu traps around the mansion over this... anytime.

"Nngh... don't leave..." Kushina snored as Kai deadpanned and snorted before rolling her sideways and now that he was on top of her, it was easy to slip out of her grip without waking her up and...

'Body Replacement Jutsu.'

*Poof*

The slightest poof of smoke wasn't enough to wake her up and he was replaced by the Body Pillow he had near him. Stretching out and feeling completely refreshed, Kai looked at the sleeping Kushina thoughtfully before his grin grew evil and he picked up the bottle of ink and brush on their nightstand.

'Hehe, gotta show some sealing love to Kushina,' He snickered while his hands moved and he tagged her forehead with a— Royal Dumbness. After all... high-level cusses and insults would only come when they age a little higher. Feeling satisfied and his humor tickled, Kai freshened up and equipped himself completely.

His usual chakra metal threaded mesh shirt and a pair of diabolically black underwear instead of tidy whities expected from someone his age. Screw tidy whities. Konoha had a war attire for many to have a chance to blend into the dark, grim environment of Ame so above his mesh shirt, Kai wore a sleeveless black shirt that revealed the sleeves of his mesh shirt but the thing was, being formed by chakra metal, it did not interfere with the two fuin marks hidden on the skin of his shoulders that held two logs at all times for Body Replacement Jutsu. He silently wrapped bandages over his forearms and around half the length of his fingers individually before wearing a similar dark greyish—black trousers before wrapping bandages around his calves and tugging the cloth of the trouser into bandages.

He quickly clipped the light, steel grey flak jacket over his torso and buckled in the standard chokuto sword on his back. He further bandaged his right thigh and strapped a kunai pouch on it. This was done to prevent any accident. At times, fast-paced battles may make the shinobi trip and they may accidentally fall over their own kunai. The roll of bandages would prevent such accidental injuries.

Finally, he wore the steel gauntlets provided for more protection and let Cinnamon slither into it... and then he found Kushina looking at him with a pout. Damn, it took a high level of mental strength to not laugh at the sight of her eyes covered in ink, and the tip of her nose blackened to the likeness of a tanuki as she kept on hugging the pillow and kept her nose silently scrunched.

"Looking good, right?" Kai inquired as he twirled on his heels, making Kushina snort and then roll around to show her back to him, "I'm not talking to you until you return dattebane!"

"Oh, ok," Kai shrugged and hummed a tune while wearing the black toughened sandals before proceeding to walk out of the room as Kushina hissed, "I hate you!" before jumping out of their bed and flickering in front of the door with a fierce expression as her disheveled red locks marred her inked face.

"Well... I am running a bit late, Kushina-chan. So..." Kai's smirk widened as Kushina scoffed and she stepped forward with a casual expression while eyeing him silently.

"What?" Kai inquired as Kushina blinked.

"Uhh..." she looked at Kai whose arms weren't already stretched out, around her, and with his hand on her head— gently petting her to assure her, and fell... stunned. Flustered, she growled, "J-just do it dattebane!" Her cheeks flushing redder than her hair as looked away, "I... have gotten better at Fuinjutsu and would have totally trapped you here but that would be wrong..."

"I doubt that," Kai chuckled and her scowl receded when his hands were around her. Her snort blew against his shoulder and she scoffed, "I'm better than you!"

"It's good to dream but wake up to reality, your Royal Dumbness," Kai snickered.

"Royal what?"

"You know," Pulling back, Kai hummed, "Take a bath. You'll understand what I mean. Besides, our deployment is expected to be short this time around, probably three weeks or so... So, sit back and train. I'll expect you to tutor your guardian in the ways of Fuinjutsu once I return."

"Then... you have to return!" Kushina remarked seriously.

"Of course," Kai walked out of the door with a grin and flickered away, not intending to stay and note her reaction once she realizes the masterwork her face had become.

---

"You're late!" The pup hissed as Kai blinked in surprise. Tsume was two years older than him but damn she was a short and good follower.

"No, I'm not. I'm on time," Kai mused as he was waiting by the entrance of the Senju Compound with Mikoto coolly leaning against the wall with her eyes closed and arms crossed around her manly pecs.

"Yeah, you are! Mikoto's been waiting for half an hour and I was also here fifteen minutes ago!" Tsume snorted while Cinnamon peaked her head out of the left gauntlet and Kuromaru instantly grew alert and wagged its tail but his ears drooped the next second as Cinnamon slipped back into her more guarded home while Kai patted Tsume's head.

Mikoto, however, was stunned by Tsume's words to the point she reacted late and snapped, "I just arrived here!" Her cool facade evaporated at a visible pace and she flickered her raven locks with a scoff, opening her eyes to find a blank Kai still rubbing Tsume's head while watching her as a blank Tsume got her head petted while watching her.

"Nnuuuu!" Mikoto groaned and pointed at Kai, barking, "I don't care anymore! I still don't understand why Sensei won't let me join even now!"

"Oh, I agreed to your application," Tsunade and Nono appeared at the entrance using the Body Flicker Technique as she wore an outfit similar to Kai's except a full-sleeved shirt on her, unlike Kai's sleeveless one.

"It's Yata-san that refused to let his heir participate in the war as his capacity of a patriarch." Tsunade explained evenly as Mikoto revealed a surprised expression, "Besides, even if I agreed to it, you wouldn't have gotten any diplomatic missions and would have been made to guard the main camp in Ame. Kai, on the other hand, has the experience and could even follow me, Orochi, and Jiraiya on missions. So... it's better for you to stay here and train."

Mikoto huffed while Kai gave Tsume a tight hug, "Train well. I can't be having a weak follower... ruins the brand name I'm becoming."

Kai beamed as Tsume grinned likewise that bared her canines and saluted, "You got it! I'll be strong enough to beat my mom and become the matriarch of the clan!"

Then Kai's head whipped in Mikoto's direction and she flinched.

"Come on," Kai smirked cockily, his hands spread out again like last time as the other girls smirked in amusement with Mikoto blushing fiercely.

"You're an ass, Kai-kun!" Mikoto groaned as she hugged Kai while he chuckled, "You're slightly wrong. I have one... and I love many butts, too! And I don't blame Jiraiya-san for that. He just had loads of... research material."

Only Tsunade and Mikoto scowled while Nono's bespectacled gaze filled with mirth and Tsume tilted her head and stretched her neck to try and look at her bony butt.

"Tch," Mikoto scowled, "I'll surely get deployed next time... and my father won't stop me. I'll make sure that Jiraiya-san doesn't bother you!" She pulled back and crossed her arms again while Kai looked at Nono with a hint of expectation this time.

Nono was his bro. She filled the need for his bro code! And the fact she was a bro in a woman's body made it all the more better since he easily got the first genjutsu kiss of his life last time.

Nono stepped up and smiled, "My turn already? Ah, I was reading Jiraiya-san's draft—"

"Wait, he shared it with you, too?" Tsunade and Kai questioned simultaneously as their Sensei then looked at Kai...

'Awkward...' Kai groaned.

"Well, he did. It was fun to read. I will share it with Mikoto and Kushina later, too."

"You will do no such thing!" Tsunade growled.

"Oh, ok," Nono nodded. Anyway, who would stop her once Tsunade leaves the village?

"Anyway... the Gutsy Shinobi leaves for the war while the only woman who loves him the most is devastated. He promises to return victorious but then it is revealed he died only to make the woman realize her regret of not having torn the Gutsy Shinobi's clothes and ride him to death herself. Of course, this was a plot point as the Gutsy Shinobi was, in fact, alive and was just stranded in the war zone for three years and then he returns—"

"What is the point of all this?" An embarrassed Mikoto took words right out of the mouth of an embarrassed Tsunade as Tsume had a curious look while Kai looked a little peeved by the interruption of such filling passages.

"Well..." Nono blinked and smiled, "I'll be 14 in three years so..." she stepped up and whispered with a somewhat coy look, "I think I can use a good luck charm allocated to teenagers, right, if you end up staying in Ame, let's say, for three years."

She was of the same height as Kai and it wasn't hard for her to lean forward.

Kuromaru barked while Tsunade sighed and shook her head. Mikoto and Tsume's eyes were wide just like their slacked jaws hanging down.

---

"Wipe that foolish smirk off your face!" Tsunade ordered.

"I... can't," Kai giggled. Damn, Nono went above and beyond! His foolish smile only stretched wider as he recalled Nono's lips. Who knew you'd feel so flattered with just a kiss when the Gamer Mind isn't there to fuck with your hormones.

Tsunade scoffed and spoke with an annoyed tone, "At least, be a bit more subtle about it. It was just a kiss."

"Yes, yes..." Kai followed her to the entrance of Konoha where Orochimaru and three more shinobi in the same attire waited for them.

"Huff, on time!" Jiraiya flickered in now, too, as the six of them looked at one another. The three other shinobi were no stranger to Kai. They were from the same platoon as before. Inuzuka Risa and her greyhound Ninken, Razo— a civilian chunin, and Utata Kon— another civilian chunin.

But their age and years of training put their chakra reserves easily close to 70000 meanwhile Risa was about 93000.

All of them were generally calm about the situation as Orochimaru spoke up with the usual rasp in his voice, "Hmm, most of our previous platoon's shinobi are long deployed and we were allowed to stay in the village even a month after Ame's borders opening up because of our special training requests. Once we reach the main outpost in Ame, you all will be reporting to Jonin Hatake. Tsunade, Jiraiya, and I have our own missions."

Kai and the remaining three chunins nodded as they soon used the body flicker technique to journey towards Ame and arrive near the drenched, drizzling borders in seven hours with appropriate stops in between.

It was as Orochimaru said. They weren't being deployed as a mobile shinobi team to move in Ame and disrupt Iwa's forces while acting as the hired blade for Hanzo. Right now, a large portion of their forces was settled in Ame as they fortified their side of the border and even began to send spies in various villages to demerit Hanzo on Hiruzen's orders because the man was now targeting Konoha's men.

It was likely that Hanzo was paid a lot by Suna to open the borders so that Konoha stop focusing on them and further would have been paid a fortune by Kumo and Iwa to target Konoha.

Of course, while a few spies did just that— discredit Hanzo, they also sent a variety of lucrative offers to Hanzo so that they could buy his neutrality at the very least.

But Kai had grown... in more ways than one. Last time, he had thought of plundering corpses to find some techniques but predictably, none of them kept such secrets about their bodies. But during the ANBUsh, Kai had managed to understand a method so simple of stea— ehm, learning techniques, especially Taijutsu and grind them to master it that it would make Mikoto's Sharingan embarrassed!... probably.

He wanted missions that placed him in direct conflict with others so that he could exchange pointers... literally!

***

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