Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

'Earth Grudge Fear,' Tsunade rolls her eyes, 'At least name it something simpler so I can try and understand what your Jutsu does!' But who would care for Tsunade's cries of annoyed anguish?!

Now, she just wants to return home, plop her wide ass on her favorite couch, uncork the gourd of Somarasa, and down it neat! Then when she is drunk, she'll happily make some bad decisions and gamble which loses her clan 2-3% of their magnificent wealth which will be written off as business expenses!

Dodging two of the black constructs with sky-blue and dark-blue masks, Tsunade's eyes widen momentarily when she sees Kakuzu from the corner of her eyes forming a seal and both these chakra constructs open their mouths without any prior build-up and shoot a sharp jet of water and a blinding arc of thick lightning!

*Boom*

*Poof*

As lightning-jutsu is the quicker one to reach her, it threatens to char her body. Obviously, molding some lightning nature chakra around her hands can help her block the attack but it would have left her open to the water jutsu so she chose one of the most convenient options again.

As her body is torn open by the jet of water, it explodes into a plume of smoke and reveals a burned and shredded length of log that tumbles down on the ground.

Seeing this, Kakuzu narrows his eyes.

Substitution Jutsu is not easy to pull off whenever when one considers the expense of inscribing a seal on one's body that stores the said length of the log.

Revealing herself to be standing far away on a tree where smoke isn't all too condensed, Tsunade narrows her eyes, too.

'Only a short series of seals was needed for him to use both the style of Jutsus at once?' This is a remarkably threatening manner of attack. She casts a glance at the other two constructs with a green and a red mask.

'Those must be wind and fire release puppets then. What about the earth release puppet?' She looks at Kakuzu, 'He is no puppet. He can use Earth Style but he also showed water and lightning style. Does he still have them after these 'masks' are taken out of his body?'

Not having enough knowledge of the enemy and being observant is always a curse. It leads the Shinobi to make passive decisions in hope of finding more about the opponent but... she isn't like that.

'If I could use Chakra Scalpel in battles... it would be way more amazing but forcing the issue wouldn't help,' Tsunade sighs internally and pushes chakra through the soles of her feet against the branch of the tree and blisters past at a furious speed. Lightning Chakra seeps into her Tanto and crackles into arcs of blue electricity as she cuts the construct of chakra— the fire one, in half!

She doesn't stop!

Instead, she waves her blade to slice Kakuzu's neck when she observes the ghost of a smile on his creepy, stitched face and senses chakra building and molding above her!

Still slicing away Kakuzu's neck alongside the black threads that tried to stop her blade, she leaps forward with tremendous speed and feels another massive jet of water bursting and tearing a hole into the ground.

Tsunade did want to seal Kakuzu's head right away but it seems her objective was clear even to her enemy as the wind puppet open its mouth and let loose a burst of wind similar to [Wind Release: Great Breakthrough] that tears off the trees from the surrounding and even blows away the smoke altogether alongside Tsunade!

In the meantime, greyish, meaty threads wiggle out of Kakuzu's neck and reattach themselves to the base of his head.

'So... that was simply a misleading act!' Tsunade's glare sharpens as she recalls the puppets using Jutsus without any need for hand seals from Kakuzu's side. This means that his earlier action of forming the hand seals was to mislead her and project a sense of false safety. This action also made him the easiest and most convenient target as killing Kakuzu would solve everything but as demonstrated just now...

Kakuzu planned it all.

But even then, Tsunade's experience, sensory skills, and dexterity saved her from getting a hole punctured through her entire torso!

"I hoped for that to work," Kakuzu glances at Tsunade while twisting his neck slightly as if getting used to his body once again, "It would have been the least painful way to go, after all."

'One thing is clear,' Tsunade observes something peculiar, 'The jutsus of the four puppets are more similar to full-blown elemental chakra blasts than anything else. And there is most definitely a connection between Kakuzu and these puppets. But I don't sense chakra threads. This means that this connection is based on some fuinjutsu seals that should connect his mind with the puppet.'

'But cutting his neck didn't work... do those threads have a mind of their own... or do they work based on already etched memory like a program?' Tsunade holds her tanto close once again.

Her gaze glimmers for a second.

'He lied once before, too... he said that his entire body is comprised of threads. And I believed that because the threads do replace muscles and nerves but his chakra coils are still there... so are his organs...'

Licking her dry lips in a predatory manner as a loose but reasonable conjecture forms in her mind, Tsunade jets forward in Kakuzu's direction once again.

This time, her charge is stopped by the lightning and water puppet choosing the vanguard position while the wind and fire puppet sidestepping to distance and already readying their attacks.

Clicking her teeth in frustration, Tsunade drops the charge and stomps back while Kakuzu's voice echoes, "To adopt the same strategy... Is it right to assume you feel confident in dealing with me or are you hoping for some miracle?"

But Tsunade's mind is only on one objective— taking out Kakuzu without revealing too much.

Getting close to him has become a harder task so she forces herself to think more!

But her enemy did not give her the needed time to form calculations as the lightning and fire puppets chase after her with blasts of lightning and fire scorching the destroyed ground of the forest and spreading the flames further away!

And at this point, Tsunade is forced to think of fending against these puppets first.

'Fire, lightning, wind, and water... for someone who mislead me twice and who knows how many times more... this set-up is oddly... 'sincere.' For instance, the one with the fire mask really does use Fire Jutsu and did not catch me off-guard using water jutsu even once...'

'And any smart shinobi simply would not have used the masks. For instance, just keeping the black chakra puppets as such would keep the mystery on what jutsu is going to be used next!' She barely dodges the blast of flames as the end of her blonde ponytail is singed by the heat ever so slightly but she pays it no heed.

'Wait... the fire mask... the fire mask... why is it so low?'

Tsunade frowns and remembers the fire mask being higher on the puppet when she cleaved through it earlier...

'Did Kakuzu try to sweep the mask aside from my attack?' Something lights up in Tsunade's brain. Until now, Kakuzu's 'invincibility' feels quite simple— the result of his Kinjutsu. But this jutsu must have some points that can be exploited!

'The mask... any shinobi worth their salt would not have used the mask as an indicator at all in the first place. The masks were also sewn on his back... why? Why couldn't he have just stored the puppets like the usual puppeteers from Suna? And the rotten... dead chakra... All of it is confusing, no doubt.'

'So,' with a heavy heave as she comes to a stop, Tsunade turns around and attacks the Fire Puppet, 'Let's just start checking all the boxes and see what works and what doesn't!'

To others, this thought process would be intimidating and terrifying but to actual researchers used to failure like Tsunade, this is Monday.

As her sword slices the fire puppet, she observes that the mask shifted once again and the moment she steps past the puppet, Tsunade forms a one-hand seal!

'Earth Release: Spike Trail!'

Dozen of Earthen spikes tear out from behind the puppet and stab through it. One of them... pierces through the mask!

*Boom*

This time Tsunade's reaction came late as the wind blast impacted her close and quickly with her mind focusing more on the result of her attack just a bit more. And as the wind screams shrilly in her ears, she barely comes to her senses at the right time and sacrifices her sword to stop Kakuzu's earth-chakra-clad hand from piercing her heart.

The impact, however, sends her crashing down once again, and she forms a simple seal with breath still knocked out of her lungs.

*Poof*

The shadow clone punches Kakuzu's hand away who obviously followed after Tsunade and by the time the original moves to evade the thick threads sniping from underground, she has two of them piercing through her left thigh.

"Ugh," snarling as her clone is destroyed by now, Tsunade finally regains her bearing.

'That was close,' she stares at Kakuzu before moving back once again and glancing at the fire puppet.

Instead of a massive puppet of rotten chakra, a black puddle can be seen with a destroyed mask floating on its surface.

'Masks are a weakness,' Tsunade licks her lips, 'Now what about his organs?' She glances back at the scowling Kakuzu.

Not paying him any heed, Tsunade once again pushes chakra into her feet despite the 'sting' of having her thighs stabbed. Now that she got to use Mokuton... her body resembles her Grandfather so she would let this heal naturally.

'Such an obvious weakness... it was right at my face,' she zooms past the scowling Kakuzu who admits having trouble keeping up with her speed. 'Maybe that's why I did not consider it before and that also may be why Kakuzu presented himself as superior to me. Truly, the most effective manners of deception are usually the obvious ones.'

Yes, Kakuzu could control his puppets well but now that Tsunade has a rough handle on the situation, she disposed of the remaining three puppets as they wobbled down and turned into puddles of black, rotten water.

And finally, with an expression darker than the four puddles of dark water, Kakuzu finds himself facing more than energetic Tsunade whose creamy skin can be seen from the pierced spots in her trouser— already healed.

"You can still come in quietly," Tsunade muses and offers once more, "But of course, this time, the payment for your contribution won't be more than 1,000,000 ryos i.e. the amount I have on me right now."

The corner of Kakuzu's eyes twitch in response and she can practically feel his anger ascending to a whole different level!

"I. Will. Never. Submit. To. You.!" He punctuates each word with suppressed anger and hatred. The cuts around his body slowly open up as hundreds and thousands of thick grey threads start to emerge from his body and wave around menacingly.

'For every puppet I destroyed, I got more room to think and observe. By the last one, I am practically sure that Kinjutsu relies on the existence of Organs. I still don't understand how the puppets were powered up but catching him alive should prove useful,' Tsunade narrows her eyes. Just because this technique looked disgusting to her did not mean it is entirely useless.

After all, humans under their flesh are objectively disgusting! But here she is, a medic!

"Well, this was thrilling," Tsunade exhales heavily as the circular green mark on her forehead begins to invert and form a loop instead with another wave of her stored chakra rejuvenating her.

'I never thought Kushina's 'awesome' strategy will be my second last resort,' Tsunade smirks as she utilizes her Seal of Adamantine Sage to merely recover regular chakra and not delve into Sage Mode itself.

Forming a rather simple 'plus' seal, she chirps, "Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu~!"

*Poof*

*Poof*

*Poof*

*Poof*

Smoke once again fills the empty region surrounded by a ring of flames that continues to consume the forest as Kakuzu's eyes widen in sheer shock!

After that summoning jutsu, she should not have this much chakra!

She simply shouldn't!

"Just leave him breathing, girls," Tsunade rolls back her shoulders in exhaustion but secretly keeps an eye out remembering someone spying on her when she captured A's son.

Nevertheless... Kakuzu stood no chance.

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Alternate Title: False Superiority; Caught the Grudge Fear; A Forced Employment!; Simple Weaknesses— Sophisticated Shinobi!; Tsunade Just Wants to Make Bad Decisions! *Kai* Hehe boi!; A Wide Ass for a Wide Co... uch...; Thick and Juicy Somarasa for Thicker and Juicier Tsunade!

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A/N: I enjoyed adding some misleading tactics from Kakuzu's side which doesn't seem too out of the place. Like, he has shown that his puppets use Jutsu with and without hand seals so, that was it. The next chapter will end the chain of battles between Orochimaru and Jiraiya. Plus Ultra, go beyon— wait, wrong fanfic!

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