Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

"Damn... why am I stuck with you... I wanted to ask for some details from Tsunade," Jiraiya groans. It is pretty hot down here and slimy but he is used to it as the fleshy walls close down around him. There is a bit of stench, too, but it is to be expected when doing such things.

Orochimaru smirks as her body shifts subtly due to the movement. Her lips once again distract Jiraiya and he finally questions her, "No, seriously. What is the deal with you? If you ARE coming out of one of your many, many closets... you can talk about it, right? It's not like, I, of all people, would judge you."

And this makes Orochimaru the slightest bit annoyed. Oh, she WANTS to get it out in the open but it clashes with her desiring whims of making Jiraiya find out on his own. She's left so many hints. So. Damn. Many.

But she also scrunches her nose.

'When I proposed this idea... I should have considered how clammy and stuffed it would feel...'

Of course, the two are inside a giant toad's mouth that is transformed into one of the much larger catfish that live in the giant lake around Taki.

"Tsunade will be fine on her own and she does have both of our clones," Orochimaru muses, "But it is not a foolproof plan. We decided against using Shadow Clones because it takes one hit to off them so your Earth Clone is limited to Earth Jutsu and my Water Clone is limited to Water Jutsu."

"But you avoided my other question," Jiraiya scoffs and scratches into his wild mane, "Don't get me wrong. I am only persistent because I think writing about some stuff like ladyboy and such can bring diversity to my books... plus, some people would pay more for this kind of thing."

"You're really serious about your books, huh?" Orochimaru smiles. While it is obvious that much of Jiraiya's time is spent on his duty toward the village even when he is traveling, that does not discount his passion for his writing.

"Of course, I am. Oh, and I even talked with Sensei about the kid you've been looking into an orphanage for," Jiraiya adds with a grin, "If you want, you can be a father after this mission."

Orochimaru falls silent as the giant fish continues to swim in the lake idly, observing everything around itself and avoiding more dangerous predators. Of course, this toad from Mount Myoboku is confident in dealing with all the beasts here but stealth is the name of the game. Jiraiya and Orochimaru are accompanying as double reinforcement because getting caught means pushing Taki away from Konoha and toward the other two villages.

The topic of Mitsuki makes Orochimaru feels a little... weird. Sure, she might say it was Danzo's insistence that many other children died in her experiments and even if someone blamed her, it never really bothered her. It was not due to a lack of remorse. Orochimaru knows she feels remorse and regret. Anxiety and panic... it's just that her compass of morality is twisted.

She feels remorse for missed opportunities.

Regret for failed experimentation.

Anxiety that she may not complete her objective and die early on.

Panic because it almost happened.

But... over the years, the compass has started to shift once more. At the very least, Orochimaru believes she is certainly more empathetic... as for her roasting Tsume when Kai was planting Chimera Curse Seal on Kuromaru? It was just for her sadistic pleasure. And she was certainly punished for it soon after when Kai used Hiraishin to slap her ass red.

And... in Orochimaru's mind, there really isn't a place for morals in the Shinobi's world. That is why she thrives and Jiraiya feels stifled.

An arm finds its way coiling around her neck as Jiraiya pulls her close, "Hey! Are you listening? I know this isn't the time but then again, being a father would compromise a lot more stuff than just timing. Anyway, lighten up a bit. Sensei even plans to have 'the' talk with you. Not about sex, of course. You're hardly interested in the good stuff but he said something about giving tips on what not to do when raising a child."

'Like... experimenting on him on birth, giving him a kekkei genkai and sage transformation. Not to mention indoctrinating him as a child soldier...' Orochimaru muses. Before, stuff like this would make her chuckle. Now... it somehow leaves a... a... sort of discomfort.

Or maybe, it's because she is in a toad's mouth with one of her closest teammate's hands brushing close to her bosom unknowingly. This is also something Jiraiya notes, "I didn't know you were wearing padded armor under your outfit. Huh, anyway, once we find your Hero Water, we'll be out on our way. Finding the right time to strike Su... would be a lot more difficult."

But Orochimaru remains in her own musing. Her thoughts and emotions don't trouble her as much as they would an ordinary Shinobi.

'There is no denying that I am changing... as Tsunade stated. I know this so I shouldn't be caught blindsided. The only way forward is to choose as I did before. Back then, I could have either continued my experiments without any moral check. Tsunade wouldn't have done much but I risked getting exposed. Or, I could take a slightly 'slower' route which isn't really that slow when you add Tsunade and Kai to the mix.'

'Back then, I chose the latter and went on to create Chimera Cursed Seal with Kai. Another grand breakthrough that would have taken me years if not decades to fully form. And according to that young Tease, he has a way to progress my true research to the point of completion. A framework, he says...'

She narrows her eyes and returns to the topic. Again, for Orochimaru, it's not about the right time and place. If she feels lacking, she will decide the course of action on the fly.

'Right now... I can either exploit Mitsuki like I have been doing. Make him a weapon. He is still young so it is possible or...'

She exhales slightly, 'I treat him better. Develop a bond of sorts, maybe even as a parent. But to do this would be the same as admitting I have... softened. That the edge of my blade is dulled.'

Truly, she has her reasons to empathize with Mitsuki but that never stopped Orochimaru.

'The efficient route or the moral route. Both have their pros and cons. But... as I am now, with everything I have worked towards and more importantly, HOW I have worked for it after ending my partnership with Danzo... the safest bet is to kill Mitsuki and be done with him. But if I wanted to kill, I would have done so long ago.'

Exhaling again and looking at Jiraiya who was staring back with an incredulous look, Orochimaru smiles, "Well, you have my gratitude."

"Oi..." Jiraiya gulps. His face is slightly pale and a bead of cold sweat rolls down his temple, "Y- you... why do you have... um... b-b-boobs?" Jiraiya's teeth admittedly clatter.

This is the first time... he will be afraid of breasts.

'Huh, how about that? Not transforming into a man but keeping my chest wrapped tightly DID work out,' Orochimaru blinks and smiles, "Indeed I do. Now get off."

And this is also the first time Jiraiya jumped back from a woman as quickly as now!

---

"Ugh... I'm feeling sick," Jiraiya covers his mouth as his chest heaves up in and out as if trying to restrain himself from barfing out.

"I always thought you'd have a tolerance to fishy stench by now. And No, I don't mean your summons."

"Oh, shut up!" Jiraiya continues to put some distance between himself and Orochimaru, "You're a woman?! No... a man? Wait, what should I call you, he or she? Maybe... both?" As he asks this, Jiraiya glances down toward Orochimaru's legs for a brief moment.

"If you're asking about my genitalia, I'm afraid, I don't have one biologically anymore. But I can grow one with a few days of research."

"Oh, Sennin," Jiraiya groans and presses his hands against his mouth harder. After a few minutes, he calms down and eyes her cautiously.

"So... you became a woman because of the poison from Ryuchi Cave, huh... but what is this about you being conceived artificially?"

"Danzo informed me this in hopes of admitting me to his ranks," Her reply makes Jiraiya's eyes wide in shock but Orochimaru has no interest in making her fun complicated by involving Danzo more than necessary and lies calmly, "But that never came to be. I simply realized, being a woman would help me master something I couldn't."

"So... you can?" Jiraiya doesn't question this fact deeply for a reason and when Orochi nods, he presses on, "But what about your birth."

"No need for all that concern," Orochimaru chuckles, "Sensei knows how I was 'made' and it isn't the same process you enjoy. But this was it. Until now, aside from some women around Tsunade, only Kai and you know I am a woman. Truly, I have been dropping more hints than I have dropped heads of my enemies."

Jiraiya furrows his brows, "I... I don't know what to say. I mean, I always thought you were given a bad hand as a guy but your birth story takes the prize. Why didn't Sensei tell you?"

"I don't know," Orochi shrugs, "And I don't care enough to confront him on this either. What would I say? It's just simpler to let the past not affect me."

"That's now how responsibility and accountability work!" Jiraiya retorts with a snort.

"We both know those words are just personal morals for the strong and rules for the weak," Orochimaru smiles, "But," her tone turns uniquely sharp despite turning more feminine. Her pale yellow eyes glow and her vertical pupils dilate, "Do NOT ruin my game. You may tell Sensei about my Sage Mode but... the rest is my game."

"Game... man, you're messed up," Jiraiya purses his lips but after a few moments of silence, he questions, "So... you're a woman... how's that like?"

"You've never transformed yourself or your clone as a woman?" Orochimaru shoots back and Jiraiya doesn't answer this sensibly.

Knowing her teammate, she smiles, "It feels just like that. And they say only I and Tsunade are researchers. Your research is just more... contained, I guess."

He shrugs, "It is what it is. Now, to a more important question..." He looks at her seriously. Severity glints in his gaze, "What are your three sizes?"

As if already prepared, Orochi answers in a single breath, "107-58-90 centimeters."

Jiraiya inhales sharply, "You're kidding."

"Not in the slightest and no, I won't be a father after this mission but a mother, instead."

Jiraiya frowns and crosses his arms. He sinks into deep thought and glances at Orochi before looking at the slimy tongue on which they sit once again. This goes on for a few minutes before he grins with a you-know-what look. While Jiraiya would NEVER sleep with a man... Orochimaru's measurements are... VERY persuasive even if he cannot see them. It's clear that she dressed in a way to contain almost all of it.

"Say, wouldn't it be hard being single—"

"Oh, also, to be a mother, I would need a partner," Orochimaru smiles, and Jiraiya nods wisely while pointing his nose high.

"And even if I know about being a man, it doesn't mean that Mitsuki wouldn't need a male role model."

Jiraiya nods again.

"So, I am kind of satisfied with how things turned out," Orochi smiles knowingly and unleashes a devastating blow, "Not only do I have a better grasp of Sage Mode, but I also have made some advancement in my research, and to top it all of I have identified one dependable partner that fits all my needs."

Fixating her gaze on Jiraiya, she licks her bottom lip with a flick, "You."

"Heh, damn right!" Jiraiya grins.

"Aren't it."

She adds and he deflates.

"Well," sitting straight again, Jiraiya laughs, "Enough messing around. I mean, I won't ever be ready to have a kid so the biggest surprise here still isn't your Senjutsu or your gender. Mitsuki... huh, good luck if you're really planning to go through with it and the same goes for Kai. You'd be the most trouble to his cultured goals."

"So, you can be perceptive about this but not my gender? Don't get me wrong. It's interesting. Even Kai never managed to find it without 'help.'"

Jiraiya shrugs, "The answer is simple. I never thought of becoming a woman. I bet Kai didn't either so we don't imagine others changing their genders easily."

"But Tsunade easily found out," Orochimaru hums.

"And that should tell you about women and their nature more than any of my books ever will," Jiraiya snickers childishly and then takes out a storage scroll to unseal a rough notebook.

Picking up a brush, Jiraiya looks at Orochimaru with divine focus, "Tell me more stuff. I ain't letting go of such writing material!"

"As you wish," Orochimaru smirks and lets out a husky groan, "But you will find it... unsettling. Disturbing. AND arousing. Can you handle that while we are on a mission?"

Jiraiya clicks his tongue, "Just get on with it, lady. Oh, and if it's possible, I'd also like your POV on the concept of the harem. It will be interesting stuff. Damn, never thought I'd get so much writing material from the village itself. Makes other places look pale in comparison."

"It does?" Orochi questions.

"You have a young Hyper talent aiming to score more and more chicks, both, his age and elder. He has gotten the Senju Princess, the Uchiha Princess, and the Uzumaki Princess. And now, there is a gender-bent Sannin who'd like to adopt, and fuck the said hyper-talent. Let's forget Kai for a minute then there is Minato who spent his first night with an Uzumaki broad. There is Nono who creates genjutsu illusion of so much nasty stuff that she has MY admiration."

"Despite popular belief, it's the late Mito who was the last princess of Uzumaki," Orochi corrects with a shrug, "But I suppose I see your point."

***

Alternate Title: Kushina or Mito? Kai: Both. Both is Good; Goddess Among Men— 107-58-90; Jiraiya: No Homo With Homies; Orochi Glow Up; In Parallel Universe, Jiraiya Gets to be the Chick.

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