Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

"This is the last day of your training with Might Duy... good work holding out until now," Kai greets his team. While Kurenai and Shizune cannot help but glance at the glum and listless Konan constantly, Kai treats this day the same as usual and adds, "To manage and cope with the ankle weights so well, I will be treating the three of you to some well-deserved meals and a gift."

The trio only felt doubtful at their mentor's taste in gifts at this point but they are rightly speechless when Kai reaches out to pat Kurenai's and Shizune's heads with both of his hands. This special treat that has been reserved for Shizune for the usual days shows its worth now as the duo falls into a state of satisfaction. Meanwhile, Konan quietly accepts her loss.

She shouldn't have raised her voice yesterday out of anxiousness. But easily seeing through her emotions as she has yet to calm down after Yahiko's departure last night, Kai chuckles, "You should at least remember I only have two hands, right?" He settles both of his hands on Konan's head before ruffling her hair and shaping it into a bird's nest as he grins broadly, "Cheer up, Konan! If you remain this glum, I'd lose heart to snatch your favorite dumplings."

Pouting and swatting Kai's hand away as color returns to her tired and pale expression, Konan berates, "Sensei, you should just stop snatching food and candies altogether."

"Hey, snatching ain't a war crime," Kai crosses his hands with a smirk, "And give your all today. Duy will surely push you beyond your limits. After the final training session with Minato's Team 7, we will discuss your current shortcomings and the next level of studies for medicine. You guys want to catch up to Kakashi and Yahiko, don't you?"

"But... they are just so much better..." Shizune lowers her head. The girl's confidence is still flaky at best and Kai knows it so he just shrugs, "So? All you have to do is get equally better."

The trio rolls their eyes simultaneously.

It's in the same vibe as saying that to achieve world peace, everyone should just drop their weapons.

'Oh... my mental stat just increased, too... nice. I should be able to get another clone once I hit the stat of 580 or at least close to it. With another clone, I can use two clones to grind one skill. Things are looking up for me~!'

Every increase in his Stats, no matter how little, is obviously a piece of good news for him and as expected, his perception Stat follows with an increment of its own soon after.

Once Team 9 and Duy arrive, the team follows after the boisterous middle-aged man while Tsume and Kai find themselves in a sparring of their own as both Tsume and Kuromaru strive to get better.

But before they could go all in, Kai blinks in surprise and signals Tsume to stop. At the same moment, an Anbu shinobi, in fact, a familiar face from the team shows up. Enma Sarutobi, better known as Eagle, nods at the duo and cuts to the chase, "I am sent here by the Hokage to officially inform you that Sakumo Hatake has gone missing in a mission. His status is unknown. This information is privileged and other jonins and chunins will be informed in a few hours through a seated meeting. Do keep this to yourself till then."

Kai nods, "Thanks. You can rest assured that my lips are sealed tighter than the scrolls of Anbu's confidential information."

"Humorous," The Eagle replies blandly and flickers away as Kai looks at Tsume with a frown, "Was it hilarious? It was supposed to be insulting."

And as usual with only Kai in her gaze, Tsume eagerly browns her nose, "Maybe your words are too profound for his senses, Alpha."

"You know," Kai sighs and smiles, "I'm in a good mood. So, I'll accept all the compliments! Come on, let's continue. Quite a bit of our time will be wasted once we get called in for the meeting."

---

"Um... this isn't training..." Kurenai voices her true thoughts but Obito cuts her off, "Who cares?! This is amazing, Duy-san!"

"Of course," Duy thumps his sculpted chest, "When one trains like there's no tomorrow, they must also feed like there's no tomorrow and have appropriate rest! Today, we will test the limits of our hunger! A young heart and mind crave satisfaction. Satisfaction of meat!"

Standing outside a rather famous restaurant, Duy proclaims loudly, "I am willing to spend a good portion of my savings to test these limits! Are you?!"

"I am!" Guy parrots from behind while Obito already has trouble controlling his drool.

"Oh, no..." Konan's eyes widen.

"What?" Shizune looks over at her teammate curiously.

"Remember what we would be doing after this? Training with Team 7 and then..."

"Another treat from Sensei," Kurenai gasps, realizing that Kai has somehow turned one of their favorite activities— eating— into training, too.

"Hahaha, I admit that Young Kai asked me to do this but I'm the one who decided against accepting payment from him. Training with you all for the last three days has been supremely invigorating! My flames of youth have been renewed—"

"Oh, give it a rest!" A pair of chunin emerging from the restaurant scowl at Duy, "For fuck's sake. You should have some shame! Roaming in that spandex while shouting every little embarrassing thing about youth. Aren't you too old for this stuff?!"

It doesn't take a moment for the commotion to attract the surrounding civilians and shinobi enjoying their breaks. Duy is a pretty well-known figure but for not the reasons the genins behind may expect.

Grinning derisively, one of the two Chunins demands, "Oye, Eternal Genin! We are talking to you!"

Guy clenches his fist and argues, "Hey! What did you say?"

"The truth, what else," one of them laughs and looks at Duy, "So? Did we lie, Might Duy? You cannot use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. You fail the simplest of missions at times, too. You've been Genin for how many years now?"

Instead of getting angry, Duy raises his thumb and points at himself, "Why, of course, for more than two youthful decades!"

"Pfft, youthful? Seriously?" Others snicker, too, as the two teams behind Duy frown harder. Needless to say, they have a genuinely good impression of their trainer. Shinobi or not, Duy made their blood pump with each loud cheer and motivated them to train for three days and push themselves physically. He trained their mental discipline and polished it with his encouraging words.

The six genins behind the Eternal Genin could not stand the humiliation Duy is being subjected to.

"Listen you two retards!" Obito shouts and sets his orange goggles to cover his eyes and forms a seal, "There's no way two pathetic chunins are trying to brag in front of us! You're looking at the next Hokage right here!"

The two of them look at each other before bursting out in loud laughter, "Hah, that's it! That was the perfect stupid cringe for the morning. Whatever, see you guys around shouting youth and whatnot. Hokage... pfft!"

The two walk away after having their fun but Obito grits his teeth and is about to attack when a sturdy hand grabs hold of his shoulder. Smiling sincerely, Duy comments, "It's good to have ambition, Young Obito. But if you are to be the next Hokage, don't let your youthful energy get wasted on meaningless anger. Come on, everyone, let's eat!"

Duy leads the group into the restaurant but it's clear from their expressions that they are far from satisfied with how things ended. Especially Guy who imprinted the faces of the two shinobi who insulted his father.

---

While Duy brought the six genins to their final location of training, a few Anbu members began to frequent the various regions of the village to inform the meeting set by the Hokage. Of course, not everyone is called for this.

Aside from the team leaders of the Three-man cell, the representative of various facilities and the clan leaders of the various clans are invited. And if the clan leaders are not present then their proxy is called for the task. The true intention of this meeting is to relay the information to specific individuals who will pass it down to others around them at a convenient time. After all, not everyone can be expected to be free.

But still, more than fifty individuals gather in the room once used for war missions. As usual, Hokage has the seat in the front with three advisors sitting to the side. Instead of appearing himself, Hiashi sends a proxy, and that, too, a simple Chunin in a show of silent dissatisfaction against the village administration toward the recent incident with Mukai Kohinata.

Speaking of Mukai, the distant relative of the Hyuga is present, too, and attracts a bit of attention now that the news of Hizashi trying to alter the condition of the caged seal has spread to other influential jonins and chunins.

Sitting next to Mikoto and close to Kai is Kakashi who is also invited due to special circumstances.

Only after letting his gaze drift over to everyone at least once, Hiruzen clears his throat and comments silently, "We received news a few days ago that one of our most dependable Shinobi, Sakumo Hatake, went missing during a mission. I have called for all of you to inform you that Sakumo is not considered a threat until the investigation is concluded."

"If you encounter Sakumo Hatake, you need to keep your distance and if possible, follow him without raising any suspicion to discover the true reason for his disappearance. But if you find out that Sakumo Hatake has become hostile, I recommend sacrificing your arms instead of legs if need be to return to the village as soon as possible and report the situation."

The meaning behind Hiruzen's words is clear.

Do not engage with Sakumo Hatake.

"For the sake of making it clear what kind of threat I am talking about, you all will soon be shared with the information on Sakumo's less... influential achievements. But his displayed and reported strength will not be released to the public for any reason."

"Before we begin the presentation, I want to make another thing clear. There is no suspicion of traitors within the ranks. That is the first thing investigated so you may rest easy. The suspects are either a hidden threat or most likely, Kumogakure."

Kakashi clenches his fist secretly while Kai muses internally.

Of course, there is a mule. But Shinobi are innately paranoid and Hiruzen cannot risk his military questioning the validity of the administration. The million ryo question, however, is WHO is this mule?

'Maybe... just maybe... it's that white stuff moving around the village at times but... I thought that was an anonymous helper. After all, that creature has left many notes and scrolls right in front of the doorsteps of Hiruzen's manor. Maybe a well-wisher? But if I catch it, I risk exposing my strength. After all... nobody mindlessly shares information. There must be someone behind all this.'

At first, Kai did consider the white stuff moving around a threat. After all, Kai can only sense it after entering Sage Mode, and from the empath skill, he realized that this creature is always... joyful. But after quite some time, Kai also understood that this creature never visited the Senju Compound and also began to bring in pieces of information from unknown sources.

There is, of course, a risk that this creature is also stealing information but again— Why? Or on whose command?

And honestly speaking, this creature is a bit too cautious. For some reason, it steers clear from everyone that lives in the Senju Compound so even if Kai tried to capture it, the creature has a good chance of escape.

Not high, mind you. Only good. But coupled with the factor that this creature is using a technique deceptively similar to his [Sage Art— Earth Travel] but using a chakra nature transformation resembling Mokuton... Kai is of the mind to target the creature once he has ground out a few sage variants of Mokuton.

'In fact, I only felt mokuton chakra from that dude after learning it myself. Can't underestimate any cum-alike man in this world.'

Soon, Hiruzen reveals a few hidden achievements of Sakumo and golly!

That man alone is the cause of the increase in orphans in Suna by 60%! Kai even had to hold back shouting— Karma's a bitch— only because Kakashi is present. And Kai kind of found that the youth is similarly-minded when it comes to the grind so he controlled himself out of respect but...

Instead, he spoke—

"Lord Third, can you get one of the informants to check if Suna has folklore around Sakumo to scare children into sleeping? If yes, I want to read it."

'Tis was a well-worth smack on the back of the head by Mikoto as few others chuckled at this. Even Kakashi.

***

Alternate Title: Karma's a Bitch; Sakumo Wick 1; Babayaga Hatake; Give Sakumo a Pencil!

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A/N: Sakumo's association with John Wick does not end there. They love dogs, too... and both their wives are dead... and they are one-man army...

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