Chapter 4 - Scars
Almost home, Tsuna thought as he walked down the street. His body was starting to ache from his over-use of his inner flame. Though he’d only increased it by the slightest amount to answer the teacher’s challenge, it was still more than he had used since waking if you excluded his fight with Hibari. Reborn noticed sweat forming on Tsuna’s brow from the effort.
“Maybe it’s best if you turn the flame off for now,” Reborn said.
“I…can’t,” Tsuna panted. “Turning it off…would kill me. But…don’t worry…I turned it down…to a ‘drip’ again.” Finally, his house appeared and at the sound of him opening the gate, his mother came rushing out.
“Are you okay, Tsu-kun?” she asked. “I called the hospital and they said you had left hours ago. I was worried.” She helped him inside to the kotatsu set up in the living room.
“Thank you,” he said, as he got settled. He truly was grateful. His body had felt like it was about to completely give out at the gate. She brought him tea and some snack crackers while he explained. “I felt fine when I left, so I decided to walk by the school and pick up my make-up work. But there wasn’t that much, so I stayed there and did it. But don’t worry, the teacher made sure I had a comfortable desk since I was being so studious,” he lied.
“NA-NA?” A familiar voice interrupted from the front door. Before he could identify the owner of the voice, his father came rushing in the room. “Oh, Nana, I see you already found him.”
“D-Dad?!” Tsuna nearly spilled his tea from surprise.
“Our son was being reckless again, dear,” she said to him. Before she could say more, a loud rumble came from Iemitsu’s and Tsuna’s stomachs simultaneously. Tsuna blushed while his mother immediately decided to start preparing a late lunch.
Iemitsu plopped himself down on the other side of the kotatsu from him and crossed his arms. A tense silence piled up between them. Tsuna couldn’t help but feel resentment bubbling inside at the sight of his unreliable father. “Shouldn’t you be in Italy or something?” he asked, unable to stand the silence anymore. The question came out a bit harsher than he intended, but Iemitsu didn’t seem disturbed.
“My cute little son just got out of the hospital. I got special permission to come and see that he was doing well,” he replied, popping a cracker in his mouth and sipping his tea.
Anger built in Tsuna at the lie. “Don’t you mean Vongola the 9th asked you to come check up on his heir?” he said, clutching the stem of his teacup.
Iemitsu slowly put down his tea and looked Tsuna in the eyes. Both of them were taken aback from the look in the other’s eyes. Anger in Tsuna’s and… sadness in his fathers?
The anger in Tsuna died. “Sorry,” he said.
“It’s to be expected, I guess,” his father replied. “I haven’t been around much these past few years. The 9th always has something he needs me to do. And you were right, he did ask me to come check up on you. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t also want to come.”
Tsuna didn’t know how to respond. Somewhere along the lines he had forgotten to look at it from his father’s point of view. “Arrgg!” Iemitsu grumbled, rubbing the side of his head. “This is no good at all,” he smiled and changed the subject. “So, how are you feeling? You looked like you were about to fall over when I first came in.”
Tsuna relaxed. “I ache and I’m tired, ” he answered honestly. “I used the flame a bit too much today and I wasn’t ready for it. It’s looks like I have to completely start my strengthening training over again.”
They continued to chat for several minutes about different training techniques that Tsuna could use, when Iemitsu sighed. “Well, you’re not going to be able to train fully until you get a new pair of gloves. Which reminds me, I have something for you.” He went to the closet and pulled out a small flat box and handed it to Tsuna. “This is all we could find of your old gloves.”
Opening the box, Tsuna looked at the remains of his gloves. Having been destroyed while transformed, the pieces of his black X-gloves stared back at him. They were neatly laid out and Tsuna could see how much was missing. None of the fingers were there, the wrist parts were cracked and burnt, the back part of the right glove was almost completely gone, and the left glove was missing it’s palm. Worst of all, the largest piece of material laying arranged in the box was no bigger than his thumb.
“Honestly,” his father said, interrupting Tsuna’s introspection, “we tried to get Gianichi, the famous weapon’s tuner, to try and fix it. But he said there wasn’t enough to work with. He claimed that if he did piece it back together, it would be much weaker than the original pair and would probably explode under the slightest pressure. Reborn said it was better to not try, then.”
“Is there any way that Leon could make me a new pair?” Tsuna asked quietly, depressed at the sight of his gloves.
“Well, we asked, but Reborn said he’s being stubborn. What that means, I don’t know.” Iemitsu scratched his head and reached for a bottle of sake.
“He’s upset,” Reborn said, suddenly appearing beside the kotatsu with a cup of coffee. Leon was in his normal perch on top of Reborn’s hat, but had his back turned to Tsuna and Iemitsu. It was almost as if he didn’t want to look at them.
“I understand,” Tsuna said bowing his head. Iemitsu and Reborn looked at him in curiosity. “Leon worked so hard to make me these,” came the soft reply. “It’s not like something you can go to the store and buy. He put a lot of thought and effort into it. And I destroyed them without thinking.” Tsuna couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears began to fall unheeded down his face and Leon scurried up to his shoulder. Tsuna turned his head and looked at him. “Can you forgive me, Leon?”
The little lizard sat thinking, then without warning, jumped into the box in Tsuna’s hands and wrapped himself around the shards of his broken gloves. Picking up Leon in his round cocoon-state, Reborn said, “Well, it looks like he’s forgiven you, Baka-Tsuna.”
Tsuna petted the green orb, as more tears fell. “Thank you,” was all he could say.
Dinner that night was huge. Not only was there the enormous amount of food that his mother had made, but Yamamoto showed up bearing an extra-large sushi tray from his father and one by one, everyone else showed up bearing a bowl or plate of something. The last to appear was Kyoko and Haru with cakes they’d bought at their favorite store.
“Somehow, this turned into a party,” Tsuna grumbled to himself, although part of him was insanely happy every time he looked at Kyoko.
“You should be happy,” Reborn replied. “Your family is celebrating your recovery.” Tsuna couldn’t help but smile. It was true. They were all there for him. Two years ago, a scene like this would have only been a happy dream for him.
“Thank you, Reborn,” he found himself saying.
“Hmph,” Reborn smiled.
After everyone had finished eating and began breaking up into smaller groups to chat over juice and tea, Tsuna snuck out to the back porch. He’d been moving under sheer force of will for a while now and his body was starting to falter. He needed a moment to rest, but he didn’t want anyone to worry about him.
The air outside was chilly and a light snow had begun to fall again. Wishing he had thought to bring a jacket out with him, he wrapped his arms tight to his body and sat down. Trying to focus on getting his body to relax, he watched the snowflakes slowly drift downward, one by one. His allowed his mind to wander as his body drooped from fatigue.
He was so tired that he didn’t notice the person behind him until a blanket was wrapped around his shoulders. With a start, he looked up to see the worried face of Kyoko. “Are you okay, Tsuna?”
“Just fine!” He tried to smile, but found he didn’t even have the energy for that. This only made the worry on Kyoko’s face deepen. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t want to worry anyone again.” She wrapped her own blanket tighter to her shoulders and sat down beside him.
“You do that a lot,” Kyoko finally said sadly. “Always trying to take care of others, but forgetting to take care of yourself. You’re incredibly kind, aren’t you Tsuna?”
Tsuna blushed and leaned back against the side of the house as a wave of dizziness hit. Kyoko was actually praising him? “Um…eh…”
Kyoko smiled. “None of us really realized it before, how much you do for us. But, when you were asleep in the hospital, all of us could feel it.” Kyoko looked out at the drifting snowflakes. “While you were gone, Gokudera was always grouchy and never seemed to smile. Yamamoto couldn’t focus on his practice and kept getting struck out. Bianchi didn’t cook hardly at all and Lambo would sometimes just get real quiet and sad. I-we-really missed you a lot, Tsuna,” she said, finally looking over at him.
She blushed when she realized Tsuna had fallen asleep leaning against the house while she was talking. After a few seconds of surprise, she quietly got up to get help. Although, she turned red again when she opened the door and a pile of embarrassed people fell out onto the porch. Gokudera, being on bottom, had been the first to notice Tsuna’s disappearance and had been the first to start eavesdropping. He began fussing for everyone to get off of him when a knuckle to his head from a masked Bianchi silenced him.
“Be quiet, Hayato. You’ll wake him.” That’s when everyone looked over and noticed Tsuna’s sleeping form that sat on the far edge of the porch. Iemitsu stepped past the mass of people that were slowly starting to unravel themselves.
Carefully picking his son up he whispered, “You really have decided to protect everyone, haven’t you? Even to the point of trying not to let anyone worry.” He looked up and smiled at the rest of Tsuna’s family as he cradled the sleeping boy, “I’ll put him to bed. Although, I’m sure he would want you guys to continue the party. He wouldn’t want to wake up and find out he was a party pooper.”
As he carried Tsuna upstairs to his room and tucked him into bed, he could hear the conversation and laughter pick back up from below. In his sleep, Tsuna smiled.
Tsuna woke with a growling stomach to the smell of breakfast. The fatigue from the previous day was gone. He jumped out of bed and got dressed in sweats, ready to get started on the day. When he came down, his father was already at the table eating.
“You’re up early. What’s with the outfit?” He asked, pointing to Tsuna’s sweats.
Reaching for a slice of toast, Tsuna nodded. “I’ve got to get my stamina back up again, so I figured after I eat, I could go for a small jog.” Both his mother and father looked at him as if he was an impostor. Nana yelped as she realized the cup of juice she was pouring was overflowing onto the table and ran to get a towel.
“I have a feeling you’re going to be surprising us a lot,” his father said. Tsuna looked at him cluelessly. “I never thought I’d hear you willingly say you were going to exercise,” he laughed. Tsuna smiled and dug into his omelet, realizing this was the first time in two years he’d eaten breakfast without fearing it was going to be stolen. Reborn walked in, already dressed in his signature black suit and poured himself a cup of coffee. Instead of commenting on the work-out clothes that Tsuna was wearing, he said, “Leon’s still in his cocoon-state, so I arranged a work-out partner for you.”
Tsuna narrowed his eyes in suspicion. However, before he could reply, a knock came from the door. Having finished his breakfast already, Tsuna went to answer it. Unfortunately, standing outside was the person he feared.
“Sawada! Let’s run to the EXTREME!” Ryohei yelled with eyes blazing, fired up by having someone to work-out with.
Tsuna could only sigh and agree.
An hour later, Tsuna returned home exhausted and dripping in sweat. He had ended up running around the city twice before Ryohei had decided they were going to run up the temple stairs six times. After that, Ryohei had wanted to go to the school and run up and down the bleachers until he had to go to class.
“Saved by the bell,” Tsuna thought as he sank into a hot bath, careful to keep the bandages on his left hand dry. The heat calmed his screaming muscles and helped him relax. Apparently he relaxed a bit too much, because the next thing he knew, he woke to a kick in the head and he was sitting in a tub of luke-warm water. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at Reborn.
“Hunh…How long was I out?”
“Only half an hour. Your father sent me up to see if you drowned.” Tsuna pulled the plug out to let the water drain and dried off with a towel Reborn handed him. Up in his room, he pulled on the clothes he had prepared when Reborn said, “You’ll have to take off those bandages sometime, Tsuna.”
Tsuna bowed his head. “I know,” he replied, leaning his back against the door frame. “Honestly, I know that it’s already healed, but I can tell that the skin feels different than my other hand. The doctors said it would have scars, so I guess…” he looked at his tutor. “I guess I’m afraid to see what’s under there.”
“Waiting isn’t going to make them go away,” Reborn replied. “At least go have someone re-bandage it if you can’t look yet. You’ve had the same one on since you left the hospital. Shamal doesn’t treat men, but Ryohei knows how since he has to tape his hands for boxing.”
“Y-You’re right,” Tsuna said. Without another word, he grabbed his jacket and slowly left the room. Having seen the scars on Tsuna’s hand, Reborn decided to leave him alone for once.
Tsuna decided that the best place to wait for Ryohei was the clubhouse for the Boxing Club. He knew that the guy he needed would show up there eventually. When he went in, though, Ryohei was already inside.
“EXTREME!” Ryohei cheered. “You’ve finally decided to join the boxing club, Sawada!”
“No, no!” Tsuna said quickly, raising his hands to fend off Ryohei’s enthusiasm. Before Ryohei could show his disappointment, Tsuna continued, “I actually came to see if you could re-wrap my hand.” He raised his hand, showing how the bandages were loose and tattered.
“I see,” Ryohei said, thumping a fist into his open palm. He motioned for Tsuna to sit on a bench beside the boxing ring as he pulled out a roll of wrapping from his gym bag. Silently, Tsuna looked away as the older boy began pulling off the old bandages. As the last of the wrappings fell to the ground, he heard Ryohei grunt.
“Are you sure you need me to bandage this, Sawada? It looks fine.” In surprise, Tsuna looked down at his hand.
His face turned pale. Ryohei had meant ‘fine’ as in healed. But to Tsuna, it wasn’t ‘fine’ at all.
The back of his hand was criss-crossed with scars. One…two…countless lines ranging from as wide as a finger to as thin as a needle. His memory allowed him to recognize the pattern as being the same as the ice-wrapping he’d created. Even though it had been a mental battle, his mind had affected his body and surroundings in an automatic response. That had been the reason that even his gloves had been destroyed by the source’s heat.
Tsuna’s hand began shaking as he turned his hand over. Looking at his palm, he realized that truly it wasn’t multiple different scar lines, but one continuous line that wrapped around his hand multiple times. Due to partial healing, the line had been broken, though, and the lattice-work on his hand was the result. A small part of him felt a bit of relief when he noticed the scars didn’t reach beyond his knuckles. His fingers were normal and fine.
But the back of his hand and his palm…
Tsuna’s stomach started to rebel and he forced himself to look away. “Sawada?” Ryohei asked.
“Yes, just re-wrap it, please,” he said in a trembling voice.
Tsuna fell into his bed, unconsciously cradling his scarred hand. It was still early in the day, but his mind and body felt completely worn out. Thinking back, he realized he should have expected it. He’d seen the scars Xanxus had received due to the Zero-Point Breakthrough. Yet he had still hoped.
Raising his bandaged hand so he could look at it, he told himself, “So this is the price for power.”
“So you’ve seen,” Reborn said, jumping up onto the bed beside Tsuna. Tsuna nodded wordlessly. “Are you regretting it?” the small hitman asked.
Tsuna thought about it. It was true that the sight of his hand had shaken him deeply. “No,” he answered. “I did it because I felt that it was something I needed to do. Not only for myself, but to prepare myself to protect those around me. For that power, something like a scarred hand and missing three months of my life is a small price.” Reborn couldn’t help but smile a bit out of pride.
“It’s good to see you thinking like a boss finally,” he said seriously. “But with power comes a responsibility not to abuse it. You’ve always been the type to regret your inactions. Now that you have this power, you have to make sure you don’t regret the actions you do take.”
“I understand,” Tsuna said after a large yawn. “Like that time with the teacher. I had to decide which was worse…the possibility of regret from making the teacher mad or the assured regret of not living up to Kyoko’s belief that I wasn’t ‘No-Good’.”
“As long as you know,” Reborn said. Tsuna’s agreement was disjointed as he drifted off to sleep.