Felice hybrid

I had no idea how long I had been staring into the mirror. Minutes? Hours? Days? Hard to tell when your mind is completely focused on the present. When something so abnormal happens, you blank out on everything other than what's right in front of you.

By all means, I should have been panicking. I should have been sweating, nervous about what's gonna happen next. About my dad finding out, about Flare's reaction, about how I'm even going to go to school on Monday. Nobody would recognize me, I turned into a girl.

But I cared about none of it at that moment. I felt euphoric, excited. My heart raced. A tremendous amount of relief washed over me. As if a huge weight got lifted off of my chest, even though physically, weight got added to my chest. Right, I had breasts. But instead of being disturbed by that fact, I relished in it. Nodding to myself, thinking they were neither too small nor too big. Perfectly sized, I thought. Strangely, I felt no sexual desire when looking at them. I was just content to have them. Like they always belonged there.

Moreover, something else had changed. Turning into a girl meant something went missing. Yes. My powers had evicted whatever had been between my legs. Again, I should have been disturbed... and yet, I didn't mind at all. Or rather, it was the opposite. It was like, subconsciously, my mind screamed 'Finally! It's gone!'.

“Hello... me?” Said the gorgeous girl in the mirror's reflection with a soft voice.

My mouth curled up into a smile upon hearing that. Maybe I went insane. Maybe the star messed with my brain after all. But I didn't care, I felt amazing, I felt free. I should have felt unnerved by my situation, but it was the exact opposite.

“Hello~ Hello~”

I kept smiling at my reflection, my tail gracefully swinging left and right, my cat ears perking, my cheeks going red with excitement. It all felt surreal. Maybe I was still in that trance, half asleep, and this was all merely a dream. Maybe I would eventually wake up and find myself back in my old non-feline and very male body.

With that thought in mind, I redirected my eyes to my left hand, still in a daze. I called upon my black roots and made them 'pinch' my hand. The inside of my hand squeezed and got uncomfortable, but never quite crossed into the painful territory. It seemed like it was true about powers being unable to hurt their user. So, I decided to do it manually. I pinched my left palm with my other hand. It hurt, although a whole lot less than I anticipated. I must have also reinforced my skin when I’d been in that trance.

“Hehe,” I giggled.

So dumb of me. Pinching yourself in a dream never worked for anyone anyway. It only worked if you got pinched back in reality. But still, it didn't matter if it was a dream. I felt incredible and I wanted to enjoy it, instead of wondering whether it was real or not.

I looked up from my hand back to my reflection. Black roots swirled around my face. The way they moved around was kinda creepy... but also... a little cool? Maybe I could cover my face in them completely and use that as a mask. Maybe I would become a hero after all? I had some doubts I could, doubts that they would even accept someone like me. But somehow, I felt just a bit more confident than before. I could do it... maybe as an independent?

It motivated me, made me enthusiastic. I wanted to go outside to spread my imaginary wings, to see the world with my new eyes. Both physical and metaphorical new eyes.

I rushed back into my room, completely euphoric.

As my mind raced with excitement, I changed into some old clothes of mine that fit my smaller build. A pair of gray shorts and a black shirt tucked into the shorts. I didn't want to wear any shoes or socks, it didn't fit the image. Though, I had no idea when I started to care about my image... or what kind of image I was even going for.

As for the underwear, I only had boxers and obviously no bra. My nipples could be seen poking out from behind the shirt.

Breasts... I could probably get rid of them using my power, but I didn't want to. Something in the back of my mind refused to kill my two new friends. They were innocent and I liked having them around. But I also felt oddly vulnerable without anything to cover them.

I needed to go shopping. When had been the last time I wanted to go shopping for clothes? Never, basically. It had always felt like a necessity more than anything. Clothes only needed to cover me and protect me from the cold, I didn't care how it looked on me much. But now? My mind flooded with thoughts. Skirts? Dresses? Pantyhose? How would it all look on me? I couldn't stop it. I wanted to try all the clothes.

I found an old sweatshirt to add additional protection to my chest. I didn’t have anything better at the moment.

To round up my new look, I made the roots cover my face in its entirety, only showing my yellow eyes. Honestly, I looked kind of scary. I imagined a thief running away with a stolen purse of something, and then suddenly something lands on top of a car next to him, a pitch-black figure with only glowing yellow eyes of a predator staring him down... and then he screams like a little girl.

I giggled at the thought. Me? A mysterious vigilante who strikes the villains from the shadows? I fancied the idea.

I was ready.

As I was preparing to rush through the door, my eye caught the window. I had a very dumb idea at that moment... but I couldn't help myself. Dream or not, pure excitement poured through my veins.

I pushed aside the curtain and opened the window. The sun has already tapped out and switched with the moon some time ago, it seemed. I really must have spent a long time in that trance, and then staring at the mirror. Not that I regretted any of it.

I stepped on the window rim and dug my claws into the side of the building. Initially, I’d wanted to climb down onto the streets, but my ability completely surpassed my expectations. I swung around the window like a ninja and landed right on top of the building.

“Wow…” I let out a silent sigh of admiration as I stood upright again.

It was the first time I got to see the cityscape at night from that kind of vantage point. The blackness intermingled with the street lamps and lights from buildings. I could see all the way to the northern wall. And although it was dark out already, my vision was perfect. It was as if I had night vision. I recalled that improved vision and hearing was one of the Felice traits.

I took a deep breath as my eyes darted around the city. My school, the northern Neo Warden HQ, the mall. I scanned through the city, seeing it quite differently than ever before.

Then, I looked over to the neighboring building. I wanted to look at the city from other points of view, not just from my own rooftop. And so I broke into a sprint. I closed in on the roof edge and at the last moment, jumped. I flew through the night sky in slow motion like a bird. Nothing could hinder me, I was free.

I landed cleanly on the other roof on all fours. Didn't wait for anything and kept running without standing upright... like a cat. It felt so natural.

Another jump, another roof. This time, I fell about three stories down on top of the lower building, but it didn't harm me. I didn't break any limbs, I barely felt it. I kept going, jumping off, scaling buildings, bouncing between them. I felt like a kid in a playground. I felt alive... more than ever before.

I got lost in the pure euphoria flowing through me, and somehow found myself in the bad part of the northern side. Ruins of buildings littered the scenery. Those still standing looked like they would fall apart if you poked them. Even half the street lamps have long stopped working. It had been like this since that incident two years ago. Nobody wanted to even think about rejuvenating this part of the city.

I wanted to turn around and go back home, but then I noticed it. A woman was running through the broken down streets, holding a briefcase to her chest, looking around as if being chased. Her brown eyes darted around the side streets, waiting for something to jump out at her as her golden curly hair whipped around her face.

It was kind of impressive I could even tell her eye color from this distance when it was so dark out. Felice eyesight was something else.

I watched her curiously for a minute before I found out she wasn't just overly paranoid. As she ran past one of the side streets, someone jumped out of there and caught her out of her sprint. Arms wrapping around her torso like snakes, she screamed. I felt adrenaline rush through me as I prepared to jump in and save the day. But it seemed to be unnecessary. The woman glowed golden for a second before the glow got sucked inside the man assaulting her and he got knocked back.

The woman continued running.

So she was a hybrid. I recognized neither her nor her powers, so she must have been a civilian hybrid.

But it wasn't over yet. More thugs caught up to her, holding onto bats and crowbars, blocking off her escape routes. Four assailants plus the one she knocked out, who was slowly getting up, although he looked like he was hungover or something. The woman turned on her glow again threateningly, as if saying 'if you get close, you will get the same treatment as that guy'. It was intimidating enough to make them stay away, but not enough to make them leave.

That was my cue.

I leaped down from the building, landing a block away from the ongoing assault. I eyed each of my foes and already came up with ways to deal with them. My approach was so silent, they didn't even notice me. It wasn't until I already swiped one guy's legs from under him that the others yelled out in surprise.

“The fuck?! There's someone!” shouted one of the remaining guys.

But I didn't stop, didn't give them time to organize. I jumped sideways and spun around, catching a crowbar-wielding goon with a hand chop to the neck. His figure crumpled and stopped moving.

“What the fuck is that?!” someone shouted in horror.

All eyes were on me and none of them liked what they were seeing. Even the golden-haired woman tightened her embrace around the suitcase.

I dashed out again, punching a thug in his solar plexus, and sidestepping just in time to avoid a swinging baseball bat. With another twirl, my hand chopped the guy's neck and sent him into the dreamland.

Two left. The one whose legs I’d swept right under him and the one the woman had used her power on. Both were still rattled, trying to figure out their surroundings. Perfect. I felt a smile creep into my face. At the same time, the woman jerked back a step and paled for some reason.

I moved. Poor guy, he didn't even see what hit him. Finally coming out of the daze induced by the golden glow, I found myself behind him, chopping his neck, like his other buddies. I found that to be very effective in neutralizing my enemies without harming them too much.

One left. This one looked at me in horror. Mouth open, something seemed to be stuck in his throat. Unlike his friends though, he picked a different solution to the problem.

“A... A... AAAAAH!” He ran trying to scream. His vocal cords weren't cooperating though. Only letting out weak half-screams.

I decided to let him go. After all, my initial goal had been to stop them from assaulting the woman, no point in hunting him down. So, I simply watched him turn the corner, stumble, and almost fall onto his face. The silence of the night returned as his whimpers and choked screams faded.

Now, it was just me, the woman, and a bunch of unconscious thugs. I turned my head to face her. She stared at me, fear evident in her eyes. She shivered, and the complexion of her face couldn't be called healthy.

I’d just saved her, but being all pitch black with yellow predator eyes looking at her from all-four stance must have still been quite intimidating. She didn't move from her spot, tightly holding onto the briefcase in silence, waiting for my next move, presumably.

What was she even doing in this part of the city? She didn't seem to be local. A business suit and a briefcase? She looked like she should be a resident of the central Neoarx, not here. Maybe she got lost? Got caught up in the starstorm? Her car broke down at a bad time? Hard to say.

Maybe a couple of minutes passed as we stared at each other without either of us uttering a word. I was never one for much of a conversation, especially not strangers. And although I was curious about her situation, not enough to actually ask. So, instead of trying to figure out how to engage in a conversation, I picked the easier option. I turned away from her and dashed. I heard her make a sound, something like an ‘Uh!’, as I turned the corner but decided to pay it no mind.

Jump, bounce, dash, land. I was on the rooftops again. Deciding I had enough of sightseeing, I headed back home.

As I landed on the building adjacent to my place, I heard a muted explosion in the distance. My head whipped around in the direction it came from but I didn't spot anything. It must have been across the city, too far for me to see anything. But at the same time, it had been loud enough for me to hear all the way here.

Part of me wanted to sprint in that direction and find out what had happened. The more rational part of me decided it was too far away and that the heroes were probably on their way to deal with whatever situation arose over there.

It was the day of the starstorm, after all. As much as it sucked to admit, it was inevitable there would still be incidents happening.

So, I ignored it, leaped towards the flat complex I lived in, climbed up to the third floor, and entered back into my room through the open window.

The window clicked and curtains blocked the view of the outside once again. I stood there in the middle of my room in silence for a few seconds, staring at the curtains. Then, I let out a heavy sigh as my posture slumped. As if someone just turned off the facet to the energy tank I had been feeding off of.

I stared into the empty space of my room in shock. What the heck had just happened? I’d left my room through the window and had had a late-night adventure? Jumped across buildings like I was mad? And even saved a woman from a bunch of thugs? What had I been thinking? Where had that spontaneity, that pure energy, come from?

Somehow, it’d both felt very unlike me, and very much like me. It was as if someone pulled out all stops in my brain and let me live in the moment instead of worrying about every little thing like I usually did. It had been me, unleashed.

I shook my head and yawned. I was tired. I decided to think about all of this tomorrow. For now, I needed to sleep.

But first, shower.

I idly made my way to the bathroom. When I entered it and closed the door behind me, I caught a glimpse of the mirror... and froze once again.

The cat ears were gone, as was the tail. I had reverted to my human form.

It made sense now. I knew how being in a hybrid form tended to mess with one's mind. That inexplicable surge of energy? The feeling of being unchained? That must have been it. My hybrid form had made me stop hesitating and overthinking the consequences. I’d wanted to go outside through the window... and so I had. I’d wanted to jump around on the buildings and then save a passing woman from some thugs... and so I had. None of my usual apprehension stopped me from doing what I wanted to. Consequences be damned.

That was one question answered. However, there was still something else. Although I had my human ears back, I wasn't back to normal yet. No, not by a long shot. Sure, while the feline features might have been gone, the feminine ones were not. Breasts? Smooth skin? Round face? All of that remained. My sex change was not part of my hybrid form. It was a permanent adjustment made by my power.

I slowly turned and made two careful steps towards the mirror. It was odd. Sure, I was surprised, as anyone would be, and yes, I was freaking out. But not in a bad way. Not in the ‘oh my god it's the end of the world’ way, but more like in the ‘something big just happened’ way. The girl in the mirror wore a subtle smile, even as I realized two particular points on my chest hurt. Well, I heard that exercising without a bra could be painful. And what I’d done undoubtedly qualified as exercise.

No, that wasn't important at the moment. Before, everything could have been blamed on my hybrid form. I hadn’t minded being a girl back then because my mind had been flooded with pure excitement and energy. That had been the reasoning. But no. Now that I’d turned back to a human, I still didn't mind this. Being a girl was fine. Or rather, I would very much mind if I had to turn back into a guy. I hated the thought, I didn't want to be a guy ever again. Looking at my wn reflection made me happy instead of inducing self-hatred like it always used to. I was content with the way I was now. I never even thought that was possible. This odd feeling of rightness. Something I didn't even know I was missing all this time. Was this how everyone else felt on daily basis? Impossible.

I shook my head to untangle my jumbled up thoughts. Once again, I locked eyes with my reflection.

“So, I'm a girl,” My twin in the mirror proclaimed.

I couldn't deny it. Everything suddenly felt right. Having a girl's body fit me. While a guy's body made me miserable just by existing. I had been a girl all along inside.

I’d read about this. Browsed countless articles, blogs, wiki pages, and more. All talking about what it was like to be transgender. I always thought ‘man, that must really suck for them’. But all this time, I was transgender myself?

“Hmm...”

Sure, I couldn't deny it at this point, it made too much sense and explained so much. But a part of me still couldn't quite accept it. Was I allowed to be a girl? To just be happy to be? How does one even accept something like this? In the past, whenever my mind had wandered and I’d imagined myself being a girl, another part of me had immediately squashed that idea, labeled it ridiculous and pointless. And I was used to that denial.

But now I felt great. And that's what was so strange. I wasn't used to it. It was an alien feeling. I automatically wanted to go back to my comfort zone, while at the same time, didn't want to go back there because it made me feel like crap.

I turned my back to the mirror, leaned on the sink, and stared at the ceiling, mouth slightly open. I took a deep breath.

I felt like I broke out of some cycle. Like, up until now, I had been merely acting in a movie directed by someone else, doing what I had to do, as commanded by the director. Now though? Now I felt like I could be me, instead of a robot programmed by someone else.

Should I though? Could I? It was scary… unknown territory. How was I supposed to allow myself to do what I wanted to? Being trapped was painful, but easy.

I sighed again and continued trying to bore a hole through the ceiling with a frown. Trying to take it all in, thinking about how to deal with it... and then it hit me.

Hybrid form.

I widened my eyes at the realization. Just a little while ago, I jumped around the city without a care in the world. My hybrid form made all of this apprehension vanish. Could I use it? Could I learn from it? Slowly get used to that mindset and make the anxiety go away even when I'm not transformed? Would that even work?

I stood there for a few seconds, unmoving, eyes wide open, thinking about the implications... before my mouth curled into a smile and I broke into a fit of giggles. Those turned into laughter. Seriously? Did I seriously plan on learning how to accept myself from my alter ego? Could it get any weirder?

A hint of confidence finally sparked within me. Partially because now, I had someone who would help me through it, even though that someone was myself. And partially, because technically, I had already overcome this mental barrier. I had already reached a state where I’d accepted things as they were without thinking too deeply about them. I’d just sort of cheated to do it.

My laughter smoothly transitioned into a deep yawn.

Right... I was about to shower and go to sleep. Still very tired.

I decided to finally go and do just that. Although as I began stripping down, I decided to make a quick stop at the toilet. But then I stopped. Sure, it was one of the most natural activities known to mankind, and yet, something in the back of my mind told me that I shouldn't do it. My equipment down there was different now. Was I allowed to even look at my own body? Would that be considered creepy? The doubts and anxiety kept creeping back in, but I violently shook my head and sat down with determination.

It sure felt different, but somehow totally normal. Honestly, I felt like an idiot for observing what it feels like to pee. But then again, who could blame me? All of this was very new to me.

After I was done being enlightened by the most mundane task possible, I readied myself for a shower. Naturally, I would have to do that in a female body as well. The worries showed their ugly face once again, but just like before, I shoved them aside and got on with the shower.

Earlier, I’d thought this might have been a dream, but that couldn't be. Everything felt way too real. And I refused to believe I had an epiphany like this inside a dream instead of in real life. No, this was all real, I was a hybrid and I was a girl, both in mind and body now. And I wasn't going back... no matter what.

How are people around me going to react though? Flare? I bet she will be happy. Heck, she even often called me a kitten. She will be jumping for joy. Actually, I could blame me being a Felice on her, couldn't I? Since she’d always called me a kitten, I went ahead and really became one... heh.

What about dad? He probably wouldn't accept it. At least not right away. He had always told me to be a proper man whenever he’d caught me, well, not being manly enough for his tastes, I guess. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he would welcome his new daughter with open arms. And if not, I was sure he would come around, given enough time.

My classmates? Well, I barely talked to anyone other than Flare, and maybe Elsie and Michelle. Sure, I'd have to come up with an explanation for my sudden sex change without revealing I have powers, but I couldn't care less about what they thought about it.

It was funny, I cared more about hiding the fact that I was a hybrid than hiding that I was transgender. From what I've read, transgender people often dreaded coming out to anyone at all.

I stepped out of the shower, feeling like a new man... er... woman. Seriously, my entire worldview had changed in a single day, all because of the starstorm. Maybe I should have been grateful? Maybe, but I still couldn't forget what had happened nine months ago. I couldn't turn my opinion of starstorms a hundred and eighty degrees on a whim. They had still killed my mom and put a rift between me and dad, after all. But with this? I figured starstorms could have positive effects as well, they weren't necessarily always bad.

I put on my oversized pajamas and headed back to my room. And then I tripped over the leg sleeves on my way there. Fortunately for me, the instincts and reaction time of Felice hybrids were beyond ridiculous. If Flare saw me, she would have laughed her butt off. Clumsy enough to trip, but alert and agile enough to turn the fall into a gymnastics move, landing perfectly on my two feet again. I had to laugh at myself.

Anyway, the whole tripping event, which took less than a few seconds in total, made me remember Flare, our conversation, and the fact that the battery in my phone was still dead.

"Ah, man," said the cute voice as I pulled the phone out of my bag.

I wondered whether she tried to call me after I left school. Maybe, but no way to tell now.

I plugged the phone into a wall with a charger and snuggled under my bedsheets. I decided to see if she called, tomorrow. After all, I felt like I had all the time in the world now without the constant feeling of being constrained.

I fell asleep with the widest, most genuine smile I have had in years.