Fate’s Pawn

The hardest lessons are taught through failure.

- Grandmaster Baromah

Raziel was in a hospital room, though not the one in Peritura. But he recognized it all the same. He knew it’s four sterile walls, the uncomfortable furniture, and the small ugly paintings that someone had probably thought would look soothing. It was the room they’d kept him in after his parents disappeared.

He lay in the bed and he didn’t want to move. He wanted to close his eyes and fall into unending dreamless slumber. And there was nothing to stop him.

His eyes slid shut and it was blissful. For a few seconds. And then he felt the presence of someone in the room with him.

It wasn’t a magical sense. The room just didn’t feel empty anymore. And Raziel was pretty sure he knew who would be sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside his bed if he opened his eyes. But he also thought that, if he wanted to, he could just keep his eyes shut and drift off into peaceful sleep. He hated this room but the bed was comfortable enough. And if he let sleep take him he wouldn’t have to think about Kusa.

Raziel’s eyes slid open. That last thought hurt too much for him to sleep. And sure enough, Blank sat in the chair beside his bed.

The boy sat in the chair in his perfect white robes and gently swinging legs that were not quite long enough to touch the floor. But Raziel didn’t look at his face. His silvery eyes were too heavy to bear. If he looked Blank in the eyes just then, Raziel felt that he’d crumple like an old piece of paper. So he kept his eyes on the stupid ugly paintings instead.

“Hello Blank,” he said, his own voice sounding disgustingly weary.

“Hello Raziel.”

“Why are we here?”

“Because this situation-”

Raziel cut him off.

“Is not equal. I’m not up for banter and cryptic whatevers. Can we just skip all that?”

“I have to obey certain rules,” Blank said with perfect patience that grated on Raziel.

“Yeah, well what rules do I have to obey? What do I have to do?” Raziel almost snarled, surprising himself with his anger.

“You can go to sleep or you can leave.”

“That seems… oddly straightforward.”

“You did ask me to be.”

Raziel was silent then. His eyes slide from the paintings down to his hands. They were covered in bandages. They were clean and wrapped tight. But he could feel where the shards of Kusa’s gem had cut into his hand. There might even have been slivers still stuck in his palm. Pain he hadn’t noticed until then swept over his body and he wanted to curl in on himself. But it wasn’t really physical pain. He knew that.

A question burned in his chest. One that he needed to ask. One that he was terrified to ask.

Suddenly the door seemed very close. He could just get up and go. He could leave and maybe Blank would never come back. It would be so easy.

Slowly he pushed away the sheet and pushed his feet out over the edge of the bed. The ground felt cold to his bare feet. The sound of his feet on the floor seemed far too loud. And the doorknob was terribly heavy. Too heavy. It slipped from his fingers and Raziel leaned wearily against the door.

“Blank?” he asked, half hoping there wouldn’t be an answer.

“Yes?”

“Did Kusa have to die?” The words fell from his lips like stones.

“Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you, you’ll carry that answer for the rest of your life.”

Raziel’s hands curled into fists. He was sure he could feel the shards shifting, digging in. He turned to Blank and nodded. He had to know. Blank watched him, his eyes heavier than ever. It seemed he didn’t want to answer any more than Raziel wanted to hear. But they were both compelled.

“No.”

The word hit Raziel like a blow. His mind flung itself in a thousand different directions, poured over every decision he’d made at the fort, trying to find something, anything, he could have done differently. And there was nothing. Nothing he could have done differently at the fort.

He looked up to tell Blank that but as he opened his mouth he knew the moment. He knew when he’d killed Kusa. It was the moment he’d attacked Lucas in the hospital. If he hadn’t hurt Lucas, he wouldn’t have been caught by Alban. If he hadn’t been caught by Alban his friends wouldn’t have had to break him out. And then everything would have been different. If he hadn’t made that one mistake, they could have saved Kusa.

But he had made that mistake. And now Kusa was dead because of him, because of his choices. The little spirit had never hurt anyone, had taken care of his father’s book out of the goodness of its heart.

The world wavered and Raziel closed his eyes. Tears slid down his cheeks. He wanted to rip open the door and run. But he sank down put his back to the door and covered his face with his hands. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to smash the room to pieces.

He cried.

Blank stood and came over to him. He sat next to Raziel and his presence was not embarrassing like Raziel would have expected. Blank didn’t say anything, didn’t try to touch him. And yet there was something comforting about knowing he was there.

“What do I do?” Raziel asked eventually. Blank took a long time answering.

“I can’t tell you that.”

The answer sent a lance of heated anger through Raziel. He turned to say, to yell something at Blank but the expression on his face stilled him. Blank’s face was deep in thought, his mouth open slightly, as though words were on the tip of his tongue.

“Do you think Kusa would want you to go to sleep?” the boy said at last.

Raziel looked at the bed. It looked comfortable, quiet. Sleep seemed so much easier. Just drifting away. No burdens.

But Raziel knew the answer to Blank’s question. Raziel remembered the way it had stayed on its side of the closing portal. Stayed behind to try, desperately, to stop Mask and the shadow man from escaping. They were both still out there. Raziel felt sure of it. If he stayed here, Kusa would have died for him and it would mean nothing.

Knowing that Kusa’s death was avoidable was a heavy burden. But making it meaningless would be unbearable. So Raziel stood and Blank rose with him. He turned to the door and put his hand on the knob. He turned to Blank and they met eyes. Blank’s strange silvery eyes were as heavy as ever. But carrying Kusa’s death, Raziel bore the weight more easily.

He opened the door and stepped through.

Raziel opened his eyes and the light stabbed him. He let out a groan as that new pain joined the dozens of bruised aches lancing through his body. It took him a few moments to sort out where he was. He lay in a bed that was blessedly soft though he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. The horrible bright light was just the first rays of the sun peeking through the window. He closed his eyes and found that of all his various hurts, only one could probably be quickly and easily remedied.

Before he could ask for water, he found that a steady hand was holding a glass in front of him. A moment later it touched his lips, and Raziel tasted the best water he’d ever had in his life. He wanted to grab the glass and drain the whole thing in a single gulp, but his arms refused to do more than twitch. He had to settle for the cruel slow sips that the hand holding the glass allowed him.

Eventually he felt satisfied, and the glass disappeared. Raziel closed his eyes again, resting himself for a few moments before undertaking the monumental effort of turning his head.

A man in a black sky captain’s uniform sat in the chair beside him. He had the coldest eyes Raziel had ever seen. But there was something familiar in his sharp features. But before he could decide who he resembled, Raziel noticed what was in the man’s hand.

The captain held Azariel’s book in one hand and the still half full glass in the other. He was reading the book, but when Raziel turned, he offered Raziel the glass again. Raziel tried to shake his head and failed, but the captain seemed to get the point.

Past the captain sitting in a pair of comfortable looking chairs were Duriel and Hoeru. Both of them were sound asleep, Duriel leaned far back in his chair while Hoeru had curled up into a tight ball in his. One of Duriel’s sleeves was missing; his arm was covered in white bandages. The captain glanced at them before returning his grey gaze back to Raziel.

“Neither of them has left your side for more than a moment the last few days. They’ll be happy to know you’ve woken up, but let’s let them sleep for a bit longer. They need the rest,” he said quietly.

“Others?” Raziel managed to whisper with considerable difficulty.

“Miles and Roland are in the beds beside you. They were also in bad shape, but I’m told that both of them will be okay. Keira is in the room next to us. She wasn’t in any danger from her injuries. You were the worst shape of all. Dominic and Miyo couldn’t use much magic on you without risking killing you. Without Deitrich to help, it’s been very touch and go for the last few days.”

Raziel nodded. As the captain had talked, he felt a little of his strength returning. He met the captain’s eyes.

“Don’t touch my father’s book.”

The captain cocked his head slightly at that. No emotion showed on his face. Raziel held the man’s gaze. He stared the captain straight in the eye, daring the man to ignore him. The captain didn’t blink, but he gave a little snort that might have been a laugh and set the book on the bedside table.

The cover was stained. Kusa’s green blood darkened the leather in an ugly splotch. The captain followed Raziel’s gaze. When he spoke there was no pity in his eyes or his voice.

“We found you underneath the spirit. Do you know what the mask it wore means?”

Raziel didn’t answer, his eyes still on the book. His every nerve burned and throbbed but he welcomed the pain. The captain continued.

“My name is Basil Tydan. I’m a hunter. I kill corrupted spirits. Kusa was already dead before you fought it.”

So it was the same as the wolf Raziel and Hoeru had fought. And yet the pain in Raziel’s heart didn’t ebb. It swelled.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know how hard it was to do what you did. And because I want to make you an offer.”

Raziel let his confused look be his answer.

“I brought my sister here for her protection. But circumstances have changed. She won’t be so easily concealed again. I need to keep a closer eye on her. But she’s proven… strong willed, we’ll say. Not a bad thing in and of itself. In fact, I’m happy to see that in her. But she’s going to put herself in danger because of it, and I can’t keep an eye on her every hour of the day. She’s going to need friends. People she can trust. Someone to watch her back. I’d like you to come with us.”

“Come with you?”

Basil nodded.

“Seriously?”

A touch of annoyance crept into Basil’s eyes at being asked the same question twice. “You’ve clearly got a talent for combat. I can help you hone that. I can give you a good, productive way to use it. If that’s what you want. It will be dangerous, of course. There will be times when your life is on the line and, worse, times when other people’s lives are in your hands.”

Raziel’s eyes flicked towards his grandfather. Basil noticed.

“Duriel and I have discussed this at considerable length over the last few days. He’ll abide by your choice. He was considering recommending you for knight training once he heard your friends’ stories. That’s another option you have. With his connections, he can certainly get you into the program. Or you can leave all this behind you and go do something else for a while.”

Raziel was quiet. He looked out the window and saw bright, beautiful sunlight falling on a city in ruins. There was smoke still rising from parts of the city. He didn’t know what Alban had done, but it must have been bad. It rarely took Raziel long to come to a decision on anything, even if he didn’t like his own choice. This was no different. There was only one thing holding him back.

“I have a condition,” he said at length.

Basil raised one eyebrow in response. “And what is that?” he asked seriously.

“I want you to make the same offer to Hoeru, Roland, and Miles.”

Basil watched Raziel in silence. Raziel didn’t shrink away.

“Why?” Basil asked. Raziel started to answer but coughed over his dry tongue. He glanced at the water. Basil gave him some and Raziel closed his eyes for a second, gathering himself. Then he met Basil’s gaze again.

“Because if you want me, you should want them too. I’m not as strong as Roland or as smart as Miles. And if you want someone who will be loyal to his friends, you’ll never find someone better than Hoeru. If you’re making this offer to me, the smart thing to do is to offer it to them, too.”

Basil didn’t react for a moment, waiting to see if Raziel had more to say. When Raziel didn’t continue, he let out another small snort. His lips twitched briefly into a thin, razor’s smile.

“I thought the same thing. Hoeru’s coming. He seemed convinced you would and he’s set on following you. Roland’s agreed as well. Miles is thinking it over, but I think he’ll be on board. There’ll be other familiar faces as well.” Basil stood, paused, and glanced at Azariel’s book on the bedside counter. “We should talk about that book. Your father’s research and my business have some overlap.”

With that, Basil stood and walked away. Raziel listened to his footsteps disappear and looked out the window at the broken remains of his home. Sleep crept up on him as he considered the dangerous course he had set himself on. Kusa had died to give him this chance. He wasn’t going to waste it.