C14
Anxiety is flooding my nerves at the moment; Hatsumi was holding my hand as we are about to enter the Dining room. We’d already dropped my stuff off in our room- Oh, did I mention I didn’t have a room? Yeah, apparently we’re sharing her room…and a bed…goodbye privacy.
“Are you ready, Kiyomi? You’re sweating right now; you have nothing to worry about, you know?”
Hatsumi was trying to encourage me.
I know it’s stupid, but the reason I’m so nervous is that I didn't have to break the ice with the others. Hatsumi was there when I woke, Lorn and Maria were pretty much authority figures to me, and Callum took the first step for me. But this was my first time meeting the rest of the family. Even though I had nothing to worry about, it felt like it was on me to make a good impression.
“I think I’m ready.”
I tried smiling back at her without making it seem forced.
“Well, I’m here, so if you need to lean on me, just squeeze my hand.”
She flashed me a gentle smile in turn.
She knows how nervous I am. Thank you, Hatsumi.
“So, let’s say hi to the others.”
With that, Hatsumi pushed the wooden door open and guided me along next to her. I was too caught up in the excitement when the realization of how small I was crept back into the forefront of my mind. My head was just above the door handle, and I often found myself plastering to Hatsumi’s side. This would be the fourth time today I had partially hid behind her. I was vulnerable, and it made it all that much worse. What came into sight was slightly more calming than I expected. There at a round dining table was Callum, bickering with a female elf that clearly wasn’t Lorn and an older man that looked quite similar to him.
“Damnit, Callum, for the last time! You aren’t bringing women into this house anymore!”
The older man across from Callum chastised.
“Oh, come on, no one can hear anything outside the rooms anyway.”
Callum sputtered a defense for himself with difficulty, his argument seeming to only dig himself deeper with each denial and deflection.
“Callum, no, you’ll be a bad influ- Oh hey Hatsumi!”
The elf was the last to get a word in before they had all noticed our arrival. Probably hoping to skip over the subject in the presence of a child.
“You two arrived just in time; Maria finished fixing your plates!”
Thankfully they were making this easy, and the elf was already kicking up the conversation before I had been forced to introduce myself to yet more strangers.
“Oh, and it seems someone is in good health~.”
The elf drew her attention to me, giving a rather happy, toothy smile.
“Kiyomi is very much awake, and she even kept her energy up after meeting Claire.”
Hatsumi said, ruffling my hair as she spoke.
“Oooooo, I can see that. She’s got quite a cute outfit. She almost looks like a little adventurer.”
Why do I feel like this elf is teasing me?
I found myself puffing up my cheeks from embarrassment.
“Awwww, she looks upset, Chessa stop bullying her!”
The older male in the room made himself heard once more.
“Think of what she’s saying as a compliment, for real, kid. She’s sweeter than the poking makes her sound.”
Hmm? This guy really does look similar to Callum the more I look at him. He’s just older from what it looks.
"From the look you’re giving, yes, that's my problem-child of a brother-"
He then gestured to the elf that had teased me a moment earlier.
"-and the elf poking at you is Chessa.”
They really had just skipped formalities.
They’d resumed bickering again almost as soon as the greeting was given. Hatsumi proceeded to make an exaggerated cough, grabbing their attention and bringing silence back to the room.
“So it may not have been brought to your attention as I asked it to be left to me; Kiyomi will be staying here.”
Hatsumi paused to make sure what she had said was sinking in.
“Indefinitely.”
Callum was already informed, so he simply nodded. The other two, however, both seemed surprised.
“Did Lorn take her in?”
The elf, Chessa, asked while tilting her head subtly.
Hatsumi shook her head in response.
“No, we both decided I’d take care of her. I am her guardian.”
Everyone was silent, the feeling that those just informed were attempting to absorb the information just fed to them. Until finally, the older male in the room broke the silence.
“Hatsumi, are you sure?”
He asked, raising his brows.
Hatsumi only sighed before responding.
“Any other option simply wouldn’t do, Stanis.”
The older man whom Hatsumi addressed as Stanis, nodded, then looked down to his plate.
Why am I getting the feeling no one thought of Hatsumi as a competent guardian? What was all this looking away in surprise or shock for?
Chessa, on the other hand, didn’t say anything. She looked to me for a short moment, a glimpse of spite in her eyes, before looking back to her plate after what felt like a hot stare was given to her from Hatsumi. After all was said and done, Hatsumi crouched next to me and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t give you a warmer welcome. But as adventurers, we don’t usually have the luxury of… family. So, please understand it will take a little time for them to accept you. Why don’t we take our plates to our bedroom, hm?”
While I didn’t feel any resentment or sadness at the sudden rough welcome compared to Lorn or Callum, or even Claire. It still felt like Hatsumi was trying to comfort me for some reason; it could have been I was too detached from the level of emotion I should technically be showing. She had her tail wrapped around me as well.
What kind of situation am I being thrown into damnit? Am I really that out of place?
I ended up nodding slowly. While I felt that this situation could be salvaged, strangely, I was strangled by a strong sense of anxiety. Like my throat was welling up as I was holding back sobs.
“Let us go ahead and leave; we've done all we needed to today.”
She ended up ruffling my hair once more before standing and unraveling her tail from around us.
When did she even encompass us with that thing?!
“Maria, could you bring us our plates?”
Hatsumi asked the maid, who had been settled in a corner.
“I will have them there momentarily, Mistress~.”
In response to Maria, Hatsumi smiled and pulled me along once more.
Hatsumi had been silently eating while sitting next to Kiyomi on their bed. Hatsumi was expecting many things, but such a sour reaction from the other two team members was not one of them. Chessa even seemed offended by the decision. She looked at Kiyomi as if the girl came into the home and insulted them.
Stanis at least had the mind about him to keep it to himself, but now Kiyomi definitely feels out of place. She was already timid when we arrived, and she hasn’t said a word since we left the dining room.
Hatsumi thought to herself as she looked out the corner of her eyes to Kiyomi. The demon child had been silently eating her food rather slowly but was nearly through the meal. She didn’t show any emotion, and she didn’t utter a word. She kept her eyes forward, never daring to look in any other direction.
What exactly could have made a child forget so much yet act so reserved?
She thought back to the night prior when she was just about to fall asleep, but then Kiyomi suddenly started shaking and crying out a name. She replayed the memory in her head.
“Lukas.”
Hmmm?
The unconscious child started talking suddenly; Hatsumi sat up and checked on her before the child began speaking again.
“Lukas, hold on…wheels…down…mmnnnn…-ine..-ine line…med…vac…Lukas hold on…”
The child started shaking violently and began crying. She was even sweating so much that she would need another gown before long.
“Lukas. Lukas-please. Lu-kas. Wheels…down”
The pattern repeated for a few hours before she calmed down. Thankfully it stopped, and Hatsumi was able to get her rest as well, although she was still in her day’s robes.
Hatsumi initially wrote it off as a random nightmare, but she was starting to think whatever it was, it was rooted deep into Kiyomi’s mind. To react so fiercely in one’s sleep and recall not an ounce of it. From what it seemed, it was a miracle Kiyomi wasn’t shying away from anything that moved. For a moment, she had been there with Hatsumi, and then another she was a world away. It was as if her mind were fractured.
When Lorn proposed the adoption, Hatsumi thought to play it off, to detach the child from herself slowly. To give her the resources she needed to survive, then make Kiyomi view her simply as some teacher rather than a guardian. It was hard for her to parse together her feelings about taking on a child, another girl the same age that her own should have been. So her train of thought led her to the simplest and easiest route: distance herself. But as the day passed and she saw more of the child, she began to resent herself for the thought. Kiyomi had stumbled about only marginally better than Hatsumi's own daughter had. The child’s mannerisms and speech betrayed her. If Hatsumi simply gave her some resources, the little girl would surely have ended up in some horrible place. If not in the same state as her family, she would have been grabbed by some traveling merchant or slaver. She was innocent in her reactions, and she seemed sweet and earnest in her questions and actions. If she was left on her own, with no one truly looking after her, she might as well have bled out on the road she stumbled across when they met. It was when Kiyomi suddenly hid behind her when they went to see Callum that she felt herself deciding to truly act on the course they had set. When Kiyomi dirtied her clothes as they ate, it only drove the feeling home. She didn’t see some random, aimless child; she saw the face of her little girl, of the one she couldn’t protect, of the one that everyone they’d seen today known as a part of their family as well.
Thinking back about her own daughter and spending the day with Kiyomi, she could not distance herself. The more they shared each other’s presence, Hatsumi found herself looking back on her previous train of thought with abhorrence. If it weren’t her own little girl to perish, if it were her instead, if it were her entire team instead, if Lorn, or Maria, or even Avery had all met their fates instead of her little girl. Who would have been there? To take her child’s hand and ensure she would be happy.
Hatsumi found herself clenching her teeth before looping her tail around Kiyomi and relaxing it.
She did not know what these feelings were entirely; all she knew was she could give the girl another chance. The feelings of others be damned at the moment. She saw abandoning Kiyomi as no different as if they had abandoned her own daughter long ago.
Over the course of her watching Kiyomi finish her meal, Hatsumi made the decision within her own mind and heart. She was not truly her daughter, but Kiyomi would not be some drifting child from this point forth.
She’s my little girl now…One of my little girls. You would have been such good friends, Yui.
After simply thinking of her other child’s name, she felt her throat flexing and readying for an influx of tears. But now wasn’t the time. She had to ensure that what she did now, was not in vain. Only she and Lorn had come to the agreement of adopting Kiyomi by the end of the day. Callum seemed to be the only one aside from them that was remotely comfortable with the decision. For the others, this would be hard for them. Hatsumi saw the road ahead in her mind, it was fogged over, but it felt right. And it was one she had resolved to dedicate herself to, with a new and hardened resolve.
Kiyomi finished her meal and poked Hatsumi, freeing her from her thoughts, before displaying a cleared plate.
“I’m done, ma’am.”
Kiyomi peered back up at Hatsumi with a timid expression, to which Hatsumi smiled warmly in response.
“Good girl, you should grow up strong eating like that.”
“Hm-hm!”
Kiyomi nodded back up to Hatsumi, smiling keenly.
Ahhh, this little girl is dangerous wielding that level of cuteness. I almost feel bad making her do what she needs to do next.
Hatsumi took the empty plate, placing it on the nightstand, and walked to the door, knocking on it. Then turned around, tail swishing in sync with her.
“Now, Go pick up your sword~.”
“?!”
Ugh, my arms are already burning. She was serious about me following through?
I tried remaining quiet throughout the whole meal. I thought if I said even a word, I would have simply angered or depressed Hatsumi. Her team didn’t seem too happy after the meeting turned into a family orientation. I personally felt like shit after leaving the room. Truthfully, a part of me wanted to hide away and cry, which was a new feeling altogether for me, at least since I had not felt like that in so long. But if I had, I would have been worse off, and I would have only made trouble for those I was already an inconvenience to. Near the end, Hatsumi seemed to encompass me before I finished, and I gave her my plate. Despite giving me such a warm expression, I was now missing that awkward silence.
For the past five minutes, I’d been awkwardly holding my sword in my hands with my legs spaced out. I had another twenty-five minutes to hold it in this position before I could relax and change for bed, and I was already fairing poorly.
A minute later, Maria came to the door to take our plates. Hatsumi gave them to her, then moved over to me after closing the door, a small sand dial in her palm.
“Kiyomi, do you know how to tell time?”
She leaned in and asked me, she asked sincerely. I nodded to her question, to which she let out a sigh of relief.
“So, this glass is for thirty minutes. You have passed seven just now. Every other night for this week, I’ll have you hold your sword for this time. Do you understand?”
She asked, her tail flicking from side to side like a cat.
“I-I understand.”
I responded as clearly as I could, but the strain was already making me kind of shaky. Hatsumi then nodded.
“So, while you have to train by holding your sword, you can ask me anything that comes across your mind. No matter how dumb it may feel to ask, do not hesitate. Okay?”
She pointed a finger towards me, expecting an answer,
Her demeanor changed so much from earlier, almost like it was the first time she spoke to me. Only she seemed happier and more purposeful.
I thought for a moment about her proposal, and my mind shot back to her apology earlier today.
“A-actually, I have one right now.”
I shakily responded
“Hmm? Ask away.”
She definitely was happier with my response.
“You s-said you’d explain the system to me?”
Hatsumi proceeded to sit down on the bed and crossed her legs, breathing in for a moment.
“I’ll give you the basics for now.”
She said so with a sudden, serious expression. Just like earlier, she was taking her own actions seriously.
I’ll be in your care, ma’am.