Fate Stay Night - Medea Caster route

TRUE ENDING-PART 7

It was morning, and Shirou woke up in a hospital room. He blinked slowly as his eyes adjusted to the light, and after some moments he lowered them from the ceiling and started to look around. After he did, he noted nurses and doctors walk quickly in and out of the room.

He saw how some were treating people in beds, others were moving people in wheelchairs who had some missing limbs, and others were taking out of the room some stretchers that had big plastic bags on them.

At one point one of the nurses walked in front of him and noted that he had awoken.

"Doctor, the child patient is awake." The nurse said aloud after a moment.

Almost immediately a doctor approached Shirou and immediately started to carefully observe him after gently greeting him.

Some hours had passed since he awoke, and now Shirou was in a room where he had been doing several exams.

At the moment he was quite tired and confused. He didn't know why, but each time the result of any exam he had taken came out, the several doctors that were examining him had some baffled and confused looks on their faces. They didn't tell him anything, but he managed to hear the doctors whispering about something that was impossible, how all the different medical machinery couldn't have broken, or how maybe they had the medical result of another patient.

From what he had understood when he had arrived in the hospital he was in quite a bad shape, but now, he was fine, as if he had not arrived at the hospital covered from head to toes in injuries after he had been recovered from near the center of the disaster, where the casualty rate exceeded the 100%.

But as he thought about it Shirou did vividly remember the sensation of his lungs being burned by the scorching air. He clearly remembered his flesh being torn and bones being shredded by the rubble of the building that fell on him. He could almost feel that strange and terrible pain that consumed him inside…

But all the pain miraculously stopped when that woman arrived to save him.

After having remembered her Shirou started to wonder who the woman was, and if he would have seen her ever again...

Days started to pass and Shirou was still in the hospital.

Never once had he asked any question on why he was being held back for so long despite being in good conditions since he knew that the medical staff found his situation particularly strange. Every day the doctors would subject him to many different kinds of tests, and like always, they remained baffled by the results. From what he had heard lately now it seemed that even the few wounds that he had at first magically disappeared during the nights that have passed.

It was clear that the doctors never once had seen a case like his, and not only that, in the current situation it could have been said that the fact that he was unharmed was a real miracle. Of all the patients that have been recovered from the night of that incident for now over 85% had died.

He even heard how in the medical report about him they had no idea of what to write since he remembered his name only and his miraculous recovery sounded too absurd to be written on official papers.

Shirou sometimes just couldn't help but wonder just for how much time he would have remained there... but then, even if one day he will be released from the hospital, where should he have gone? He didn't exactly remember anyone that was part of his family, and yet, he was sure he had seen all of them die the night of that incident...

The only person he remembered from that night was the woman that saved him, and he clearly remembered how she looked at him with that sad expression...

It was now late at night, and Shirou was watching the ceiling since couldn't sleep.

Six days have passed since he had first woken up, and despite being fine he was still in the hospital.

He now was still awake not because he was bothered by that, it was because every time he went to sleep he had a terrible nightmare where he revived that night of the incident, and each time he would wake up terrorized and scream, waking up that dozen of patients that were present in the room with him.

Since he was in no danger of life like the others, and because of this particular problem of his, he had been moved into a small room, and now he was all by himself. It didn't mean that he was alone and he wasn't under observation, in fact, whenever he would wake from his nightmares a nurse or more would immediately come into the room and try to calm him down as best as they could.

And after the nurses helped him to calm down a bit they would leave the room, and Shirou would have been left alone with his thoughts, as the images of the disaster that still persisted in his mind, and the sound of the screams and blasphemies he heard that night still made his ears ring...

The pain, the fire, the screams… all of those things still haunted him every time he tried to close his eyes...

But, there was something that somehow calmed him down.

Shirou turned his head, just to see that it was still there.

A couple of days before he noted that whenever he looked out of the window, it didn't matter if it was day or night, there was always a bird outside who was watching him, and for some strange reason knowing that the bird was there always calmed him down.

He didn't know why, but he just felt that he was not alone anymore… he somehow knew that he could rest easy, in a similar way he did when the woman saved him.

Shirou at one point closed his eyes, and he wasn't sure how much time had passed before he finally managed to fall asleep, but when he did, instead of that horrible hellish sight he witnessed a week before, that night he dreamed of the woman that had saved him, and she was in front of him, looking at him, and instead of having that exasperating sad expression... She was smiling.

Once again it was morning, and the warm rays of the sun coming out of the window woke Shirou up.

The little child slowly rubbed his eyes, and a moment later he opened them and looked outside the window, but after he did he noted that the sun was already quite high and that bird that had always been present was nowhere to be seen.

'...How strange.' He thought before he turned his head toward the door.

But after he turned around Shirou noticed a figure lying by his bedside, and it looked to be a familiar figure. After a second Shirou's heart jumped with joy as he recognized who the person next to him was. As soon as he did, Shirou tried to sit up, but as he quickly shifted his position he ended up waking the woman who was resting her head on the bedside.

After a moment he saw her slowly raise her head and watch him.

"...Oh, Shirou, you're awake." The strange-looking woman said as she rubbed her left eye. "Sorry if I entered uninvited and fell asleep, it's just that you were sleeping so soundly that I…"

After an instant, she stopped doing anything and she widened her eyes.

"Gods, you're awake!" The woman suddenly exclaimed, before she almost jumped on him and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry that I couldn't come here sooner, but no matter what I tried to say or do, the staff wouldn't let me see you! Gods, I was so worried!"

Shirou remained silent while he was being strongly hugged by the woman.

"Shirou, I'm so sorry for what happened." The woman then started to say. "I shouldn't have left you alone. If I didn't then nothing would have happened!" She continued before she broke away from the embrace and looked him right in the eyes with a sad expression.

Even if he didn't show it Shirou was incredibly happy that his savior once again had come for him, but at the moment there was something that bothered him.

The expression she had was one that was bothering him… Why was she watching him with those eyes so full of sadness?

He… he didn't know why, he just didn't want to see her sad. He wanted to see her smile like she did when she saved him.

"Please Shirou, say something." The woman begged. "Are you mad at me for leaving you?" She then worriedly asked.

"...Ehm, no… but… but can I ask you a question?" He asked innocently.

"Sure, ask me anything!" The woman said with a smile as she nodded.

"...Who… who are you?" He asked, since he didn't know, or remembered, who the woman was.

Not even a moment later Shirou strongly regretted having asked that very stupid question.

He saw how the little smile the woman had disappeared and got replaced by an expression of clear concern.

"...Shirou… what did you just ask?" She slowly asked after a moment, with a clear tone of shock and disbelief in her voice.

"I... I asked who you are…" He repeated, preoccupied with the fact that he may have said something wrong.

After that moment Shirou could see how the woman's expression of concern turned into one of anxiety, and from then to one of fear, and then outright terror.

The woman quickly put a hand in front of her mouth to hide the terrible expression she had.

"...You… it can't be... '' She muttered before she immediately got up from her chair. "S-Shirou, just wait here for a moment, I have to speak with the doctors." The woman said before she turned and quickly left the room.

As she got out Shirou wanted to tell her to stop and not to leave him, but before he could she had already left... and after she did, Shirou realized that had no idea of how to call her.

…

…

…

Why… Why did the woman leave?

Did she leave because he had said something wrong? Maybe he shouldn't have asked who she was?

After a moment Shirou started to wonder if the woman had been offended by the fact he had forgotten her. But why did she leave the room? Was she angry with him? ...Didn't she want to see him anymore?

...No.

When he told her that she didn't remember her he saw her scared expression… so, was she concerned about him? Was she going to speak to the doctors about his memory loss?

From that moment on many questions went through his head, but after five minutes that felt like an etermity, the woman finally returned, and Shirou could see that she now had a very melancholic and tired expression.

"...So, somehow the doctors had forgotten to tell me you've lost your memory…" She sighed, as she walked toward him and sat back on the chair next to his bed. "...Shirou, in this week that you have passed in the hospital, have you remembered anything about yourself... or your family?" The woman carefully asked.

"...I'm sorry, but other than my name I don't remember anything." Shirou said very displeased.

He may be a child, but he knew that losing his memories was not a good thing.

"Shirou, Shirou, you do not have to say that you're sorry… It's not your fault… Nothing that happened was your fault." The woman said, as she got close and started to gently caress him on the head. "It's just that… I should have expected that something similar would have happened after you lived such a traumatizing experience and got so wounded… *sniff* I'm sure that you wouldn't be in these conditions if I never left you alone…" The woman said before she started to tear up. "What a poor child… left alone in that hellish land for who knows how long… and who knows just what kinds of horrors you have witnessed..." She continued.

Shirou said nothing, but now his attention had been completely caught by her expression.

"...If I never abandoned you nothing would have ever happened... It was all my fault, wasn't it? ...Will you ever be able to forgive me for having abandoned you? ...Will you be able to forgive all the things I've done?" She asked with tears pouring down her face.

Shirou didn't know how to respond, and even if he knew, he could not.

"...It's my fault... it's all my fault." He then heard the woman mutter as she lowered her head before she took her hand off his head and covered her face.

As he watched her, Shirou felt his heart shatter.

Despite all the things that happened to him that night she had been able to save him, so why was she sad?

If he was now alive it was all thanks to her, so why was she crying? Why was she saying that it had been her fault?

She had saved him!

He didn't want to see her cry. He didn't want to see her blame herself. He didn't want to see her like this. He wanted her to be happy.

He wanted to see her smile like she did that night.

At that moment Shirou understood that he detested the very idea of seeing her being sad.

No one should look that sad.

No one should feel that sad.

No one should have suffered in that way.

No one should have suffered in any way.

Ever.

He didn't want her to suffer anymore because of him. He needed to comfort her somehow. Even if she didn't want or need comforting, Shirou still needed to do something. Anything!

At that moment he suddenly realized that the only thing he could do was to hug her.

He spread his arms as much as he could and he leaned toward her, after he did, the woman noticed that he was moving and she raised her head to see what he was doing. After seeing that he wanted to give her a hug, the woman immediately assumed a moved expression and then proceeded to hug him.

"I'm so sorry for having abandoned you Shirou... I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry..." She started to say with a low tone of voice, over and over.

Shirou at the moment was silent since he still didn't know what to say, but he couldn't help but note the thrill he was feeling for having somehow comforted the woman a little.

As he hugged her Shirou noted how the woman had also begun to softly sob before she started to hug him a bit more highly. He didn't know exactly why, but this action also sent a little shiver down his spine.

But as he hugged her Shirou couldn't see the way Medea was carefully observing and studying him, as she continually asked forgiveness while she pretended to cry

"... I'm sorry, I've been crying for so long... I… I didn't mean to bother you." The woman, who now was calm and had returned to sit back on her chair, said as she dried her tears.

For almost half an hour she had done nothing but cry as she begged Shirou to forgive her for having abandoned him, and sometimes she also said something on how nothing that happened was his fault, but Shirou had not been bothered by any of that, contrariwise, he was incredibly happy to know that there was someone who still cared for him that much.

"You don't need to worry. Everything is alright." Shirou said as he tried to reassure the woman.

"...How can anything be alright? ...After everything that happened you've also lost your memory… you do not even know who I am... Now I'm just a stranger to you…" The woman said with a depressed tone, as she looked aside.

Shirou at that moment wanted to say something, but he couldn't. The woman was right, he now didn't even know who she was.

"...well, I'm sure that with time I will recover some of my memories and I'll start to remember." Shirou said after a while.

"...Yeah… that may be possible." The woman sighed.

"What is your name? Maybe if you tell me I may start to remember something." Shirou asked.

The woman raised her head and watched him for a very long moment.

"Right… I'm Medea. Does this name sound familiar?"

After Medea asked that question Shirou closed his eyes and started to concentrate. For over a minute he thought and reflected about her name over and over… but nothing came to his mind.

"...I'm sorry, but for now I don't remember anything." Shirou said after a bit.

"I've told you that you don't have to be sorry… it's ok. The only thing that now matters is that you're alright." Medea said with a smile as she got closer to him with the chair.

"...Medea, can I ask you a question?" Shirou then asked.

"Sure, ask me anything." She said with a little nod.

"To me... who are you?"

"Well, I'm… I was an old friend of the family. Many years ago during a difficult period, I had no place to go, but… your mother, a kind soul who was a good friend of mine, invited me to stay with her and her family. Since she invited me I have never left."

"Oh, I see." Shirou nodded.

Now he knew who the woman was... But just what kind of relationship did he have with her? Why was she so happy to have saved him?

"Yeah, and to thank her I always took care of you… and since I was always with you, you had started to see me as your big sister..." Medea said with a faint smile, one that shortly after faded.

Here is the answer he wanted.

They were way closer than he first thought… and yet, he had forgotten her. This explained why the woman had been so shocked to discover that he had lost his memory.

But other than that, Shirou had another question to ask… one that he really hoped wouldn't hurt the woman any further.

"...My mother… my family… is there someone else left?" He then asked after a long silence.

Medea after hearing his question slowly lowered her head in clear shame.

"...I… I'm sorry... but it's just the two of us now…" Medea said, as she clearly tried real hard not to cry again.

Once again Shirou couldn't help but feel incredibly bad for the woman, and also, he felt stupid for having hurt her by asking her that question.

Yes, she may have just said that no one of his family had survived, but strangely, he had felt nothing. And at the moment he was more preoccupied about what his savior was feeling.

Shirou at the moment wanted to try real hard, but he just couldn't understand what she was going through.

Medea surely had just lost many people she had known for many years, and now he, the only one she had managed to save that night, had completely forgotten her.

...Just what kind of terrible pain was she feeling right now?

At that moment someone suddenly knocked on the door.

"Miss? Have you finished with your visit?" A nurse asked after he entered the room.

"What? Are the visiting hours already over?" Medea asked as she turned around.

"Almost, but if you want you may stay for another five minutes. I came here just to tell you that it's almost time." The nurse said before he left the room.

Medea remained silent for a moment before she turned to watch Shirou.

"...I… I know that it may be a strange thing to ask, but Shirou, can I… can I keep coming here? ...Or this stranger is just bothering you...?" She asked with a look of someone who was about to cry.

"Yes, of course! You can come here whenever you want! And if you come here every day I may start to recover my memory!" Shirou immediately said to cheer the woman up.

Medea upon hearing his words sighed with relief and gave him a very warm and soft smile, a moment later she leaned forward and softly hugged him.

"...Thank you Shirou… you do not know how much this means to me… I… I... Thanks for having survived that night." She said with a voice that was sweet as honey.

Shirou at that moment felt ecstatic.

He… He had done it!

He had calmed the woman! He made her feel better!

After that Medea promised him that she would come every day to visit him until he could leave the hospital, and after that, she left.

After the woman had gone away Shirou could definitely say that he was quite happy.

Not only the person that saved him had come back for him, now he had something to look forward to every day...

Medea got out of the hospital and sighed.

She could say that the first step of her long-term plan was done.

Yes, she had come here to see Shirou, but the first and most important reason for her visit was that she had come here to observe his mental health.

What had caused Shirou's death in the first place had been his strong and outright suicidal desire to save others, so that had to be the first thing she had to "fix".

She could say that since he had not been saved by Kiritsugu, he surely didn't develop that same innate desire to save others…

...But it was better this way, right? If he would not risk following the same path that Archer and his "older self" did then it couldn't be a bad thing… right?

Medea knew that she had distorted him… but this time it would surely be for the best.

For his best.

...Anyway, other than that she had started to put into Shirou's head the idea that nothing that had happened that night had been his fault, and how he was a victim too since he had been 'abandoned' by her.

Shirou did suffer from a severe case of survivor guilt, another factor that caused his death, and for this reason, Medea had already started to take some measures to "treat" it.

Yes, Shirou's case was incredibly severe, one that couldn't just be treated, but Medea thought that making Shirou understand from the very beginning that he, as a simple child that had been left alone, couldn't have done anything in the first place could have some positive effect on his psyche.

In fact the next time she would come here she would put more emphasis on how she had abandoned him and blame everything that happened on herself, hoping that it would make his guilt somehow more light.

And to make sure that he wouldn't ever start to feel in any way possible unworthy of life and have low self-esteem, she would make sure to state how saving him had been the most important thing she had ever done, and how he was the only person she had left in the world. She wanted him to feel somehow important, at least to her.

If it worked this would surely make Shirou be very dependent on her, but for a child of his age, it could be considered normal to be attached to their… guardian.

...But as she thought about it, Medea had noted that whenever she cried or assumed a sad expression Shirou seemed quite bothered by it, even though he didn't clearly show it since he always had that blank and emotionless expression during all of the visit.

She had to yet clearly understand what kind of mindset he had acquired after being saved by her, but she was sure that with time she would have been able to understand it and figure out just how she had to proceed with him…

But could it be that he didn't want to see her sad?

If it was so, he didn't want to see her being sad because she was his savior, or because he wanted to somehow help her and see her being happy?

...This matter would surely require further and more careful observations, but for now, she had other things to think about.

Medea simply walked into an alley before she vanished.

A moment passed, and Medea opened her eyes. She was now in her room in the old "Emiya manor", which now was hers.

She got out of the room, walked past her Dragon warriors that were putting some new wooden planks on the ground, and she walked to the living room. There she found Kiritsugu seated at the table as he worked at the computer.

She looked around the room, and she was quite satisfied to see that the works there were almost complete.

"So, did Raiga tell you when the next load of materials will arrive?" She asked.

"He said that it would arrive within a couple of days." Kiritsugu simply answered as he kept working on his computer.

"Two days? ...Yes, it's an acceptable amount of time. Shirou should come here around next week, and by that time the restoration will be completed..." The woman thought aloud.

Kiristugu said nothing, but he just couldn't think of how convenient it had been for Caster to have her minions. Those skeletons had been working day and night for almost an entire week on the property, and it didn't surprise him that almost half of it had already been restored.

In fact, the skeleton had been so quick with the jobs that they had already used up the majority of materials that Raiga had provided them with, and it was because of it that Kiritsugu had ordered the old man to call another load of materials.

Yes, ordered.

A day after he and Caster had met and formed their little alliance Kiristugu had stabilized a meeting with the old man. He had decided that to aid with his future expenses and to earn Raiga's favor he could sell some of his weapon to the old man, but when he had arrived at the place of the encounter he had been quite surprised to see that between Raiga and his men there was Caster as well. When he asked the Servant what she was doing there the woman simply told him that she had foreseen what he wanted to do, and she, with a bit of magic, had 'convinced' the man to do whatever they asked. After that she just disappeared, leaving Kiristugu alone with the head and the members of the local criminal clan.

The woman had used magic on the old man, so no matter what he asked Raiga he would help him as best as he could, but even if he was under the influence of magic Kiristugu didn't want to exploit him more than he should.

"Raise your shirt." Caster said as she got behind him.

Kiritsugu did as the woman ordered, and after he did he felt Caster placing her hand on his back and using magic on him to analyze him.

After a minute the woman took her hand off his back and said: "Good news Kiritsugu, we are facing a real miracle. I've been able to save three of your circuits. You will need a couple of weeks of rest, but I can assure you will be able to use them very soon... but, I have to inform you that because of the curse their quality has been ruined quite a bit. I have tried my best, but there was nothing that could have been done."

"...Now I have only three magic circuits left?" Kiritsugu thought aloud.

In the past day's Caster had subjected him to several magic operations in the hope of restoring some of his magic circuits, but she had been able to restore only three of them? The woman had told him that because of the curse he had around 5 years of life left, but were his current conditions so severe? What could he achieve with just three magic circuits? He wouldn't even be able to use his magic crest...

"Well, to be more precise you now have three magic circuits of a mediocre quality that will deteriorate over the years, since the curse of the Grail is still present and strong in your body." The woman added after a moment.

"...Aren't you able to remove the curse and improve my conditions?" He asked as he turned around.

"In normal cases, I could, but the problem is that the curse has become a part of your very self and that the majority of the damage has already been done. If I went to remove it I would probably kill you." Caster calmly lied.

Yes, she could try to remove the curse from the man, but there was no reason for her to do so. As she just said the curse had already destroyed beyond repair everything of importance, so its removal would maybe postpone Kiristugu's untimely death for a few years. And she had no reason for him to live that long.

This, was her little vengeance for what he had done to both Shirou and Archer.

Kiritsugu sighed at the woman's words.

"...And how should I be able to save Illya in these conditions?" Kiritsugu asked as he lowered his shirt and turned back to his computer.

"This is why I told you that you have to be patient. I'm sure that in the future we will have the opportunity to find you a donor that will help us with this problem of yours. And even if we fail to find one you have to remember that I'm here, and I'll be able to assist you with my Magecraft that comes directly from the Age Of The Gods. Do not let doubt creep in, Emiya, because it is just a matter of time before you will be able to save your daughter." Caster said.

Kiritsugu said nothing and just nodded.

Caster in the end was still a Servant, and few were the beings in this world that could fight one. Even if in the future he will not be in the perfect conditions to fight, Caster's help would reveal itself to be fundamental.

After that moment Medea looked down and saw some papers near Kiristugu's computer.

"And these are...?" She asked as she took them.

"The adoption paper and the documents you asked for. I've already compiled everything, you just need to put in your signature, and the child will already be under your custody."

"Perfect…" Caster said with a little smile.

"Anyway, Caster, how are we put up with the defenses?" Kiritsugu asked.

"This early morning I erected the final layer of the Anti-Divination Bounded field. For the security measures, we have nothing to worry about. In the past week, I've built some of the most powerful defensive Bounded fields, but I've left some room for any improvement, just in case. The traps and sentinels are scattered throughout the territory and perimeter, they are very difficult to sense and spot. And thanks to another Bounded Field that erases all kinds of magic traces we are concealed. No matter what we do in this territory, we are unnoticeable." She immediately answered.

"Have you seen if there is an enemy that suspects of our presence?"

"For what I've seen no one suspects anything." Caster answered.

"So, when will you start to act?"

"I'll start when I find Zouken's phylactery. The war is over, and yet he is keeping the girl inside the home. I think he will keep doing so until he is sure that things have settled down. Until then, we must stay low."

"...And at the moment you can't even attack him since you may attract Kirei's and Archer's attention." Kiritsugu commented.

"Exactly." Caster just said.

Kiristugu remained silent and started to think. If things kept going at this pace then it would really take some months before they'll be able to save Illya…

And until then, just what he could do? He now was keeping himself occupied by doing what the woman asked, but he couldn't just wait for the right time to come…

He had to save Illya as soon as possible.

"Remember Emiya, haste is a poor counselor, especially in the situation you find yourself in." Caster said as she noted the man's expression.

"...You are quite hasty too, Caster. Despite being surrounded by enemies you have already built your base and you're preparing yourself to take in that child you care for. Don't you worry he might get caught up in a fight if someone should ever find us?" Kiritsugu asked.

"...You got your point, but you have to remember that my enemies do not even know that I exist. Also, this house at the moment is the safest place in the city, and of course, I've already prepared different escape routes. You, instead... it's a miracle that you're still able to walk, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were some people who are still searching for your corpse in the rubbles of the fire."

"...About this matter, have you seen if someone had been searching for me?" He asked.

"In this week the city has been invaded by magic investigators and enforcers. I do not know if there was someone that was looking for you, but if there were any they have probably given up since the majority by this point has left the city."

"...Good." Kiritsugu just said.

If the news of his disappearance reached the Einzbern they may really think that he had died as he fought for the Grail. This way they would not take revenge for his betrayal on Illya.

"Is there any other question you have to ask?" Caster asked.

"None." Kiristugu simply answered.

"Okay then, see you later." Caster said before she left the room.

Kiristugu said nothing, and he kept working on his computer.

It was now evening, and Kiristugu was sitting on the veranda as he smoked and watched Caster's skeleton working around the property.

At the moment, other than saving Illya, he wasn't thinking anything important.

No matter what he was doing, no matter the time of the day, Kiristugu could only think about her.

The thought of saving his daughter never left his mind. Even when he went to sleep he would dream of her...

She was his only salvation.

Saving her was the only thing he could do in the hope of redeeming himself even a single bit... if he could ever be redeemed after all the things he had done.

...But that didn't matter. If he could then he had to make up for the countless wrongs he did, in a way or the other...

And speaking of which, five days before he had ordered Raiga to give Maya a proper burial and a tomb in the cemetery near the temple.

Since she had been buried he had yet to visit her grave… but why should he ever do it? What should he tell her if he ever went to visit her?

...Should he tell her how he had failed? ...That he got her killed for nothing? ...That everything they have been fighting for has been just a lie?

...That all this time long she had followed a mad man in his senseless quest?

And with what courage should he have gone to see her?

Like many others, he had just left her to die. So where was the point in visiting her tomb? It would not bring her back. It would change nothing. She was dead. Gone.

At one point Kiristugu even started to wonder just what Maya would tell or do if she for some reason would come back to life.

...Would she be angry with him? Furius? Resentful? Irate? ...Hostile?

...Would she try to kill him if she discovered that all the things he had done amounted to nothing?

...Or would she remain silent, and just stare at him with repugnance and disappointment?

...And what could he say to her? ...How could he ever defend or justify any of his actions?

After all the selfish things he had done he just deserved all the evils in the world...

...And the only thing he could do now was to save his daughter… the only thing he had left… the only thing he had to do.

"Instead of wasting time and doing nothing, why don't you go to sleep? You know that you have to rest." Caster suddenly said.

After hearing those words Kiritsugu silently turned his head to watch the woman who was now standing behind him.

"Let me at least finish my cigarette…" He said before he turned to watch the backyard.

After that, they remained in silence for a pair of minutes, as they watched the different Dragon warriors work, and Medea sometimes watched the man as she thought.

Even if he was half dead there was no reason for him to not rest. He had to be in acceptable physical conditions for when he would go to save Illya, but instead of resting or going to sleep at an acceptable time he stayed up until late at night smoking and doing nothing.

She didn't exactly know what was going on in his head, but she was sure that it had to do something with Illya.

"...By the way, I thought about it, and I have to say that you were right." Kiritsugu suddenly said at one point.

"About what?" Caster asked.

"About everything you told me that night... That I've ruined everything... That I'm a disgrace."

"...Well, it was not my intention to make you understand that nothing would have happened if you just stopped... but you're welcome." Medea said.

"...I just kept marching on… and for what?" Kiristugu asked himself after a moment. "...I've left Illya alone… I took Iri here, just so that she could die… I've left Maiya too... I've destroyed my family. What kind of vile and selfish person could ever do something similar?" He asked as he put his hand in his hair.

Kiristugu didn't notice, but at that moment Medea glared at him.

"...C'mon Emiya, you're being a little too dramatic. Yes, you did the things you did... but you can fix some of your mistakes. Look, you've abandoned your daughter, not killed her, so there is no reason to hate yourself so much." She said after a moment.

'...What a splendid comparison.' Kiristugu thought as he smoked, as he recalled how he had killed that illusion of 'Illya'.

"...Why shouldn't I despise myself?" He then asked after he exhaled a puff of smoke. "I should have stopped myself when I could. I should have run away with them in a place far away. I should have acted as a father and a husband and taken my family in a safe place... and instead, what have I done? …How is it possible that I have put my objective above my family?"

"...It seems that you really regret your actions." Medea commented as she watched the backyard.

"As I should. I had complete control of my actions, and yet… look at the evil that I have done." He said while frowning.

"...You know, your actions, in the end, weren't that evil… albeit ridiculous and stupid, you did it for the 'greater good', so there was some kind of noble end to it..." Medea said.

"...If it was noble or just I don't care. Even if the gods or something higher was on my side I wouldn't care. At the end of the day, I've condemned the people I loved and other hundreds of innocent people because I couldn't stop myself. There is nothing I can do to justify any of that. Ever." Kiritsugu said before he lowered his head and watched his hands. "...I really thought that in the end, it would have been worth it… how could have I been so stupid?" He asked as he curled his hands into fists.

Medea watched the man for a very long moment before sighing and saying: "You're right… how could you have been so stupid?"

After that moment Kiritsugu finished his cigarette and threw it away before he got up.

"...You know, Caster, I don't even care how you know almost everything about me… but that night you said something that still bothers me. You said that we have many things in common... What is it that you have done that you could compare yourself to me?" Kiritsugu then asked as he turned to watch her.

"...Trust me Emiya, you would be very surprised by the answers." The woman said with a sinister tone of voice.

"...Do you at least regret what you've done?" He asked.

"...Yes. There are some actions that I strongly regret."

"...Some? And the others?"

"The others? ...I would do them all over again if I had to." Medea said dead serious.

"...I see."

"..." Medea said nothing, and just kept watching him.

"...Yes, there is no need to repeat yourself, I'm going to sleep now. Night." Kiristugu said before he turned and went toward his room.

Medea watched the man leave, and after she did, she sighed.

It had been a long time since she had last thought about the horrible things she had done in life...

And now that the man had left, she was alone with her thoughts… and with those terrible memories.

Medea could hardly even remember the events of that day without feeling incredibly strange.

Whenever she thought of that day and closed her eyes, she only saw Jason's face staring up at her as he fell to his knees.

He was there on the ground looking at her, pleading for her to give him the bodies of her children.

And despite being still able to feel the terrible anguish that was so strong that could kill her, that dreadful pain for the sin she had committed against her own offspring, Medea could also still feel the enormous sense of satisfaction she felt at the times, as she mocked the pathetic man who cried and begged the gods for vengeance against the woman who took everything away from him, unaware of his hypocrisy.

She did remember how after she had left Corinth she went to bury her sons in Hera's sacred lands, and how with the help of her aunt Circe with a special magic ritual she cleansed herself of the crime...

But now, she, who was a copy of the real Medea, a copy summoned under the worst aspect of her legend, was free of this crime too? Was she free from this original sin of hers? Could she consider herself innocent in any way possible? Or she had to endure that sin along with that terrible pain and the memories of her poor children, who cried and begged their mad mother for mercy...?

...Was a magic ritual truly enough to free herself from the unforgivable things she had done?

...She didn't know why, but at that moment she suddenly remembered the words that Shirou had told her when they first met, on how she should have left her rancor and guilt...

How she shouldn't have undone the things that already happened...

How for her own good, and to make sure she would not repeat her mistakes, she should have just given up and started a new life.

...Medea at that moment put a hand on her face as she remembered Shirou telling her how even if she had undone everything, it wouldn't have changed the fact that she still had done the things she did.

...This was proof that nothing for her would ever change.

As always, if she had been a better person, she wouldn't be there.

It was now morning, and Medea was now carefully watching her crystal ball.

That morning her familiars had spotted Kirei leaving the church, and she of course had to keep an eye on him to make sure that he did nothing strange or suspicious. But she remained quite surprised when he, together with a young Tohsaka Rin, went to a cemetery and conducted a funeral for the girl's father.

And now that the funeral had ended, she was spying on the two of them.

[...Rin, it was an excellent debut for the young new head of the Tohsaka family. Your late father would have been very pleased with you today. Well done.] Said Kirei.

[...] The child just silently watched the priest as she held her own arm.

[You haven't quite grown fully accustomed to your crest yet I see. Does it hurt?] The priest asked.

[...It's nothing. I'm fine.] Rin said.

"Caster, I'm here. What is it?" Kiristugu asked as he entered the room. She had sent him a familiar and told him to reach her in her room.

"Come here and look, Emiya." She just said.

Kiristugu did as she said, and as he got near the table and saw the priest in the crystal ball, he frowned.

"...Kirei… he really is alive…" He said.

Caster said nothing, but she remained silent as she heard the two people she was spying on speaking, and then watched the young Rin pushing a woman on a wheelchair.

"...That woman… is her mother?" Medea asked.

She didn't remember ever seeing her nor Rin nor Sakura ever speaking about her… and seeing her conditions, she was not surprised.

"Yes. She is Aoi Tohsaka, mother of Rin… but I do not know what happened to her. I have no idea how she ended up in those conditions."

"...Looks like she now suffers from some brain damage…" Medea said as she watched the delirious woman.

"...Anyway, what did you want to tell me?" Kiritsugu asked.

"I've just found the person who will give you your new Magic Circuits." Caster answered as turned to watch him

"...Oh, I see. Aoi won't put up any resistance, and if she were to die no one would be surprised." Kiristugu said as he carefully watched Aoi.

Since Aoi was also a mage that came from a respectable line of mages she would have some circuits of good quality...

"I'm not talking about the woman, I'm talking about her husband." Medea corrected him.

"...Tokiomi? But he is dead." He said as he turned to watch her.

"Yeah, and that's the point. I will take the circuits from his corpse and put them into your body, which we, from a certain point of view, can say is a corpse as well."

After she said those words Kiristugu assumed a thoughtful expression.

"...Different racial ancestry, bloodline, quality of circuits… and from what I know as the Circuits are located in the soul, a fusion of body and mind is required during the transplant… and only one of us is completely 'dead'. There are far too many factors in play to make our two systems compatible. Do you think you will be able to do it?"

"Emiya, you do not know, but as one of the greatest Mages of The Age Of The Gods, I'm someone who can breaks rules and is capable of achieving the impossible. You have nothing to fear." Medea said with confidence.

"...Will you leave the recovery of the body to me?" He asked.

"Of course, but before you'll do it I'll have to erect a bounded field around the cemetery to make sure no one notices anything." Medea said.

"Understood. I'll call some of Raiga's men who can help me with it... we will go when the cemetery is closed." Kiristugu said before he turned and left.

"I leave everything to you, Emiya..."

After having said that, Medea turned her head and watched the clock on the wall. She saw that she still had some time to do what he had to do before she had to visit Shirou at the hospital…

[I have to go away. I'll be leaving Japan for a while.] Kirei then said to Rin.

'...What?' Medea thought after hearing those words.

She then turned toward the crystal ball and intently watched the priest.

[...We'll next meet six months from now. At that time I'll conduct the second crest transplantation. Take care that you are in peak physical condition when I return.] He continued.

Medea silently watched the crystal ball.

'Well, well, well... This could change my plans quite a bit…' She thought.

It was late afternoon, and Kiritsugu was now in Caster's workshop. He was leaning his back against the wall as he waited for her to come out of the "operating room".

Just like Caster had told him to do, he had recovered Tokiomi's body and brought it to her. As soon he did, she took it in that room and told him to wait there.

Now it was just a matter of time before the operation began. And Kiritsugu had to admit that he was a bit nervous. The woman had guaranteed that she would have been able to give him some new circuits, and he believed her since in the past week she had demonstrated herself to be incredibly capable, but he still was a bit preoccupied.

What if something went wrong during the operation and he would remain paralyzed? How would he be able to save Illya then?

"Enter." Caster, who wore her robes without the cloak and had her sleeves raised, said as she opened the door of the room. "And start to undress Emiya, I have almost finished the preparations." She continued

Kiritsugu simply nodded and entered the room, and as he looked around he saw one of the two operating tables that were present in the room, and on it, he saw the corpse of Tokiomi Tohsaka lay face down, who had a little Bounded Field around itself.

After that, he undressed, put his clothes on a chair, and then sat on the other surgical table that was next to the other where Tokiomi was.

"Tell me, will it hurt?" He asked.

"Well, only in the later stages of the surgery." Medea said as she washed her hands in a basin of water. "You see Emiya, the magic circuits are connected to the nervous system, and to make sure that I make no mistake you'll have to tell me if you feel something is wrong. Don't worry, when I'll cut you open you will not feel anything… but it's later on that it will become a problem. Yes, I will anesthetize you as much as possible, but you will have to feel anything I do to you."

"...At least you know what you're doing." Kiristugu sighed with relief.

"Oh no, this is my first time doing this." Medea corrected while she dried her hands with a towel.

"...What?" He asked as he turned to watch her.

"You see Emiya, this is the difference between good mages and mediocre ones. The good mages, like myself, always adapt to every kind of situation they find themself in. You see, at my time humans did not have magic circuits since they were unable to practice Magecraft, so a mediocre mage that comes from my era wouldn't know what to do in this situation. But I, instead, know exactly what to do and how to act.. at least theoretically."

"...So, this is your first time doing a transplant of this kind?" Kiritsugu asked.

"Yes."

"...And you are sure of your abilities?"

"Of course I am. And then, as the saying goes, 'you learn by making mistakes', isn't that right?" Medea asked with a little amused smile as she watched Kiristugu's concerned expression.

Kiristugu said nothing, but at the moment he didn't feel very safe. Not for the fact that he will probably suffer a lot, but because he feared that something may go wrong during the surgery...

"Oh, by the way…" Caster said before she turned around and snapped a finger, and a moment later five Dragon warriors appeared. "One of you, grab a pen and paper and write down everything I say, including all my observations and thoughts. The other will help me with the operation."

After she said those words one Dragon warrior nodded and left the room.

Kiristugu said nothing, but he just kept staring at Caster.

"...You know, it's never too late to learn anything new regarding the magic circuits that modern human mages have. These notes could surely come in handy in the future." Caster said.

As the Dragon warrior came back with what Caster asked she turned her head around and watched the clock.

"The operation will take a good while… and even if I should finish early I'll have time to visit Shirou less than half an hour… oh well, I can just use magic and make the staff let me enter." Caster then said with a shrug. "...And before I forget it, Emiya, I have another piece of good news for you." She continued, as she covered her hands with sacred and magic oil.

"What is it?"

"Kirei and Archer will soon leave the city. I've spied on their conversations, and the priest will leave for around six months, while Archer said that he would have started to go around the world for some years."

At that moment Kiristugu widened his eyes.

"...Wait… if this is true, this means that we will be free to do whatever we want in this period of time without the need to hide."

"Yeah. And once they will go away and I'll have taken care of Zouken, the city will be ours."

"...Start with the operation then, we have no time to waste." Kiristugu said as he laid face down on the table.

"As you wish." Caster said, as two Dragon Warriors got close to her with two instrument trolleys, who had some strange instruments on them.

Caster turned her head toward the Dragon warrior that had had to write everything she said, before she walked between the two operating tables, and cleared her throat.

"Our first subject is Tokiomi Tohsaka. An adult male between the ages of 30 and 40. By this time standard, he could be considered a model magus. Judging from the state of his body and from the information received by a second party, it's been around a week since his death. The cause of death has been a deep stab in the left latissimus dorsi, more precisely, between the internal and external abdominal oblique. I'll now begin the operation by dissecting his body, observing the state of his circuits, and will then determine how to proceed with their removal, before starting the operation on Kiritsugu Emiya, our second subject…" Caster said, as with her index finger that had a small ball of energy on it traced some lines in Tokiomi's back, which a moment later she opened, without any kind of blood or body fluid spilling.