Falling into the Abyss

Ethan was half asleep and half awake, struggling between the lingering cold and the ambiguous pain in his body. His consciousness was sometimes lucid and sometimes fuzzy. All the imagery tangled together, rendering him unable to distinguish between hallucinations and memories.

The boundless loneliness and helplessness made him want to curl up, but his hands and feet were shackled by the frozen chains. An uproar startled his heavy head, and he woke up. There was dead silence in the dimly lit basement, but Ethan’s perception seemed to be many times stronger than before. His mild myopia was cured, and he could even see the strange and complex five-pointed star-shaped symbol composed of many corners and curves on the ceiling.

The symbol looked down upon Ethan coldly from a high place, filled with a deep sense of darkness and evil. He felt that the symbol was familiar as if he had seen it somewhere.

He smelled the familiar faint smell of bitter sandalwood in the air and could hear a heartbeat. He and Tanisiel were the only two left.

He turned his head slightly and saw the priest sitting in the armchair beside him, his eyes closed and his face pale. Ethan’s heart was full of sadness and disappointment.

He finally knew why the priest approached him.

He always told himself that he didn’t care and thought that he wouldn’t mind even if he was being used. It was better to have hope than nothing. However, when he knew that Tanisiel was just a beautiful trap in his life and that the priests had been helping him and protecting him, probably to bring him to the Eves’ planet to help him complete his transformation into adulthood so they could carry out their ritual of devolution, his heart, which had already turned black, could still feel a sharp pain piercing it.

Whether he was born for that purpose or not, whether it was for better or worse, his efforts were meaningless. The people around him were all arranged by an irresistible power, leading him to a predetermined ending.

Accepting the core of the universe……

Ethan did not understand exactly what the man in black always wanted him to accept, but he could vaguely feel that once he accepted it, he would lose his last piece of humanity—his last bit of human intelligence.

No one would care if Ethan disappeared or even know that he existed.

It was really…a meaningless life.

Ethan tried to open his mouth. He knew he should not ask some questions because he knew the answer wouldn’t be pleasant, but he still wanted to obtain a clear answer.

“Why…choose me?” Ethan’s voice was weak and dry as if every word would exhaust his strength.

Tanisiel slowly opened his eyes. The dim candlelight leaped in the silver-gray eyes, causing them to appear a little tired. “Because this is my task……find the chosen one, and protect him.”

“So it was your job to have sex with me?” Ethan laughed. Although Ethan was mocking him, it sounded as if he was somewhat disappointed.

Tanisiel felt a dull and dry pain spread slowly in his heart, like someone had wrapped his heart with a thin rusty wire and was slowly tightening it. He didn’t know whether it was his own feelings or Ethan’s. The memory of when he first met this man came to mind. Under the cold light of humankind’s spaceship, a packed group of nonhumans stood in front of him. In fact, the first person he noticed was Samuel, and then he saw Ethan, who he was talking to. At that time, he did not know the ties he would form in the future with the man who seemed to be submissive and unimportant.

Before the priest could answer, Ethan looked at him and continued, “Don’t you think you owe me an explanation? Did you come to Earth from the beginning to find me? ”

“But you know, I didn’t make it. I was too late, and he was too close to death, so the God of Order’s egg couldn’t bring his completely disordered body back to order. At that time, he was as shriveled as a skeleton, his hair was gone, and it was as if his skin had been soaked in water. His eyes were turbid and yellow, and his third eye was completely gone. He was breathing so hard, as though every breath he took was extremely painful, but as precious as the last. He was very afraid. Although he didn’t tell me, I could feel how intense his fear was.

“Can you imagine that? At that moment, the existence that had always been the most powerful in my life was so helpless. No one, no God, could help him.

“So I thought, if the God of Order can’t help me, what about the God of Disorder?

“At that time, I knew little about the God of Disorder, which was the representative of death and chaos, and I avoided it like the plague. But when people are in despair, they can really do anything.

“I found one of the ancient manuscripts in the temple’s collection, which recorded the method to have conscious communication with the Voyager Nyarlathotep. I needed to use some rotten animal corpses, some dirty bodily fluids, poisonous insects, and of course, my own blood. I smashed everything up and drew the sigil representing the gateway in my father’s room, the emblem you see carved on the roof now.

“When I opened my third eye, I saw it.

“Out of the window, in the mountains amid the silent forest of death, the ugly giant stood in the valley. Its face only had a blood-red tentacle, churning the clouds in the sky. It was so huge, and I was afraid the whole city of Siloan could see it clearly, but……it seemed that only I could see it because I didn’t hear any screams of fear.

“It clearly had no face, but I knew that he was watching me across the mountains, through the transparent window.

“Then it came, and where it passed, the trees were broken down, the plants withered, and all the animals escaped. A terrible whine echoed in the wind as I watched it walk easily across the mountains to my castle. I could only see a part of its face, and that disgusting red tentacle filled the whole window. I was paralyzed with fright and couldn’t move.

“It knew my name and why I called it. It said that it could help me, help me save my father’s body and his last bit of life temporarily, and prevent him from continuing to corrupt, but it had a price.”

Ethan’s dry lips opened slightly and trembled a few times. “The price……was to find the sacrifice?”

Tanisiel nodded. “He said that I need to find the chosen one. Only God’s chosen one can regenerate the core of the universe, Azathoth, in this universe, which would allow me to reunite with my father, or even my dead father who gave birth to me. He said that when the boundary between life and death is blurred, all people who are lost can be reunited. He didn’t tell me who the chosen one was. He just said that I should go to the dirtiest and most chaotic place on Earth after 13 years to find that special person, protect him, and make sure that he can accept all the arrangements coming.

“I thought that man was Samuel at first. At first, I thought that the person who would give birth to Azathoth would take the form of a mother, so it must be a strong person with a strong will. “That’s why I was on the ship’s cargo hold to help you. Until……until I noticed your unusual green eyes, and I remembered they symbolized the lineage of a Heavenbounder.”

Ethan inexplicably felt that his heartache was getting worse and felt as though there was something stuck in his throat.

Eyes, just because of his eyes.

Otherwise, he would not even look at him.

Ethan suddenly felt very stupid, thinking about how he had believed that Tanisiel came to Earth especially for him.

“During the past 13 years, I have been collecting ancient books and transcripts about the gods of Disorder. I already know that Heavenbounders were originally descendants of Azathoth, so they had green eyes similar to him. Therefore, the chosen one seemed to be more likely to be a celestial being. The rebirth of a god wouldn’t necessarily occur the way that our universe thinks, so it was possible for them not to be Omega. In addition, your perception in the face of the Goddess of Fertility was out of everyone’s expectations. In the final moments, when you made the last leap, it convinced me that you might be the one I needed to find.”

After speaking everything, Tanisiel seemed to be very tired. However, he managed to get up, approaching Ethan and looking at him with a complicated and pitying gaze. As both pairs of eyes gazed at each other, what was emanating between them was no longer warmth.

Ethan suddenly felt that his surroundings had grown colder. On this strange planet, he had only himself left.

“So this is not your father’s tomb, but mine, right?”

Tanisiel shook his head, placed his hand gently on Ethan’s forehead, and slowly opened the eye on his forehead.

Ethan saw that on the ceiling, behind the emblem on the door, the rock seemed to turn into glass. Through the blurry shadows, one could see an Eve with his head down. His eyes were closed, his skin was dry, his hands were slender, and he looked like a corpse. However, if you looked closely, you would find that his hair was very long, piled around him to form a mess of black shadows. His nails were also very long, like curled claws, as if they were still growing after death.

Ethan suddenly closed his eyes, not wanting to see such a terrible sight again. Tanisiel moved his hand away slowly. “See?”

“He’s still alive?”

“He’s neither alive nor dead. It’s more like……he is sleeping.”

“It’s better to die than to be like this!”

“But he didn’t want to die. I promised him I would save him at any cost.” Tanisiel’s voice sounded numb. At that time, he was too young when he made a promise to the crawling chaos. He promised everything so quickly in front of the terrifying devil when he faced the pressure of his father’s death. In fact, after so many years, he had doubted countless times whether his choice was right or whether it would be better to let it go and let his father die.

However, he had made a deal with the devil. Currently, if he broke the contract, an ending more terrible than death was waiting for him.

No one dared to fool the God of Trickery. Now that he had embarked on this road, he couldn’t return.

“Sorry……”

“Hahaha……” Ethan didn’t know how terrifying his laughter sounded and how it was more terrifying than hearing him cry. He opened his pair of empty eyes and tried to say in a calm voice, “Now that I think deeper about it, you have nothing to apologize to me for. Whether it was when I was infected on Red Earth, trapped in the second universe, or when I mutated on Pales, you were not the main culprit. You were just protecting me……to make sure I could finally come to the Eves’ planet. What’s more, you made it clear from the beginning that we were in a mutually beneficial relationship. It was me……”

I was the one who clearly knew that you were fire, but I insisted on chasing after you and rushing into the beam of light in my life.

Tanisiel’s heart was aching again.

Ethan didn’t finish what he had to say, but it only made Tanisiel feel worse. He remembered that to protect him on Pales, this fool took the initiative to rush to the Earth Union’s army. He thought of the way he peeped at Tanisiel on Red Earth and didn’t want to be noticed, thought of Ethan’s flustered appearance when he stole a kiss from him, thought of Ethan in the dark cave, clad in those dirty and evil tentacles, reaching out to him and looking at him with eyes containing great trust and longing, thought of the times they stayed wrapped in the sheets, when Tanisiel could see his seductive appearance that was very different from his everyday appearance……

Unconsciously, the priest seemed to care more and more about this seemingly insignificant man, who always performed amazing feats during critical moments. He had gradually fallen in love with his gentle, careful smile.

However, he constantly ignored his inner hesitation and brought the other party to the Eves’ planet, forcing him to face his biggest fear.

Ethan raised his bound hands and grabbed the priest’s sleeve. “What’s going to happen to me?”

“The priests will open the spiritual channel between you and Azathoth in accordance with the methods recorded in the manuscripts we have collected. At that time, the massive consciousness of the core of the universe will enter your mind, and you will become his puppet, the embodiment of Azathoth that can move freely in the God of Order’s universe.”

“And……what about me?” Ethan didn’t ask exactly, but Tanisiel knew what he meant.

The priest’s expression finally showed a trace of panic and pain as he replied, “I don’t know…”

Tanisiel was afraid that no spirit could bear the will of the core of the universe, right? It was possible that Ethan would be annihilated.

However, Ethan was the son of Nyarlathotep. Maybe he could survive, maybe he would share the same body with Azathoth, maybe their spirit would merge into a new Ethan.

Everything was possible, but Tanisiel felt inexplicably afraid.

That was the day he had originally been eagerly awaiting for so long, but looking at the desperate green eyes in front of him, he suddenly regretted it.

The author has something to say:

I’m in a bad mood these two days. Weibo has been blocked for no reason. I looked at it on my mobile phone, and it turned out that someone reported me one by one about my own articles and the Weibo that introduced Ethan and Tanisiel’s original appearance. They even reported some of my selfies (up to now, I don’t know what is there to report about my selfies? I’m all covered up too?) The comrades who have paid attention to my Weibo should know how low-key I am at ordinary times. It is clear that no sensitive information, no pornographic information in it, but without an explanation, my account was sealed, and Sina did not offer me an explanation. I searched the Internet for a while. It seems that many people have their accounts inexplicably sealed like me, and they couldn’t have their accounts back.

The students said it might be because of the same-gender theme, but I don’t know about this very well. Is it because of this? After all, there are so many articles about the United States, should they all be sealed? What’s more, it’s 2017. Do you want to engage in sexism? Now, I feel terrified to speak the truth. I just don’t know what I’ve done. I feel like I’ve been watched for no reason.

I just hate that I am not a famous author. When this happens, I can only swallow my anger. If you don’t want to return your account, I may consider switching to Lehu or some other website. There is a QQ group, and I don’t know if I can post it in JJWXC. In a word, we should say sorry to those who pay attention to me and can’t find me.

T/N: Btw, please support the original novel by buying the official jjwxc novel, if you can afford it.